2020 Recap – Meeting Goals

We can all breathe a sigh of relief – 2020 is now over and in the books. This certainly has been a year that can be named after the Clint Eastwood classic, “The Good, The Bad and the Ugly.” We have seen it all, lived to survive it, seen good people fall to the pandemic, watched a crazy political season (with the related wacky news media) and have still strived to accomplish something. Each year, we start off listing out the goals and objectives for the upcoming 12 months.  However, 2020 saw many people rip out that page in the book, crumple the paper up and toss it in the garbage.  Let’s face it, I could have written out the same thing last year in regards to 2019 with removing the pandemic reference.  Truth is, there were more challenges in 2020 than in prior years…but, as a challenge, they should still be met heads on and met face-to-face. As James Allen stated so well, “Adversity does not build character, it reveals it.”

One benefit from this year due to self-quarantining was the ability to reflect (“The Good, the Bad and the Ugly”).  Most people do not like to sit and focus on themselves, as it can be uncomfortable to find out one might learn about themselves. However, self-reflection is key to understanding where you are in your life, finding opportunities for continued personal development and a measurement of how you are proceeding. As Aristotle put it, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” We have had plenty of time for this type of activity and it looks like we will start off 2021 with the same chances to repeat.

Another benefit, for Debbie and me, was having our daughters still living with us. This year was an opportunity to enjoy our family in a way we would have otherwise not had the chance to do. The past months have given us time to learn more about each other (“The Good, the Bad and the Ugly”) and, honestly, come to find that we are able to survive and live together in peace and harmony. There was the occasion recently where I had a commitment and felt bad that I would miss eating dinner with my family. “After 9 months of eating every dinner together, you can miss one dinner,” was the response I got. As we managed together, it was good to have this time to remember once the girls move out and live their own lives.

As Mahatma Gandhi stated, “I cried because I had no shoes, then I met a man who had no feet.”  We have to continually remind ourselves that no matter how bad we have it, someone else has it worse off. Helping those in need is always a way to focus on what we have, as we give a helping hand to relieve other’s true misfortunes. Being heavily involved in my synagogue, it is a wonderful feeling to see the generosity displayed by the congregation and others in reaching out in many ways, providing food, toys, donations (time and money) and other ways to help out.

While we all hope that 2021 is a better year than 2020, this is a wish we should have each year. Let’s face it, I could have written out the same thing last year in regards to 2020 or next year relating to 2022, with the pandemic removed from our lives. Here’s to the good from 2020 and the good for 2021!

A Time of Opportunity

Thomas Edison once said, “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”  We are currently living in a time where most of us are home-bound due to Covid-19.  Thankfully, many of us are employed due to the wonders of modern technology.  There has been an uptick in the usage of Netflix, Hulu has offered free services and I have gotten notifications that some of the online games have added more functionality so that we have additional items to entertain us while we are home.  While I can easily agree that we need distractions (we always need these), the distractions should not become the norm and we need to remember that life around us does not stand still.

It is easy to attract people to things that require minimal effort.  Because of this, it can be easy to get lulled into this type of comfort zone.  Just because we are self-quarantined, anxious about direct human contact, or are really becoming homebodies, does not mean that we have to give up all opportunities.  We are bound within these four walls for today, but one day (or some time in the near future), we will be allowed to roam freely again.  Many people are saying that we will have to wait and see what we are allowed to do and when we will be able to do it.  With that mindset, the day we wake up and are once again allowed to “pass Go” will be the day that we are already behind.

Back to the quote from my fellow New Jerseyian, there is currently work that can be done.  While those of us who work in the world of projects, it is always good to know when the project is expected to go live.  However, if we lay out the expected tasks, we should have some idea how long tasks should take and when a viable date would be, barring any unexpected hiccups along the way (which most projects have).  Besides, after close to nine weeks being inside, it is healthy to have some goals to strive for, some projects to work on and something in the future to look forward to.  While it is easy to catch up on our shows, see the movies we never made it to and try the games that everyone talks about, now is the time to look for the opportunities.  Yes, it is dressed in overalls and looks like work, but it is better to don the garb and try your hand at the work rather than say, “I could have done that” after someone else beats you to it.

To Be or Not To Be 25 Again

During the Super Bowl, it was great to see the “Ground Hog’s Day” commercial with Bill Murray, which made sense, as both Ground Hog’s Day and the Super Bowl were on the same day.  Besides acting as a reminder to a fun movie, it was great to see the theme revisited with so much fun.  As the week progressed, it did make me think about having the opportunities to do something over, recycle a portion of my life, or just start over again.  Of course, this is merely a mental exercise, but it does make one stop and think about what if we could have a redo?  Would things turn out different or would they be the same?

Juxtaposition this with having a child that just turned 25.  While she comments on the quarter century mark, us older folk remember (although through tinted glass, aka the filters of time) where we were when we were that age.  I actual had a conversation with someone that stated that even though she is ten years older than Gab, she found a huge difference in time.  At 35, she knew where she was in life, where she wants to head and had experienced enough of life to understand things better.  At 25, she remembered not being sure of the future, still trying to “figure things out” and being a bit rudderless.  When I turned 25 (that would have been 1987), I was still living at home, was on my first adult job and was pretty much clueless on my life and where I wanted to go.  So, yeah, I would have to agree with the assessment that I heard.

What about having a chance to go back and do it all over again?  Aside from the fact that I would have my 25-year-old body and all the energy that it would bring, would I really want to go back, even with knowing what I know today?  I have gathered 32 years more of life experience, have a pretty good understanding of where I am, have a direction my life is going, and I have a great wife and family.  I am where I am based on what has happened to me and am comfortable with the results.  Would I want to go back, tamper with my success (and failures)?  To be honest, if I would end up exactly where I am at, it would be fun.  But if not…I cannot fathom a different life, a different spouse, a different family.  I am happy where I am at.  So, while repeating Bill Murray’s day over and over has some measure of fun, I am happy to have this point in life and all it has to offer.  How about you?

Taking the Helm

Entitlement: “The fact of having a right to something,” or, “The belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.” ~ Oxford Dictionary

As part of going through the goal setting process for this year, it is important that we use proper language in writing out our objectives.  One of the key points in setting goals is to define the actions that you will take to achieve them.  The key here is the actions that YOU will take.  If my goal is to sit here and rely on others, then you are banking on someone else’s goals to include you and benefit you.  Let me be the first to warn you…You will have a long wait.  No matter what you might think that you have done for others, that does not mean that you are entitled to something in return.  Humans tend to be a little more self-centered by nature!

I remember hearing political campaigns where the people in the audience would tell reporters “that is my candidate, because he will take care of me.”  Again, sorry to be the first to warn you…Many, but not all, politicians will tell you what you want to hear or present agenda items to you to lead you to a conclusion that may or may not benefit you.  We are a species who are definitely influenced by our emotions, the two strongest being fear and love.  Some of the greatest (and evil) dictators of all time played on emotions to mobilize the masses to engage in activities that they might have done on their own.  If someone can arouse your fears, tell you what to do and then they will make it better – beware.

Many years ago, I decided to get my MBA in Finance.  The company that I was working for at that time had a tuition reimbursement program.  Being employed as an Accountant, there was no issue on getting their agreement.  I spent four years going to school at night to get this new degree, where it was my choice to go back to school, my choice to improve self and my choice to dedicate the time required to get a good grade in the effort.  I had heard plenty of stories that if you go back to school, when you graduate you are entitled to a raise automatically.  When I graduated, my manager congratulated me with a pat on the back and Debbie (my fiancé at the time) sent me balloons at work.  I found out that I was entitled to no raise, promotion or even a happy hour.  I was not upset, because my reasons for going back to school were for my personal benefit, not to make me entitled.  At work, my pay is based on the value that I bring to my company, not what I think that I am entitled to.

One week after talking goals, why was this on my mind?  Because sometimes, we do forget that we need to be in control of our own paths.  Roadblocks, bumps in the road and extenuating circumstances are all things that are beyond our control.  True in our lives, whether personal, at work, at play or anywhere else.  If we focus on the things that can control, we will have a better chance of reaching our goals, as opposed to ceding control and relying on others.  To be up front, I have thought about after my years invested in raising / providing for my family, working long hours and helping other, etc., that will come a day where I can sit back, relax and let someone else take care of me.  It is a mindset thing because, I do not know if I even could sit still, cede control of everything to someone or even just relax.  I do know, that if that were to happen, I better plan now for it instead of waiting to see who will do all that for me. 

New Year, New Me?

The importance of setting goals

As we have been taught from a young age, the new year is a time for setting our goals, with the corollary being a new year a new you.  I have heard some people push back on this and minimize the importance.  Do we really need to set our goals on January 1^st?  The real answer is no – we can set goals during the course of the year, but need to remember to set targets for achievement and a date by which to meet those goals.  Is it easier to start something on January 1 and end on December 31?  Yes, as we have a date defined for us when to begin and when to end.  In either case, it is important to review where you are at along the way; we should never fall into the trap of being 11 months in before we take a first look at how we are doing.  As a project manager, no client would wait that long into a project to gather feedback, hold their breath on the status, or expect no adjustments along the way.  That is a business case that we can apply to our own lives, such as when I shared the journey a few years ago on changing my habits on food and exercise.

Writing out our goals

Making a public declaration of our goals is one thing.  How many of you actually hand write them down?  As a confession, sometimes I have and sometimes I have not.  However, many thought leaders and successful people in various fields swear by the benefits of writing down goals and doing so in detail.  There is the often-repeated story about Jim Carey writing down his earnings goals when he got to Hollywood.  There is the story that circulated about a man finding the picture he drew of his dream house that he found years after he was living in his dream house; he drew a picture of the house he was living in many years before the house was purchased.  Or the cases where a spouse has written out in detail the mate they hoped to meet and eventually did.  There are plenty of articles on the internet that explain the Neuroscience studies on this.  The simple explanation is that by writing down our goals in detail will help to encode the information to our brain.  Our brain unconsciously then works, or focuses, on what we have passed it, sort of like when you are thinking about a new car you are interested in and all of a sudden, you see that car everywhere.  James Allen wrote the classic book, “As a Man Thinketh” in 1903, and his points about thinking and following through were true then and have science to back it up today.

Goals that are attainable and realistic

“I want to be president of an organization.”  “I want millions of dollars.”  “I want a life of complete financial freedom.”  These are all great goals!  But, are they realistic to achieve in 12 months?  For each of these three and many more big goals (yes, we should think big), in reality there are many steps along the way to reach our desires – there are no shortcuts.  I am president of my synagogue (goal 1?) and this goal did not occur overnight.  I worked on committees, co-chaired a committee with my wife, joined the Board, then was a vice-president for 5 years where I had the opportunity to “learn the ropes.”  In the business world, there would need to be years in various positions before being able to move into a top position.  For the monetary goals, unless you are one of the few that invents the next best thing since sliced bread, you have to be willing to follow a path, with a series of goals that need to be met (in terms of areas of expertise), that include knowledge building and financial earnings power.  The big goals may be multi-year, but the current goals need to be realistic so that achieving them will cause you to continue towards the bigger goals, as opposed to failing, getting frustrated and walking away from your dreams.

Next Steps

Now comes the hard part – putting pen to paper.  Write down your goals, plan out your milestones and start a periodic review process.  Not sure you know everything that you need to?  This is where personal development comes into play; begin by creating a reading plan and attend seminars (much easier with the web).  I know that it has become a cliché statement, but now that you have “planned the work, you need to work the plan.”  Here’s to a fruitful and productive year!

Do You Get It?

Have you ever explained something and the person you were talking with had the blank deer in the head lights look?  How about the deafening silence on the other side of the phone?  A roomful of people sitting like mannequins?  The slack jaw gawk of disbelief staring you in the face?  You know what I mean…the one(s) you are talking to either does not understand a word you are saying, or just simply does not get it.  This is usually when the audience is receiving new information, facing change or having something new clarified to them.  The most difficult time is when there is change afoot.

I truly believe that at times we can be so change averse, regardless of how dire our situation, we cannot fathom the world is changing, the past is over or leaving behind our comfortable world.  Unfortunately, that type of mindset leads to waiting so long to take action that when we rise out of our comfortable chair to do something relevant, the moment has long ago passed us by…the old saying “too little too late” applies.  Sadly, at this juncture, we have nothing to do but sit back down in our old worn comfortable chair and wonder what happened.  This can happen to organizations, political positions and to people who do not evaluate their situation until there is no choice left.  This is the category where advice, statistics and views into the wider world do not register.

The flip side are those that keep their heads up and look out towards the horizon watching for shifts in the tide (trends).  They want to be aware of where the future can bring us.  Thomas Alva Edison is attributed to have said “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”  This category will recognize that there are challenges ahead, opportunities to be addressed and work to be done to point towards the future.  This group will take this to heart and most importantly, put forth the effort required to reach those goals.  Change is not a foreign concept, but indigenous to the path that they stride upon. 

There is another group – those that see the changes / challenges ahead, but like where they are and are comfortable falling behind those that move ahead.  We have all met those people that are happy to remain in that bubble that they long ago surrounded themselves in, not cutting off the world, but enjoying the peace, tranquility and circle of comfort that they prefer to live in.  This can apply to individuals or larger groups of people that live in a modern world, but choose to exist in their own way.

During the course of time, if we are involved in many different components of our lives, we might face each of the above.  As always, life is full of options and choices.  Sometimes the answers are straight forward.  Sometimes the answers are clouded by too many paths before us or unclear options.  Sometimes, we wait to see what will happen, due to being unsure.    I was once taught that confused people do nothing.  It is hard when you are part of a group that needs change, but cannot see it, nor the value it would bring.  Which category do you belong to? 

New Year 5780

It is once again that time of year where we wish our friends and family a sweet New Year.  It is also that time of the year, once again, where we have the opportunity to take stock in what we have accomplished, to assess the goals that have fallen short and to think about where we need to be in the upcoming year.  Some years I find that things go as planned, other years I am off the mark.  The years where things go well, I look forward to review how I did.  The other years, I look towards the review less excited but know that to get better in the future I have to go through with it.  Either way, it is that time of year.

This past year, 5779, was one of the good years!  On the personal front, Bec has graduated from college and I am now proud of both of my working girls.  Debbie and I had a great year together, working together as a couple, being supportive best friends and enjoying facing life together.  On the professional front, I have successfully changed jobs, shifting back into the consulting world and became an authorized trainer.  On the volunteer front, I am still the president of my synagogue, where I think we made a small dent in their universe and have worked towards changing peoples’ mindset.  The year was productive! 

One thing is certain – We each need to measure our successes on our own merit, our own goals and our own lives.  We are each our own person and must remember that as we review our year, we look at it through our own eyes, through our abilities and our desires.  It is easy to fall into the trap of, “I did not do as good as so-and-so,” “How come so-and-so got X while I did not,” and “I should have done, like so-and-so.”  As we look towards the next year, we should set our sights on the things we wish to accomplish, the help we wish to provide to others and the personal growth we wish to develop. 

Choose your path wisely, set reasonable goals and be diligent in following the path in front of you.

Here’s to a Meaningful, Happy, Healthy and Prosperous 5780!

The Emperor has New Clothes?

We are all familiar with the saying, “Clothes Makes the man.”  There was a point in my life where I did my best to prove this wrong - I dressed like a slob and really did not care about how I looked.  I really believed that appearances did not matter and that it was the person behind the façade that counted.  I think that the nadir of this thought hit me when I was coming home from college senior year wearing a crumpled dashiki, had longish unkempt hair and wore ripped jeans.  It was OK that I was wearing them as long as no one saw me, but where I faltered was in deciding to visit my dad who was the General Manager of a spice and seasoning plant at his place of business while in this dress.  I often stopped on the way home but never looking like this.  Aghast, my dad pulled me into his office, let me know how he felt, then booted me out of the place.

His reason?  I was an embarrassment to him and as his son, my look was a poor reflection on him.  “But how I look should not matter…”  No matter what argument I could have mounted, he was right and I was wrong.  And while in many ways I still feel the same, the truth is our first impressions are done visually, before we even open our mouth.  Fast forward many years and I am consulting in a manufacturing plant, where jeans and tee shirts were the norm.  I wore a collared shirt and slacks every day – I wanted to give off a professional appearance, especially since I was hired as “the professional.”  Fast forward to the current day where I have opportunities to work from home.  I will still wear a collared shirt and long pants, sometimes slacks, sometimes jeans, but never shorts.  No one will see me, but I have come to feel that while I am “on the clock”, I need to be in the proper apparel to achieve the right mindset.  Dressing appropriately not only helps on a first appearance but how I feel about myself.

Do not get me wrong, I am still a jeans and tee shirt person; it is just that I have learned the time and place for when and how to dress.  The accompanying picture is from a recent wedding.  I find that on occasion, it is nice for us to “dress up” and look good.  Even at 56, dressing up like this makes me feel like an adult!  So, do clothes make the man?  In doing a little research, it ends up that this phase, or derivations, has been around since the time of Homer.  The version most well-known comes from Mark Twain, where the full quote is, “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”  I think that I will stick with the clothes and continue to work towards presenting a better, complete package.

Facing Our Day Head On, No Matter What We See In Front of Us

Wouldn’t it be great to wake up one morning and have everything go your way or to have an idea, desire or goal to automatically manifest itself?  On top of this, there would be no barriers or push backs to success.  Although this sounds wonderful, a few issues come to mind: no lessons will be learned and there will be no opportunities to improve upon.

In the classic television show, The Twilight Zone, there is an episode called, “A Nice Place to Visit.”  In the story, the main character, Rocky, is greeted by a man named Pip (played by Sebastian Cabot) who informs Rocky that his job is to provide whatever the man desired.  As the main character later realizes, getting everything you want can be boring because you do not have to do anything to get what you want.  This is a great episode with a typical Rod Serling twist.  One of the “lessons” in this story is that if we are handed everything on a silver platter and we have not put out any effort, life does not have meaning.  We need to have challenges in our lives, goals to accomplish and be active in pursuing our dreams.  To attain these, it is almost a guarantee that barriers pop up along the way to either distract us or prohibit our progress, causing things to not go our way. 

There is the old Yiddish saying, “Mench tracht un gut lached” (Man plans / thinks and G-d laughs).  The related phase is “The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray.”  Basically, no matter what we do, there is a chance that something we did not account for, something beyond our control, or something was missed when setting out to do things.  Our options are to ignore, keep moving on, or address it head on.  While ignoring seems like a valid option, sticking one’s head in the sand only means that when you come up for air, the issue is still staring you in the face.  Keeping on moving forward, while seeming to make sense, could work out.  However, like the piece of toilet paper stuck to your shoe, that related issue might follow you wherever you go.  The best solution is to address it head on.  Most of the time, we do not want to do this – this means we are facing our fears, might have to put ourselves in an uncomfortable situation and deal with the unexpected.  But once we face these head on, we find ourselves back on track and have gained something positive in the process.

If we woke up every morning and everything went our way, wouldn’t that be great?  We would never have the opportunity to learn, we would never have the chance for personal development, we would never face our challenges and would never gain the benefits that come with personal achievements.  As great as the idea seems, I will gladly face the day head on, embrace the unexpected and enjoy whatever comes my way.

Old Men Rocking

For Debbie and me, this has been a bonanza year for seeing musicians we always wanted to see and bands we never saw before.  OK – it was more like watching a series of senior citizen acts.  But I have to tell you, for people ranging in age from late 60’s into their 80’s, these people still have it.

This last week, I saw two concerts (one without Debbie) that were from the same era and influential in their own ways.  The first one, which I saw with my old friend Marty (yes, knowing people 40 years makes them old friends), was Herb Alert.  While he no longer tours with the Tijuana Brass, he has a great combo of jazz musicians and tours with his wife (who sang with Sergio Mendez and Brazil 66).  At 84, he still walks confidently onto the stage and still plays well.  He did a medley or two covering the hits from the Tijuana Brass and ventured off onto the songs he wanted to play and improvise on.  As a multi-Grammy winner (including one in 2013 for best instrumental album), he was filling stadiums in the 1960’s, had hit records against the era of The Beatles and had an even bigger impact by being the “A” in highly successful record label, A&M.

The second concert, which I saw with Debbie, was one of her all-time favorite bands – The Rolling Stones.  It is not unusual for musicians, as they age, to slow down their music, be more efficient in their approach and potentially relax more on stage.  Later in his career, B.B. King sat while he played.  I saw Jerry Lee Lewis play years ago when he was in his 50’s and Great Balls of Fire was played as a ballad.  At 76 and having undergone heart surgery earlier this year, Mick Jagger still runs, struts and has “the moves like Jagger.”  The rest of the band still cranks out the Rock and Roll and keeps a pace rivaling back to their younger years.  Their approach to music, performing and being labeled “The World’s Greatest Rock and Roll Band,” has set the standard for what defines a Rock musician.  And as 55+ year veterans, it is now what one can still do and what one can enjoy, no matter how old you get.

Aside from great music played by legendary musicians, what was my take away from the past week?  Herb Alpert commented that in most cases, people do not remember the songs played, but the feeling that they get after going to a concert.  In both cases:

·         They have been popular acts for as long as I have been on this planet. 

·         As senior citizens, they both still pursue their passions

·         They are all living life to the fullest, even into the 80’s, and can still be relevant

·         In the Stones case, adversity and illness has not stopped them from doing what they enjoy

It is easiest to reach a point in one’s life and “retire” from our passions, our dreams and our desires.  The “senior” musicians I saw showed the impact of overcoming roadblocks, working towards a healthy lifestyle and striving to be at your peak at whatever point you are at in your life.  They make no excuses for going out and living each and every day to their fullest.

Creativity on Pause?

After 297 blog posts, starting late in 2013, posting every Monday – Have I run out of new thoughts, ideas and experiences to write about?  In that time, I have missed only two weeks and that was within the last couple of months.  I like the creative outlet, the chance to share thoughts, and to journal my world.  As we went into last weekend, I did not have an article prepared.  Well, not ready would be more like it.  I had started the article, the topic was relevant (to my life), but the execution was not meaningful.  My main editor as of late (that would be Gab) asked why I did not have a backlog of articles.  There are times when I have a backlog, depending on my creative flow of thoughts. 

It would seem, at least to me, that there are times where we are engaged in certain things / activities and at some point, after years or some significant time, we want to take a step back and re-evaluate where we are at, where we are going, and the overall value of what we are doing.  I guess one way to visualize this thought is to see the way athletes’ function, who during their careers are in peak physical condition and shortly after they retire, so do their bodies.  I saw this with my grandfather – he was in the food business and had a fantastic sense of taste.  Then he decided to retire, and shortly afterwards his taste buds decided to follow the same course, as fine dining was replaced by mediocre buffets.  To maintain the same high level / standards, it requires diligence, persistence and consistency which takes energy and time. 

I started writing to fulfill something that I had always wanted to do, but never had a fully fleshed out an idea enough to be a book.  This shorter form, blogging, met that desire and still brings me pleasure.  OK, the creative pictures that I include also fulfill that creative notion.  Having missed a week, nobody noticed…which means that if I stop, would anyone say anything?  Truth is, I would notice.  I enjoy sharing my thoughts, I enjoy the challenge that this signifies to me and I enjoy the fact that I can point to something I have done consistently.

Jascha Heifetz, considered amongst one of the greatest violinists, is also known for saying, “If I don't practice one day, I know it; two days, the critics know it; three days, the public knows it.”  The fact that he acknowledges himself first in the list shows the integrity of his approach towards his art and ability.  While it is easy to take a break, step back or go on hiatus, it is easier to remain idle than to start up again.  The old example of a steam engine – where there is an immense amount of energy expended to start the train moving, so much so that a rock on the track could stop the entire process.  But, once in motion, that same train will crush through anything in its way while using little energy.  That is the power of momentum.  While I missed last week, it was merely a bump in the road and now it is back to doing what I enjoy.

Carrying the Burden

How often do you wake up feeling like you have the weight of the world upon your shoulders?  I do not mean that the entire universe is resting on your shoulder like Atlas, where moving your pinky toe has a ripple effect on the everything in existence; however, some days it might feel like it.  The feeling might come from something you are planning, an event you are looking forward to or a presentation to upper management where the impact can affect future decisions.  We all know people who walk around feeling that the planet revolves around them but seemingly do not feel the burden that I am talking about.

Calling all parents – here is a group who definitely feel these burdens.  As parents, we are concerned about our children and their future and whether or not we have done enough to prepare them for their own lives.  Many of us still have our parents, where once they were our guardians, our teachers and our caregivers.  Today, the roles have begun, if not already, to change.  When I travel, I always have my phone on next to me, just in case my family needs to reach me in an emergency.  Yes, as our children move into the young adult phase, they become more independent, have jobs and can provide for themselves; however, it does ease that stress level up.

There are always the points in our lives where we have to address the choices before us, evaluate the options that stare us in the face and guide the path towards personal and collective futures.  This is where the stress and pressure can really come to a head.  It can be hard for most people to want to take on the responsibilities of ownership when it comes to this topic.  I have had the pleasure of sitting in meetings where we all look around the room waiting for someone to take ownership, knowing whom the correct person for the task should be… being “the person” to make decisions can cause the fear of not making the right choice, being afraid no one will like the decision and discomfort of having all eyes on them.   The people who rise to those occasions, most likely have the same concerns and fears – it is human nature, we all have that little voice (called doubt) chatting away in our heads.

When you feel that sense of burden, remember you are not alone.  Responsibility is not something to take lightly!  We have to remember our goals and objectives.  The causes, the values and the future outcomes we desire are what really make up who we are and the person who we strive to be.  Diligence, consistency and persistence help to negate the feelings of burden.  I still follow the old adage – plan the work, then work the plan in many parts of my life.  Many mornings, when I feel like Atlas with the world pressing down on my shoulders, I take a few minutes before getting out of bed, mentally revisit the activities for the day.  Doing this helps the weight of the world to lift off of my shoulders, because I understand what I need to do to get through the day.  And once the day ends, it is easy enough to review what happened, feel good about facing fears, address issues and accomplish goals and objectives.   

A Fresh Start

Day one…a New Year, a new month and a new job.  Change happens and it is real.  The last time that I changed the company I was working for was 16 years ago.  In 33 years in the work force, I have elected to change companies 3 times and was laid off once prior to 2018.  The difference this time around was that I was in control of the decision (sign of maturity?) and approached the company that I want to work for, where I felt that I can add value and be a helpful resource for them.

Am I nervous about the change?  Yes.  Something new, starting over and making a change are a tall order.  I have to confess that I was comfortable working at ITG; I knew the ropes and was a seasoned veteran there which provided an immense feeling of belonging, knowing fully what I could do and to some extent, steer my own course.  Without stepping outside of my comfort zone, nothing for me will change, nothing for me will grow and nothing new will come my way.  A step in personal growth and self-development is realizing that change is needed and it is up to me to make the choices to ensure that I am personally challenged, have the opportunities to develop / gain new skills and put myself in a position to help others achieve their goals.  And for that, I am more excited than nervous.

The company that I am going to work for is CompIntelligence, a provider of enterprise performance management and equity compensation services, to work on helping to train and manage projects implementing OneStream Software, a rapidly growing CPM (Corporate Performance Management) software.  Having been involved with the software from a user implementation perspective, I am excited to help “spread the word” on this fantastic product that stands head and shoulders over the previously implemented software.  I was excited when I first saw the demo of this new company’s software, had a great implementation experience (to view my testimonial: https://www.onestreamsoftware.com/success-stories/itg ) and believed in being part of the vision. 

Each year, we are supposed to step back, evaluate how we did in the past year and set down where we would like to move towards in the new year ahead.  2018 held some great things for me and by making a change in companies to start the new year, I have automatically set in motion goals for 2019.  Make wise choices in this new year, set my sights firmly on where I am heading and remain persistent and consistent to attaining them.  May this year be the best year yet!

Bec Graduates!

Bec has graduated college!!! 

I was tempted to end on that one exciting line.  Our baby has joined the ranks of college alumnus.  While at this point, she is no longer truly a baby.  However, as my mother (who Bec is named after) often told my brothers and me, “No matter how old you are, you will always be my babies.”  In truth, Bec has developed into a young adult, makes decisions for herself and has a great future of her own device ahead of her.  We all have reached an important milestone – for Bec, it is an end to undergrad life and for us, the time in our lives where we have seen both of our children reach an important education level. 

As we were with Gab last year at this time, we are proud of Bec.  As parents, we do the thing we feel is best to see our children strive to reach their potential.  While the girls are still young, the path before them is exciting, full of hopes, dreams, and goals to obtain.  I love the parenting quote by Andy Andrews, “We’re not trying to raise good kids. We’re trying to raise kids who become great adults.”  Once our children finish their education, like little birds leaving the nest, we must let them learn to fly on their own.  Yes, we still want to wrap them in their arms, to keep them safe, to watch over them and to still provide unending advice.  Even though Gab has been on her own this past year, that still holds true.  As with the young chick, she could stand on her own, make her own decisions and (happy for us) still come to spend time at our home.

At the ceremony, the moment that she came down the aisle during the processional, I was filled with emotion.  As she stood in line, I yelled loudly for Bec, she saw us, posed for a picture and then sat down.  The speeches were good and meaningful, but we still waited with anticipation for the moment when each student was called up.  We cheered wildly when her name was announced.  But when the President of the school conferred the moment of graduating upon the former undergrad students, with the symbolic of moving the tassel on their caps from the right to left, I felt a few tears leak out of my eyes.  Our baby is now a graduate, having worked hard to reach this point a year ahead of schedule.  The important lesson is there – work hard for the things that you want, stay focused and strive for your goals.  I am soooo proud of Bec!  I am proud of both my daughters (yes, I am sitting here writing with my chest puffed out) and all they have accomplished! 

For Bec, this is an end to one chapter of her life.  And like reading a book, the page is turned and now begins the adventure ahead.  Congratulations!

Lighting the Fire Under One’s A**

When we “put our best foot forward”, do we take a stand on our purpose or just waver our foot in the air struck by indecision in what we envision?  This is a hard question to ask, and in many cases, to face.  All of us have things that we believe in, things we wish to pursue, and things we wish to accomplish.  While there are many studies and thought leaders who will point out that fear will hold a person back from taking action, we often come across individuals who have a passion for what they strive for.

As a project manager, I occasionally deal with passionate people – the one’s whose goals are on the line, the people who want to ensure changes occur and, on the flip side, those who want to stick by what they currently do.  Being involved in a volunteer leadership position, these are the people that are passionate about the future, those who bring new ideas to the table and again, on the flip-side, those who want to stick by what they are familiar with.  In my personal life, these would be the people who champion causes, pursue career ideals, strive for strong family and relationships, and yes, those that protect what they have.  Even the most cool, calm collected person must be passionate about something.  There should be a fire that drives them from day-to-day.  We have all met people that seemingly have no desire, but to live out the day, that suddenly excel in something – something they have found a passion for.

Easiest example, which we have all experienced, is vacation time.  You have waited years to go on that one special trip, to go to that place that you have dreamed about going to, to act out the plans you have worked on.  The daily routine of life has a chance to be put on hold.  As the day comes closer, you wake up quicker in the morning with the expectation of the departure date.  You seemingly zip through the work that needs to be accomplished.  You talk about the upcoming excursions and all activities, and somehow life is aligned to making this happen.  A passion has been ignited, which leads to enthusiasm and motivation which otherwise might be dormant.  It is a HUGE natural rush! 

Here's to finding the things that ignite one’s passion, leading to the ability to achieve greater things and, of course, finding the drive to make things happen!