The COVID Effect

I have been personally affected by COVID.  That’s affected, not infected.  I am pretty sure that we have reached the point where most of us know someone who has contracted the disease, but most assuredly, we all have been or seen the impact.  This pandemic has impacted the way we think, the way we shop, the way we communicate and the way we interact with each other.  We can readily see the changes to the world of education, the job market and the rising failures of long-standing businesses.  We have even seen the impact (at least partially) on the outcome of the most recent presidential election.

If we take a step back a bit, maybe some of these changes were already underway and the current condition just sped things along.  Let’s face it; Amazon has been around and changed the way we shop prior to all of this.  Businesses that were not able to adapt were struggling beforehand, even if we did not quite realize it.  Living in a town with a large number of malls, store closings and bankruptcies started prior to this year.  How about communications?  I remember being on a video conference call 25 years ago and was amazed at the technology which was extremely expensive at the time.  10 years ago, I tried my hand at Network Marketing for a company whose major product was the video phone at a time when Facetime was making its move.  Prior to January, there were plenty of options for “seeing” the person that you were talking to.

The areas where there was real change was not being face-to-face.  I helped out recently at an annual Turkey Drive to collect food for a local food pantry through our synagogue.  It was great to see congregants and generous people, especially in a time of self-confinement, still drop off a significant amount of food.  Yes, times have gotten tougher for some people (COVID effect).  While it was great to see participants, I later realized that I had the chance to SEE different people…and it was not a face taking up a tiny square.  Whether you like people or not, human interaction is still a big part of our human experience, and that is one of things that we will remember long after our new normal is established.  That is the one thing that technology cannot change.

Change is always inevitable, sometimes moving at a snail’s pace, other times more rapidly.  Chances are, this “event” will be studied for years and we will continue to point back to the impact made.  While we still try to grasp the longer-range impact that the pandemic has on our lives, we still need to keep our heads high, wear a brave face, keep our wits about us and remember to be safe.  This is not the first time we have faced a pandemic, nor will it be the last.  It is simple - Wear your masks and keep a social distance.  We might sacrifice in the near term, but it is worth the benefits of staying healthy in the long term. 

Steppin' Out

 

I do not get out much.  Since March, I have written about the minimal times that I have been out, the circles that I have drawn around myself and the diligence to remain safe.  The truth is, while my comfort zone is primarily my house, that does not mean I do not yearn to go out and do the things that we used to do.  I have commented that I would love to get in the car and drive somewhere for vacation, but I have no desire to eat in a hotel, when half the fun of vacation is going and doing what you want in the moment that you want to do it. 

Last week, cabin fever was reaching a peak.  Debbie suggested that I come up with something that I would like to do.  What we really needed was a change of scenery, something outside our usual travelling (i.e., the supermarket), and something to feel good and safe about.  We wanted to go someplace outside and to get some exercise.  After a little research, we found the perfect location.  We found a historical pedestrian walkway over the Hudson River where the walkway is a converted railroad bridge.  The two of us gathered our supplies (snacks, drinks, toiletries, etc.), hopped into the car and off we went.  After the past five months of barely leaving my house, I was travelling outside the county and crossing the state border.  Nothing too hair raising, but this felt like a big step.  And who better to have an adventure with than my wife!

It was a great day to take a drive.  The sun was out and driving up the NY turnpike was enough to make the trip worthwhile.  We followed the Hudson River north until we crossed over the Mid-Hudson Bridge.  Looking off to the left, we could see the “Walkway over the Hudson”, our destination.  We arrived at the half full parking lot, donned our masks, grabbed our drinks and went off.  I was nervous at first, until I noticed that everyone maintained a social distance from the other walkers.  Everyone had masks with them, though took them off while walking.  We reached the far side of the bridge, then walked through the streets of Poughkeepsie to have a chance to walk across the Mid-Hudson Bridge.  This bridge was empty.  Then we found something really cool and unexpected; The composer, Joseph Bertolozzi, recorded the sound of the bridge to create music.  Along the walk are stations that explain his process and present this unique musical experience. 

When we returned to our car, we realized that this was exactly what the doctor ordered.  We had a safe mini-adventure.  Even though we thought about finding a place to get a drink, we played it safe and realized that we could pick up a drink from a drive through and then drive home.  It was a great day!  OK, all we really did was go to a different location for a walk, but a change of location, exercise, a sunny day and walking hand-in-hand with my wife…it was worth “Steppin’ out, with my baby.” *

 

* Music from Irving Berlin played in my head…

A Time of Opportunity

Thomas Edison once said, “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”  We are currently living in a time where most of us are home-bound due to Covid-19.  Thankfully, many of us are employed due to the wonders of modern technology.  There has been an uptick in the usage of Netflix, Hulu has offered free services and I have gotten notifications that some of the online games have added more functionality so that we have additional items to entertain us while we are home.  While I can easily agree that we need distractions (we always need these), the distractions should not become the norm and we need to remember that life around us does not stand still.

It is easy to attract people to things that require minimal effort.  Because of this, it can be easy to get lulled into this type of comfort zone.  Just because we are self-quarantined, anxious about direct human contact, or are really becoming homebodies, does not mean that we have to give up all opportunities.  We are bound within these four walls for today, but one day (or some time in the near future), we will be allowed to roam freely again.  Many people are saying that we will have to wait and see what we are allowed to do and when we will be able to do it.  With that mindset, the day we wake up and are once again allowed to “pass Go” will be the day that we are already behind.

Back to the quote from my fellow New Jerseyian, there is currently work that can be done.  While those of us who work in the world of projects, it is always good to know when the project is expected to go live.  However, if we lay out the expected tasks, we should have some idea how long tasks should take and when a viable date would be, barring any unexpected hiccups along the way (which most projects have).  Besides, after close to nine weeks being inside, it is healthy to have some goals to strive for, some projects to work on and something in the future to look forward to.  While it is easy to catch up on our shows, see the movies we never made it to and try the games that everyone talks about, now is the time to look for the opportunities.  Yes, it is dressed in overalls and looks like work, but it is better to don the garb and try your hand at the work rather than say, “I could have done that” after someone else beats you to it.

Planning for Brighter Days

Imagine the year is 1519 and we have been sailing on a ship crossing the Atlantic for weeks on end.  We know that we are going to land in what was then termed the new world.  As a crew member, we know that we are on a mission of conquest.  As the commander, Hernan Cortes, planned the landing, the actions to take, the steps in conquest and how to navigate the near future that would fall into his lap.  Though we are not currently sitting in the hull of a 16^th century boat, it certainly seems as if we have been afloat on the water for weeks on end.

In this comparison, our landing on bright shiny shores will be the day the CDC, our state and federal governments say that it is safe “to go ashore.”  As a leader in any organization, there are some choices that need to be made and they come down to wait until we land, survey the situation, and then make some on the spot decisions for next steps.  Or, we start to list out the possible plans of action, identify some early challenges, determine decision criteria and then enact the best plan upon landing.  While we are still weeks away from reaching the shore, there is still time to figure out how to navigate the seas ahead of us.  We have a small window of time to engage the knowledge holders of our organizations, discuss options and plan for that bright day coming in the near future.

In 1519, upon landing, Cortes famously sunk his ships to ensure that his troops would follow him on his conquest.  This action has been used in leadership examples about having to focus on the road (plan) ahead and not having the crutch of relying on a method of retreating.  To win, you have to move forward.  We do not have the option of burning, sinking or hiding from the future.  However, we should be preparing and looking forward to that day where the proverbial sun rises, we land upon the sandy shores and have the future to stride into.  While we do not know when we be at that point, the time is now to set our sites for that day.  As one of my favorite quotes from Jim Rohn, “It is the set of the sails, not the direction of the wind that determines which way we will go.”  Brighter days lie ahead, so be ready and focus on that sunny future. 

What Day is Today?

I hate to admit this, but I do not always know what day of the week it is.  I find that there are things about the way I think and perceive things that have changed, most likely from being “confined” at home all of the time.  I am sure, in light of this pandemic, we have the makings for a great case study for years to come.  Between time, social interactions and the “new” dress code, life has become different!

When it comes to time, it seems like I am not the only one who feels that time has been distorted, as the people I deal with all seem to have come to refer to the days of the week as today, yesterday and tomorrow.  Occasionally, I have used the term “the other day” only to be corrected that “the other day” was really a week ago from yesterday.  I used to laugh at my retired father when he referred to everyday is a weekend for him.  Now, I am no longer laughing, as day and date confusion seems to have become a reality when you are home almost all of the time, except for a walk to get some fresh air or going to the store.

When my brothers and I were young (yes, many decades ago), like all children of that time period, we played cops and robbers games.  Our getaway vehicle, or squad car, was always our bicycles.  We would zip around the neighborhood playing our games.  40+ years later, I find myself going out to the store dressed similar to how I only imaged I wished I dressed when playing those games.  Now, that bandana has become a fixture on my face when shopping.  I admit, I do not like shopping…FOR ANYTHING.  However, in the age of the pandemic, I look forward to our weekend food shopping.

What ever the day of the week it is, what ever the “new” style is, we will go with the flow for now.  I guess the key is to have good habits, get dressed for the day ahead and set your goals and accomplishments for that specific day.  That way, when the restrictions are removed, life will already be in a good rhythm and no major re-adjustment period will be needed.  In the meantime, make the best of wearing that mask, do not fret over forgetting what day of the week it is and enjoy the time you have to be at home.  One day soon, we will back able to say, “Remember that crazy period in the `20’s?”

The Year of the Plague

דם (Blood), צפרדע (Frogs)…as we were reciting the 10 plagues that Hashem brought upon the land of ancient Egypt during the Passover Seder, it was hard not to relate the words in the Haggadah to the pandemic that has hit 180+ countries.  As we read the words together, I looked up at the Dining Room table where I was seated with Debbie, Gab and Bec.  Last year, as in prior years, we filled the Living Room with the large gathering we have become used to for our first Seder night.  In a matter of a month, the way we handle our day to day activities, gather and communicate has significantly changed.  I never thought we would see the day where reaching out to greet a friend (hand shake, hug) would be shunned because of the potential hazardous impact.  What was once a friendly welcoming gesture is now considered inconsiderate and spurned.

About 24 years ago, my mother was dying of a different potentially deadly affliction – cancer.  I remember going to visit her in the hospital after one of her chemo treatments, where the nurses greeted us at the door and made sure that we put on hospital gowns over our clothes, covered our heads and wore gloves and a mask.  In this case, it was not to protect us, but to protect my mother, as her immune system had taken a temporary hit due to her treatment.  It was not comfortable, nor pleasant, but to visit and spend time together, we all knew what we had to do.  That year, Mom did make it to the Seder, propped up on a couch where she could hear us but was too weak to participate.  That was her last Passover.

We are once again required to wear a mask and gloves, but this time when going out to shop.  We are all practicing social distancing and found new ways to sit around the table to “visit” with out friends and families.  This means that the four of us sat at the festively decorated Dining Room table, with a place for Elijah and my laptop where family and friends joined so that we could all have a Seder together.  With a couple of tweaks, some deletions and a few additions, we were still able to have a fun, fulfilling Seder.  Our Zoom Seder still had group singing, parts for everyone to participate and some goofiness.  This included attempting to pass things between windows (it was magical) and the usual props appearing, just in a newer format.  I guess the lesson here is that we can still persevere, no matter the conditions, to get together and celebrate together. 

Like our ancestors, we will live through this plague to see another day.  We say at the end of each Seder, “Next year in Jerusalem,” this year I added, “Next year we will all be together to celebrate.”  

The Secret Sauce

My Mom had a lot of recipes that she wrote out, some were hand-me downs, others were ones that she picked up along the way.  It is fun to pull them out (when time allows) and to scan them for old favorites (I still cannot find her butterscotch brownies recipe).  And yes, there are recipes that have written out “a pinch of this”, “a dash of that” and a few that have items that are completely illegible.  There was an old recipe for a chicken and noodle dish that we enjoyed, that was never written down which my brothers and I remembered different pieces of.  Yes, my Mother (of blessed memory) seems to have kept some cooking secrets – in other words, the “secret sauce” in the kitchen, stayed with her.  Debbie and I tried to recreate this dish based the input from my brothers and me; we were close but knew something was missing.

The topic of secret sauce came up recently while I was teaching a training course for OneStream.  The class discussed how important training and user acceptance is.  There is an old saying that “confused people do nothing”.  In the business world, this would equate, when implementing new software, that confused people would tend to go back to their old, familiar habits.  I have seen where even with successful implementation (various software) and process improvement initiatives, people are still very reluctant to give up what they feel comfortable with.  This often leads to them pulling out the old spreadsheet to challenge the numbers presented.  While I will agree that during user acceptance testing, these spreadsheets are valuable in proving out new processes and system upgrades, but can be retired once testing is complete.  However, once we move past this, everyone forgets the drawbacks of manual processes – (1) they are manual and time consuming, and, (2) there is a risk for input errors leading to false results. 

Of course, there are the chances that like older recipes, past down through the generations, that all information will not be revealed, causing the old processes to appear suddenly.  I know we have all seen the person who has the printout in the back of their notebook – they crouch down during a meeting, thinking that no one sees them, bend the bottom half of the pages upward, peer down into their secret sauce and then point out that the new ways are wrong.  For most projects, putting in a new system, no matter how complex, is easy when compared to the task of acceptance.  This can take a long time due to people not wanting to step outside of their comfort zones.  Yes, it most likely will lead to better info, more efficient processes and better overall team performance.  This issue is that people have come to rely on what they know, cannot understand if it is not broken why fix it (and sometimes it is broken), and a feeling that they will become less valuable to the company. 

In the volunteer world…yup, it is the same.  Holding onto information, procrastination and throwing out irrelevant facts does help to deter movement.  Now that I am writing this, politics, governments, etc., seem to follow the same pattern.

In a world of food channels, websites and videos, it has become easier to find the recipes (i.e., solutions) more than ever before.  Whether my Mom had hidden any secret sauce from us or not, knowingly or unknowingly, whatever the ingredients, her food always had those special flavors and tastes we remember.  As we all move forward, it is important to remember what we had, keep the positive thoughts, and focus on how we move into the future.

To Be or Not To Be 25 Again

During the Super Bowl, it was great to see the “Ground Hog’s Day” commercial with Bill Murray, which made sense, as both Ground Hog’s Day and the Super Bowl were on the same day.  Besides acting as a reminder to a fun movie, it was great to see the theme revisited with so much fun.  As the week progressed, it did make me think about having the opportunities to do something over, recycle a portion of my life, or just start over again.  Of course, this is merely a mental exercise, but it does make one stop and think about what if we could have a redo?  Would things turn out different or would they be the same?

Juxtaposition this with having a child that just turned 25.  While she comments on the quarter century mark, us older folk remember (although through tinted glass, aka the filters of time) where we were when we were that age.  I actual had a conversation with someone that stated that even though she is ten years older than Gab, she found a huge difference in time.  At 35, she knew where she was in life, where she wants to head and had experienced enough of life to understand things better.  At 25, she remembered not being sure of the future, still trying to “figure things out” and being a bit rudderless.  When I turned 25 (that would have been 1987), I was still living at home, was on my first adult job and was pretty much clueless on my life and where I wanted to go.  So, yeah, I would have to agree with the assessment that I heard.

What about having a chance to go back and do it all over again?  Aside from the fact that I would have my 25-year-old body and all the energy that it would bring, would I really want to go back, even with knowing what I know today?  I have gathered 32 years more of life experience, have a pretty good understanding of where I am, have a direction my life is going, and I have a great wife and family.  I am where I am based on what has happened to me and am comfortable with the results.  Would I want to go back, tamper with my success (and failures)?  To be honest, if I would end up exactly where I am at, it would be fun.  But if not…I cannot fathom a different life, a different spouse, a different family.  I am happy where I am at.  So, while repeating Bill Murray’s day over and over has some measure of fun, I am happy to have this point in life and all it has to offer.  How about you?

Leading and Delegating

As a president of an organization, I have had to ponder two concepts – leadership and delegation.


Oxford Dictionary provides the following definitions:

·         Leadership: “the action of leading a group of people or an organization.”

·         Delegate: “entrust (a task or responsibility) to another person.”

I remember as a young man, looking at various organization’s presidents, that once you reached that position, you were the one everybody had to listen to and the person that dictated every action.  As I got older, I realized that sometimes this is true and other times, not.  In truth, the role does come with the phrase that President Truman stated, “The buck stops here.”  Meaning that all the accountability, responsibility for the success of the organization at the end of the day falls on that person’s shoulders.  Leading means having the ability to know everything that is going on in the organization.  Since my synagogue is a microcosm compared to large entities, this can be an ominous task.  No one person can be involved in everything, make all decisions and action every item.  To attempt this leads to frustration and does not give a feeling of inclusion to the other people involved in leadership or the organization.

At some point I was taught the importance of delegating tasks.  This can become a fine art where you have to learn what to delegate, who to delegate to and how to engage with the person, or persons, involved.  You cannot just push responsibilities onto other people, look the other way, and hope that the tasks required are completed.  This is where relationships need to be developed as you have to be able to work with the people you ask to assist you in achieving goals.  If you delegate, you have to make sure that the person you work with has a vested interest in succeeding with the assignment, someone that you know will involve other like-minded individuals (building a team) and has the ability to communicate what happens.  Not everyone that we involve will work out as expected.

This is where the balance has to be made.  As a leader, you need to set the example, own your position and engage other people.  To do this alone, can lead to becoming a dictator where you build the expectation that you must be included in everything (i.e., managers that need to be on ALL emails), stifle creative suggestions (which all organizations need to thrive and change alongside our broader environments) and push potential help away.  Similarly, reactions where one delegates everything and takes on no responsibility, as this can lead to teams feeling they have no support, lack a broad direction and can lead to a feeling we are in the wild west.  This is the hard part, as a leader you never cede your responsibility, trust the people you ask to help, providing support and guidance, and encourage their creativity.  As General George S. Patton stated, “Don't tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results.”  

In Times of Transition

It is time for a transition.  To modify the phase from the movie “Risky Business,” “Transition happens.”  The Oxford dictionary defines transition as “…the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another.”  I feel like I just went through a transition, now I am preparing for yet another transition and a short way down the road, there will be yet another transition.  With a transition in life, in work, in roles and in attitudes, there seems to be no end to this in sight.

As a child, I remember going to school, playing outside, playing with friends and family mystery car rides.  Yes, we had mystery car rides where our parents would pick out something to do, not tell us and off in the car we would go.  Sometimes it was an amusement park (most of those from that time are gone, like Bertram’s Island), sometimes it was to some ice cream place with an arcade, sometimes it was…I do not even remember.  One time, I swear it is true, we were driving up route 17 and they announced on the radio that the Zeiler Family was out driving on a mystery car ride.  I never figured out how my dad pulled that one off…but I digress.  Our transitions, when we were young, were the BIG EVENTS: changing schools, reaching a religious milestone (in my case, my Bar Mitzvah), or getting a first real job.

In this past year, I feel that I have been involved in many transitions – I started the year transitioning to a new company, to new roles in the company and to different clients (normal in consulting).  We watched and were part of our children’s transition from graduating college, moving back home, to job changes, to a first real job and to other interests.  As president of an organization, I have been part of some small transitions which included changing mindsets, addressing real issues (which, like change, people tend to avoid), opening new doors and within the next six months, transitioning out of this role.  They say life is like a roller coaster, pull the bar down and hang on.  Yup, I can see that.

Transitions happen like a river, forever moving forward and never giving the chance to stand still.  It is important to take advantage of this while you are still able to do so.  As we begin the last few days of 2019 and move forward into the next decade, it is time to plan out the goals and objectives for 2020.  It is a time for transition…for all of us.

Happy New Year!

Annual Give Back Night

How often can you say that you helped others, provided awareness for a good a cause and raised money all at the same time?  While we know that ’tis the season for giving, it is important to remember those who are less fortunate, especially those in a situation not of their own doing. 

Saturday night was the Annual Zeiler Family Give Back Night.  This was our opportunity to help provide awareness for the Center for Hope and Safety, which “…is dedicated to assisting victims, and their children, of domestic violence by turning fear into safety, helplessness into strength, and isolation into hope.”

We met at one of the local malls (there is no shortage of them in Paramus) for our two-hour session.  Our job for the session was to help wrap gifts.  All of the supplies were donated for us to use.  It is right before the holidays and even in the age of cyber buying, the mall still had a good flow of people buying gifts for their loved ones.  For the shoppers, we were there to help them with the holiday task of gift wrapping.  There were siblings shopping for their parents, parents shopping for their children and friends shopping for friends.  Gab helped a little boy who was so excited that he picked out his own gifts to wrap. 

Once we replaced the previous group and were ready to go, there is always that initial moment of whether or not people will come by to have their gifts wrapped.  And come they did.  With their toys, clothes and other gifts. Our services to them were free.  I was excited by the generosity of the season which led most people to make a donation to the Center for Hope and Safety.  That generosity will go directly to help support this important organization to help others in need.

There are many ways to help those in need and many great organizations to support.  Most people are caught up in their lives, working towards making ends meet, and providing a roof over their family’s head.  While it is always great to celebrate (whatever the reason), it is important to remember that there are those who wish to have cause to celebrate, but cannot.  Whatever you do this season, keep in mind those less fortunate, and remember to keep them in your thoughts and prayers, so that they too can hope for a better future.

Holiday Prep

“Deck the halls…”

It is once again that time of the year.  I am not sure why, but this is the time of year we are supposed to be jolly, put on a happy face, and celebrate.  For 11 months, we work hard for this time of year.  Everyone goes on vacation, runs to various parties and wear those crazy sweaters.  Black Friday, Cyber Monday and other selling catch phrases invented for this time of year have the mothballs dusted off of them and are paraded in front of the masses hungry with excitement for this time of year.

I look at my calendar and my time is pretty full for the rest of this year.  Work still has to be done, the synagogue where I am president still has activities and meetings, food still has to be put on the table…you get the picture.  Believe me, I get the enjoyment of holidays, days off and extra family time – those days are listed on the calendar as well as everything else.  From my point of view, I would rather maintain that happy spirit throughout the year instead of saving for a single month.

“…gonna find out if your naughty or nice…”

Pretend it is January 1^st and the entire year lies before you.  You close your eyes, take a deep breath and let your mind drift off into the year ahead.  The images begin to come to you in a flash – you see the things that you want to accomplish, you have a vague understanding of how you are going to get there, and then you open your eyes.  I am pretty sure that at this point, you know if you will be naughty or nice.  15 or 20 days before a jolly being descends with a bag of gifts, the ledgers of life have already recorded you a naughty or nice quotient for the year.

“I’m dreaming of a White Christmas…”                                                          

I am 57 and believe it or not, I do not look forward to having inches of snow dumped on me in December or any other time of the month.  Many years ago, we had the fortunate of taking a family trip to Australia.  We landed in Brisbane on Boxer Day – it was 110 degrees, the thought of dressing up in a beard and a heavy red winter outfit was far from the minds where we landed.  The person that wrote the classic song, White Christmas (Irving Berlin), definitely lived in the northern hemisphere.  I realize that the image of Santa Claus as a large, jolly person coming to every house from the North Pole wearing heavy winter red has become global.   While flying over the equator I hope he has a good A/C onboard his sled.

OK, so there are plenty of contradictions when it comes to the Holiday season.  And, yes, it is fun to have various celebrations for various reasons.  Of course, everyone is nice (it would be even better if this was year-round).  I plan to enjoy the holidays as much as the next person.  Be safe, be smart in your decision, remember that the world does not stop at this time of year (as some might think) and enjoy.  “Christmas comes but once a year,” sang the great B.B. King.  As he continues later in the song, “Let the good times roll.”  Enjoy your Holidays, however you celebrate!

Can You Spot the Leader?

Team Leader, Manager, Counselor, Head Usher, Supervisor, Chairman, Director, Vice President, President, Business Owner.  Here is a list of titles, that also represent roles or positions, where the person who carries that label must be able to work with others, lead, inspire, manage and assume certain responsibilities.  Within different groups or organizations, each of those roles who have different authorizations, capabilities and tasks that fall on the shoulders of that person.  “Why would you want that?” is a question I have heard, whether said directly to me or in regards to others. 

So, you want to be a leader?  That is something that is honorable to aspire towards.  “It looks easy” and “I can do what he/she does” are common phrases I have heard.  John C. Maxwell, leadership expert and author, once wrote that when he first took a leadership role (as a pastor), he thought that he could do what he wanted to and everyone would follow along because he was the leader.  When I was studying for my MBA, I took a management course and the professor made it clear that there are leaders who have a title and leaders who do not.  That was the topic that Robin Sharma, author and leadership expert, explored in his book, “Leading Without a Title.”  Leadership is a term, whether or not you have the title, that is defined by the Oxford Dictionary (from the website Lexico) as “The action of leading a group of people or an organization.”

Can you spot a leader?  Forbes identifies 11  traits of a powerful leader (from a March 22, 2017 posting) as: Having the ability to self-manage, Act Strategically, Being an Effective Communicator, Being Accountable and Responsible, Setting and Achieving Clear Goals, Vision for the Future, Manage Complexity, Fostering Creativity/Innovation, Team Building / Teamwork, Create Lasting Relationships, Ability to Learn.  That is certainly a long list, though it is pretty inclusive of a lot of vital traits.  We all know or have worked for people who have embodied many of these traits.  We all know or have worked with people who have embodied these traits but do not have a title.  As well, we also all know or have worked for people who have the title but none (or few) of the traits.

Do you have what it takes to be a leader?  Look at the list provided by the Forbes article.  It is easy to look in the mirror and see which traits the person staring back at you has.  And be honest with yourself!  Most of the items you might fall short on are learnable through personal development (classes, seminars and books).  Some institutions provide furthering education to learn these traits.  Some are a little more esoteric, such as having a vision for the future.  Another method of learning would be through experience – not everything will be successful, but each failure will teach you something that you can apply next time to become successful.  Remember the list at the top?  Those were some of the titles that I have been labeled with during the course of my life so far.  I still subscribe to the saying that leaders are readers and that to be a leader you have to be open to learn, listen and look for opportunities that benefit all.

Rinse Cycle

I think that most of the time we forget about how awesome our country is.  If you spend time watching or listening to media, all you hear are points of negativity, failure posturing and political condemnation.  It is a rare occasion when the news covers about the beautiful landscapes and type of terrains that exist.  If you were to evaluate our country based on the media, you would potentially have a distorted view. I realize that the prism in which we view the universe in provides us with what we believe to be true, but that does not always mean that is the truth.

This past weekend, Debbie and I had a chance to visit one of the awesome treasures that we have in our country.  We had the opportunity to spend the weekend in Sedona, Arizona – a truly cool place that was grand on many levels.  As we drove through the winding mountain routes (route 89), we saw a gap between the mountains that made us go “Wow!” out loud.  After coming from the Scottsdale / Phoenix area, where these cities were full of people, buildings and noise, the relative quiet, open space and relaxing feeling while standing near the red rock formations was easily impactful on us.  In the short time we had, we explored their tourist area, went off roading on a jeep tour, ate our meals outdoors while looking out at the scenery and found spots for solitude and reflection.  By the time we left, we felt that this was a place to return for a longer period of time.

Under the hustle and bustle of life, where we spend our valuable time striving to make a difference, support our families and champion causes, we sometimes forget to stop and catch our breath.  Yes, I know that I write about this after I actually have had a chance to “press the rinse cycle” on my life, take a brief break and reset my perspective.  This time, we had a chance to view natural wonders and breathe in some fresh, untainted air.  We left our worries behind, stopped thinking about the “daily grind” and enjoyed our precious time together in a really different environment; an environment that was here long before our families arrived on these shores and one that will long outlive our generations to come.  Sometimes, we get caught up in the “BS” that assails our senses and forget that we do truly have a great nation, with awesome places to visit and natural adventures to be experienced.

Sunrise Day Camp, It’s the Best Camp!

Hi everyone!   For a little change, I am writing this week’s blog!  I hope you enjoy it! 

-Gabrielle

The Sunrise Association is the first company to have a day camp that is free of charge for kids with cancer and their siblings.  Throughout the east coast and Israel, there are currently 8 campgrounds. During the year, The Sunrise Association does Sunrise on Wheels, which is when people from Sunrise go into hospitals to hang out and play with kids who are cancer patients.  There are also fundraisers throughout the year to raise money for the association. 

The main jobs of the counselors are to make sure that the kids are safe and that they have fun. Staff members make sure that everything is wiped down and that campers always use hand sanitizer in-between and during activities. Without the amazing staff members, the camp would not be as great.  They always make sure that campers are being included and are given the opportunity to be kids.  The biggest goal of camp is for it to be camp and to give the kids the chance for a normal experience.

For the past 3 summers, I have been fortunate enough to work as the Music Specialist at Sunrise Day Camp in Pearl River. We sing, play musical games, and play on the Music Garden that has been donated to the camp.  While at camp, there are many activities to do other than music.  Campers get to play sports, go rock climbing, go boating, play minigolf, dance, go swimming, do yoga, do drama, create art, and make lanyards.  While these are normal camp activities, these campers are special and would not be able to have this opportunity.  Our camp gives children with cancer and their siblings an opportunity to attend summer camp in a safe, caring environment.

I have met so many counselors and campers who have shown me to live each day to the fullest.  You never know where life will take you, so it is important to live every day as best as you can.  Don’t take anything for granted and enjoy everyone and everything.

On October 20, I am lucky enough to be leading a team at Sunrise Walks, where “We Walk So They Can Soar”. For the past few weeks, my team members have been raising money to give to the Pearl River camp. Please find the website below for more information about the camp and everything that this amazing organization does. 

https://www.sunrise-walks.org/PR/Team/View/113113/Team-Z

Where Were You?

“I remember where I was…” was a comment my mother made.  The reference, for her, was where she was when President Kennedy was shot.  We were living at the time in an apartment in Fort Lee, NJ.  She said that it was surreal because when it was announced, everyone went out into the courtyard, feeling kind of lost but looking for other people to be around, whether they knew them or not.  This was a story that I heard a number of times growing up, generally around the end of November near the anniversary of the shooting of our 35^th President.  I still remember her saying that and never really understood it.

On September 11, 2001, two planes brought down both of the World Trade Center towers.  I remember when I heard about it.  I was at a client in Bristol, Virginia, walking through the lunch room and heading into a meeting.  There was a small television where they were just announcing the breaking news that a plane just hit the Trade Center.  At the time, I was thinking that this happened before when a plane hit the Empire State Building in 1945.  A short time later, someone came into the meeting to tell us that the second tower was hit and the Towers collapsed.  I immediately called home and my family was safe.  My brother was working downtown in one of the nearby Trade Center Buildings.  I called his cell phone – there was no answer.  I immediately called Debbie, who could not contact him either, as the phones were out.  There was no way of knowing if he was safe or not.  My wife called a short time later and told me she spoke to his girlfriend.  My brother was in Delaware playing golf with some clients.  I cannot tell you how relieved I was.

We were lucky.  We all know people that were not so lucky and lost a loved one, knew someone that was lucky to not be in the building at the time or were involved in the cleanup.  The greater New York area was greatly impacted.  All plane travel was cancelled.  If I was not already at a hotel, I would not have been able to get room, as everyone was frantically driving north to get home.  I drove home a few days later and came home to people that were afraid to travel, go to New York and cross bridges.  A few days later, I needed to be in Atlanta for a meeting.  The airports had re-opened, were empty and crawling with military personnel for protection.  Debbie was not happy that I had to travel, but it was safe and easy.  That flight was the last time I would be able to check-in at the gate.  The world had changed, air travel would never be the same and an attack on US soil became real.  Last week was the 9/11 anniversary and we still share where we were and what we were doing.  I now understood why my mother always told her story of where she was.

Procrastination as a Strategy

I procrastinated!  My father was great at pointing out when I procrastinated while growing up.  I am sure there were other adjectives used, but that is the one that always stuck out.  “But I was…” would be the start to my usual response.  “Wayne,” he would start, “I do not want hear any excuses…” Stubbornly, I would repeat this pattern (I did not like being told what I can and cannot do).  While my afternoons were spent watching classics, like Bugs Bunny and the Three Stooges, I probably would have been better served reading the classics instead of watching the “classics.”  While I was sitting there laughing, absolutely nothing was happening, leading to procrastinating on homework, etc.  Reading for school – nah, that never happened.  My dad even got called in for a conference due to late or no book reports being handed in (fourth grade).  Needless to say, he was not happy.

That was then, this is now.  Truth be told, as we got older, life get busier.  Marriage, children, and homes are all great things that occur in our lives that should be celebrated and enjoyed in their own right.  These activities easily fill our time and keep us busy.  We become busy doing this, busy doing that, busy running here and busy running there.   This causes us to have difficulty in accomplishing things.  At the end of the day, we are tired and sometimes wonder what we accomplished.  I remember many of these days – long fun days with my family, good quality time, but little accomplished.  The busier we are, the more we tend to procrastinate due to time constraint…or so we lead ourselves to believe.  Truth is, being busy does not equal being productive.  It took me years to realize this.  I am no longer that child watching the “classics” but now the adult and can no longer make excuses for my procrastination and blame my time loss on others.

OK, now that I have patted myself on the back and complimented my emergence as an adult, that does not mean procrastination has disappeared.  If I sit here and prioritize my tasks, I know what I can do and what has to be held off.  Many time times, I will delay addressing something that I really do not want to do (that would be procrastinating).  I know I am doing this up front and can communicate what I am doing.   Then there are times where an “event” occurs and the choice is to do a knee jerk reaction.  Under the emotional stress and strain of situation, people react instead of thinking level-headed.  In this case, procrastination is a strategy.  By dragging my heels, the situation can calm down and clear-headed decisions can be made.  While I am still a big Three Stooges fan, watching them are no longer a priority, however, they are still a pleasant distraction when I need something to help me procrastinate.

The Emperor has New Clothes?

We are all familiar with the saying, “Clothes Makes the man.”  There was a point in my life where I did my best to prove this wrong - I dressed like a slob and really did not care about how I looked.  I really believed that appearances did not matter and that it was the person behind the façade that counted.  I think that the nadir of this thought hit me when I was coming home from college senior year wearing a crumpled dashiki, had longish unkempt hair and wore ripped jeans.  It was OK that I was wearing them as long as no one saw me, but where I faltered was in deciding to visit my dad who was the General Manager of a spice and seasoning plant at his place of business while in this dress.  I often stopped on the way home but never looking like this.  Aghast, my dad pulled me into his office, let me know how he felt, then booted me out of the place.

His reason?  I was an embarrassment to him and as his son, my look was a poor reflection on him.  “But how I look should not matter…”  No matter what argument I could have mounted, he was right and I was wrong.  And while in many ways I still feel the same, the truth is our first impressions are done visually, before we even open our mouth.  Fast forward many years and I am consulting in a manufacturing plant, where jeans and tee shirts were the norm.  I wore a collared shirt and slacks every day – I wanted to give off a professional appearance, especially since I was hired as “the professional.”  Fast forward to the current day where I have opportunities to work from home.  I will still wear a collared shirt and long pants, sometimes slacks, sometimes jeans, but never shorts.  No one will see me, but I have come to feel that while I am “on the clock”, I need to be in the proper apparel to achieve the right mindset.  Dressing appropriately not only helps on a first appearance but how I feel about myself.

Do not get me wrong, I am still a jeans and tee shirt person; it is just that I have learned the time and place for when and how to dress.  The accompanying picture is from a recent wedding.  I find that on occasion, it is nice for us to “dress up” and look good.  Even at 56, dressing up like this makes me feel like an adult!  So, do clothes make the man?  In doing a little research, it ends up that this phase, or derivations, has been around since the time of Homer.  The version most well-known comes from Mark Twain, where the full quote is, “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”  I think that I will stick with the clothes and continue to work towards presenting a better, complete package.

Be The Example

I have finally done it!  Or, to put it better, I have finally done it and realized it as I woke up this morning.  Two weeks ago, I posted my 300^th blog (242^nd on LinkedIn).  The moment passed like any other moment, under the usual process and without fanfare.  How did I notice?  About a month or two ago, I noticed that I was getting close, but was more focused on the writing than the number itself.  However, a milestone is a milestone, no matter if it is accompanied with a brass band (or in my case a jam band) or tumbleweed rolling across the quiet plains.  As a weekly article, there are times where I think about throwing in the towel, but am always happy that I kept going.

Like anything we do, we have a choice to either dip our big toe into the water to test the temperature or dive in head first.  When we dip our toe in, we are hedging against ourselves prepared for the easy out if “all the conditions” do not meet our needs.  When we dive in, we are truly committed to the action and there is no other option but to move forward.  Life is filled with these choices – sometimes on a frequent basis and other times not so frequently.  We are all guilty of this. 

About 10 years ago, while looking for a way to bring in some additional money, I entered the world of Network Marketing, also known as Multi-level Marketing.  The concept interested me in that you were an independent business owner (entrepreneur) within a business.  Taking a dip or diving in?  This was a dip; I learned that “selling”, no matter what the label it was given, was not my forte and I was not willing to put my body and soul into this venture.  This was a good lesson and I did learn the importance of personal ongoing development.

Playing music is another great example.  I started with the accordion when I was nine years old.  Almost 48 years later, I might only occasionally pull out the accordion, but in that time learned the saxophone, clarinet, guitar, banjo and currently play the keyboards in two bands.  There are many people who I know and meet that tell me that they wished they still played.  For them, it was a dip, but for me and the people I play with, it was a dive.  I learned that if you enjoy something, it is far easier to keep doing it. 

Like with the previous idea, the same with reading, exercising and food choices.  The key is to be able to define what success means so that one’s goals are attainable, realistic and meaningful.  As the famous Yoda quote goes, “Do or do not, there is no try.”  After over 300 articles spanning 6 years, I guess I can say this was more than just sticking my toe in the water.  Even if this does not dent the universe, cause any great ripple in society or provide unusual pronouncements, this is something that I can point to that says if you put your mind to it, you can do it.  Sometimes being that example might provide someone else the inspiration to do, instead of to try.

Facing Our Day Head On, No Matter What We See In Front of Us

Wouldn’t it be great to wake up one morning and have everything go your way or to have an idea, desire or goal to automatically manifest itself?  On top of this, there would be no barriers or push backs to success.  Although this sounds wonderful, a few issues come to mind: no lessons will be learned and there will be no opportunities to improve upon.

In the classic television show, The Twilight Zone, there is an episode called, “A Nice Place to Visit.”  In the story, the main character, Rocky, is greeted by a man named Pip (played by Sebastian Cabot) who informs Rocky that his job is to provide whatever the man desired.  As the main character later realizes, getting everything you want can be boring because you do not have to do anything to get what you want.  This is a great episode with a typical Rod Serling twist.  One of the “lessons” in this story is that if we are handed everything on a silver platter and we have not put out any effort, life does not have meaning.  We need to have challenges in our lives, goals to accomplish and be active in pursuing our dreams.  To attain these, it is almost a guarantee that barriers pop up along the way to either distract us or prohibit our progress, causing things to not go our way. 

There is the old Yiddish saying, “Mench tracht un gut lached” (Man plans / thinks and G-d laughs).  The related phase is “The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray.”  Basically, no matter what we do, there is a chance that something we did not account for, something beyond our control, or something was missed when setting out to do things.  Our options are to ignore, keep moving on, or address it head on.  While ignoring seems like a valid option, sticking one’s head in the sand only means that when you come up for air, the issue is still staring you in the face.  Keeping on moving forward, while seeming to make sense, could work out.  However, like the piece of toilet paper stuck to your shoe, that related issue might follow you wherever you go.  The best solution is to address it head on.  Most of the time, we do not want to do this – this means we are facing our fears, might have to put ourselves in an uncomfortable situation and deal with the unexpected.  But once we face these head on, we find ourselves back on track and have gained something positive in the process.

If we woke up every morning and everything went our way, wouldn’t that be great?  We would never have the opportunity to learn, we would never have the chance for personal development, we would never face our challenges and would never gain the benefits that come with personal achievements.  As great as the idea seems, I will gladly face the day head on, embrace the unexpected and enjoy whatever comes my way.