Be The Example

I have finally done it!  Or, to put it better, I have finally done it and realized it as I woke up this morning.  Two weeks ago, I posted my 300^th blog (242^nd on LinkedIn).  The moment passed like any other moment, under the usual process and without fanfare.  How did I notice?  About a month or two ago, I noticed that I was getting close, but was more focused on the writing than the number itself.  However, a milestone is a milestone, no matter if it is accompanied with a brass band (or in my case a jam band) or tumbleweed rolling across the quiet plains.  As a weekly article, there are times where I think about throwing in the towel, but am always happy that I kept going.

Like anything we do, we have a choice to either dip our big toe into the water to test the temperature or dive in head first.  When we dip our toe in, we are hedging against ourselves prepared for the easy out if “all the conditions” do not meet our needs.  When we dive in, we are truly committed to the action and there is no other option but to move forward.  Life is filled with these choices – sometimes on a frequent basis and other times not so frequently.  We are all guilty of this. 

About 10 years ago, while looking for a way to bring in some additional money, I entered the world of Network Marketing, also known as Multi-level Marketing.  The concept interested me in that you were an independent business owner (entrepreneur) within a business.  Taking a dip or diving in?  This was a dip; I learned that “selling”, no matter what the label it was given, was not my forte and I was not willing to put my body and soul into this venture.  This was a good lesson and I did learn the importance of personal ongoing development.

Playing music is another great example.  I started with the accordion when I was nine years old.  Almost 48 years later, I might only occasionally pull out the accordion, but in that time learned the saxophone, clarinet, guitar, banjo and currently play the keyboards in two bands.  There are many people who I know and meet that tell me that they wished they still played.  For them, it was a dip, but for me and the people I play with, it was a dive.  I learned that if you enjoy something, it is far easier to keep doing it. 

Like with the previous idea, the same with reading, exercising and food choices.  The key is to be able to define what success means so that one’s goals are attainable, realistic and meaningful.  As the famous Yoda quote goes, “Do or do not, there is no try.”  After over 300 articles spanning 6 years, I guess I can say this was more than just sticking my toe in the water.  Even if this does not dent the universe, cause any great ripple in society or provide unusual pronouncements, this is something that I can point to that says if you put your mind to it, you can do it.  Sometimes being that example might provide someone else the inspiration to do, instead of to try.

Facing Our Day Head On, No Matter What We See In Front of Us

Wouldn’t it be great to wake up one morning and have everything go your way or to have an idea, desire or goal to automatically manifest itself?  On top of this, there would be no barriers or push backs to success.  Although this sounds wonderful, a few issues come to mind: no lessons will be learned and there will be no opportunities to improve upon.

In the classic television show, The Twilight Zone, there is an episode called, “A Nice Place to Visit.”  In the story, the main character, Rocky, is greeted by a man named Pip (played by Sebastian Cabot) who informs Rocky that his job is to provide whatever the man desired.  As the main character later realizes, getting everything you want can be boring because you do not have to do anything to get what you want.  This is a great episode with a typical Rod Serling twist.  One of the “lessons” in this story is that if we are handed everything on a silver platter and we have not put out any effort, life does not have meaning.  We need to have challenges in our lives, goals to accomplish and be active in pursuing our dreams.  To attain these, it is almost a guarantee that barriers pop up along the way to either distract us or prohibit our progress, causing things to not go our way. 

There is the old Yiddish saying, “Mench tracht un gut lached” (Man plans / thinks and G-d laughs).  The related phase is “The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray.”  Basically, no matter what we do, there is a chance that something we did not account for, something beyond our control, or something was missed when setting out to do things.  Our options are to ignore, keep moving on, or address it head on.  While ignoring seems like a valid option, sticking one’s head in the sand only means that when you come up for air, the issue is still staring you in the face.  Keeping on moving forward, while seeming to make sense, could work out.  However, like the piece of toilet paper stuck to your shoe, that related issue might follow you wherever you go.  The best solution is to address it head on.  Most of the time, we do not want to do this – this means we are facing our fears, might have to put ourselves in an uncomfortable situation and deal with the unexpected.  But once we face these head on, we find ourselves back on track and have gained something positive in the process.

If we woke up every morning and everything went our way, wouldn’t that be great?  We would never have the opportunity to learn, we would never have the chance for personal development, we would never face our challenges and would never gain the benefits that come with personal achievements.  As great as the idea seems, I will gladly face the day head on, embrace the unexpected and enjoy whatever comes my way.

Old Men Rocking

For Debbie and me, this has been a bonanza year for seeing musicians we always wanted to see and bands we never saw before.  OK – it was more like watching a series of senior citizen acts.  But I have to tell you, for people ranging in age from late 60’s into their 80’s, these people still have it.

This last week, I saw two concerts (one without Debbie) that were from the same era and influential in their own ways.  The first one, which I saw with my old friend Marty (yes, knowing people 40 years makes them old friends), was Herb Alert.  While he no longer tours with the Tijuana Brass, he has a great combo of jazz musicians and tours with his wife (who sang with Sergio Mendez and Brazil 66).  At 84, he still walks confidently onto the stage and still plays well.  He did a medley or two covering the hits from the Tijuana Brass and ventured off onto the songs he wanted to play and improvise on.  As a multi-Grammy winner (including one in 2013 for best instrumental album), he was filling stadiums in the 1960’s, had hit records against the era of The Beatles and had an even bigger impact by being the “A” in highly successful record label, A&M.

The second concert, which I saw with Debbie, was one of her all-time favorite bands – The Rolling Stones.  It is not unusual for musicians, as they age, to slow down their music, be more efficient in their approach and potentially relax more on stage.  Later in his career, B.B. King sat while he played.  I saw Jerry Lee Lewis play years ago when he was in his 50’s and Great Balls of Fire was played as a ballad.  At 76 and having undergone heart surgery earlier this year, Mick Jagger still runs, struts and has “the moves like Jagger.”  The rest of the band still cranks out the Rock and Roll and keeps a pace rivaling back to their younger years.  Their approach to music, performing and being labeled “The World’s Greatest Rock and Roll Band,” has set the standard for what defines a Rock musician.  And as 55+ year veterans, it is now what one can still do and what one can enjoy, no matter how old you get.

Aside from great music played by legendary musicians, what was my take away from the past week?  Herb Alpert commented that in most cases, people do not remember the songs played, but the feeling that they get after going to a concert.  In both cases:

·         They have been popular acts for as long as I have been on this planet. 

·         As senior citizens, they both still pursue their passions

·         They are all living life to the fullest, even into the 80’s, and can still be relevant

·         In the Stones case, adversity and illness has not stopped them from doing what they enjoy

It is easiest to reach a point in one’s life and “retire” from our passions, our dreams and our desires.  The “senior” musicians I saw showed the impact of overcoming roadblocks, working towards a healthy lifestyle and striving to be at your peak at whatever point you are at in your life.  They make no excuses for going out and living each and every day to their fullest.

On Being President

I have to confess – being a president of an organization is not easy.  Keep in mind the plaque that Harry S Truman used to display, “The buck stops here.”  When things go well, it is great: you are happy to point out those who achieved, there is a sense of pride in the group that you are leading, a feeling that you can accomplish anything and a general aura of happiness.  When things go less than well, it is not so great: there is no one else to blame, there is a feeling of the weight of the world on your shoulders, the thoughts swirling in your head that you backed yourself into a corner and a general feeling of disappointment.  In either case, you still have to go out with a smile on, say the words to encourage others to attain their best and continue to strive for goals and objectives.  The role comes with no set hours, no physical office and plenty of opinions.

OK, I framed this as being the president of the Jewish Community Center of Paramus / Congregation Beth Tikvah.  I could have swapped out the word president for leader…or head of household…or manager…or any other leadership title.  Sure – the size of the group / organization, the number of people involved, the magnitude of the decisions are different, there is a varying level of stress related to them and the number of eyes that watch your every move differ; it is still the case where others look to you to…lead.  While all leaders have different personalities, different methods and different ways of relating, the role is anything but passive.  This is an active role, where you need to be on your best game most of the time.  As a parent, you have to lead your family in life, teach your children the virtues that will help them in their lives and manage a household.  Any leadership role has a component of guiding others, providing some form of education and management.  In all related situations, it is how you react, how you handle yourself and how you communicate to others that matters.

I was once taught that good leaders are in the front of the group that they lead (yes, like they sing in Peter Pan, “we’re following the leader…”), rather than standing in the back and dictating where everyone should go.  The importance is doing, as most people observe by watching what others do and how they react.  There is the story about Mahatma Gandhi, where a mother brings her son to the famous and says, “Can you tell my son to not eat sweets.”  Gandhi looked at the boy and said to the mother come back next week.  The following week, the mother did as she was instructed and once again stood before this great man and says, “Can you tell my son to not eat sweets.”  Gandhi looked at the boy and told him to stop eating sweets.  Dumbfounded, the mother asks why he could not say that last; to which Gandhi replied, “Last week, I was eating sweets.”  The lesson is simple, never ask someone to do something that you yourself are not willing to do nor have not done before.  Leaders lead.

Vince Lombardi said, “Leaders are made, they are not born. They are made by hard effort, which is the price all of us must pay to achieve any goal that is worthwhile!”  He is right – there is a lot of hard work that happens.  There was hard work prior to taking on the role.  There is hard work that is on-going.  There is still hard work ahead.  The time spent reading, learning and developing relationships and discussing ideas set the groundwork.  Continuing to paint visions, continuing to build relationships and constantly re-evaluating and learning from every action / reaction helps us to learn from the past to move forward.  This has been a learning experience and has taken many more hours than I would have thought.  As I have reached the end of my first year and started the second year, I am happy with the journey, thankful for my family and their support, appreciative for the help / advice of many friends (old and new) and truly happy for the community which I, for a temporary point in time, have been given leadership.  It is truly about the communities we live in.  Helen Keller said it well when she said, “Alone, we can do so little; together, we can do so much.”