2020 Recap – Meeting Goals

We can all breathe a sigh of relief – 2020 is now over and in the books. This certainly has been a year that can be named after the Clint Eastwood classic, “The Good, The Bad and the Ugly.” We have seen it all, lived to survive it, seen good people fall to the pandemic, watched a crazy political season (with the related wacky news media) and have still strived to accomplish something. Each year, we start off listing out the goals and objectives for the upcoming 12 months.  However, 2020 saw many people rip out that page in the book, crumple the paper up and toss it in the garbage.  Let’s face it, I could have written out the same thing last year in regards to 2019 with removing the pandemic reference.  Truth is, there were more challenges in 2020 than in prior years…but, as a challenge, they should still be met heads on and met face-to-face. As James Allen stated so well, “Adversity does not build character, it reveals it.”

One benefit from this year due to self-quarantining was the ability to reflect (“The Good, the Bad and the Ugly”).  Most people do not like to sit and focus on themselves, as it can be uncomfortable to find out one might learn about themselves. However, self-reflection is key to understanding where you are in your life, finding opportunities for continued personal development and a measurement of how you are proceeding. As Aristotle put it, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” We have had plenty of time for this type of activity and it looks like we will start off 2021 with the same chances to repeat.

Another benefit, for Debbie and me, was having our daughters still living with us. This year was an opportunity to enjoy our family in a way we would have otherwise not had the chance to do. The past months have given us time to learn more about each other (“The Good, the Bad and the Ugly”) and, honestly, come to find that we are able to survive and live together in peace and harmony. There was the occasion recently where I had a commitment and felt bad that I would miss eating dinner with my family. “After 9 months of eating every dinner together, you can miss one dinner,” was the response I got. As we managed together, it was good to have this time to remember once the girls move out and live their own lives.

As Mahatma Gandhi stated, “I cried because I had no shoes, then I met a man who had no feet.”  We have to continually remind ourselves that no matter how bad we have it, someone else has it worse off. Helping those in need is always a way to focus on what we have, as we give a helping hand to relieve other’s true misfortunes. Being heavily involved in my synagogue, it is a wonderful feeling to see the generosity displayed by the congregation and others in reaching out in many ways, providing food, toys, donations (time and money) and other ways to help out.

While we all hope that 2021 is a better year than 2020, this is a wish we should have each year. Let’s face it, I could have written out the same thing last year in regards to 2020 or next year relating to 2022, with the pandemic removed from our lives. Here’s to the good from 2020 and the good for 2021!

A High Holy Day Like No Other

 

Every year, we gather to bring in the Jewish New Year, where part of the liturgy talks about opening up the “Book of Life” on Rosh Hashana, atoning for one’s sins on Yom Kippur, and being inscribed in the Book of Life for another year.  We gather together in prayer, eat heartily together, fast together and chow down on bagels, lox, whitefish, etc., to close out this period in the calendar.  This year, the play book was placed in storage, a scramble occurred on what to do and new methods needed to be introduced.

Now, I would not claim to be a very religious person.  However, this is the one time of the year where, during the High Holy Days, I refrain from watching television, writing, using the phone and turning on my computer.  These are supposed to be days of reflection and, as the holiest days on the Jewish calendar, should not be taken lightly.  I have previously written about how little I go out, conducting work and synagogue business from my office in the basement.  We provided limited attendance at our services this year, staying well below the CDC and state guidelines.  Truth is, we did not have a rush for tickets to be in-person at services.  This year, we broke the mold – we provided a livestream through a professional company.

Being involved in the process and volunteering to help monitor, this meant that I needed my computer on, which I attached to my television, to watch the services.  My phone was on so that I could text with a select group helping out and communicate with the production company.  The only thing that I did not do was write.  Instead of being a congregant at the services, I was part of the team bringing this new approach to life.  I joked that if one year ago I had said to the congregation, “Next year, we are binging this to via livestream,” they all would have laughed at me.  How much difference a year can make.

Based on the current numbers, there is the potential that we will be dealing with this pandemic for a while.  There is no way to tell what that will mean, but it is here for the meantime.  We all hope that by this time next year, we can reminisce about the challenges of 2020.  One thing is certain, what we learn today will be the lessons we will have to go forward with.

Steppin' Out

 

I do not get out much.  Since March, I have written about the minimal times that I have been out, the circles that I have drawn around myself and the diligence to remain safe.  The truth is, while my comfort zone is primarily my house, that does not mean I do not yearn to go out and do the things that we used to do.  I have commented that I would love to get in the car and drive somewhere for vacation, but I have no desire to eat in a hotel, when half the fun of vacation is going and doing what you want in the moment that you want to do it. 

Last week, cabin fever was reaching a peak.  Debbie suggested that I come up with something that I would like to do.  What we really needed was a change of scenery, something outside our usual travelling (i.e., the supermarket), and something to feel good and safe about.  We wanted to go someplace outside and to get some exercise.  After a little research, we found the perfect location.  We found a historical pedestrian walkway over the Hudson River where the walkway is a converted railroad bridge.  The two of us gathered our supplies (snacks, drinks, toiletries, etc.), hopped into the car and off we went.  After the past five months of barely leaving my house, I was travelling outside the county and crossing the state border.  Nothing too hair raising, but this felt like a big step.  And who better to have an adventure with than my wife!

It was a great day to take a drive.  The sun was out and driving up the NY turnpike was enough to make the trip worthwhile.  We followed the Hudson River north until we crossed over the Mid-Hudson Bridge.  Looking off to the left, we could see the “Walkway over the Hudson”, our destination.  We arrived at the half full parking lot, donned our masks, grabbed our drinks and went off.  I was nervous at first, until I noticed that everyone maintained a social distance from the other walkers.  Everyone had masks with them, though took them off while walking.  We reached the far side of the bridge, then walked through the streets of Poughkeepsie to have a chance to walk across the Mid-Hudson Bridge.  This bridge was empty.  Then we found something really cool and unexpected; The composer, Joseph Bertolozzi, recorded the sound of the bridge to create music.  Along the walk are stations that explain his process and present this unique musical experience. 

When we returned to our car, we realized that this was exactly what the doctor ordered.  We had a safe mini-adventure.  Even though we thought about finding a place to get a drink, we played it safe and realized that we could pick up a drink from a drive through and then drive home.  It was a great day!  OK, all we really did was go to a different location for a walk, but a change of location, exercise, a sunny day and walking hand-in-hand with my wife…it was worth “Steppin’ out, with my baby.” *

 

* Music from Irving Berlin played in my head…

A Minor Milestone

I know that nobody will ever mistake me for a bodybuilder, an athlete, nor a sports-minded individual.  I am good with that and I am not about to completely change what I do.  However, it is nice to note that in a small accomplishment, I have reached a minor milestone, but one that I continue to keep pushing forward on.  I am talking only about exercising in my own home.

Over the course of my life, there have been many times where I considered exercising or doing any kind of physical activities.  My parents used to tell me that when I was young, I used to like to run.  I am not sure what happened…at some point I found myself in the section of clothes for “chubby” boys.  Because of my weight gain, I became a couch potato.  I did join soccer around that time, but I refused to run.  Needless to say, bad habits began to build.  At some point in high school, I had a growth spurt and my weight readjusted; the same weight was now on a taller body.  I liked playing basketball and a friend said we should try out for the High School team.  When I found out it included running, I did not even try out.  I had no confidence in myself.  Having to go to the gym where my peers would be weight lifting?  My stick arms and me bowed out, afraid to appear weak and wimpy (forget the image of a bespectacled band geek).

As I got older, I played pick up basketball with friends.  I was still afraid of the gym until Debbie started to go.  I went and realized that I was not the only “weak” one there.  I had reached a point in my life where I started to realize the value of exercise – ANY TYPE of exercise.  After many fits and starts, excuses on traveling and all other made up barriers, I finally found an app that had a variety of options.  I realized that I did not have to run, lift weights or take on other challenges.  After one or two false starts, I have now exercised for 96 straight weeks and have just passed the 900^th exercise.  If I miss a week, I go back to zero.  That ended up being a strong motivator.  I now exercise 4 to 5 times a week, including stretching or doing yoga.  I know that I am not going to break any records, look like Mr. America or run a marathon.  However, by being diligent and setting some goals, I am striving to be healthier and adhere to healthier habits.  Yes, it takes time and effort, but at the end of the day, I feel better about myself and what I have been doing.

To Be or Not To Be 25 Again

During the Super Bowl, it was great to see the “Ground Hog’s Day” commercial with Bill Murray, which made sense, as both Ground Hog’s Day and the Super Bowl were on the same day.  Besides acting as a reminder to a fun movie, it was great to see the theme revisited with so much fun.  As the week progressed, it did make me think about having the opportunities to do something over, recycle a portion of my life, or just start over again.  Of course, this is merely a mental exercise, but it does make one stop and think about what if we could have a redo?  Would things turn out different or would they be the same?

Juxtaposition this with having a child that just turned 25.  While she comments on the quarter century mark, us older folk remember (although through tinted glass, aka the filters of time) where we were when we were that age.  I actual had a conversation with someone that stated that even though she is ten years older than Gab, she found a huge difference in time.  At 35, she knew where she was in life, where she wants to head and had experienced enough of life to understand things better.  At 25, she remembered not being sure of the future, still trying to “figure things out” and being a bit rudderless.  When I turned 25 (that would have been 1987), I was still living at home, was on my first adult job and was pretty much clueless on my life and where I wanted to go.  So, yeah, I would have to agree with the assessment that I heard.

What about having a chance to go back and do it all over again?  Aside from the fact that I would have my 25-year-old body and all the energy that it would bring, would I really want to go back, even with knowing what I know today?  I have gathered 32 years more of life experience, have a pretty good understanding of where I am, have a direction my life is going, and I have a great wife and family.  I am where I am based on what has happened to me and am comfortable with the results.  Would I want to go back, tamper with my success (and failures)?  To be honest, if I would end up exactly where I am at, it would be fun.  But if not…I cannot fathom a different life, a different spouse, a different family.  I am happy where I am at.  So, while repeating Bill Murray’s day over and over has some measure of fun, I am happy to have this point in life and all it has to offer.  How about you?

Plan the Weekend?

It is funny to think that our weekends can be as busy, or busier, than our weekdays!  Recently, I was reminded that the weekends are the perfect time to rest and prepare for the week ahead – a time to sleep, plan and line up our Mondays through Fridays.  At my first job, the husband of the company owner’s secretary owned the bar across the street where we all met after work on Friday.  This led me to feel that the weekends began the moment I stopped working on Friday, popped a few beverages, rested / relaxed and kind of went with the flow.  Do you remember those carefree days?  Those years do not last long, as you marry, start a family, build a household and grow within your community. 

As my life became full of commitments and responsibilities, I found the following questions come to mind:

·         Do I really have the needed downtime, or do I need to plan the time for it?

·         Do I have time to prepare for the week, or do I need to plan the time for it?

·         Do I have time to handle chores / responsibilities, or do I need to plan the time for it?

·         Do I have time to socialize on the weekend, or do I need to plan the time for it?

Based on a fully scheduled week, I began to realize that the second half of the above questions were a common thread – I needed to plan for my non-work time to ensure that my “down time” was used wisely.

While I agree on the importance of having time off from the hustle and bustle of the week, I have found that I have to schedule precious downtime on the weekends to ensure that I have the time to sit, relax and think about other things in my life.  Last weekend was one of the few times that I had actual time to take a nap (which I still like to do when possible), watch something funny on TV (Impractical Jokers, so I was guaranteed to laugh), catch up on chores and spend some needed family time.  While it was nice and it provided the time to do nothing, I have to admit, I do like knowing what is next and, for me, doing nothing gets boring pretty quickly (which could lead to additional naps and no productivity).  Yes, I was the kid who did not like sitting still and liked to have an activity in front of me.  I guess some things never change…

Busy v Productivity

I have been hearing the word “busy” thrown around a lot lately.  It seems as if this word is very over used, whether I am hearing the word in general conversations, related to work, regarding personal lives, etc.  “You are so busy.”  “I am so busy that I do not have time for…”  “I like to keep busy.”  “They are really keeping me busy.”  I am sure that you can add a phrase or two to this list.  I do remember when I first started working, the term “busy work” was used.  This was not used as a positive term and signified giving somebody work so that they were occupied – a fancy phrase for shuffling paper. 

Does being busy mean that there is some type of result or output?  Or does “busy” mean the “busy work” of my past?  I decided that I should check with the dictionary and get a definition for the word “busy”.  Merriam-Webster defines “busy” as “engaged in action…full of activity.”  OK – between working fulltime, being president of a synagogue, being involved in my family, music, social life, etc., I can easily say that I fit the definition for “busy”.  Earlier in my career, I remember working with people who worked 9 to 5, knew the nightly television schedule, slept late on weekends and seemed to have no free time.  They said they were too busy for anything else.  This was while I was working fulltime, going to school at night and planning a wedding – who had time for television every night?

A number of years ago, I was introduced at work to Agile project management.  Not to go into details, but one of the methods they taught us was to set two-week goals and define the tasks that you can complete within that timeframe.  2 weeks = 80 working hours – time for meetings – time for “fire drills”.  That means that one’s productive time is probably closer to 50 hours a week.  I used to sit in the planning session and the participants would minimize the time for each task and load up the activities; in other words, they wanted to look busy.  The problem is that nothing would finish and they were not productive.

Merriam-Webster’s definition of “productive” is “Yielding results, benefits or profit.”

There is the old saying in geometry, all squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares.  The basic definition of a rectangle is that opposite sides are parallel, the same length and it has only right angles.  A square’s definition is the same, with the only difference that the length of all sides is the same; so, by definition all squares are rectangles.  Using the same thinking, productive people can be busy, but not all busy people are productive.  So, if I go back to my busy list – am I being productive? 

·         Fulltime Work – Am I adding value to the company I work for and my clients?

·         Synagogue President – Are there results / new initiatives generated?

·         Family – Is the time spent together meaningful (quality over quantity) and will create lasting memories?

These are the questions that we all should be asking to make sure that we all live up to the potentials that we have each been given in order to best utilize our time while walking this planet (or any future planet).  I am thinking that we should minimize our use of the word “busy” and increase the use of the word “productive”.  This way, when someone talks about their output, we know that they are filling their time meaningfully and not just shuffling paper.

New Year 5780

It is once again that time of year where we wish our friends and family a sweet New Year.  It is also that time of the year, once again, where we have the opportunity to take stock in what we have accomplished, to assess the goals that have fallen short and to think about where we need to be in the upcoming year.  Some years I find that things go as planned, other years I am off the mark.  The years where things go well, I look forward to review how I did.  The other years, I look towards the review less excited but know that to get better in the future I have to go through with it.  Either way, it is that time of year.

This past year, 5779, was one of the good years!  On the personal front, Bec has graduated from college and I am now proud of both of my working girls.  Debbie and I had a great year together, working together as a couple, being supportive best friends and enjoying facing life together.  On the professional front, I have successfully changed jobs, shifting back into the consulting world and became an authorized trainer.  On the volunteer front, I am still the president of my synagogue, where I think we made a small dent in their universe and have worked towards changing peoples’ mindset.  The year was productive! 

One thing is certain – We each need to measure our successes on our own merit, our own goals and our own lives.  We are each our own person and must remember that as we review our year, we look at it through our own eyes, through our abilities and our desires.  It is easy to fall into the trap of, “I did not do as good as so-and-so,” “How come so-and-so got X while I did not,” and “I should have done, like so-and-so.”  As we look towards the next year, we should set our sights on the things we wish to accomplish, the help we wish to provide to others and the personal growth we wish to develop. 

Choose your path wisely, set reasonable goals and be diligent in following the path in front of you.

Here’s to a Meaningful, Happy, Healthy and Prosperous 5780!

FOOD!

Eating healthy is a choice.  Let’s face it, if you watch television, even for a minimal amount of time, you are bound to catch a commercial on some yummy looking food.  Many times, when you see that food in real life, it does not look the same and does not always taste like they led you to believe.  Even those nice “tall” looking sandwiches, when they are placed in front of have the same ingredients but some how look flat and less appetizing.  It is a choice – and a few years ago, I did write about a challenge to myself, where you the readers were my accountability partner, to eat better and lose some weight.  Having spent a number of weeks travelling for work, I find eating more challenging.  At all-day meetings, they generally bring in sandwiches or pizza.  Sometimes, we get salad (I do eat that healthier option), but not always.  Last week – no salad.  At night, I had a beer, burger (on a roll) and flat bread pizzas. 

Remember when you were younger and could eat anything that was put in front of you?  As a kid, my parents, when there was no snow on the ground, always said, “why don’t you go outside and play?”  And out we went – we would shoot hoops in the backyard, play ball on either our side yard or at the high school across the street, or, zip around the neighborhood on our bikes.  We were active, so the amount of food that we ate easily turned into fuel for our bodies to consume with our activities.  Growing up, we never ate fast food, which my brothers and I still adhere to in adulthood.  It was great, I used to eat everything in sight, which led to jokes being called Hoover or Exectrolux after the vacuum cleaners.  This lasted through college.  It was great to not have to worry about what I ate.  And then I went to work full time, where I sat at a desk, went home and stopped being as active.  We all know the story and as we get older, we see the impact.  I never heard of a daddy belly or a dad bod until I started to have one.  It is still about choices.

Seems like when we go on vacation or travel for work, we make choices based on convenience or thinking that it is OK to let things go for a week.  It is easy to slide back into the bad eating habits, because let’s face it, some of those less healthy foods taste so good!  My travel eating choices, especially when I am on my own, are all on my shoulders.  Burger and a beer, pizza and a beer, beer and some wings – all tasty.  By the end of this last week, I had more than my fill of carbs and added to my waistline – I did not make healthy choices.  Though my palette was happy, my stomach was not.  My simple test is to stand tall and look downward past my belly to see what I can see.  If I see my feet, all is good.  Of course, looking in the mirror might give me a different perspective.  Eating is important and to enjoy what we eat is a bonus.  Our choices, however, are ours to make.

Be The Example

I have finally done it!  Or, to put it better, I have finally done it and realized it as I woke up this morning.  Two weeks ago, I posted my 300^th blog (242^nd on LinkedIn).  The moment passed like any other moment, under the usual process and without fanfare.  How did I notice?  About a month or two ago, I noticed that I was getting close, but was more focused on the writing than the number itself.  However, a milestone is a milestone, no matter if it is accompanied with a brass band (or in my case a jam band) or tumbleweed rolling across the quiet plains.  As a weekly article, there are times where I think about throwing in the towel, but am always happy that I kept going.

Like anything we do, we have a choice to either dip our big toe into the water to test the temperature or dive in head first.  When we dip our toe in, we are hedging against ourselves prepared for the easy out if “all the conditions” do not meet our needs.  When we dive in, we are truly committed to the action and there is no other option but to move forward.  Life is filled with these choices – sometimes on a frequent basis and other times not so frequently.  We are all guilty of this. 

About 10 years ago, while looking for a way to bring in some additional money, I entered the world of Network Marketing, also known as Multi-level Marketing.  The concept interested me in that you were an independent business owner (entrepreneur) within a business.  Taking a dip or diving in?  This was a dip; I learned that “selling”, no matter what the label it was given, was not my forte and I was not willing to put my body and soul into this venture.  This was a good lesson and I did learn the importance of personal ongoing development.

Playing music is another great example.  I started with the accordion when I was nine years old.  Almost 48 years later, I might only occasionally pull out the accordion, but in that time learned the saxophone, clarinet, guitar, banjo and currently play the keyboards in two bands.  There are many people who I know and meet that tell me that they wished they still played.  For them, it was a dip, but for me and the people I play with, it was a dive.  I learned that if you enjoy something, it is far easier to keep doing it. 

Like with the previous idea, the same with reading, exercising and food choices.  The key is to be able to define what success means so that one’s goals are attainable, realistic and meaningful.  As the famous Yoda quote goes, “Do or do not, there is no try.”  After over 300 articles spanning 6 years, I guess I can say this was more than just sticking my toe in the water.  Even if this does not dent the universe, cause any great ripple in society or provide unusual pronouncements, this is something that I can point to that says if you put your mind to it, you can do it.  Sometimes being that example might provide someone else the inspiration to do, instead of to try.