Who is Guarding Whom?

In Harlan Ellison’s short story, “Crackpots”, he asks the underlying question – who really are the madmen and who runs the asylum?  It was an interest topic as it does make one realize that our points of view, or perspectives, can have a huge impact on how we view the world around us, how we navigate through life and how we interact with others.  For those amongst us that we deem the “normal” of society, someone who is a genius can sometimes border on insanity.  One might have to suspend commonly accepted methods to be open to other ideas and options.

In my brief time as an IBO (independent business owner) in the network marketing world, we were taught that when we approach a potential customer or IBO, to always lead with “…are you open to…”  As we go through life, how often are we not open to new thoughts, ideas or concepts?  Is it possible to crack that door ajar enough for new things to trickle in, either through the help of other, or, (gasp) of our own volition?  We all have the capacity to think more broadly.  When you are looking to buy a new car, did you all of a sudden look around and wonder why the car you are looking at has become more popular?  They were always there; you just were not “open” to seeing them.

We ran into a similar concept when we re-sided the house many years ago.  We were asked what type of shudders we wanted, or if we even wanted shudders.  We laughed at the time, thinking that shudders were standard and everyone had them.  As we drove around (many times not even looking), we noticed that there are a lot of houses without shudders, they came in some different styles, sizes and contrasting colors.  Without having been open to this beforehand, we never would have realized this.  We had a preconceived notion and potentially cut ourselves off to an option had not someone else point this out.  The “crazy” idea of not having shudders all-of-a-sudden became a possibility.

We all live in a world of commonly accepted practices, group-think, and community derived norms.  We have all met people through our lives that seemed a little bit “out there”, due to the fact they did not comply with our “accepted” practices.  It is interesting to note, that after a few cocktails, we tend to drop our commonly accepted façade and we begin to hypothesize and create new ideas.  These Ideas are generated by the ability to think freely, to push beyond convention and a static environment.  The next morning, as we try to remember through the fog and possible hangover what we envisioned, half the time we dismiss the thoughts as it is outside what others might approve.  It does show that new ideas can flow more freely once the restraints are removed that dam up our abilities to be creative.

So, who are the mad ones, the free thinkers or the practitioners of the generally accepted norm?  And, who is guarding whom, or are have we become monitors / captors of our own thoughts?

To Be or Not To Be 25 Again

During the Super Bowl, it was great to see the “Ground Hog’s Day” commercial with Bill Murray, which made sense, as both Ground Hog’s Day and the Super Bowl were on the same day.  Besides acting as a reminder to a fun movie, it was great to see the theme revisited with so much fun.  As the week progressed, it did make me think about having the opportunities to do something over, recycle a portion of my life, or just start over again.  Of course, this is merely a mental exercise, but it does make one stop and think about what if we could have a redo?  Would things turn out different or would they be the same?

Juxtaposition this with having a child that just turned 25.  While she comments on the quarter century mark, us older folk remember (although through tinted glass, aka the filters of time) where we were when we were that age.  I actual had a conversation with someone that stated that even though she is ten years older than Gab, she found a huge difference in time.  At 35, she knew where she was in life, where she wants to head and had experienced enough of life to understand things better.  At 25, she remembered not being sure of the future, still trying to “figure things out” and being a bit rudderless.  When I turned 25 (that would have been 1987), I was still living at home, was on my first adult job and was pretty much clueless on my life and where I wanted to go.  So, yeah, I would have to agree with the assessment that I heard.

What about having a chance to go back and do it all over again?  Aside from the fact that I would have my 25-year-old body and all the energy that it would bring, would I really want to go back, even with knowing what I know today?  I have gathered 32 years more of life experience, have a pretty good understanding of where I am, have a direction my life is going, and I have a great wife and family.  I am where I am based on what has happened to me and am comfortable with the results.  Would I want to go back, tamper with my success (and failures)?  To be honest, if I would end up exactly where I am at, it would be fun.  But if not…I cannot fathom a different life, a different spouse, a different family.  I am happy where I am at.  So, while repeating Bill Murray’s day over and over has some measure of fun, I am happy to have this point in life and all it has to offer.  How about you?

Leading and Delegating

As a president of an organization, I have had to ponder two concepts – leadership and delegation.


Oxford Dictionary provides the following definitions:

·         Leadership: “the action of leading a group of people or an organization.”

·         Delegate: “entrust (a task or responsibility) to another person.”

I remember as a young man, looking at various organization’s presidents, that once you reached that position, you were the one everybody had to listen to and the person that dictated every action.  As I got older, I realized that sometimes this is true and other times, not.  In truth, the role does come with the phrase that President Truman stated, “The buck stops here.”  Meaning that all the accountability, responsibility for the success of the organization at the end of the day falls on that person’s shoulders.  Leading means having the ability to know everything that is going on in the organization.  Since my synagogue is a microcosm compared to large entities, this can be an ominous task.  No one person can be involved in everything, make all decisions and action every item.  To attempt this leads to frustration and does not give a feeling of inclusion to the other people involved in leadership or the organization.

At some point I was taught the importance of delegating tasks.  This can become a fine art where you have to learn what to delegate, who to delegate to and how to engage with the person, or persons, involved.  You cannot just push responsibilities onto other people, look the other way, and hope that the tasks required are completed.  This is where relationships need to be developed as you have to be able to work with the people you ask to assist you in achieving goals.  If you delegate, you have to make sure that the person you work with has a vested interest in succeeding with the assignment, someone that you know will involve other like-minded individuals (building a team) and has the ability to communicate what happens.  Not everyone that we involve will work out as expected.

This is where the balance has to be made.  As a leader, you need to set the example, own your position and engage other people.  To do this alone, can lead to becoming a dictator where you build the expectation that you must be included in everything (i.e., managers that need to be on ALL emails), stifle creative suggestions (which all organizations need to thrive and change alongside our broader environments) and push potential help away.  Similarly, reactions where one delegates everything and takes on no responsibility, as this can lead to teams feeling they have no support, lack a broad direction and can lead to a feeling we are in the wild west.  This is the hard part, as a leader you never cede your responsibility, trust the people you ask to help, providing support and guidance, and encourage their creativity.  As General George S. Patton stated, “Don't tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results.”