Gratitude Edition

Thanksgiving.  A time to be thankful.  A time to show gratitude.  A time of festive indulgence.  This is the one time of the year when we are supposed to get together, enjoy a hearty meal, watch football and get that head start on holiday shopping.  This is a national day where we are supposed to be thankful and show off our attitude of gratitude; even to the point where you might go around the dining room table broadcasting to the world what you are thankful for.

As a kid, I remember learning about the Pilgrims during this time of year. They strode forth for religious reasons, braved their way across the immensely large body of water known as the Atlantic Ocean, and lived in an unknown world inhabited by unknown people.  This hazardous journey was made by a people with conviction, commitment and cooperation who forged together for a common goal.  The celebratory meal, which is represented as our Thanksgiving meal, gives celebration to man’s endeavors to survive at all costs and ultimately to populating and becoming the great nation we live in.  I remember making buckles for our shoes, little hats for our heads and drawing hand-outlined turkeys.  It was a rich opportunity to relive a critical time in our history.

Thanksgiving is the midpoint and the evening where frantic shoppers hit the stores in search of good deals so that they can get a huge jump on their holiday gift gathering.  We all know in advance who will be having the sales and the hours stores will be open for.  In an age where online shopping is becoming the preferred way to shop, Thanksgiving is a day to be thankful that the stores and malls still exist, because that is where the deals are!  Hate to eat and run…oh, and make sure the alarm is set extra early to continue the frantic search for that special item Friday morning!

Sorry, I am not shopping.  I look forward to waking up Friday morning without setting the alarm.  Spend a little time thinking about how special the day is, what it represents and how a small band of people came to this country, a country that represents the ideals of freedom, to make a new life for themselves.  Then I will be thankful for being blessed to have my family, to spend time together, to relax and to enjoy their company.  While we should not need one day set aside to be grateful (we should be grateful every day), we should not squander that opportunity.  And then off to my brothers for the annual, the traditional Thanksgiving meal, some seasonal beverages and being thankful for the day.

Rinse Cycle

I think that most of the time we forget about how awesome our country is.  If you spend time watching or listening to media, all you hear are points of negativity, failure posturing and political condemnation.  It is a rare occasion when the news covers about the beautiful landscapes and type of terrains that exist.  If you were to evaluate our country based on the media, you would potentially have a distorted view. I realize that the prism in which we view the universe in provides us with what we believe to be true, but that does not always mean that is the truth.

This past weekend, Debbie and I had a chance to visit one of the awesome treasures that we have in our country.  We had the opportunity to spend the weekend in Sedona, Arizona – a truly cool place that was grand on many levels.  As we drove through the winding mountain routes (route 89), we saw a gap between the mountains that made us go “Wow!” out loud.  After coming from the Scottsdale / Phoenix area, where these cities were full of people, buildings and noise, the relative quiet, open space and relaxing feeling while standing near the red rock formations was easily impactful on us.  In the short time we had, we explored their tourist area, went off roading on a jeep tour, ate our meals outdoors while looking out at the scenery and found spots for solitude and reflection.  By the time we left, we felt that this was a place to return for a longer period of time.

Under the hustle and bustle of life, where we spend our valuable time striving to make a difference, support our families and champion causes, we sometimes forget to stop and catch our breath.  Yes, I know that I write about this after I actually have had a chance to “press the rinse cycle” on my life, take a brief break and reset my perspective.  This time, we had a chance to view natural wonders and breathe in some fresh, untainted air.  We left our worries behind, stopped thinking about the “daily grind” and enjoyed our precious time together in a really different environment; an environment that was here long before our families arrived on these shores and one that will long outlive our generations to come.  Sometimes, we get caught up in the “BS” that assails our senses and forget that we do truly have a great nation, with awesome places to visit and natural adventures to be experienced.

Sunrise Day Camp, It’s the Best Camp!

Hi everyone!   For a little change, I am writing this week’s blog!  I hope you enjoy it! 

-Gabrielle

The Sunrise Association is the first company to have a day camp that is free of charge for kids with cancer and their siblings.  Throughout the east coast and Israel, there are currently 8 campgrounds. During the year, The Sunrise Association does Sunrise on Wheels, which is when people from Sunrise go into hospitals to hang out and play with kids who are cancer patients.  There are also fundraisers throughout the year to raise money for the association. 

The main jobs of the counselors are to make sure that the kids are safe and that they have fun. Staff members make sure that everything is wiped down and that campers always use hand sanitizer in-between and during activities. Without the amazing staff members, the camp would not be as great.  They always make sure that campers are being included and are given the opportunity to be kids.  The biggest goal of camp is for it to be camp and to give the kids the chance for a normal experience.

For the past 3 summers, I have been fortunate enough to work as the Music Specialist at Sunrise Day Camp in Pearl River. We sing, play musical games, and play on the Music Garden that has been donated to the camp.  While at camp, there are many activities to do other than music.  Campers get to play sports, go rock climbing, go boating, play minigolf, dance, go swimming, do yoga, do drama, create art, and make lanyards.  While these are normal camp activities, these campers are special and would not be able to have this opportunity.  Our camp gives children with cancer and their siblings an opportunity to attend summer camp in a safe, caring environment.

I have met so many counselors and campers who have shown me to live each day to the fullest.  You never know where life will take you, so it is important to live every day as best as you can.  Don’t take anything for granted and enjoy everyone and everything.

On October 20, I am lucky enough to be leading a team at Sunrise Walks, where “We Walk So They Can Soar”. For the past few weeks, my team members have been raising money to give to the Pearl River camp. Please find the website below for more information about the camp and everything that this amazing organization does. 

https://www.sunrise-walks.org/PR/Team/View/113113/Team-Z

Lending a Helping Hand

I stood there quietly as the line began to form.  At first there was a trickle, then the people entered the queue at a quicker rate.  There was no pushing or shoving, though some did wave to others and some did walk up to talk to friends.  For the most part, these people were neatly dressed, well groomed and polite.  Some of the people in line looked as if they just had got off from work, carrying a notepad portfolio.  These could have been yours or my neighbors as there was nothing to distinguish them as being any different.  As they stepped up to the counter, the volunteers who I was with happily talked to whomever was in front of them and there were plenty of smiles and laughs all around.

The volunteers who I was with were here to help those in need of a meal as part of the “Family Promise of Bergen County” in conjunction with the “Bergen County Housing, Health and Human Services Center” in Hackensack.  After talking to one of the people who works at the kitchen, I found out that there is an influx of people towards the end of the month because they have run out of money for the month.  We were helping to provide a vital service of providing a meal (this is donated from the volunteer’s organization or congregation) to those who have found themselves in a less fortunate situation.  I was at the kitchen, as a runner to restock the supplies, with the Social Action group from our synagogue.  This group has been run by one of our members, assisted by her family, for a number of years.  As president of the congregation, it warms my heart and makes me proud to know that we are involved with this, helping out at the Center for Food Action, collection of food throughout the year and adopting a family program at Thanksgiving.  As a more fortunate person, these programs that we participate in help to remind us to be thankful for what we have.

As I looked out at the group of people eating, some of the people clearly came from where they work.  I did overhear one person make phone calls to line up some work for himself.  When we think of needy people, we sometimes have a preconceived notion that they wear raggedy clothes, have no sense of personal cleanliness and might flash the toothless smile at you.  I have seen these people roaming the streets of the city.  If you walked into the group we were feeding on the sidewalk, you would not know what their particular situation was.  When the meal was over, many of the people there walked back up to the counter, not looking for handouts, but merely to share their thanks and appreciation for the meal provided.  Then the room cleared, we cleaned up the work area and then we were finished.

The big take away of our day – To remember when eating the next meal or enjoying the bounty our labors, there are some less fortunate trying to make ends meet.  A little bit of kindness, a small donation or a helping hand can make all the difference.

Venturing Beyond our Comfort Zones

“The biggest rewards in life are found outside your comfort zone. Live with it. Fear and risk are prerequisites if you want to enjoy a life of success and adventure.” ~ Jack Canfield

Last week I spent four full days in class.  This time was neither spent behind a desk, hiding behind the safety of a computer, nor quietly listening and hoping no one called on me.  This was not four days of down time, to have a nice dinner, or to go out for a few beers to bide my quiet evenings alone until the next session began.  This was 8+ hours standing at the front of the class, teaching the class through slides, explanations, demos and exercises.  My night times were spent with a quick dinner, catching up on emails, making phone calls and prepping for the next day’s class.  I was out front, talking, teaching and being “on” the entire four days.  As someone who leans slightly towards the introvert side, this was a tiring week, where I stepped out of my comfort to help others on their journey.

The truth is, I am comfortable giving presentations – they are of a fixed length and the longest one I had given to date was a one-hour seminar.  Did I know I was stepping outside that comfortable circle I had drawn around myself?  Yes.  Was I scared / nervous?  Yes.  Doing something you have not done before always brings about a feeling of displacement and triggers that little voice in our heads where doubt is created and the constant reminder that you have never done this before. 

Having dealt with the world of change over the last 20+ years, I am able to spot some of the language people use to protect those imaginary borders they have erected around themselves.  It can appear as a reminiscence (“I remember…”, “The we use to…”), as an alternate solution (“I would have…”), or even as a warning (“This did not work last time…”).  These are people who are comfortable where they are, are afraid to leave the place where they are comfortable or simply fear what they do not know or understand.  If I am being completely honest, these types of thoughts do appear at the edge of my own personal comfort zone.

In my house, Debbie spent many years as a nursery school teacher.  I watched her prepare for her classes.  Gab is currently a music teacher and I see the amount of time that she spends each weekend in preparation for her week ahead.  As with any new venture, it is important to address your fears / concerns head on and spend the time learning what you need, preparing ahead and remembering why you are doing it.  If you have seen specials on stunt drivers, you see the amount of time and effort spent before doing the most dangerous stunt to ensure that it is pulled of successfully and safely.  By the end of the week, I was tired as it was a lot of effort to prepare and even more to do the teaching.  However, once the course was completed, I reinforced my personal reasons for doing this.  I had connected with the students to help them on their journeys and was grateful to see the bulbs light up over their heads as they had their own “a-ha” moments.  By expanding my comfort zone, I felt good about myself and what I was able to do for others.

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” ~ Les Brown

…And It’s Time to Say Goodbye

Saying goodbye can be one of the hardest things to do; Especially after you have been someplace for a long time.  Let us face it, change of any sort is not easy, even coming from someone who talks about change, works with change and understands the benefits of change.  No matter how difficult the decision might be and the emotional feelings surrounding that decision, sometimes it is time for a change.  The truth is, it is better to be the one who decides the change than to have the change occur and wonder what happened.  It is always good to move the cheese rather than to wonder who moved it.

For me, I am leaving the company that I have worked at for 16 years – 5 and a half as a consultant and 10 and a half as an employee.  It has been a “good gig.”  I had some goals that I was striving for, some projects that I wanted to achieve and to help the users I worked with move towards better systems.  After 16 years, it is time to strive for new goals, face new challenges and help other people / companies achieve their goals.  I leave on a high note, successfully completing my last international project.  Some of the highlights during my time at ITG:

·        I worked with some good people and made new friends

·        I reached some personal achievements / goals

·        I completely revamped the internal financial systems by implementing world class software

·        I managed international project teams

·        I worked with quality third party partners

As timing is everything, it is fitting that this happens in December.  We have reached the end of the year.  A year filled with many good things and accomplishments.  And as always, whether planned or not, changes occurred.  In the middle of the year, I was elected the president of my synagogue, which has had its challenges and has been exciting thus far.  By moving on from ITG, I know that there will be challenges ahead, but what better way to end the year with the expectation of the next journey ahead, the new opportunities and the excitement of something new. 

2018 has been a good year.  I hope that you all enter into 2019 looking forward to attaining your goals and dreams in the new year.  Happy New Year!

Gratitude Department

As we all gathered around the Thanksgiving Day table with family and/or friends, I hope that your thoughts were not only on the bounty that laid in front of you.  This is one day in the year where we can set everything aside to be grateful for what we have, be grateful for the people who have touched our lives and be grateful for those who are around us.  This is also the time of year where, hopefully, you have thought of those less fortunate and have taken the time to help at a food bank/shelter, donated to a food drive or were involved in an adopt-a-family program.  It is not only important that we enjoy this feast, but also that we give someone that is in a lesser situation the opportunity to enjoy a special meal with their family and/or friends as well.

There have been times in my life, when I was at a Thanksgiving Day meal, where the host went around the room and asked everyone to say what they are grateful for.  The pressure to perform and stand up with some comment was always tough.  To compress an entire year into a single sentence of thankfulness is not a simple task.  I was never a fan of doing this as I did not want to leave anyone out, sound goofy or feel uncomfortable.  Being thankful and showing gratitude is not something to be condensed into a single moment where some of the people, or events, are not even present to be the recipient of the words being spoken.  I opt for being able to express your gratitude throughout the year and to the people you wish to express it to.

Remember, do not wait until a specific time of year to be grateful/thankful.  Thank people when they have done something good, for they will be happy someone has recognized their efforts.  Acknowledge the people you work with for putting in an extra effort.  Remember to express gratitude to your family members, who sometimes, not meaning to, we might take for granted.  They are specifically the people we spend most of our time with, get to live with when going through tough times and the ones who provide daily support.  Remember to say those two simple words, “Thank You,” when someone does something good.  It is sometimes the smallest gestures of gratitude that can lead to the biggest impacts.  Remember to have an attitude of gratitude in this season of thankfulness.

The House Is Empty…Again

Gab and Bec have left New Jersey, which means that the long holiday weekend is over.  For once, I can honestly say that the house feels “empty”.  Do not get me wrong, between Debbie, the two dogs and myself, the house is not “quiet”, it just feels empty.  Maybe it is because the past two years have had many challenges, that this might be the first time I really had a chance to notice.  Logically, I know they will be coming back soon, but it is a feeling that I seemed to have not noticed before.

Thanksgiving weekend is a great time, where in the middle of nowhere; we are celebrating a definitively American holiday.  Purposely avoiding any political correct landmines, we celebrate the arrival of freethinking individuals that landed in this part of the world, survived a harsh winter and lived amongst (or near) the Native Americans.  We supposedly recreate the festive meal they shared in thanks for survival in this new world.  Even as a child, I remember getting together with family to celebrate (by eating copious amounts of food).  We used to travel out to Long Island, sit in massive traffic (sometimes a three-hour trip) to spend this family event together.  Today, we celebrate locally, but it is still family time.  In fact, one of my brothers commented that this is what this day is about.  Agreed – being together (Dad did a Face time call to be with us for a while) and remembering what we have to be thankful for. 

And, just like that, the long weekend was over.  Maybe it was because there were many challenges faced this year.  Maybe it has to do with me getting older.  Maybe it is the thought that we are only a few years away from this particular dynamic changing as the girls head out more into the world.  This year I looked forward to being a complete family unit.  I enjoyed being that family unit.  It was good to have the house full, knowing where everyone was and what was happening.  Either way, during this Thanksgiving season, I am grateful for Debbie, Gab and Bec (yes, and Lucy Lou and Sadie).  I am grateful for my entire family, and thankful for all that I have.  Hope that you had a great Thanksgiving holiday and shared your gratitude with those around you.