When in Rome, Eat Pizza?

The travelers return home!

Bec has been home for almost a week now.  It has been great hearing her tell stories of her adventures of the past month – Israel, Greece, Italy, Belgium, The Netherlands, Germany, Poland and The Czech Republic.  While traveling, Bec and her friend, Jenn, figured out what apps to use on their phones to help navigate their way through each country and how to maximize their time.  One of the big takeaways that I learned was no matter where they went, no matter which country they were in, they spent time and palate on enjoying the local cuisines.  They did not look for the American fast food places that seem to have gone global but truly understood that each country has its own food offerings and tastes.

Some of their local culinary experiences included:

• In Israel, they enjoyed hummus, falafel, baklava, shawarma and local wines
• In Greece, they enjoyed tzatziki, souvlaki and moussaka
• In Italy, they enjoyed pasta, pizzas in different regions, gelato and local wines
• In Brussels, they found out it was the originator of the Fry, enjoyed liege waffles (what we call Belgium waffles), chocolate and beer
• In Amsterdam, they enjoyed a burger, Stroopwafel, bitterballen and croquettes
• In Germany, they tried the local bier, flammkuchen (one of Bec’s favorites), pretzels, schnitzels and chocolate
• In Poland, they enjoyed perogies and local beers.  Interesting thing, Bec does not like liver.  However, she had a perogy sampler plate and her favorite was chicken liver perogies and kasha – it just goes to show that you never know whether you like something or not until you taste it, as preparations are different wherever you go.
• In The Czech Republic, they enjoyed goulash and Trdelník, a pastry filled with fruit and cremes of your choice.

Yes, we can find many of these foods here in the US, but it is never the same nor as fresh tasting as from where they originate.  I often use the story of being in a deli in Dublin and seeing a “New York City Sandwich.”  First off, there is no sandwich called that (especially in New York City) and I am not even sure what was in the sandwich that was representative of NY.  That is similar to eating food here at a Chinese restaurant versus a local restaurant when I was in Hong Kong.  Not the same.  I am proud that the girls spent the time to eat locally.  It was an opportunity to try new foods, to understand the culture from a different point of view and to realize that people in different parts of the world, while the same as us in many ways, have different ways of culinary expression.  It is an important learning experience that follows the old phrase that starts, “When in Rome…”

To Travel the World

In the early 70’s, my parents went to Israel on their anniversary.  I remember that it was such a big deal to make such a venture that all of their friends came over for a bon voyage party.  Similarly, my grandparents went on the QE2 around the same time period and the entire family was able to go onboard for a small party and then watch as the boat pulled out (yes, just like those OLD movies).  Times have changed significantly in the past 40 years!  Today, going on a cruise is a regular vacation option, instead of a special event with a super high price tag.  Same with plane travel.  While people my age did backpack, it was not common to know many people who traveled abroad.

That brings me to Bec, who has her degree in Travel-Tourism and Hospitality and an MBA with a concentration in Hospitality Management.  It would be natural for her to want to travel.  Which is exactly what she is doing!  This is professional research and development at its finest example. 

I am not exactly sure when Bec caught the travel bug.  Yes, she does have a global map which shows where she has traveled.  To put this in terms that are easy to wrap our hands around…she has been to more counties than the number of states that I had been to when I reached her age!  This current adventure started taking shape more than a year ago, always based on starting with a Birthright trip.  Birthright, a non-for-profit organization, which began 20 years ago to provide young adults an opportunity for a free 10-day trip educational trip to discover Israel.  Gab had taken her trip a few years.  Since that time, Bec began planning when she would go.  The cool thing is that after the trip inside Israel, you can travel anywhere, but need to return to Tel Aviv for the free flight home. 

The planning began.  After four years being educated in her field, and having previously planned her and Gab’s trip to Europe two summers ago, the research began.  The key was to do the trip on a very tight budget.  There are free tours available – check.  There are inexpensive places to stay – check.  There are inexpensive means of transportation – check.  Into travel agent mode Bec went, planning the trip for herself and her friend Jenn.  When the planning was completed, a four-week itinerary appeared.  As a parent, it was great to see that the cost of education was being put to personal use.  As a traveler, Bec is also open-minded enough to know that each potential adventure can lead to new experiences, new places and just as importantly, new cuisines.  There is the old saying, “measure twice, cut once.”  Because she took her time and did the proper research, the first half of the trip is going well so far!

When Debbie and I got married, we went to Israel.  I let my father know that we arrived safely by sending a one-page fax for $10.  Times have changed drastically in the past 27.5 years.  Using her cell phone (we could not afford them in 1991), she sent us a message (for free) letting us know that she had arrived safely.  We hear from her regularly and she keeps a travel journal on Instagram (rebeccasroadtrip).  The world has truly become smaller and the ability to keep in touch simpler.  As the R&D continues and based on Bec’s feedback, we now have some ideas of where we would like to go travel in the future.  I hope that whatever path Bec takes, she is able to pursue this passion.  It’s a big world with many exciting places to visit and her journey has just begun!

“School’s Out Forever!”

“If the band plays at my graduation party, they have to play School’s Out,” Bec recently informed me.  She is, of course, referring to the iconic Alice Cooper song.  After 17 years of formal education and an MBA, Bec has officially declared that for her, “School is out forever!”  For the child that always poo-poo’d education, the child that always questioned why she had to take certain “useless” courses and the child that accelerated the collegiate timetables to maximize the outcome in the least time available, her school career has come to an end.  For Bec, this year, it is no longer “School’s out for summer,” but instead, “School’s Out Forever!”

“No more teacher, no more books…”

I can safely say, that as a parent, it is a wonderous thing to watch our children grow up, going from the “naked and afraid” newborn to the mature, confident adults that they become.  At some point, they really no longer need our total guidance, nor do they always want our opinions.  OK, that last sentence comes from my own experiences growing up.  Once I was out of college, I was earning my own way (even though I was still living at “home”) and felt that it was my life to mess up if I wanted to.  Rightly and wrongly, I understood that I had to learn from my own mistakes, my parents did not have the same experiences that I had and grew up in a different time with different ways and different thinking.  I am sure my dad thought the same way with his parents and most likely Gab and soon Bec will be as well with us.  For all the things school teaches, independence and guiding your own daily lives is one of them.

“…No more teacher’s dirty looks…”

The two proud parents sat in the auditorium, emotionally driven by seeing our daughter walking down the aisle.  There were the usual people speaking and, of course, some great takeaways.  The CFO, on behalf of the alumni spoke, and told the students to cherish the day as it is truly a once in a lifetime event.  Next up was the honoree Doctorate Degree given to Cindy Bigelow, president and CEO of the #1 specialty tea company that bears her family name.  As a true leader, she exemplifies listening before speaking, such that she met with a delegation of students (of which Bec was honored at being a part of) and crafted her speech based upon the concern of the students’ future.  She spoke from the heart and was very personal in her talk.  Aside from providing strategies (you will find your passion, just have patience), she did remind the students, “…you are not perfect, neither am I, but you are amazing.”

“School’s Out for Summer…”

After the ceremony, we went out to celebrate over lunch.  The place we went to had spiked milk shakes which seemed appropriate.  Then we dropped off Bec and came home.  For the once shy child, the child that did not like going to school, she has grown into a young adult that makes her own decisions and can follow her own path.  It is hard as parents to experience this, but something we all go through.  We only want the best for our children, prepare them for the day they leave the nest and hopefully have built the bridges that maintain our relationships going forward.  Next week, we move Bec back home, officially ending her time staying in Providence.  She has a bright future ahead and we look forward to whatever that brings.  Congrats, Bec, on reaching this milestone and now, on to the next chapter!

“School’s Out Forever!”

Venturing Beyond our Comfort Zones

“The biggest rewards in life are found outside your comfort zone. Live with it. Fear and risk are prerequisites if you want to enjoy a life of success and adventure.” ~ Jack Canfield

Last week I spent four full days in class.  This time was neither spent behind a desk, hiding behind the safety of a computer, nor quietly listening and hoping no one called on me.  This was not four days of down time, to have a nice dinner, or to go out for a few beers to bide my quiet evenings alone until the next session began.  This was 8+ hours standing at the front of the class, teaching the class through slides, explanations, demos and exercises.  My night times were spent with a quick dinner, catching up on emails, making phone calls and prepping for the next day’s class.  I was out front, talking, teaching and being “on” the entire four days.  As someone who leans slightly towards the introvert side, this was a tiring week, where I stepped out of my comfort to help others on their journey.

The truth is, I am comfortable giving presentations – they are of a fixed length and the longest one I had given to date was a one-hour seminar.  Did I know I was stepping outside that comfortable circle I had drawn around myself?  Yes.  Was I scared / nervous?  Yes.  Doing something you have not done before always brings about a feeling of displacement and triggers that little voice in our heads where doubt is created and the constant reminder that you have never done this before. 

Having dealt with the world of change over the last 20+ years, I am able to spot some of the language people use to protect those imaginary borders they have erected around themselves.  It can appear as a reminiscence (“I remember…”, “The we use to…”), as an alternate solution (“I would have…”), or even as a warning (“This did not work last time…”).  These are people who are comfortable where they are, are afraid to leave the place where they are comfortable or simply fear what they do not know or understand.  If I am being completely honest, these types of thoughts do appear at the edge of my own personal comfort zone.

In my house, Debbie spent many years as a nursery school teacher.  I watched her prepare for her classes.  Gab is currently a music teacher and I see the amount of time that she spends each weekend in preparation for her week ahead.  As with any new venture, it is important to address your fears / concerns head on and spend the time learning what you need, preparing ahead and remembering why you are doing it.  If you have seen specials on stunt drivers, you see the amount of time and effort spent before doing the most dangerous stunt to ensure that it is pulled of successfully and safely.  By the end of the week, I was tired as it was a lot of effort to prepare and even more to do the teaching.  However, once the course was completed, I reinforced my personal reasons for doing this.  I had connected with the students to help them on their journeys and was grateful to see the bulbs light up over their heads as they had their own “a-ha” moments.  By expanding my comfort zone, I felt good about myself and what I was able to do for others.

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” ~ Les Brown

The Importance of Ongoing Education and Training

For a number of years, I neither went to a work-related training class nor a seminar.  I am one of those people who has no problem asking a few questions, rolling up my sleeves, and going off to figure out what needs to be done, how to accomplish what I set out to do and hacking my way through.  Did I get the results I expected?  Most of the time that would be a yes.  Unfortunately, we have a tendency to think that once we are able to proceed in this manner, this is the best way to go – NOT!

Over the last couple of years, I finally broke down and went to a few conferences, went to a seminar and attended some classes.  There is the old adage – “You know what you know; You know what you do not know; But, you do not know what you do not know.”  After attending a few of these courses, I found out that there was more in the third category than I expected.  By attending a conference, I learned how much technology had advanced with that specific software and what had become available over the past few years.  By attending a training course, regardless of the fact that I already used the software, I learned what the software actually does and why.  We all like to throw around the term “best practices.”  In reality, there is always more than one way to accomplish a goal.  However, there is the most direct, accurate, best way rather than a longer, more eloquent approach to meet the same ends.  In the former case, the resources and results are optimized, while in the latter, resources might be put under more pressure and the results less accurate.  We sometimes forget that continued learning is important.

As my younger daughter heads towards graduating in May, I see her excitement at having “no more school.”  Yes, the formal portion of her education might be over, but I have not quite broken it to her yet that there will always be more to learn, more to be educated on and ALWAYS room for improvement.  As I head to becoming certified as a trainer, I realize that training is an opportunity to introduce others to concepts, provide a starting point for moving forward and a chance to share ideas.  It is providing the tools and insights so that the people in attendance can take those thoughts, have a beginner’s ability to start using what they learned, and almost as important, have the ability to ask better questions.  Sometimes, a little bit of knowledge can lead to a desire to improve what is front of us and only through our questions can we fully learn more (or get to good answers).  I look forward to help those starting their journeys and take this opportunity to learn from their experiences as well.

In Training

This past week I found myself sitting in a college classroom.  That is right – student Wayne!  The last time I sat in a classroom as a student was 27 and a half years ago, when I got my MBA going to night school at Fairleigh Dickinson University.  This past week I attended a class at the University of Connecticut.  No, I am not going through a mid-life crisis, looking to find myself or taking on a new degree.  I am at a training course to prepare myself for the next couple of months.  As I sit in the classroom, during a break, my thoughts wonder off on why we learn:  Because our parents told us to go, to learn a skillset or to simply to improve ourselves.  As Jim Rohn so eloquently put it, “Formal education will make a living, self-education will make you a fortune.”

Let’s face it, we all start off going to school because our parents told us to.  I am no different, as I expected Gab and Bec to go to college and “follow the correct path” towards the future.  Education is extremely important.  Both girls, as it ended up, chose different paths and each had unique, semi-non-conventional experiences.  When I went to undergrad, it was because that is what I was supposed to do.  I struggled, but graduated on time from Lehigh University.  I was finished, swearing never to go back to school.  Two years later, I went to school for my MBA; this time, it was for me that I went.  The experience was completely different and I was able to better put into perspective the topics I was learning…OK, and there were less distractions (different topic for, maybe, a different day).

This time around, it is a single, short course to help me.  It is to learn the material, watch how the sessions are taught and walk away with the ability to help others.  I taught for 10 months at a trade school many years ago, teaching book keeping.  I taught the material as presented and added some insight from the real world.  Having gone through some self-education, I should have approached the teaching as helping others to get what they want.  That is what teaching should be about, having the students walk away with something that will help them.  As I looked around the classroom, some things have not changed – some students were there to better themselves, while others were just there.  Maybe it is maturity, maybe it is experience, or maybe it is understanding why I am in that classroom.  Either way, I walked away feeling good about learning new things, seeing the benefit and gaining the ability to help others down the road.

It Could Have Been My Congregation

It could have been my congregation, your congregation or any other place where people meet innocently and peacefully.  Unfortunately, we fall into following the age-old mentality that when things are quiet, you tend to let your guard down…

The event of last Saturday in Pittsburgh is not only a Jewish thing.   Yes, anti-Semitism has been around seemingly forever.  Our Purim story is about a man of hate, Haman.  It is unfortunate to say, but each generation has its own Haman.  Hate, however, knows no boundaries.  It is always easier to blame someone else, rather than to own up to the wrongdoing; the most extreme is to eradicate those we despise.  This time, it was innocent Jews who were murdered; Who knows where the next act of hatred will occur?

While in Dublin last week for work, I had the opportunity to take a tour in Belfast called the Black Taxi Tour, run by Taxi Trax.  The driver was someone who was impacted by the violence in Northern Ireland, which they refer to as The Troubles.  Short history - in 1922, when Ireland became an independent Republic, part of the separation deal with England was to have the northern six counties stay part of the U.K.  The Irish there, though on the body of land called Ireland, were separate and English citizens, and treated as second-class citizens, like other downtrodden people throughout time.  The one point the driver made - it was always tit-for-tat.  You kill one of ours, now one of yours dies, whereby innocent were murdered.  In that mindset of revenge, it is easy to see how killing can escalate.

I bring this up, only to point out that an eye for eye mentality does not resolve the issue.  And not to delve into political rhetoric, but people who want to harm, people who want to destroy lives, will always find a way to do so.  Education is key.  If you teach violence as a solution, violence then becomes a valid approach to getting what one thinks they want.  If you provide an indoctrination into hatred and violence as part of the Education, those once innocent minds may never learn a better way.  Teaching tolerance, appreciation for others and the rights of individuals is important, especially in a country where most of our ancestors came for those freedoms not allowed from their countries of birth.

What can we do?  We can stand together, to show that an attack on innocent people will not divide us, but unite us.  We can teach that hate is not OK.  And, we must stand ready and not let down our guard.  Our synagogue has had an armed security guard since a thwarted fire bomb attack in 2012.  Sometimes, we wonder if we still need this deterrent.  After the events on October 27th in Pittsburgh, we now wonder if our security measures are enough.  May we remember the 11 people who had their lives taken from them and the others who have lost their lives in similar fashion. 

It could have been my congregation…