…And So Ends the High Holiday Season

4 weeks and an additional 10 services across five Holidays (Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah) has come to a close.  This is an extremely busy time of the year in the Jewish world: We start the New Year, repent, celebrate the crossing of the desert (after leaving Egypt) and receiving the Torah (we end and restart).  There have been days for fressen (Yiddish for eating like there is no tomorrow), fasting and festivities.  During these High Holy Days, we reflect, contemplate, ask for forgiveness and start over.  And then…they are over and life goes back to normal.

Or do they?  Or, should they?

Since I have been a child, these have been the days to see people who I have not seen throughout the year. Because Rose Hashanah and Yom Kippur are such important holidays, these are the few times a year that some people will go to services.  Believe me, no matter what you believe in, an opportunity to have a clean slate, spiritually, emotionally or physically is a HUGE draw! 

Some of my personal take-aways:

·      Saddest moment – We read about Moses and all the great things that he did.  He is the ultimate heroic figure in the Torah, with the ability to accomplish big feats, lead / create a nation that has endured and ultimately was very human.  This is the time where we relive his final days, and using the analogy from a Western, our favorite hero rides off into the sunset.

·     Meaningful moment – There is a portion of the Yom Kippur service called Neilah, where the Aron Kodesh (ark) remains open.  This is where the Torah “resides.”  We have a chance to stand in front, symbolically face Hashem whose presence (Shechinah) can be felt, to give our last appeals and pray for the future year, before he closes the ledger on our lives for the upcoming year.  It is a powerful moment.

I find it interesting that we focus our energies into this holiday, as every other religion does on their holiest, most meaningful days.  We all talk about living with each other, while history teaches of wiping out our enemies (so there can be no revenge).  We ask forgiveness for our actions, whether person-to-person, to a higher authority or in commitments we make to ourselves.  Yet, within a few weeks of self-reflection, feeling good about our decision and looking towards a better future, we fall back into our old ways.  “We are only human, Wayne,” is not an excuse.  Because it is easier?  I would sooner agree with that.  It is simple to commit to being better, but not easy to execute, as that means it takes work.  Remember, working towards something positive is worth the effort, provides a sense of accomplishment and inspires other.  As entrepreneur, author and motivational speaker Jim Rohn states, “Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better.”  Here’s to being better.

Busy v Productivity

I have been hearing the word “busy” thrown around a lot lately.  It seems as if this word is very over used, whether I am hearing the word in general conversations, related to work, regarding personal lives, etc.  “You are so busy.”  “I am so busy that I do not have time for…”  “I like to keep busy.”  “They are really keeping me busy.”  I am sure that you can add a phrase or two to this list.  I do remember when I first started working, the term “busy work” was used.  This was not used as a positive term and signified giving somebody work so that they were occupied – a fancy phrase for shuffling paper. 

Does being busy mean that there is some type of result or output?  Or does “busy” mean the “busy work” of my past?  I decided that I should check with the dictionary and get a definition for the word “busy”.  Merriam-Webster defines “busy” as “engaged in action…full of activity.”  OK – between working fulltime, being president of a synagogue, being involved in my family, music, social life, etc., I can easily say that I fit the definition for “busy”.  Earlier in my career, I remember working with people who worked 9 to 5, knew the nightly television schedule, slept late on weekends and seemed to have no free time.  They said they were too busy for anything else.  This was while I was working fulltime, going to school at night and planning a wedding – who had time for television every night?

A number of years ago, I was introduced at work to Agile project management.  Not to go into details, but one of the methods they taught us was to set two-week goals and define the tasks that you can complete within that timeframe.  2 weeks = 80 working hours – time for meetings – time for “fire drills”.  That means that one’s productive time is probably closer to 50 hours a week.  I used to sit in the planning session and the participants would minimize the time for each task and load up the activities; in other words, they wanted to look busy.  The problem is that nothing would finish and they were not productive.

Merriam-Webster’s definition of “productive” is “Yielding results, benefits or profit.”

There is the old saying in geometry, all squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares.  The basic definition of a rectangle is that opposite sides are parallel, the same length and it has only right angles.  A square’s definition is the same, with the only difference that the length of all sides is the same; so, by definition all squares are rectangles.  Using the same thinking, productive people can be busy, but not all busy people are productive.  So, if I go back to my busy list – am I being productive? 

·         Fulltime Work – Am I adding value to the company I work for and my clients?

·         Synagogue President – Are there results / new initiatives generated?

·         Family – Is the time spent together meaningful (quality over quantity) and will create lasting memories?

These are the questions that we all should be asking to make sure that we all live up to the potentials that we have each been given in order to best utilize our time while walking this planet (or any future planet).  I am thinking that we should minimize our use of the word “busy” and increase the use of the word “productive”.  This way, when someone talks about their output, we know that they are filling their time meaningfully and not just shuffling paper.

Sunrise Day Camp, It’s the Best Camp!

Hi everyone!   For a little change, I am writing this week’s blog!  I hope you enjoy it! 

-Gabrielle

The Sunrise Association is the first company to have a day camp that is free of charge for kids with cancer and their siblings.  Throughout the east coast and Israel, there are currently 8 campgrounds. During the year, The Sunrise Association does Sunrise on Wheels, which is when people from Sunrise go into hospitals to hang out and play with kids who are cancer patients.  There are also fundraisers throughout the year to raise money for the association. 

The main jobs of the counselors are to make sure that the kids are safe and that they have fun. Staff members make sure that everything is wiped down and that campers always use hand sanitizer in-between and during activities. Without the amazing staff members, the camp would not be as great.  They always make sure that campers are being included and are given the opportunity to be kids.  The biggest goal of camp is for it to be camp and to give the kids the chance for a normal experience.

For the past 3 summers, I have been fortunate enough to work as the Music Specialist at Sunrise Day Camp in Pearl River. We sing, play musical games, and play on the Music Garden that has been donated to the camp.  While at camp, there are many activities to do other than music.  Campers get to play sports, go rock climbing, go boating, play minigolf, dance, go swimming, do yoga, do drama, create art, and make lanyards.  While these are normal camp activities, these campers are special and would not be able to have this opportunity.  Our camp gives children with cancer and their siblings an opportunity to attend summer camp in a safe, caring environment.

I have met so many counselors and campers who have shown me to live each day to the fullest.  You never know where life will take you, so it is important to live every day as best as you can.  Don’t take anything for granted and enjoy everyone and everything.

On October 20, I am lucky enough to be leading a team at Sunrise Walks, where “We Walk So They Can Soar”. For the past few weeks, my team members have been raising money to give to the Pearl River camp. Please find the website below for more information about the camp and everything that this amazing organization does. 

https://www.sunrise-walks.org/PR/Team/View/113113/Team-Z

New Year 5780

It is once again that time of year where we wish our friends and family a sweet New Year.  It is also that time of the year, once again, where we have the opportunity to take stock in what we have accomplished, to assess the goals that have fallen short and to think about where we need to be in the upcoming year.  Some years I find that things go as planned, other years I am off the mark.  The years where things go well, I look forward to review how I did.  The other years, I look towards the review less excited but know that to get better in the future I have to go through with it.  Either way, it is that time of year.

This past year, 5779, was one of the good years!  On the personal front, Bec has graduated from college and I am now proud of both of my working girls.  Debbie and I had a great year together, working together as a couple, being supportive best friends and enjoying facing life together.  On the professional front, I have successfully changed jobs, shifting back into the consulting world and became an authorized trainer.  On the volunteer front, I am still the president of my synagogue, where I think we made a small dent in their universe and have worked towards changing peoples’ mindset.  The year was productive! 

One thing is certain – We each need to measure our successes on our own merit, our own goals and our own lives.  We are each our own person and must remember that as we review our year, we look at it through our own eyes, through our abilities and our desires.  It is easy to fall into the trap of, “I did not do as good as so-and-so,” “How come so-and-so got X while I did not,” and “I should have done, like so-and-so.”  As we look towards the next year, we should set our sights on the things we wish to accomplish, the help we wish to provide to others and the personal growth we wish to develop. 

Choose your path wisely, set reasonable goals and be diligent in following the path in front of you.

Here’s to a Meaningful, Happy, Healthy and Prosperous 5780!

FOOD!

Eating healthy is a choice.  Let’s face it, if you watch television, even for a minimal amount of time, you are bound to catch a commercial on some yummy looking food.  Many times, when you see that food in real life, it does not look the same and does not always taste like they led you to believe.  Even those nice “tall” looking sandwiches, when they are placed in front of have the same ingredients but some how look flat and less appetizing.  It is a choice – and a few years ago, I did write about a challenge to myself, where you the readers were my accountability partner, to eat better and lose some weight.  Having spent a number of weeks travelling for work, I find eating more challenging.  At all-day meetings, they generally bring in sandwiches or pizza.  Sometimes, we get salad (I do eat that healthier option), but not always.  Last week – no salad.  At night, I had a beer, burger (on a roll) and flat bread pizzas. 

Remember when you were younger and could eat anything that was put in front of you?  As a kid, my parents, when there was no snow on the ground, always said, “why don’t you go outside and play?”  And out we went – we would shoot hoops in the backyard, play ball on either our side yard or at the high school across the street, or, zip around the neighborhood on our bikes.  We were active, so the amount of food that we ate easily turned into fuel for our bodies to consume with our activities.  Growing up, we never ate fast food, which my brothers and I still adhere to in adulthood.  It was great, I used to eat everything in sight, which led to jokes being called Hoover or Exectrolux after the vacuum cleaners.  This lasted through college.  It was great to not have to worry about what I ate.  And then I went to work full time, where I sat at a desk, went home and stopped being as active.  We all know the story and as we get older, we see the impact.  I never heard of a daddy belly or a dad bod until I started to have one.  It is still about choices.

Seems like when we go on vacation or travel for work, we make choices based on convenience or thinking that it is OK to let things go for a week.  It is easy to slide back into the bad eating habits, because let’s face it, some of those less healthy foods taste so good!  My travel eating choices, especially when I am on my own, are all on my shoulders.  Burger and a beer, pizza and a beer, beer and some wings – all tasty.  By the end of this last week, I had more than my fill of carbs and added to my waistline – I did not make healthy choices.  Though my palette was happy, my stomach was not.  My simple test is to stand tall and look downward past my belly to see what I can see.  If I see my feet, all is good.  Of course, looking in the mirror might give me a different perspective.  Eating is important and to enjoy what we eat is a bonus.  Our choices, however, are ours to make.

We Have A Substitute Teacher!

I am sure that we all have stories about our elementary and middle school substitute teachers.  Come on – you remember…right?  You would walk into the classroom and for whatever reason, your regular teacher was absent.  Everyone would sit in a different seat, spitballs would be flying through the air and that wad of wet toilet paper would find its way to attach to the chalkboard (yes, my time was way before smart boards).  I remember we referred to a teacher as Mrs. Head, because we thought her head was rather large.  Of course, while trick or treating later that year, we found out that she lived across the street from one of our friends and was a really nice lady…we instantly felt bad about what we had done.  Most of the time, word did get back to our teachers and to our parents.  Now that my daughter is a teacher, last year she had to handle a class that acted that way when she was absent.

Looking back as an adult, we were just out to have a little fun and take advantage of the situation.  In hindsight, we were wrong and being mean spirited to someone that was doing their job and helping us.  As kids, we should know better, but have not fully learned restraint.  Hiding behind the old adage, “when the cats are away the mice will play” is not an excuse.  Unfortunately, there are times where we are in situations where adults act similarly.  With children, you can give them an extra assignment, have them write an essay on how to treat people or give them detention.  But, what can one do to adults, where an assignment, essay or detention can not be administered?  I spent the last two weeks in meeting with adults and when breaktime was over, they went back to their seats and were fully engaged.  I teach adults and do not have an issue.  But in both cases, while I was an unknown person, I was not treated like a substitute.

OK, I get it.  One of the emotions that we continue to have is being excited.  This gets us charged up, an opportunity to push boundaries (whether consciously or not) and show passion.  There is an old adage – he who controls the agenda, controls the meeting.  Looking back over the many years, most of our substitute teachers did not walk into the classroom and take control.  Do not get me wrong, there were some substitute teachers that were able to walk in and control the classrooms; those were the ones you were always happy to have and looked forward to seeing.  I never apologized to Mrs. Head or the others that our classes took advantage of.  As an adult, I hope that I would act better today, put myself in her shoes and realize what it takes to step in.  After all, at 56, I would hope that I would know better.

Where Were You?

“I remember where I was…” was a comment my mother made.  The reference, for her, was where she was when President Kennedy was shot.  We were living at the time in an apartment in Fort Lee, NJ.  She said that it was surreal because when it was announced, everyone went out into the courtyard, feeling kind of lost but looking for other people to be around, whether they knew them or not.  This was a story that I heard a number of times growing up, generally around the end of November near the anniversary of the shooting of our 35^th President.  I still remember her saying that and never really understood it.

On September 11, 2001, two planes brought down both of the World Trade Center towers.  I remember when I heard about it.  I was at a client in Bristol, Virginia, walking through the lunch room and heading into a meeting.  There was a small television where they were just announcing the breaking news that a plane just hit the Trade Center.  At the time, I was thinking that this happened before when a plane hit the Empire State Building in 1945.  A short time later, someone came into the meeting to tell us that the second tower was hit and the Towers collapsed.  I immediately called home and my family was safe.  My brother was working downtown in one of the nearby Trade Center Buildings.  I called his cell phone – there was no answer.  I immediately called Debbie, who could not contact him either, as the phones were out.  There was no way of knowing if he was safe or not.  My wife called a short time later and told me she spoke to his girlfriend.  My brother was in Delaware playing golf with some clients.  I cannot tell you how relieved I was.

We were lucky.  We all know people that were not so lucky and lost a loved one, knew someone that was lucky to not be in the building at the time or were involved in the cleanup.  The greater New York area was greatly impacted.  All plane travel was cancelled.  If I was not already at a hotel, I would not have been able to get room, as everyone was frantically driving north to get home.  I drove home a few days later and came home to people that were afraid to travel, go to New York and cross bridges.  A few days later, I needed to be in Atlanta for a meeting.  The airports had re-opened, were empty and crawling with military personnel for protection.  Debbie was not happy that I had to travel, but it was safe and easy.  That flight was the last time I would be able to check-in at the gate.  The world had changed, air travel would never be the same and an attack on US soil became real.  Last week was the 9/11 anniversary and we still share where we were and what we were doing.  I now understood why my mother always told her story of where she was.