A Minor Milestone

I know that nobody will ever mistake me for a bodybuilder, an athlete, nor a sports-minded individual.  I am good with that and I am not about to completely change what I do.  However, it is nice to note that in a small accomplishment, I have reached a minor milestone, but one that I continue to keep pushing forward on.  I am talking only about exercising in my own home.

Over the course of my life, there have been many times where I considered exercising or doing any kind of physical activities.  My parents used to tell me that when I was young, I used to like to run.  I am not sure what happened…at some point I found myself in the section of clothes for “chubby” boys.  Because of my weight gain, I became a couch potato.  I did join soccer around that time, but I refused to run.  Needless to say, bad habits began to build.  At some point in high school, I had a growth spurt and my weight readjusted; the same weight was now on a taller body.  I liked playing basketball and a friend said we should try out for the High School team.  When I found out it included running, I did not even try out.  I had no confidence in myself.  Having to go to the gym where my peers would be weight lifting?  My stick arms and me bowed out, afraid to appear weak and wimpy (forget the image of a bespectacled band geek).

As I got older, I played pick up basketball with friends.  I was still afraid of the gym until Debbie started to go.  I went and realized that I was not the only “weak” one there.  I had reached a point in my life where I started to realize the value of exercise – ANY TYPE of exercise.  After many fits and starts, excuses on traveling and all other made up barriers, I finally found an app that had a variety of options.  I realized that I did not have to run, lift weights or take on other challenges.  After one or two false starts, I have now exercised for 96 straight weeks and have just passed the 900^th exercise.  If I miss a week, I go back to zero.  That ended up being a strong motivator.  I now exercise 4 to 5 times a week, including stretching or doing yoga.  I know that I am not going to break any records, look like Mr. America or run a marathon.  However, by being diligent and setting some goals, I am striving to be healthier and adhere to healthier habits.  Yes, it takes time and effort, but at the end of the day, I feel better about myself and what I have been doing.

…And So Ends the High Holiday Season

4 weeks and an additional 10 services across five Holidays (Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah) has come to a close.  This is an extremely busy time of the year in the Jewish world: We start the New Year, repent, celebrate the crossing of the desert (after leaving Egypt) and receiving the Torah (we end and restart).  There have been days for fressen (Yiddish for eating like there is no tomorrow), fasting and festivities.  During these High Holy Days, we reflect, contemplate, ask for forgiveness and start over.  And then…they are over and life goes back to normal.

Or do they?  Or, should they?

Since I have been a child, these have been the days to see people who I have not seen throughout the year. Because Rose Hashanah and Yom Kippur are such important holidays, these are the few times a year that some people will go to services.  Believe me, no matter what you believe in, an opportunity to have a clean slate, spiritually, emotionally or physically is a HUGE draw! 

Some of my personal take-aways:

·      Saddest moment – We read about Moses and all the great things that he did.  He is the ultimate heroic figure in the Torah, with the ability to accomplish big feats, lead / create a nation that has endured and ultimately was very human.  This is the time where we relive his final days, and using the analogy from a Western, our favorite hero rides off into the sunset.

·     Meaningful moment – There is a portion of the Yom Kippur service called Neilah, where the Aron Kodesh (ark) remains open.  This is where the Torah “resides.”  We have a chance to stand in front, symbolically face Hashem whose presence (Shechinah) can be felt, to give our last appeals and pray for the future year, before he closes the ledger on our lives for the upcoming year.  It is a powerful moment.

I find it interesting that we focus our energies into this holiday, as every other religion does on their holiest, most meaningful days.  We all talk about living with each other, while history teaches of wiping out our enemies (so there can be no revenge).  We ask forgiveness for our actions, whether person-to-person, to a higher authority or in commitments we make to ourselves.  Yet, within a few weeks of self-reflection, feeling good about our decision and looking towards a better future, we fall back into our old ways.  “We are only human, Wayne,” is not an excuse.  Because it is easier?  I would sooner agree with that.  It is simple to commit to being better, but not easy to execute, as that means it takes work.  Remember, working towards something positive is worth the effort, provides a sense of accomplishment and inspires other.  As entrepreneur, author and motivational speaker Jim Rohn states, “Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better.”  Here’s to being better.

Facing Our Day Head On, No Matter What We See In Front of Us

Wouldn’t it be great to wake up one morning and have everything go your way or to have an idea, desire or goal to automatically manifest itself?  On top of this, there would be no barriers or push backs to success.  Although this sounds wonderful, a few issues come to mind: no lessons will be learned and there will be no opportunities to improve upon.

In the classic television show, The Twilight Zone, there is an episode called, “A Nice Place to Visit.”  In the story, the main character, Rocky, is greeted by a man named Pip (played by Sebastian Cabot) who informs Rocky that his job is to provide whatever the man desired.  As the main character later realizes, getting everything you want can be boring because you do not have to do anything to get what you want.  This is a great episode with a typical Rod Serling twist.  One of the “lessons” in this story is that if we are handed everything on a silver platter and we have not put out any effort, life does not have meaning.  We need to have challenges in our lives, goals to accomplish and be active in pursuing our dreams.  To attain these, it is almost a guarantee that barriers pop up along the way to either distract us or prohibit our progress, causing things to not go our way. 

There is the old Yiddish saying, “Mench tracht un gut lached” (Man plans / thinks and G-d laughs).  The related phase is “The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray.”  Basically, no matter what we do, there is a chance that something we did not account for, something beyond our control, or something was missed when setting out to do things.  Our options are to ignore, keep moving on, or address it head on.  While ignoring seems like a valid option, sticking one’s head in the sand only means that when you come up for air, the issue is still staring you in the face.  Keeping on moving forward, while seeming to make sense, could work out.  However, like the piece of toilet paper stuck to your shoe, that related issue might follow you wherever you go.  The best solution is to address it head on.  Most of the time, we do not want to do this – this means we are facing our fears, might have to put ourselves in an uncomfortable situation and deal with the unexpected.  But once we face these head on, we find ourselves back on track and have gained something positive in the process.

If we woke up every morning and everything went our way, wouldn’t that be great?  We would never have the opportunity to learn, we would never have the chance for personal development, we would never face our challenges and would never gain the benefits that come with personal achievements.  As great as the idea seems, I will gladly face the day head on, embrace the unexpected and enjoy whatever comes my way.

Old Men Rocking

For Debbie and me, this has been a bonanza year for seeing musicians we always wanted to see and bands we never saw before.  OK – it was more like watching a series of senior citizen acts.  But I have to tell you, for people ranging in age from late 60’s into their 80’s, these people still have it.

This last week, I saw two concerts (one without Debbie) that were from the same era and influential in their own ways.  The first one, which I saw with my old friend Marty (yes, knowing people 40 years makes them old friends), was Herb Alert.  While he no longer tours with the Tijuana Brass, he has a great combo of jazz musicians and tours with his wife (who sang with Sergio Mendez and Brazil 66).  At 84, he still walks confidently onto the stage and still plays well.  He did a medley or two covering the hits from the Tijuana Brass and ventured off onto the songs he wanted to play and improvise on.  As a multi-Grammy winner (including one in 2013 for best instrumental album), he was filling stadiums in the 1960’s, had hit records against the era of The Beatles and had an even bigger impact by being the “A” in highly successful record label, A&M.

The second concert, which I saw with Debbie, was one of her all-time favorite bands – The Rolling Stones.  It is not unusual for musicians, as they age, to slow down their music, be more efficient in their approach and potentially relax more on stage.  Later in his career, B.B. King sat while he played.  I saw Jerry Lee Lewis play years ago when he was in his 50’s and Great Balls of Fire was played as a ballad.  At 76 and having undergone heart surgery earlier this year, Mick Jagger still runs, struts and has “the moves like Jagger.”  The rest of the band still cranks out the Rock and Roll and keeps a pace rivaling back to their younger years.  Their approach to music, performing and being labeled “The World’s Greatest Rock and Roll Band,” has set the standard for what defines a Rock musician.  And as 55+ year veterans, it is now what one can still do and what one can enjoy, no matter how old you get.

Aside from great music played by legendary musicians, what was my take away from the past week?  Herb Alpert commented that in most cases, people do not remember the songs played, but the feeling that they get after going to a concert.  In both cases:

·         They have been popular acts for as long as I have been on this planet. 

·         As senior citizens, they both still pursue their passions

·         They are all living life to the fullest, even into the 80’s, and can still be relevant

·         In the Stones case, adversity and illness has not stopped them from doing what they enjoy

It is easiest to reach a point in one’s life and “retire” from our passions, our dreams and our desires.  The “senior” musicians I saw showed the impact of overcoming roadblocks, working towards a healthy lifestyle and striving to be at your peak at whatever point you are at in your life.  They make no excuses for going out and living each and every day to their fullest.

On Being President

I have to confess – being a president of an organization is not easy.  Keep in mind the plaque that Harry S Truman used to display, “The buck stops here.”  When things go well, it is great: you are happy to point out those who achieved, there is a sense of pride in the group that you are leading, a feeling that you can accomplish anything and a general aura of happiness.  When things go less than well, it is not so great: there is no one else to blame, there is a feeling of the weight of the world on your shoulders, the thoughts swirling in your head that you backed yourself into a corner and a general feeling of disappointment.  In either case, you still have to go out with a smile on, say the words to encourage others to attain their best and continue to strive for goals and objectives.  The role comes with no set hours, no physical office and plenty of opinions.

OK, I framed this as being the president of the Jewish Community Center of Paramus / Congregation Beth Tikvah.  I could have swapped out the word president for leader…or head of household…or manager…or any other leadership title.  Sure – the size of the group / organization, the number of people involved, the magnitude of the decisions are different, there is a varying level of stress related to them and the number of eyes that watch your every move differ; it is still the case where others look to you to…lead.  While all leaders have different personalities, different methods and different ways of relating, the role is anything but passive.  This is an active role, where you need to be on your best game most of the time.  As a parent, you have to lead your family in life, teach your children the virtues that will help them in their lives and manage a household.  Any leadership role has a component of guiding others, providing some form of education and management.  In all related situations, it is how you react, how you handle yourself and how you communicate to others that matters.

I was once taught that good leaders are in the front of the group that they lead (yes, like they sing in Peter Pan, “we’re following the leader…”), rather than standing in the back and dictating where everyone should go.  The importance is doing, as most people observe by watching what others do and how they react.  There is the story about Mahatma Gandhi, where a mother brings her son to the famous and says, “Can you tell my son to not eat sweets.”  Gandhi looked at the boy and said to the mother come back next week.  The following week, the mother did as she was instructed and once again stood before this great man and says, “Can you tell my son to not eat sweets.”  Gandhi looked at the boy and told him to stop eating sweets.  Dumbfounded, the mother asks why he could not say that last; to which Gandhi replied, “Last week, I was eating sweets.”  The lesson is simple, never ask someone to do something that you yourself are not willing to do nor have not done before.  Leaders lead.

Vince Lombardi said, “Leaders are made, they are not born. They are made by hard effort, which is the price all of us must pay to achieve any goal that is worthwhile!”  He is right – there is a lot of hard work that happens.  There was hard work prior to taking on the role.  There is hard work that is on-going.  There is still hard work ahead.  The time spent reading, learning and developing relationships and discussing ideas set the groundwork.  Continuing to paint visions, continuing to build relationships and constantly re-evaluating and learning from every action / reaction helps us to learn from the past to move forward.  This has been a learning experience and has taken many more hours than I would have thought.  As I have reached the end of my first year and started the second year, I am happy with the journey, thankful for my family and their support, appreciative for the help / advice of many friends (old and new) and truly happy for the community which I, for a temporary point in time, have been given leadership.  It is truly about the communities we live in.  Helen Keller said it well when she said, “Alone, we can do so little; together, we can do so much.”

Creativity on Pause?

After 297 blog posts, starting late in 2013, posting every Monday – Have I run out of new thoughts, ideas and experiences to write about?  In that time, I have missed only two weeks and that was within the last couple of months.  I like the creative outlet, the chance to share thoughts, and to journal my world.  As we went into last weekend, I did not have an article prepared.  Well, not ready would be more like it.  I had started the article, the topic was relevant (to my life), but the execution was not meaningful.  My main editor as of late (that would be Gab) asked why I did not have a backlog of articles.  There are times when I have a backlog, depending on my creative flow of thoughts. 

It would seem, at least to me, that there are times where we are engaged in certain things / activities and at some point, after years or some significant time, we want to take a step back and re-evaluate where we are at, where we are going, and the overall value of what we are doing.  I guess one way to visualize this thought is to see the way athletes’ function, who during their careers are in peak physical condition and shortly after they retire, so do their bodies.  I saw this with my grandfather – he was in the food business and had a fantastic sense of taste.  Then he decided to retire, and shortly afterwards his taste buds decided to follow the same course, as fine dining was replaced by mediocre buffets.  To maintain the same high level / standards, it requires diligence, persistence and consistency which takes energy and time. 

I started writing to fulfill something that I had always wanted to do, but never had a fully fleshed out an idea enough to be a book.  This shorter form, blogging, met that desire and still brings me pleasure.  OK, the creative pictures that I include also fulfill that creative notion.  Having missed a week, nobody noticed…which means that if I stop, would anyone say anything?  Truth is, I would notice.  I enjoy sharing my thoughts, I enjoy the challenge that this signifies to me and I enjoy the fact that I can point to something I have done consistently.

Jascha Heifetz, considered amongst one of the greatest violinists, is also known for saying, “If I don't practice one day, I know it; two days, the critics know it; three days, the public knows it.”  The fact that he acknowledges himself first in the list shows the integrity of his approach towards his art and ability.  While it is easy to take a break, step back or go on hiatus, it is easier to remain idle than to start up again.  The old example of a steam engine – where there is an immense amount of energy expended to start the train moving, so much so that a rock on the track could stop the entire process.  But, once in motion, that same train will crush through anything in its way while using little energy.  That is the power of momentum.  While I missed last week, it was merely a bump in the road and now it is back to doing what I enjoy.

…And It’s Time to Say Goodbye

Saying goodbye can be one of the hardest things to do; Especially after you have been someplace for a long time.  Let us face it, change of any sort is not easy, even coming from someone who talks about change, works with change and understands the benefits of change.  No matter how difficult the decision might be and the emotional feelings surrounding that decision, sometimes it is time for a change.  The truth is, it is better to be the one who decides the change than to have the change occur and wonder what happened.  It is always good to move the cheese rather than to wonder who moved it.

For me, I am leaving the company that I have worked at for 16 years – 5 and a half as a consultant and 10 and a half as an employee.  It has been a “good gig.”  I had some goals that I was striving for, some projects that I wanted to achieve and to help the users I worked with move towards better systems.  After 16 years, it is time to strive for new goals, face new challenges and help other people / companies achieve their goals.  I leave on a high note, successfully completing my last international project.  Some of the highlights during my time at ITG:

·        I worked with some good people and made new friends

·        I reached some personal achievements / goals

·        I completely revamped the internal financial systems by implementing world class software

·        I managed international project teams

·        I worked with quality third party partners

As timing is everything, it is fitting that this happens in December.  We have reached the end of the year.  A year filled with many good things and accomplishments.  And as always, whether planned or not, changes occurred.  In the middle of the year, I was elected the president of my synagogue, which has had its challenges and has been exciting thus far.  By moving on from ITG, I know that there will be challenges ahead, but what better way to end the year with the expectation of the next journey ahead, the new opportunities and the excitement of something new. 

2018 has been a good year.  I hope that you all enter into 2019 looking forward to attaining your goals and dreams in the new year.  Happy New Year!

Inspiration Move Me Brightly

I was once taught in a seminar, by author and speaker Chris Widener, the difference between motivation and inspiration.  Motivation, he explained, was what we can bring onto ourselves or the general desire to do something; while inspiration is something that comes externally or being stimulated to do something.  His underlying point was that you cannot motivate someone else to do something, but you can inspire them to become motivated. 

I recently heard Rabbi Joseph Telushkin speak regarding thoughts on ethics.  I was inspired by his talk regarding the use of language and the meaning behind the words we use have an important impact.    This motivated me to start thinking about the words that I use and to educate myself better on this topic.  While I am generally an optimistic person, I have begun to notice whether or not the words I use communicate a positive message.  And it could be simple words or phrases I have always used.  For example, Zig Ziglar points out, in his recordings, that we refer to a traffic light as a stop light instead of a go light.  Chris Widener uses the example of waking up to an alarm (negative connotation) clock.  Rabbi Telushkin’s example was how we strive for deadlines, instead of due dates.

As a musician, I have not hidden the fact that I am in the process of teaching myself the banjo.  I have spent time listening to the great Earl Scruggs.  His breakthrough techniques elevated the instrument.  And then, I saw Bela Fleck…He provided inspiration to this fledgling banjo picker when I watched him play Chick Corea’s “Spain” (great piece on its own).  I was motivated in that the banjo, while a great rhythm instrument, can be used as a lead one as well.  Even just seeing talented musicians provides motivation for me regarding on how one can extend one’s ability to create something new (which is why I like improv).  We had a chance to see the Andy Statman Trio this past week.  Andy is a phenomenal clarinet and mandolin player (yes, I did tell him I might have to learn the mandolin next), but when coupled with drummer Larry Eagle and upright bass player Jim Whitney, the three easily produce great music, to inspire aspiring musicians.

Between Rabbi Telushkin and the Andy Statman Trio, there was a lot of inspiration flowing my way this week.  It is up to me, however, to transform that which excited me into motivation to action a takeaway for myself.  What has inspired you this past week?  Month?  Year?