Old Men Rocking

For Debbie and me, this has been a bonanza year for seeing musicians we always wanted to see and bands we never saw before.  OK – it was more like watching a series of senior citizen acts.  But I have to tell you, for people ranging in age from late 60’s into their 80’s, these people still have it.

This last week, I saw two concerts (one without Debbie) that were from the same era and influential in their own ways.  The first one, which I saw with my old friend Marty (yes, knowing people 40 years makes them old friends), was Herb Alert.  While he no longer tours with the Tijuana Brass, he has a great combo of jazz musicians and tours with his wife (who sang with Sergio Mendez and Brazil 66).  At 84, he still walks confidently onto the stage and still plays well.  He did a medley or two covering the hits from the Tijuana Brass and ventured off onto the songs he wanted to play and improvise on.  As a multi-Grammy winner (including one in 2013 for best instrumental album), he was filling stadiums in the 1960’s, had hit records against the era of The Beatles and had an even bigger impact by being the “A” in highly successful record label, A&M.

The second concert, which I saw with Debbie, was one of her all-time favorite bands – The Rolling Stones.  It is not unusual for musicians, as they age, to slow down their music, be more efficient in their approach and potentially relax more on stage.  Later in his career, B.B. King sat while he played.  I saw Jerry Lee Lewis play years ago when he was in his 50’s and Great Balls of Fire was played as a ballad.  At 76 and having undergone heart surgery earlier this year, Mick Jagger still runs, struts and has “the moves like Jagger.”  The rest of the band still cranks out the Rock and Roll and keeps a pace rivaling back to their younger years.  Their approach to music, performing and being labeled “The World’s Greatest Rock and Roll Band,” has set the standard for what defines a Rock musician.  And as 55+ year veterans, it is now what one can still do and what one can enjoy, no matter how old you get.

Aside from great music played by legendary musicians, what was my take away from the past week?  Herb Alpert commented that in most cases, people do not remember the songs played, but the feeling that they get after going to a concert.  In both cases:

·         They have been popular acts for as long as I have been on this planet. 

·         As senior citizens, they both still pursue their passions

·         They are all living life to the fullest, even into the 80’s, and can still be relevant

·         In the Stones case, adversity and illness has not stopped them from doing what they enjoy

It is easiest to reach a point in one’s life and “retire” from our passions, our dreams and our desires.  The “senior” musicians I saw showed the impact of overcoming roadblocks, working towards a healthy lifestyle and striving to be at your peak at whatever point you are at in your life.  They make no excuses for going out and living each and every day to their fullest.

Am I Ready to Live in Florida?

Debbie and I were in Florida tending to my aunt’s estate.  The weather was hot and humid…OK, not much different from back home.  My aunt’s condo is a large three-bedroom home, with a parking space right outside the door.  This is a big enough living space to be very comfortable (no room for the band though).  My aunt chose a great community, everyone was friendly and they have many great social activities planned every month.  For someone that could not sit still, she chose well.

Coming from the New York area, life is quick paced.  Walking to and from the subway, it is easy to identify the tourists (sorry, but this is true).  We recently saw on an episode of Chopped, the final two competitors, one from New York and one from California.  The judges commented on the focus of the chefs, the one from California moved slower and laid back, while the one from New York moved quicker and was accomplishing more things in the same time.  This encapsulated the differences between the coasts.  However, I realize, by watching my own father that the older you become, the slower you move – that is a fact (for most people) of aging.  Coupled with a more relaxed southern environment, as one ages, the pace works.  However, at this point in my life, this pace is a hard adjustment.

Let me share one example (yes, there are more) and that was going to the movies.  We went to a 23-screen theater.  As we walked up, there were two short ticket lines, one with about four people in line and one with only a couple.  Naturally, we took the shorter line.  First, there were hellos from the couple, not to us, but to the lady behind the glass.  Next, there was a discussion about the ticket prices (clearly posted).  Next, the man took out all of his money and began to rearrange and sort them…still no movie selected or payment occurred.  They pick a movie and then have a discussion on the different times showing.  Finally, he hands the money to the lady behind the glass.  I cannot believe this.  The ticket person double counts the change slowly, then hands the change back.  “Wait,” says the man, “One more thing.”  I cannot image what the one more thing is…and, as it happens, would never guess it.  He proceeds to take out his comb and takes three minutes to comb his hair in the reflection of the glass.  I am seething inside and Debbie is standing behind me laughing away.  My ticket transaction took less time than the hair combing.  Onto the concession line, where there are four buyers ahead of us.  There are three people behind the counter to service the line.  After a five-second discussion on what we wanted, Debbie heads off to the bathroom.  I notice that there is a couple towards the right side of the counter having a discussion with the seller…no concession items in front of them.  Debbie comes back; only one new customer moved up…I might be missing the beginning of the movie.  The couple, on the right, finally ordered one frosty looking drink and now is deciding on item number two.  They are calling for the next person in line, but they are not paying attention. I am trying to stay calm…”They sell beer here, do you need one to relax,” Debbie asks.  Finally, after 15 minutes waiting in line, it is our turn, we step up and I give my order.  The popcorn is being hand loaded by a small scoop.  I ask for extra salt and Debbie asks for butter on the side.  The response is a confused look. 

I am not ready for Florida!  I like to visit Florida.  I like to vacation in Florida.  But for now, I am not moving to Florida.  When the day comes that I move at a slower pace, when I am in no rush, and when my one or two activities are my ENTIRE day, I will think about the move to Florida.  I do not think that I suffer from a Peter Pan complex, but it is still good to think, feel and act young.  There might become a time in my life where the move will fit our life style, including the people and the family around us.  But for now, we are staying in New Jersey.

Retiring to Florida – Here I Come?

Sitting around with a group of friends, someone threw out the question, “Where are we all going to buy places near each other in Florida?” What?  I did not think I was at the point where I am even thinking of that, as we have our girls in college, I am still happily working, and do not consider myself that close to retirement.  Then the temperature dropped below freezing – I am not a fan of the very cold weather and the thought of Florida from that conversation popped into the back of my consciousness.  Then I headed down to Florida to visit my father, as I have not seen him since he left in October.  Immediately, I was happy to put on a pair of shorts and sandals.  The first day, I walked to the 19^th hole café on the grounds, saying hi to everyone I passed.  As I sat there, it dawned on me that I am eligible to become a resident in 2 years from now, but as I looked around, it was very apparent that I was a guest by the vast difference of the ages between everyone else and me.  Am I ready for this lifestyle?

I think that I have been to Florida most years since I was a teenager.  I watched as my grandparents rented an apartment one or two months, then eventually bought a place.  My other grandparents always rented.  As time moved forward, and one generation lived only in our hearts and memories, my father and his peers began to make the annual trek to the warmer climates.  It has been the ongoing joke, you move to Florida and immediately you have the urge to eat dinners at 4:00, which makes room for the fourth meal after the early show.  Most of our friends have parents that spend time in Florida.  A few weeks ago, we were at a birthday party and someone said they preferred the Carolinas to Florida and found a senior community they like.  This has become the circle of life?  Queue Sir Elton John and the popular Disney theme song.  Show the baby, go to school, work, raise a family, and retire to Florida.

As I sat there eating my food, I watched an aide wheel a resident with her son.  “Mama, you want roast beef?” he asked.  In a small voice, she asked what else they had.  “Turkey.  How about a roast beef sandwich,” he yelled.  Again, the tiny voice asked what they had.  The aide moved in close to her ear and yelled ROAST BEEF SANDWICH, to which the resigned older lady said in her tiny voice, “I will have roast beef.”  I heard her speak, but it seems as if she was no longer allowed to have a “voice”.  I finished up and looked around.  All good people, all elderly, all still able to get out, but there was no doubt about where some of them are in their circle of life.  I paid my bill and I walked out shaking my head.  I like the weather, but am not ready to be here, in this place, yet.  A potential future? Yes. For now, I am happy to visit, enjoy the weather and return to New Jersey.  The day will come, but happily, not for many years.