Facing Our Day Head On, No Matter What We See In Front of Us

Wouldn’t it be great to wake up one morning and have everything go your way or to have an idea, desire or goal to automatically manifest itself?  On top of this, there would be no barriers or push backs to success.  Although this sounds wonderful, a few issues come to mind: no lessons will be learned and there will be no opportunities to improve upon.

In the classic television show, The Twilight Zone, there is an episode called, “A Nice Place to Visit.”  In the story, the main character, Rocky, is greeted by a man named Pip (played by Sebastian Cabot) who informs Rocky that his job is to provide whatever the man desired.  As the main character later realizes, getting everything you want can be boring because you do not have to do anything to get what you want.  This is a great episode with a typical Rod Serling twist.  One of the “lessons” in this story is that if we are handed everything on a silver platter and we have not put out any effort, life does not have meaning.  We need to have challenges in our lives, goals to accomplish and be active in pursuing our dreams.  To attain these, it is almost a guarantee that barriers pop up along the way to either distract us or prohibit our progress, causing things to not go our way. 

There is the old Yiddish saying, “Mench tracht un gut lached” (Man plans / thinks and G-d laughs).  The related phase is “The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray.”  Basically, no matter what we do, there is a chance that something we did not account for, something beyond our control, or something was missed when setting out to do things.  Our options are to ignore, keep moving on, or address it head on.  While ignoring seems like a valid option, sticking one’s head in the sand only means that when you come up for air, the issue is still staring you in the face.  Keeping on moving forward, while seeming to make sense, could work out.  However, like the piece of toilet paper stuck to your shoe, that related issue might follow you wherever you go.  The best solution is to address it head on.  Most of the time, we do not want to do this – this means we are facing our fears, might have to put ourselves in an uncomfortable situation and deal with the unexpected.  But once we face these head on, we find ourselves back on track and have gained something positive in the process.

If we woke up every morning and everything went our way, wouldn’t that be great?  We would never have the opportunity to learn, we would never have the chance for personal development, we would never face our challenges and would never gain the benefits that come with personal achievements.  As great as the idea seems, I will gladly face the day head on, embrace the unexpected and enjoy whatever comes my way.

Old Men Rocking

For Debbie and me, this has been a bonanza year for seeing musicians we always wanted to see and bands we never saw before.  OK – it was more like watching a series of senior citizen acts.  But I have to tell you, for people ranging in age from late 60’s into their 80’s, these people still have it.

This last week, I saw two concerts (one without Debbie) that were from the same era and influential in their own ways.  The first one, which I saw with my old friend Marty (yes, knowing people 40 years makes them old friends), was Herb Alert.  While he no longer tours with the Tijuana Brass, he has a great combo of jazz musicians and tours with his wife (who sang with Sergio Mendez and Brazil 66).  At 84, he still walks confidently onto the stage and still plays well.  He did a medley or two covering the hits from the Tijuana Brass and ventured off onto the songs he wanted to play and improvise on.  As a multi-Grammy winner (including one in 2013 for best instrumental album), he was filling stadiums in the 1960’s, had hit records against the era of The Beatles and had an even bigger impact by being the “A” in highly successful record label, A&M.

The second concert, which I saw with Debbie, was one of her all-time favorite bands – The Rolling Stones.  It is not unusual for musicians, as they age, to slow down their music, be more efficient in their approach and potentially relax more on stage.  Later in his career, B.B. King sat while he played.  I saw Jerry Lee Lewis play years ago when he was in his 50’s and Great Balls of Fire was played as a ballad.  At 76 and having undergone heart surgery earlier this year, Mick Jagger still runs, struts and has “the moves like Jagger.”  The rest of the band still cranks out the Rock and Roll and keeps a pace rivaling back to their younger years.  Their approach to music, performing and being labeled “The World’s Greatest Rock and Roll Band,” has set the standard for what defines a Rock musician.  And as 55+ year veterans, it is now what one can still do and what one can enjoy, no matter how old you get.

Aside from great music played by legendary musicians, what was my take away from the past week?  Herb Alpert commented that in most cases, people do not remember the songs played, but the feeling that they get after going to a concert.  In both cases:

·         They have been popular acts for as long as I have been on this planet. 

·         As senior citizens, they both still pursue their passions

·         They are all living life to the fullest, even into the 80’s, and can still be relevant

·         In the Stones case, adversity and illness has not stopped them from doing what they enjoy

It is easiest to reach a point in one’s life and “retire” from our passions, our dreams and our desires.  The “senior” musicians I saw showed the impact of overcoming roadblocks, working towards a healthy lifestyle and striving to be at your peak at whatever point you are at in your life.  They make no excuses for going out and living each and every day to their fullest.

On Being President

I have to confess – being a president of an organization is not easy.  Keep in mind the plaque that Harry S Truman used to display, “The buck stops here.”  When things go well, it is great: you are happy to point out those who achieved, there is a sense of pride in the group that you are leading, a feeling that you can accomplish anything and a general aura of happiness.  When things go less than well, it is not so great: there is no one else to blame, there is a feeling of the weight of the world on your shoulders, the thoughts swirling in your head that you backed yourself into a corner and a general feeling of disappointment.  In either case, you still have to go out with a smile on, say the words to encourage others to attain their best and continue to strive for goals and objectives.  The role comes with no set hours, no physical office and plenty of opinions.

OK, I framed this as being the president of the Jewish Community Center of Paramus / Congregation Beth Tikvah.  I could have swapped out the word president for leader…or head of household…or manager…or any other leadership title.  Sure – the size of the group / organization, the number of people involved, the magnitude of the decisions are different, there is a varying level of stress related to them and the number of eyes that watch your every move differ; it is still the case where others look to you to…lead.  While all leaders have different personalities, different methods and different ways of relating, the role is anything but passive.  This is an active role, where you need to be on your best game most of the time.  As a parent, you have to lead your family in life, teach your children the virtues that will help them in their lives and manage a household.  Any leadership role has a component of guiding others, providing some form of education and management.  In all related situations, it is how you react, how you handle yourself and how you communicate to others that matters.

I was once taught that good leaders are in the front of the group that they lead (yes, like they sing in Peter Pan, “we’re following the leader…”), rather than standing in the back and dictating where everyone should go.  The importance is doing, as most people observe by watching what others do and how they react.  There is the story about Mahatma Gandhi, where a mother brings her son to the famous and says, “Can you tell my son to not eat sweets.”  Gandhi looked at the boy and said to the mother come back next week.  The following week, the mother did as she was instructed and once again stood before this great man and says, “Can you tell my son to not eat sweets.”  Gandhi looked at the boy and told him to stop eating sweets.  Dumbfounded, the mother asks why he could not say that last; to which Gandhi replied, “Last week, I was eating sweets.”  The lesson is simple, never ask someone to do something that you yourself are not willing to do nor have not done before.  Leaders lead.

Vince Lombardi said, “Leaders are made, they are not born. They are made by hard effort, which is the price all of us must pay to achieve any goal that is worthwhile!”  He is right – there is a lot of hard work that happens.  There was hard work prior to taking on the role.  There is hard work that is on-going.  There is still hard work ahead.  The time spent reading, learning and developing relationships and discussing ideas set the groundwork.  Continuing to paint visions, continuing to build relationships and constantly re-evaluating and learning from every action / reaction helps us to learn from the past to move forward.  This has been a learning experience and has taken many more hours than I would have thought.  As I have reached the end of my first year and started the second year, I am happy with the journey, thankful for my family and their support, appreciative for the help / advice of many friends (old and new) and truly happy for the community which I, for a temporary point in time, have been given leadership.  It is truly about the communities we live in.  Helen Keller said it well when she said, “Alone, we can do so little; together, we can do so much.”

Creativity on Pause?

After 297 blog posts, starting late in 2013, posting every Monday – Have I run out of new thoughts, ideas and experiences to write about?  In that time, I have missed only two weeks and that was within the last couple of months.  I like the creative outlet, the chance to share thoughts, and to journal my world.  As we went into last weekend, I did not have an article prepared.  Well, not ready would be more like it.  I had started the article, the topic was relevant (to my life), but the execution was not meaningful.  My main editor as of late (that would be Gab) asked why I did not have a backlog of articles.  There are times when I have a backlog, depending on my creative flow of thoughts. 

It would seem, at least to me, that there are times where we are engaged in certain things / activities and at some point, after years or some significant time, we want to take a step back and re-evaluate where we are at, where we are going, and the overall value of what we are doing.  I guess one way to visualize this thought is to see the way athletes’ function, who during their careers are in peak physical condition and shortly after they retire, so do their bodies.  I saw this with my grandfather – he was in the food business and had a fantastic sense of taste.  Then he decided to retire, and shortly afterwards his taste buds decided to follow the same course, as fine dining was replaced by mediocre buffets.  To maintain the same high level / standards, it requires diligence, persistence and consistency which takes energy and time. 

I started writing to fulfill something that I had always wanted to do, but never had a fully fleshed out an idea enough to be a book.  This shorter form, blogging, met that desire and still brings me pleasure.  OK, the creative pictures that I include also fulfill that creative notion.  Having missed a week, nobody noticed…which means that if I stop, would anyone say anything?  Truth is, I would notice.  I enjoy sharing my thoughts, I enjoy the challenge that this signifies to me and I enjoy the fact that I can point to something I have done consistently.

Jascha Heifetz, considered amongst one of the greatest violinists, is also known for saying, “If I don't practice one day, I know it; two days, the critics know it; three days, the public knows it.”  The fact that he acknowledges himself first in the list shows the integrity of his approach towards his art and ability.  While it is easy to take a break, step back or go on hiatus, it is easier to remain idle than to start up again.  The old example of a steam engine – where there is an immense amount of energy expended to start the train moving, so much so that a rock on the track could stop the entire process.  But, once in motion, that same train will crush through anything in its way while using little energy.  That is the power of momentum.  While I missed last week, it was merely a bump in the road and now it is back to doing what I enjoy.

Mental Realignment

Years ago, I went to a chiropractor for a brief period of time.  One of the reasons for going was out of curiosity.  I had heard about the benefits regarding alignment of the vertebrae in one’s back.  I went a handful of time for the re-alignment, then realized, that for at least me, there were no additional benefits at that time.  When you think of it, even the vehicles that we drive, occasionally need a tire alignment.  Over time, a vehicles’ tires need to be realigned (and rebalanced) to help optimize performance and tire wear.  As we move through time and space, I began to realize that we occasionally need time to realign our mental abilities, thoughts and processes.

Unless we are perennially at a standstill, we will continue to take on many experiences, challenges and daily activities.  Between family life, work, volunteering, hobbies, etc., there is a bountiful amount of activities afoot.  The ability to segment each portion of our lives into distinct timeframes becomes important so that we can focus, at any given planned moment, on the activity before us.  When that activity finishes, we mentally store that away until next time, bringing forth and into focus the next activity we are engaging in.  It is the same as partitioning one’s day appropriately and focusing on that task for a given time (i.e., exercise in the morning, work 9-5, family 5 – 8, volunteer 8-10, etc.) and why it is important to use an agenda, or calendar, of some sort, to organize our activities.  Can we keep everything in its place all of the time?

Maintaining times for each activity takes diligence and has to be a planned activity as well.  But what happens when an event occurs that demands more than the allotted time?  We have all had times where a crisis occurs, there is something new on the horizon or there are simply changes that need to be addressed.  Seemingly, all of a sudden, our brain power is taken up, pushing aside other thoughts / activities and mental focus.  Sometimes, we see this coming; other times, however, we realize it after the fact, because while it is occurring, our excess brain power has already been consumed.  Once identified, we must go through our own mental realignment, take the time to step back, evaluate where our time is spent, review the importance of what is consuming our mental time and adjust, or align, accordingly.  

Independence 2019

As the second half of the year begins, as Americans, we take one day, July 4^th, to step back and celebrate the birth of our great nation.  In many nations across the globe, there are many countries where the population is nationalistic, proud of their place of birth / origin and celebrate similarly every year.  For me, this is a day to celebrate the birth of our nation, parades take place and we spend time together as a family.  OK, in truth, this is really more than just a one-day celebration – there are celebrations on the weekends and fireworks presented by the neighboring towns over a bunch of nights.

For this year, as for the past many years, one of the ways that I look forward to celebrating our Independence Day is as clown in a local parade.  For about an hour and a half, I had one simple goal, spread happiness!  The group that I work with, Miles of Smiles, takes an interactive approach to parades – we do not march in the parade down the middle of the street, but walk along the sides, interacting with the people and high-fiving children of all ages.  It is about making them feel good, giving them a memory and adding to a positive experience.  For me, it is really a chance to live in the moment - I was able to not have to worry about making decisions, no thoughts regarding the issues of the day and no crises to avert.  That time in the parade was a series of small slices of time and watching a smile appear on someone else’s face.  Needless to say, by the end of the parade, I was tired.  Onto the next two events, in costume, of course. 

As we celebrated the 4^th, it really was a celebration about a nation that broke away from being a colony.  A country striking forward with new thoughts and new ideas for that time period.  We were to be a country without a king, but representative leadership selected by the population.  In a relatively small amount of time, aside from becoming a world power, we were able to lead in multiple areas of development, technology and thought.  We have many good, positive reasons to celebrate.  I hope that you all had a great 4^th of July.

When in Rome, Eat Pizza?

The travelers return home!

Bec has been home for almost a week now.  It has been great hearing her tell stories of her adventures of the past month – Israel, Greece, Italy, Belgium, The Netherlands, Germany, Poland and The Czech Republic.  While traveling, Bec and her friend, Jenn, figured out what apps to use on their phones to help navigate their way through each country and how to maximize their time.  One of the big takeaways that I learned was no matter where they went, no matter which country they were in, they spent time and palate on enjoying the local cuisines.  They did not look for the American fast food places that seem to have gone global but truly understood that each country has its own food offerings and tastes.

Some of their local culinary experiences included:

• In Israel, they enjoyed hummus, falafel, baklava, shawarma and local wines
• In Greece, they enjoyed tzatziki, souvlaki and moussaka
• In Italy, they enjoyed pasta, pizzas in different regions, gelato and local wines
• In Brussels, they found out it was the originator of the Fry, enjoyed liege waffles (what we call Belgium waffles), chocolate and beer
• In Amsterdam, they enjoyed a burger, Stroopwafel, bitterballen and croquettes
• In Germany, they tried the local bier, flammkuchen (one of Bec’s favorites), pretzels, schnitzels and chocolate
• In Poland, they enjoyed perogies and local beers.  Interesting thing, Bec does not like liver.  However, she had a perogy sampler plate and her favorite was chicken liver perogies and kasha – it just goes to show that you never know whether you like something or not until you taste it, as preparations are different wherever you go.
• In The Czech Republic, they enjoyed goulash and Trdelník, a pastry filled with fruit and cremes of your choice.

Yes, we can find many of these foods here in the US, but it is never the same nor as fresh tasting as from where they originate.  I often use the story of being in a deli in Dublin and seeing a “New York City Sandwich.”  First off, there is no sandwich called that (especially in New York City) and I am not even sure what was in the sandwich that was representative of NY.  That is similar to eating food here at a Chinese restaurant versus a local restaurant when I was in Hong Kong.  Not the same.  I am proud that the girls spent the time to eat locally.  It was an opportunity to try new foods, to understand the culture from a different point of view and to realize that people in different parts of the world, while the same as us in many ways, have different ways of culinary expression.  It is an important learning experience that follows the old phrase that starts, “When in Rome…”