I Hear You

 

“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” ~ Epictetus

Imagine that somebody makes you the leader. In other situations, you might be elected to the position.  In the world of Machiavelli, you might even reach out and grab that position for yourself.  Whichever way it occurs, you have found your way into a position of leadership – you are sitting atop the body of individuals who look to you for guidance, want you to paint a vision for the future and are in the position of following you.  People will now look to you (and judge you) for what you say, how you act and the method you use to handle situations. 

Many years ago, I was excited by the first opportunity that I had as a leader.  OK, it was a small role, but I was responsible for supervising other people.  Immediately, I told my manager what I was going to do, how I was going to tell everyone what I wanted, etc.  Needless to say, he put the kibosh on that!  It took me years to learn that with the title and the responsibility, do not come with carte blanche for me to dictate my will on other people.  As Teddy Roosevelt so eloquently put it, “No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.”  The only way for others to know that you care is to listen to what they have to say and pay attention to their words.

We all have opinions and some ideas of how things should be handled.  Not all of us freely share these thoughts, but we all have them.  Sometimes, we forget that the people we are talking to also have their thoughts and ideas.  As a leader, we should have some vision as to the direction and achievements we would like to accomplish.  However, if we do not talk to the people around us, there is no way to tell if we are in alignment with each other.  As John C. Maxwell points out, “If you think you’re leading, but no one is following, then you are only taking a walk.”  By taking the time to listen, people feel that you care about their thoughts (even if they differ), and it provides an opportunity to have other choices become available to you and realign so that more people understand the efforts.

Having the title of “Leader” does not mean everyone has to adopt what you say.  Having recently spent time in an organizational leadership role, I spent a lot of time listening, asking leading questions, and finding out people’s perceptions and needs.  When it comes to leading, we must keep in mind that “the needs of the many outweigh the needs of a few” (Mr. Spock, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan)  and the only way to come to the right conclusion is to listen.

Painting Vision

A question that I used to get when I first graduated college on job interviews was where do you see yourself in 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?  The answers were always based on some career path that was taught in school or somehow made it into my head.  Some of the responses that I got back from the interviewer were “Oh, yeah” or “You really think that?” After a few years, those fleeting answer that passed for a vision of my work future was exactly that…fleeting.  I was young, did not know better and had no idea where I was going at that point in my life.

During my first two jobs, I remember working on various projects / work related initiatives.  The actual projects that we were working on did not matter.  What mattered was the question that I used to ask -why am I doing this?  Most of the time, I received no answer from my manager, which always bothered me.  You see, I needed to understand the purpose of what I was doing and how it fit into the bigger picture.  Without a broad picture, or someone painting a vision, I had no idea where things were headed, no opportunities to provide feedback and usually never saw the impact.

Fast forward many years.  I now have what can pass for real life experience – 36 years in the work force, been employed by various companies, tried some entrepreneurial ventures and had changes in my career paths.  Then came the opportunity to become the president of my synagogue, which is a non-profit organization run by volunteers and employees a small group of people.  When I first mentioned taking the position, someone commented, “Ah, it’s just a couple of meetings here and there.”  In truth, this was more like a full-time part-time job.  This was still a legitimate business, with real needs and concerns, that needed to bring in revenue and disburse expenses.

As we know, change is vital to the survival of any organization.  For an organization, or the people in an organization, to change, they have to be able to see where the potential future might take them.  Like my earlier self, an overarching explanation needs to be given to help realize the potential.  Prior to becoming president, I spent 5 years as a Vice President, “learning the ropes”, listening to people and talking about a bright future.  I was already painting the vision prior to accepting the role, in attitude, in speeches and in conversations.  Doing this provided excitement, hope and a view towards the future which is hard to do after decades of doing the same things over and over.  To survive in the future, it needs to be communicated that there is a future, we can get there together and the changes will help us.  Once the vision is painted, the hard work then starts in following through to make sure the picture painted becomes reality.

On to a New Role

After three years as the President of my synagogue, I have transitioned into a new role – Past President.  Yes, I have already heard all of the alternate titles – Has-been, Used-to-be, Wayne who?  It has been a great three years, had the opportunity to work with some good, dedicated people and, as a team, made some much needed changes.  Being in a leadership role, I used many of the tools that I learned over the past decade, discovered many new things about leading an organization and gained a better understanding of where I fit in that picture.

In late 2009, I was introduced to the world of personal development.  I do not mean learning to feel good about myself and live in a dream world where actions automatically manifest themselves.  This  was more about taking a journey to learn, through reading and following people successful in their fields, to develop my own abilities.  It is way too easy to finish our formal education process, head out into the world and get caught up in the whirlwind that surrounds us.  Recognizing that “I am too busy,” or “I do not have the time,” are just excuses for not doing the things we need to help us improve ourselves, the direction we head in and take control of our destiny.  What I have come to understand about success, management and leadership all fell into line from others said and wrote about.

As I now have the chance to reflect upon this part of my life, there are clearly some points of advice I can happily provide to others heading into a similar position:

• Success is not a given and does not always come on the first try.  Success will come, but can be made up of small failures or missteps which provide opportunities to learn from.  It may take a few tries to reach success but when you do, people will not necessarily remember the fails.
• Have patience, not every action has to be done immediately.  Yes, urgency is important and it helps in prioritizing, but one should not sacrifice a success because one acted too fast instead of doing it right.
• Listen to the people around you, as you do not need (nor want) everyone to agree with what you say.  None of us knows everything (even though some people act like they do).  Differing thoughts can lead to new ideas or realignment of objectives.  Keep an open mind.
• Be persistent and do not stop just because others throw up an objection or place a road block in front of you.  Remember, not everyone will see things the same as you; be sure to communicate clearly, paint an inclusive vision and keep you eye on the target.
• Facilitate change, as the acceptance of change has to be a majority mindset, not just one person.
• Most importantly, be prepared!  I knew someone that said, when I get to position X, I will look around, see what needs to be done, then make some decisions / plans.  The rule of first impression goes for leadership, as you only have one chance to put your first best step forward.

As I go through the next few weeks, I will delve more into these points and why these stood out for me.

Feeling Empowered

 

"This is our job as leaders: to offer positive solutions and empower people. Our duty is to tackle our problems before they tackle us." ~ Paul Ryan

What is the value of a title that we bestow on someone?  If we are talking about olden times, if you were dubbed a knight, an earl, a baron, there would be some power, land and wealth that was associated with those titles.  At some point in time, the same could be said in a corporation’s organization chart.  If you were an AVP (Assistant Vice President), that position came with related responsibilities.  Supervisors, Managers, Directors, etc., all were appropriate rungs on a ladder that one climbed throughout their careers.  When I was an employee, I had a title and a pay designation that were not the same.  As a consultant, both earlier in my career and now, the titles have a different meaning in each company. 

To be fair, change in title does have a meaning within an organization, and can be a way to elevate employees with minimal dollar increases.  There are plenty of writings that discuss that most successful people are not motivated by chasing after bigger salaries.  It is the jobs (tasks) and challenges that cause us to “rise to the occasion” or cause us to be the exception and happily put out that extra effort that ends up distinguishing ourselves from others.  So, is the title enough to inspire others to make the leap in their engagement, output and involvement?  Or, do we need to empower the people with the new title, to challenge them, make them feel accountable and give them a sense of pride in ownership.  In other words, do we empower them with the responsibility that comes with that title?

All of us have worked with or alongside people that are happy to promote someone only to find out that we are now working for someone that is a “control freak”.  As managers or leaders, it is important to empower others as well as to delegate, promote their titles and provide positive feedback.  By giving a feeling of empowerment, you have the opportunity to make people feel they are:

• Included in the overall vision – nobody wants to just be a cog in the machinations of business, but instead understand where they fit into the bigger picture
• Part of the decisions – these are the decisions that can impact them directly, otherwise they go back to feeling like they have no say in their outcomes
• Included in various processes – inclusion in related areas broadens one’s sense of purpose and helps to not have a siloed view of the world
• Part of a team – everyone wants to feel that they are part of a group that can make a difference; can help with growth, provide personal motivation and a feeling of belonging
• A voice whose choices count – everyone has a voice and by allowing people to be heard will always help to provide new insights instead of keeping their ideas to themselves
• In control of what you have asked them to handle – a sense of ownership can lead to a pride in ones work and encourage them to take on other tasks.

Talk Too Much

I am sure that every ethnicity has a variation on the same joke…if you put # of [fill in the group] together in a room, you get # plus 2 opinions. 

In a recent meeting, there was a single, simple question asked and yet everyone felt the need to give an opinion.  There were only 2 or 3 possible responses to the question, but everyone felt obligated to provide an opinion, even though an overwhelming majority provided the same thoughts using almost the same words.  This caused what should have been a 10-minute conversation to last an hour.  Since some of the people in the group felt that they did give their opinion clearly the first (and second) time(s) that they spoke, and to clarify their positions, they repeated themselves again.  I have been in more meetings like this then I care to consider at this point. 

This goes back to a question I have pondered before – do we actually listen to what other people say?  I was taught years ago (I have forgotten the source) that most people, even in a one-on-one conversation, will be spending their time thinking about the next point, topic, or opinion they want to say without listening to the response, thought or opinion of the person talking to them.  I have been guilty of falling into this bad habit as well, usually in the heat of heavy, loud discussion, where I only want my point to be heard and to have my point of view to take precedent.    I have to literally take a step back, take a deep breath and remind myself that someone else is talking.  While I might want my opinion to be the take away, without listening to the people or persons that I am talking to, it is hard to communicate without hearing where their minds are at; Especially if they are making good points, or if they are the ones who are correct.

The ancient question is “Why do we have two ears and one mouth?”  Epictetus, a Greek philosopher who lived around 100 A.D., answered the question, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”  Conversations, discussions, meetings, etc., all involve more than the self.  If so, Epictetus observation still holds true.  Sometimes, we have to fight our urges to be heard and listen, pay attention and respond accordingly…no matter what levels we live in, strata of society we move through or political leanings. 

Delegating

“The best way to ensure that something is done correctly is to do it myself.”  OK, raise your hand if you have heard someone say this.  Great, now keep your hand up if you have used this line before, and be honest.  As someone who has worked with teams, been a team member and a manager, I will admit to raising my hand for both of those questions.  There were many times earlier in my career where grabbing the task and putting together the action items were a choice.  I had yet to learn that by doing this I was minimizing the person I was grabbing from, putting myself in a position where I now was responsible, and most importantly, removed a learning opportunity to help better someone in terms of educating them and improving their skill sets. 

If I am a one-man shop, it is natural to take on all of the responsibilities, action all items and provide all of the feedback.  The “buck” has nowhere else to stop at.  When we are young, we learn that it is our responsibility to achieve, get those good grades and excel in our endeavors.  When we succeeded or failed, we became labeled by our outcome.  Realize that for many people, those labels had an impact on their mindset and followed them as they grew into adulthood.  If we fail, we do not want to fail again, while if we succeed, it has to be only our doing.  Coupled with a mindset of “It is up to me if it was meant to be,” we fall into doing things by ourselves.  For a company to grow, this mindset makes it difficult to move beyond a one-man operation or grow from a “Mom and Pop” shop.

 I have been working with teams for most of my working career.  The good thing about a team is that by working together, each having our own responsibilities, we can achieve more together than we would be able to do on our own.  This is a different mindset than laid out in the previous paragraph.  Have I ever worked with a team where there is someone with the “I can do this by myself” mindset?  Of course, and this can cause the team to not work together, demoralize the group and fall short of the goals.  In this example, the members of the team need to realize that roles have been delegated to the resource that the manager feels can best accomplish each of the tasks.

Related question – have I ever worked for someone who did not understand delegation?  Of course. In this example, the manager hogs all of the tasks and needs to remember that the roles delegated need to be done by the resource assigned.  This also has a huge impact on the development of the team members; By delegating and supporting each person, you empower them to think for themselves, allow for internal creativity to occur and build confidence in your teams.

Like so many of the things that we do, yes, this is a lot of work and something emerging managers need to remember and strive to get better at.  Delegating responsibilities to others is not an easy thing to do and is something that one has to learn to be comfortable doing. 

One Eye Looking Forward and One Eye Looking Backward

We were recently watching a series on television where the father had a clear view of the world and how it should be, how we should behave and the paths we should all take.  His adult son also had a clear view of the world and how it should be, how we should behave and the paths we should all take.  From each one’s point of view, they were both correct, yet there was no way that their individual views would ever come into alignment.  I know, you are thinking that I am not making sense – based on the way I described their points of view, they both share the same beliefs…or do they?

When I was growing up, there was the term “Generation Gap” that became a catch all for the differences between generations.  The generation (this was before they were given fancy names) that grew up in the fifties had parents who lived through World War II and were fairly strict and brought their life experiences to the rearing of children.  Those children came from “traditional” homes, where the father worked, the mother tended the house…sort of like living in the world of “Leave it to Beaver.”  Then came the second half of the Sixties, we were in a war no one wanted to be in, youth was experimenting with expanding their minds and new ideas were taking place…the world had changed (a la “Who Moved My Cheese”) and that older generation did not see the newer world.

That time period is an easy example, as the extremes of ideas easily exemplifies two worlds / thoughts colliding.  However, new ideas clashing with old principles and the perception of rebellion have existed long before this humble author stepped foot in this world and will continue past my last breath.  If you merely sit in a group of people and there is a wide range of ages included, you can also see this type of gap, though the differentials might be more subtle.  There is the thought that our perception of reality is filtered through the prism of our experiences.  For those that have lived longer lives, that prism can have many layers of filtering; while those that have lived shorter lives, see things without those filters and can have more hope and expectations towards what tomorrow may bring.  For both, the perception of reality is seen through their eyes…both are correct, from their points of view, and they could perceive each other to be wrong.  For the ones whose eyes are not clouded by past experiences, it is important to explain what potentials exist ahead.  For those that have had the experiences, it is important to share the potential pitfalls and observations gathered.  Once that agreement is in place, instead of being like Janus and only seeing either forward or backward, we can look in one direction, leveraging our accumulated knowledge while forging new paths into the future.

Shave and a Haircut

My last haircut was towards the beginning of January.  Normally, I would have said that my next cut would be at the end of March / beginning of April.  Well, that plan did not work out.  I made the decision at that time to wait until we could go back out to the places where we used to go.  Like everyone else, I figured that in a few weeks, and just like a big storm, the dark clouds of the pandemic would blow away.  We all know how that went.  During this time, my family said that they would happily cut my hair for me.  I could have used the beard clipper (which on video calls looks like many chose that option).  A month ago, friend of mine suggested I use his barber…a razor.  I made the decision to tough it out and visually show that I am following the guidance provided.  For me, that was as important a point to make as it was to look well groomed. Since the pandemic started, I have been out to shop and a couple of social distance visits, but for the most part, I had started to become comfortable staying close to home and minimizing my trips into the larger world.  My comfort zone did shrink.

And then the guidance changed.   While I do like having long hair (remember the pony tail I use to have?), I was done with the unruly, caveman look.  But truth be told, after so much time at home, like many other people, I have to admit I was nervous to venture forth.  As I said, my comfort zone in the past four months had become more like a small bubble.  A week after the governor gave the OK – I decided to call for an appointment, hoping that it would be a few weeks before they could take me, giving me time to prepare for enlarging my comfort zone.  “How does 6:30 work for you,” the voice kindly asked.  I stammered, “I c-c-cannot m-m-m-make it tonight.”  “I am talking about Friday,” she responded.  I took the appointment and now had to venture out to a place I had not been to before the pandemic even began (the place I used moved locations).

Friday arrived, and with a show of confidence I left my house and my comfort zone.  I grabbed a disposable mask on the way out, having to ditch the bandana that I usually wear.  I was uncomfortable even in my car, when I realized that I had not even turned the car on yet.  I drove to the place and pulled up.  I tentatively walked up to the door, not sure if I was to open it, or needed to be escorted in.  I cannot believe that an action that was normal and natural felt like I was trying something new.  The receptionist saw me, opened the door and took my temperature.  There was one other person there who was finishing up and then they left.  By the time I signed the release form, I was up.  As I sat down, conversation started naturally and we caught up since we last met.  I sat there at ease and then I was finished.  It was a positive experience, though I am still very cautious and continue to remain diligent.  Being smart about how we handle ourselves (metaphor for many things) will lead us to good outcomes.  I had built up some fears about going out and wanting to remain safe.  Believe me, running to the shore to be amongst a crowd is still not an option for myself.  Although we are still in quarantine, every day my comfort zone gets slightly bigger and I feel more comfortable as things start to “get back to normal”.

Leading During Covid-19

I have been involved in the change business for a few decades, related to system implementations and process improvements.  The rule of thumb has always been that people do not like change, as they are comfortable in what they do, use to how things work and do not like to step outside the box.  The similar comment is when someone says that they are going to change someone else.  You cannot change someone unless they want to change.  Same holds true in the business world.  You cannot change someone; they have to be open to the potential opportunities and then make their own decision to change.  Otherwise, they will get passed over.  As time marches on, technologies move forward and enhancements will always happen.

And then came the great Disruptor – COVID-19.  The COVID came with no policies, no pamphlets and no prior examples.  There were no guidelines how to react, how to live and how to lead during a pandemic where the best preparedness is everyone living in quarantine.  The impact was felt in daily life, businesses and volunteer organizations.  As president of a synagogue, there was no one to turn to, you could not ask how was this handled beforehand.  14 weeks in and we are still learning, still adjusting and still striving to exist in this “new world.”  Things that used to be important are no longer important and things we did not think about are now in the forefront of what needs to be addressed.

A Disruptor will always lead to a change or, in this case, many changes.  Video conferencing, which ten years ago was only for “fancy” businesses has become the communication tool for households desperate to connect visually with family, friends and associates.  The way we “congregate” is different.  Wrestling over the thoughts of broadcasting religious services, business meetings or casual gatherings have been dashed aside as the use of technology has brought us together…for some as a means of inclusion and others as a means of socialization.  In terms of change…when we plan a project, we expect change to take many months.  In the COVID time, change is rapid, rapid to meet daily needs, conduct business, religious needs and social needs.  It means that people in positions of leadership are stretched to react while the Disruptor is still here, and the need to respond to its every present, constant impact on our lives, how we conduct ourselves and how we treat each other.  We can, and will, take the bucket of lemons dumped onto us and turn them into lemon-aid.  Even though this is a time of challenge, it also means that it is also a time of opportunity, which means there is change afoot.

A Time of Opportunity

Thomas Edison once said, “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”  We are currently living in a time where most of us are home-bound due to Covid-19.  Thankfully, many of us are employed due to the wonders of modern technology.  There has been an uptick in the usage of Netflix, Hulu has offered free services and I have gotten notifications that some of the online games have added more functionality so that we have additional items to entertain us while we are home.  While I can easily agree that we need distractions (we always need these), the distractions should not become the norm and we need to remember that life around us does not stand still.

It is easy to attract people to things that require minimal effort.  Because of this, it can be easy to get lulled into this type of comfort zone.  Just because we are self-quarantined, anxious about direct human contact, or are really becoming homebodies, does not mean that we have to give up all opportunities.  We are bound within these four walls for today, but one day (or some time in the near future), we will be allowed to roam freely again.  Many people are saying that we will have to wait and see what we are allowed to do and when we will be able to do it.  With that mindset, the day we wake up and are once again allowed to “pass Go” will be the day that we are already behind.

Back to the quote from my fellow New Jerseyian, there is currently work that can be done.  While those of us who work in the world of projects, it is always good to know when the project is expected to go live.  However, if we lay out the expected tasks, we should have some idea how long tasks should take and when a viable date would be, barring any unexpected hiccups along the way (which most projects have).  Besides, after close to nine weeks being inside, it is healthy to have some goals to strive for, some projects to work on and something in the future to look forward to.  While it is easy to catch up on our shows, see the movies we never made it to and try the games that everyone talks about, now is the time to look for the opportunities.  Yes, it is dressed in overalls and looks like work, but it is better to don the garb and try your hand at the work rather than say, “I could have done that” after someone else beats you to it.

Planning for Brighter Days

Imagine the year is 1519 and we have been sailing on a ship crossing the Atlantic for weeks on end.  We know that we are going to land in what was then termed the new world.  As a crew member, we know that we are on a mission of conquest.  As the commander, Hernan Cortes, planned the landing, the actions to take, the steps in conquest and how to navigate the near future that would fall into his lap.  Though we are not currently sitting in the hull of a 16^th century boat, it certainly seems as if we have been afloat on the water for weeks on end.

In this comparison, our landing on bright shiny shores will be the day the CDC, our state and federal governments say that it is safe “to go ashore.”  As a leader in any organization, there are some choices that need to be made and they come down to wait until we land, survey the situation, and then make some on the spot decisions for next steps.  Or, we start to list out the possible plans of action, identify some early challenges, determine decision criteria and then enact the best plan upon landing.  While we are still weeks away from reaching the shore, there is still time to figure out how to navigate the seas ahead of us.  We have a small window of time to engage the knowledge holders of our organizations, discuss options and plan for that bright day coming in the near future.

In 1519, upon landing, Cortes famously sunk his ships to ensure that his troops would follow him on his conquest.  This action has been used in leadership examples about having to focus on the road (plan) ahead and not having the crutch of relying on a method of retreating.  To win, you have to move forward.  We do not have the option of burning, sinking or hiding from the future.  However, we should be preparing and looking forward to that day where the proverbial sun rises, we land upon the sandy shores and have the future to stride into.  While we do not know when we be at that point, the time is now to set our sites for that day.  As one of my favorite quotes from Jim Rohn, “It is the set of the sails, not the direction of the wind that determines which way we will go.”  Brighter days lie ahead, so be ready and focus on that sunny future. 

The Secret Sauce

My Mom had a lot of recipes that she wrote out, some were hand-me downs, others were ones that she picked up along the way.  It is fun to pull them out (when time allows) and to scan them for old favorites (I still cannot find her butterscotch brownies recipe).  And yes, there are recipes that have written out “a pinch of this”, “a dash of that” and a few that have items that are completely illegible.  There was an old recipe for a chicken and noodle dish that we enjoyed, that was never written down which my brothers and I remembered different pieces of.  Yes, my Mother (of blessed memory) seems to have kept some cooking secrets – in other words, the “secret sauce” in the kitchen, stayed with her.  Debbie and I tried to recreate this dish based the input from my brothers and me; we were close but knew something was missing.

The topic of secret sauce came up recently while I was teaching a training course for OneStream.  The class discussed how important training and user acceptance is.  There is an old saying that “confused people do nothing”.  In the business world, this would equate, when implementing new software, that confused people would tend to go back to their old, familiar habits.  I have seen where even with successful implementation (various software) and process improvement initiatives, people are still very reluctant to give up what they feel comfortable with.  This often leads to them pulling out the old spreadsheet to challenge the numbers presented.  While I will agree that during user acceptance testing, these spreadsheets are valuable in proving out new processes and system upgrades, but can be retired once testing is complete.  However, once we move past this, everyone forgets the drawbacks of manual processes – (1) they are manual and time consuming, and, (2) there is a risk for input errors leading to false results. 

Of course, there are the chances that like older recipes, past down through the generations, that all information will not be revealed, causing the old processes to appear suddenly.  I know we have all seen the person who has the printout in the back of their notebook – they crouch down during a meeting, thinking that no one sees them, bend the bottom half of the pages upward, peer down into their secret sauce and then point out that the new ways are wrong.  For most projects, putting in a new system, no matter how complex, is easy when compared to the task of acceptance.  This can take a long time due to people not wanting to step outside of their comfort zones.  Yes, it most likely will lead to better info, more efficient processes and better overall team performance.  This issue is that people have come to rely on what they know, cannot understand if it is not broken why fix it (and sometimes it is broken), and a feeling that they will become less valuable to the company. 

In the volunteer world…yup, it is the same.  Holding onto information, procrastination and throwing out irrelevant facts does help to deter movement.  Now that I am writing this, politics, governments, etc., seem to follow the same pattern.

In a world of food channels, websites and videos, it has become easier to find the recipes (i.e., solutions) more than ever before.  Whether my Mom had hidden any secret sauce from us or not, knowingly or unknowingly, whatever the ingredients, her food always had those special flavors and tastes we remember.  As we all move forward, it is important to remember what we had, keep the positive thoughts, and focus on how we move into the future.

Leading and Delegating

As a president of an organization, I have had to ponder two concepts – leadership and delegation.


Oxford Dictionary provides the following definitions:

·         Leadership: “the action of leading a group of people or an organization.”

·         Delegate: “entrust (a task or responsibility) to another person.”

I remember as a young man, looking at various organization’s presidents, that once you reached that position, you were the one everybody had to listen to and the person that dictated every action.  As I got older, I realized that sometimes this is true and other times, not.  In truth, the role does come with the phrase that President Truman stated, “The buck stops here.”  Meaning that all the accountability, responsibility for the success of the organization at the end of the day falls on that person’s shoulders.  Leading means having the ability to know everything that is going on in the organization.  Since my synagogue is a microcosm compared to large entities, this can be an ominous task.  No one person can be involved in everything, make all decisions and action every item.  To attempt this leads to frustration and does not give a feeling of inclusion to the other people involved in leadership or the organization.

At some point I was taught the importance of delegating tasks.  This can become a fine art where you have to learn what to delegate, who to delegate to and how to engage with the person, or persons, involved.  You cannot just push responsibilities onto other people, look the other way, and hope that the tasks required are completed.  This is where relationships need to be developed as you have to be able to work with the people you ask to assist you in achieving goals.  If you delegate, you have to make sure that the person you work with has a vested interest in succeeding with the assignment, someone that you know will involve other like-minded individuals (building a team) and has the ability to communicate what happens.  Not everyone that we involve will work out as expected.

This is where the balance has to be made.  As a leader, you need to set the example, own your position and engage other people.  To do this alone, can lead to becoming a dictator where you build the expectation that you must be included in everything (i.e., managers that need to be on ALL emails), stifle creative suggestions (which all organizations need to thrive and change alongside our broader environments) and push potential help away.  Similarly, reactions where one delegates everything and takes on no responsibility, as this can lead to teams feeling they have no support, lack a broad direction and can lead to a feeling we are in the wild west.  This is the hard part, as a leader you never cede your responsibility, trust the people you ask to help, providing support and guidance, and encourage their creativity.  As General George S. Patton stated, “Don't tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results.”  

Words

I am not following the Impeachment Trial, but I am bothered by the choice of words being used by both sides and easily gleaned from the headlines of all publications.  Words can hurt, words can heal, words can change the course of progress and words can face us towards a better future.  Last week, we celebrated Martin Luther King Jr Day, a holiday to celebrate a man who had an enormous impact and is memorialized by his “I Have a Dream” speech.  Juxtaposing a speech to inspire against speeches meant to incite fear and misdirection, it caused me to pause and reflect on how we speak and the words we use.

I have been fascinated by some of the influential speeches given by our forefathers, speeches that had the ability to convey heavy messages, provided context and imagery, presented in a highly complex language structure consisting of compound sentences and using, at time archaic words, to present their purposes to a young Republic.  Either this is the way they thought, or most likely, they took some serious time to compose the messages that they wished to deliver.  We live in an age of elevator pitches and conveying internet messages in 140 characters soundbites, now expanded to 280.  Yes, we live in a fast food world, where certain internet tools have helped to bring “fast food thinking” to the way we communicate.  While there are cases of this helping to provide a forum on world events, we now have terms like cyber-bullying where we can verbally attack someone or something and have an instant audience.

Truth be damned!  The quicker we get information out; the quicker people will react and respond.  Fact checking?  If you get your point out there quick enough, by the time the facts come to light, people have already accepted the “fake news” as the truth.  It seems like this mentality has bled into many other areas of life.  In 2005, a prominent news anchor left his job in disgrace over presenting a story as true, that ended up not being fact checked and was ultimately “fake news.”  Today, there are those who use these words, in most cases planned and well thought out, to appeal to the court of public opinion, where facts seemingly do not matter.  People are found guilty in the court of public opinion way before they stand trial, where we are supposed to be innocent until proven guilty. 

We the people have seemingly enabled these actions to perpetuate, as we purchase the printed news, listen / watch the stations that embrace this and worse yet, continue to elect officials who perpetuate this.  “My representative” should be exactly that – I will gladly vote against those who do not meet my ideals (party does not always matter).  As we head into the next political cycle, it will be interesting to see if anything does change, or will we maintain as usual.  Words are important – what we say, what we write and the meaning / motivation behind them.  How powerful are words?  On November 19, 1863, a 2-minute speech was given, that was less than 275 words, amongst a full program, including other famous speakers.  That short oration?  The Gettysburg Address given by our great President, Abraham Lincoln.  Sandwiched amidst the presentation of the day, it has more than stood the test of time, driven a nation to becomes its best and still stands as an inspiration.  Remember what good, positive words can lead us towards as you communicate with others.

Facing Your Naked Self

Do you ever stand naked in front of a mirror?  I know this sounds like a line from the movie “Airplane”.  I mean this more in a philosophical sense rather than a literal sense.  Have you ever stood naked in front of a mirror to evaluate the person who you see staring back at you?  Have you taken that time to honestly evaluate what you are looking at, to think of how that person fits into the universe and to decide who that person really is?  Yes, you can do this fully dressed, but you better be willing to see the person who resides in the clothing that can be visually used as the definition of you.

We recently watched a movie where one of the characters was referred to as a trier, which is defined in Urban Dictionary as “a person who tries way too freakin’ hard.”  In other words, someone who tries to be someone who they are not.  A conversation I overheard was along the same lines, how the individual they were discussing acts like a different person at work than in a more social setting.  There are many circumstances in life where we are in a position where we want to be accepted, where we want to impress others and where we feel that we have to act like everyone around us.  If we think, feel and act like the majority of people, what have we done to differentiate ourselves, stand up for what we really believe in and present ourselves as we are? 

My parents used to tell the story about how when I was a child, I was a bit oblivious to what was going on around me and preferred to do things my own way.  I spent many summers at a wonderful place called Camp Echo Lark, where in the early days, we used to have a dress code.  The camp colors were green and gold, so our clothes were green and white.  Each morning, they would announce the “dress” for the day, meaning the shirt color and the pants color.  On visiting day, when all of the parents arrived, they saw a sea of children wearing the “dress” for that day.  My parents spotted me immediately, as I was the only camper not wearing white socks like every other camper.

Back to the mirror…as you stand before yourself, you might want to ask – are you wearing the white socks to fit in with everyone else, or are you wearing some other color?  Are you being who you are, or are you trying to be someone else?  Look, we all have people we admire, successful people who we wish to mirror and heroes whose footsteps we want to walk in.  We are not, however, the net sum that made those people what they are in experience, in livelihood and in ambition.  We are merely who we are.  As you stand there in the breeze, be honest about who you are, your strengths and your desires.  Strive to be the best you that you can be, and become the person who you were meant to be.  Only then can you be comfortable with the bare reflection that stares back at you.

Do You Get It?

Have you ever explained something and the person you were talking with had the blank deer in the head lights look?  How about the deafening silence on the other side of the phone?  A roomful of people sitting like mannequins?  The slack jaw gawk of disbelief staring you in the face?  You know what I mean…the one(s) you are talking to either does not understand a word you are saying, or just simply does not get it.  This is usually when the audience is receiving new information, facing change or having something new clarified to them.  The most difficult time is when there is change afoot.

I truly believe that at times we can be so change averse, regardless of how dire our situation, we cannot fathom the world is changing, the past is over or leaving behind our comfortable world.  Unfortunately, that type of mindset leads to waiting so long to take action that when we rise out of our comfortable chair to do something relevant, the moment has long ago passed us by…the old saying “too little too late” applies.  Sadly, at this juncture, we have nothing to do but sit back down in our old worn comfortable chair and wonder what happened.  This can happen to organizations, political positions and to people who do not evaluate their situation until there is no choice left.  This is the category where advice, statistics and views into the wider world do not register.

The flip side are those that keep their heads up and look out towards the horizon watching for shifts in the tide (trends).  They want to be aware of where the future can bring us.  Thomas Alva Edison is attributed to have said “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”  This category will recognize that there are challenges ahead, opportunities to be addressed and work to be done to point towards the future.  This group will take this to heart and most importantly, put forth the effort required to reach those goals.  Change is not a foreign concept, but indigenous to the path that they stride upon. 

There is another group – those that see the changes / challenges ahead, but like where they are and are comfortable falling behind those that move ahead.  We have all met those people that are happy to remain in that bubble that they long ago surrounded themselves in, not cutting off the world, but enjoying the peace, tranquility and circle of comfort that they prefer to live in.  This can apply to individuals or larger groups of people that live in a modern world, but choose to exist in their own way.

During the course of time, if we are involved in many different components of our lives, we might face each of the above.  As always, life is full of options and choices.  Sometimes the answers are straight forward.  Sometimes the answers are clouded by too many paths before us or unclear options.  Sometimes, we wait to see what will happen, due to being unsure.    I was once taught that confused people do nothing.  It is hard when you are part of a group that needs change, but cannot see it, nor the value it would bring.  Which category do you belong to? 

Plan the Weekend?

It is funny to think that our weekends can be as busy, or busier, than our weekdays!  Recently, I was reminded that the weekends are the perfect time to rest and prepare for the week ahead – a time to sleep, plan and line up our Mondays through Fridays.  At my first job, the husband of the company owner’s secretary owned the bar across the street where we all met after work on Friday.  This led me to feel that the weekends began the moment I stopped working on Friday, popped a few beverages, rested / relaxed and kind of went with the flow.  Do you remember those carefree days?  Those years do not last long, as you marry, start a family, build a household and grow within your community. 

As my life became full of commitments and responsibilities, I found the following questions come to mind:

·         Do I really have the needed downtime, or do I need to plan the time for it?

·         Do I have time to prepare for the week, or do I need to plan the time for it?

·         Do I have time to handle chores / responsibilities, or do I need to plan the time for it?

·         Do I have time to socialize on the weekend, or do I need to plan the time for it?

Based on a fully scheduled week, I began to realize that the second half of the above questions were a common thread – I needed to plan for my non-work time to ensure that my “down time” was used wisely.

While I agree on the importance of having time off from the hustle and bustle of the week, I have found that I have to schedule precious downtime on the weekends to ensure that I have the time to sit, relax and think about other things in my life.  Last weekend was one of the few times that I had actual time to take a nap (which I still like to do when possible), watch something funny on TV (Impractical Jokers, so I was guaranteed to laugh), catch up on chores and spend some needed family time.  While it was nice and it provided the time to do nothing, I have to admit, I do like knowing what is next and, for me, doing nothing gets boring pretty quickly (which could lead to additional naps and no productivity).  Yes, I was the kid who did not like sitting still and liked to have an activity in front of me.  I guess some things never change…

Can You Spot the Leader?

Team Leader, Manager, Counselor, Head Usher, Supervisor, Chairman, Director, Vice President, President, Business Owner.  Here is a list of titles, that also represent roles or positions, where the person who carries that label must be able to work with others, lead, inspire, manage and assume certain responsibilities.  Within different groups or organizations, each of those roles who have different authorizations, capabilities and tasks that fall on the shoulders of that person.  “Why would you want that?” is a question I have heard, whether said directly to me or in regards to others. 

So, you want to be a leader?  That is something that is honorable to aspire towards.  “It looks easy” and “I can do what he/she does” are common phrases I have heard.  John C. Maxwell, leadership expert and author, once wrote that when he first took a leadership role (as a pastor), he thought that he could do what he wanted to and everyone would follow along because he was the leader.  When I was studying for my MBA, I took a management course and the professor made it clear that there are leaders who have a title and leaders who do not.  That was the topic that Robin Sharma, author and leadership expert, explored in his book, “Leading Without a Title.”  Leadership is a term, whether or not you have the title, that is defined by the Oxford Dictionary (from the website Lexico) as “The action of leading a group of people or an organization.”

Can you spot a leader?  Forbes identifies 11  traits of a powerful leader (from a March 22, 2017 posting) as: Having the ability to self-manage, Act Strategically, Being an Effective Communicator, Being Accountable and Responsible, Setting and Achieving Clear Goals, Vision for the Future, Manage Complexity, Fostering Creativity/Innovation, Team Building / Teamwork, Create Lasting Relationships, Ability to Learn.  That is certainly a long list, though it is pretty inclusive of a lot of vital traits.  We all know or have worked for people who have embodied many of these traits.  We all know or have worked with people who have embodied these traits but do not have a title.  As well, we also all know or have worked for people who have the title but none (or few) of the traits.

Do you have what it takes to be a leader?  Look at the list provided by the Forbes article.  It is easy to look in the mirror and see which traits the person staring back at you has.  And be honest with yourself!  Most of the items you might fall short on are learnable through personal development (classes, seminars and books).  Some institutions provide furthering education to learn these traits.  Some are a little more esoteric, such as having a vision for the future.  Another method of learning would be through experience – not everything will be successful, but each failure will teach you something that you can apply next time to become successful.  Remember the list at the top?  Those were some of the titles that I have been labeled with during the course of my life so far.  I still subscribe to the saying that leaders are readers and that to be a leader you have to be open to learn, listen and look for opportunities that benefit all.

Busy v Productivity

I have been hearing the word “busy” thrown around a lot lately.  It seems as if this word is very over used, whether I am hearing the word in general conversations, related to work, regarding personal lives, etc.  “You are so busy.”  “I am so busy that I do not have time for…”  “I like to keep busy.”  “They are really keeping me busy.”  I am sure that you can add a phrase or two to this list.  I do remember when I first started working, the term “busy work” was used.  This was not used as a positive term and signified giving somebody work so that they were occupied – a fancy phrase for shuffling paper. 

Does being busy mean that there is some type of result or output?  Or does “busy” mean the “busy work” of my past?  I decided that I should check with the dictionary and get a definition for the word “busy”.  Merriam-Webster defines “busy” as “engaged in action…full of activity.”  OK – between working fulltime, being president of a synagogue, being involved in my family, music, social life, etc., I can easily say that I fit the definition for “busy”.  Earlier in my career, I remember working with people who worked 9 to 5, knew the nightly television schedule, slept late on weekends and seemed to have no free time.  They said they were too busy for anything else.  This was while I was working fulltime, going to school at night and planning a wedding – who had time for television every night?

A number of years ago, I was introduced at work to Agile project management.  Not to go into details, but one of the methods they taught us was to set two-week goals and define the tasks that you can complete within that timeframe.  2 weeks = 80 working hours – time for meetings – time for “fire drills”.  That means that one’s productive time is probably closer to 50 hours a week.  I used to sit in the planning session and the participants would minimize the time for each task and load up the activities; in other words, they wanted to look busy.  The problem is that nothing would finish and they were not productive.

Merriam-Webster’s definition of “productive” is “Yielding results, benefits or profit.”

There is the old saying in geometry, all squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares.  The basic definition of a rectangle is that opposite sides are parallel, the same length and it has only right angles.  A square’s definition is the same, with the only difference that the length of all sides is the same; so, by definition all squares are rectangles.  Using the same thinking, productive people can be busy, but not all busy people are productive.  So, if I go back to my busy list – am I being productive? 

·         Fulltime Work – Am I adding value to the company I work for and my clients?

·         Synagogue President – Are there results / new initiatives generated?

·         Family – Is the time spent together meaningful (quality over quantity) and will create lasting memories?

These are the questions that we all should be asking to make sure that we all live up to the potentials that we have each been given in order to best utilize our time while walking this planet (or any future planet).  I am thinking that we should minimize our use of the word “busy” and increase the use of the word “productive”.  This way, when someone talks about their output, we know that they are filling their time meaningfully and not just shuffling paper.

Procrastination as a Strategy

I procrastinated!  My father was great at pointing out when I procrastinated while growing up.  I am sure there were other adjectives used, but that is the one that always stuck out.  “But I was…” would be the start to my usual response.  “Wayne,” he would start, “I do not want hear any excuses…” Stubbornly, I would repeat this pattern (I did not like being told what I can and cannot do).  While my afternoons were spent watching classics, like Bugs Bunny and the Three Stooges, I probably would have been better served reading the classics instead of watching the “classics.”  While I was sitting there laughing, absolutely nothing was happening, leading to procrastinating on homework, etc.  Reading for school – nah, that never happened.  My dad even got called in for a conference due to late or no book reports being handed in (fourth grade).  Needless to say, he was not happy.

That was then, this is now.  Truth be told, as we got older, life get busier.  Marriage, children, and homes are all great things that occur in our lives that should be celebrated and enjoyed in their own right.  These activities easily fill our time and keep us busy.  We become busy doing this, busy doing that, busy running here and busy running there.   This causes us to have difficulty in accomplishing things.  At the end of the day, we are tired and sometimes wonder what we accomplished.  I remember many of these days – long fun days with my family, good quality time, but little accomplished.  The busier we are, the more we tend to procrastinate due to time constraint…or so we lead ourselves to believe.  Truth is, being busy does not equal being productive.  It took me years to realize this.  I am no longer that child watching the “classics” but now the adult and can no longer make excuses for my procrastination and blame my time loss on others.

OK, now that I have patted myself on the back and complimented my emergence as an adult, that does not mean procrastination has disappeared.  If I sit here and prioritize my tasks, I know what I can do and what has to be held off.  Many time times, I will delay addressing something that I really do not want to do (that would be procrastinating).  I know I am doing this up front and can communicate what I am doing.   Then there are times where an “event” occurs and the choice is to do a knee jerk reaction.  Under the emotional stress and strain of situation, people react instead of thinking level-headed.  In this case, procrastination is a strategy.  By dragging my heels, the situation can calm down and clear-headed decisions can be made.  While I am still a big Three Stooges fan, watching them are no longer a priority, however, they are still a pleasant distraction when I need something to help me procrastinate.