Talk Too Much

I am sure that every ethnicity has a variation on the same joke…if you put # of [fill in the group] together in a room, you get # plus 2 opinions. 

In a recent meeting, there was a single, simple question asked and yet everyone felt the need to give an opinion.  There were only 2 or 3 possible responses to the question, but everyone felt obligated to provide an opinion, even though an overwhelming majority provided the same thoughts using almost the same words.  This caused what should have been a 10-minute conversation to last an hour.  Since some of the people in the group felt that they did give their opinion clearly the first (and second) time(s) that they spoke, and to clarify their positions, they repeated themselves again.  I have been in more meetings like this then I care to consider at this point. 

This goes back to a question I have pondered before – do we actually listen to what other people say?  I was taught years ago (I have forgotten the source) that most people, even in a one-on-one conversation, will be spending their time thinking about the next point, topic, or opinion they want to say without listening to the response, thought or opinion of the person talking to them.  I have been guilty of falling into this bad habit as well, usually in the heat of heavy, loud discussion, where I only want my point to be heard and to have my point of view to take precedent.    I have to literally take a step back, take a deep breath and remind myself that someone else is talking.  While I might want my opinion to be the take away, without listening to the people or persons that I am talking to, it is hard to communicate without hearing where their minds are at; Especially if they are making good points, or if they are the ones who are correct.

The ancient question is “Why do we have two ears and one mouth?”  Epictetus, a Greek philosopher who lived around 100 A.D., answered the question, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”  Conversations, discussions, meetings, etc., all involve more than the self.  If so, Epictetus observation still holds true.  Sometimes, we have to fight our urges to be heard and listen, pay attention and respond accordingly…no matter what levels we live in, strata of society we move through or political leanings. 

Agent of Change

Hardest part:  Someone has to deliver the news.

Easy part:  Realizing something ain't right.

Hard part:  Accepting things are going to be different.

Easy part:  Believing in the new cause.

Hard part:  Identifying the solution.

I have been dealing in the world of change for a good amount of time.  From an organizational point of view, change is usually defined by a business need, change in environment or change in technology.  When I first started working, 13-columnar paper was still useful in the Accounting world.  I remember people opposed to moving to a computer environment.  30+ years has seen many innovations and technological advances that have made work life significantly easier.  Similar technology, which in the “olden” days was unaffordable to the masses are now part of everyday life.  My cellphone, as an example, has more power and ability than my first PC, is smaller than the floppy disc that I needed to insert to start the computer and smaller than the remote to the fancy TV sets my parent could not afford.

In hindsight, it is easy to identify the benefits of change.  As an agent of change, we have to be able to paint the picture that tells the story of how things will be, the benefits and the positive future impacts.  Our audience, in most cases, does not initially see the benefits and in 8 out of 10 cases are comfortable with the way things are.  “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” is the age-old adage, however, it then sets us up for failure, because it allows the world to pass us by while we remain where we are.  Someone has long since moved the cheese, even though we still see it sitting there, a mere vestige of the tasty morsel that it once was.

As the messenger, who will be shot at, tarred and feathered, then drawn and quartered, the words and vision that we present have to clearly project the ideas of what can be and the risk of doing nothing.  As we are more comfortable with things, ideas and processes, we tend to be less open to new things, new ideas and new processes.  There is the chance, with the wrong words, to have the audience turn before we get into the issue.  There is the chance that I will sound pompous, insincere and out of touch because I am not aligned with those before me.  There is a chance, however, that I can catch their attention, provide the right story which leads down the path where I take everyone with me.  Sometimes, someone else is better equipped to handle the deed.  It is like tiptoeing across a blades edge, where each step must be gentle enough so you do not slice open your foot, yet firm enough so that you do fall into the abyss that is on either side. 

In actuality, we are all agents of change.  As we go through life, all of each reach a juncture where we have to make choices with an impact.  Some effect only ourselves, while some effect those around us.  Be bold, be wise, ask advise and be willing to do what you believe is right.  Change is never easy and sometimes we have to shoulder the hardest part – delivering the news to others.

A Fresh Start

Day one…a New Year, a new month and a new job.  Change happens and it is real.  The last time that I changed the company I was working for was 16 years ago.  In 33 years in the work force, I have elected to change companies 3 times and was laid off once prior to 2018.  The difference this time around was that I was in control of the decision (sign of maturity?) and approached the company that I want to work for, where I felt that I can add value and be a helpful resource for them.

Am I nervous about the change?  Yes.  Something new, starting over and making a change are a tall order.  I have to confess that I was comfortable working at ITG; I knew the ropes and was a seasoned veteran there which provided an immense feeling of belonging, knowing fully what I could do and to some extent, steer my own course.  Without stepping outside of my comfort zone, nothing for me will change, nothing for me will grow and nothing new will come my way.  A step in personal growth and self-development is realizing that change is needed and it is up to me to make the choices to ensure that I am personally challenged, have the opportunities to develop / gain new skills and put myself in a position to help others achieve their goals.  And for that, I am more excited than nervous.

The company that I am going to work for is CompIntelligence, a provider of enterprise performance management and equity compensation services, to work on helping to train and manage projects implementing OneStream Software, a rapidly growing CPM (Corporate Performance Management) software.  Having been involved with the software from a user implementation perspective, I am excited to help “spread the word” on this fantastic product that stands head and shoulders over the previously implemented software.  I was excited when I first saw the demo of this new company’s software, had a great implementation experience (to view my testimonial: https://www.onestreamsoftware.com/success-stories/itg ) and believed in being part of the vision. 

Each year, we are supposed to step back, evaluate how we did in the past year and set down where we would like to move towards in the new year ahead.  2018 held some great things for me and by making a change in companies to start the new year, I have automatically set in motion goals for 2019.  Make wise choices in this new year, set my sights firmly on where I am heading and remain persistent and consistent to attaining them.  May this year be the best year yet!

We Call Upon Our President

This upcoming week, I am giving my first speech as the president of my synagogue.  Traditionally, the president speaks to the congregation on Kol Nidre, the night when Yom Kippur starts; this is generally a State of the Union type address.  I began thinking and writing ideas about this for weeks.  While I have spoken before, it has never been in this “official” capacity. 

Timing is everything…As the timing would have it, a friend this past week asked me about Toastmasters, what I learned and the benefits.  I am a big fan of this program, even though I have not attended in many months, but keep my membership active.  The questions were simple, “Has it been effective…in becoming a better overall speaker,” and “Would I recommend it?”  My answers were, “Yes and yes.  It has been a big help in how to structure a talk and engage the audience.”  Many years ago, I had dreamt about having the opportunity to speak publicly.  Yes, having been a consultant, speaking in front of people, giving what is known as a persuasion speech was part of the job.  However, with proper guidance and feedback (as with any type of education and mentoring), one can better hone their skills, receive guidance and focus, and advance his or her capabilities.

As I am finishing up preparing my speech, I keep in mind what I have learned:  introducing too many points (some speakers add too many points, have limited support), use an example or story as that helps to visualize, use vocal variety (monotone does not engage) and engage the audience.  While this is a lot to remember, practicing is key.  Yes, you can wing an off-the-cuff speech (i.e., back pocket speech).  However, a formal oration has to be tight with points well-made and not too long.  I am used to practicing 5 to 7 minute or 10 to 12 minute speeches.  That should be more than enough time to convey the points.

When the cue comes, “We now call upon our President…” I just have to remember to take a deep breath, step up to the lectern and enjoy the experience.