Body Bound

 

In the Star Trek episode, “Return to Tomorrow,” the cast find themselves in the presence of three spheres that contain the essence of telepathic beings that have been in this state since their planet was devastated.  They wish, for a temporary basis, to swap with three people to once again feel what it is like to have a body, to experience life and to see if they can create artificial bodies for themselves.  I remember seeing this episode as a child and it always stuck with me the idea that if we were to lose our capacities, we would ultimately end up like the three beings – a sentient mind without the functionality of the body, forever bound in a sphere.

Science-fiction is funny in a way that when you are introduced to the thoughts, concepts and imaginations of the writer, the stories always seem fantastical, providing us with new ideas to think about.  In the time since that episode first appeared on television (1968), our world has changed considerably.  While we may not (yet) be able to move our minds into newer bodies, technology and science has provided the ability to extend lives beyond the lifespans of the 1960’s.  When my parents were children, no one would have believe that one of the greatest people in astrophysics and cosmology, Steven Hawking, would see the universe bound to his wheel chair, communicate through a speech generating device and produce theoretical breakthroughs.  Man’s ability to persevere, succeed and overcome obstacles is amazing!

But what happens when you have had a lifetime of multiple physical skills and then, at a mature age, things stop working as you have been used to?  How quick can one make the required adjustments to overcome the new challenges before them.  Blessed with sight, sound, mobility, etc., it is hard to fathom how to handle diminished or lost abilities.  As a 58 year old, I can safely say that there are times where I can “feel” like my body cannot do some of the things that it used to, has aches and pains that come and go, and, does not react quite as quick as it did 25 years ago.  Growing up, we had a German Shepherd, Tippi, who at a later point in life began to show signs typical of the breed – hip dysplasia.  As the condition worsened, the vet finally told us that she is mentally sound and knows that she will have to begin dragging her back legs.  Sadly, we made the “humane” decision to put her to sleep.  What we can do for our pets, we cannot do for ourselves.  From a religious point of view, our life is precious.  While science helped Mr. Hawkins and for many people, it has helped to allow new chances on a productive life.  For others, not so much.

When I was younger, I was fascinated by the beings in that Star Trek episode.  It made me think that once the body goes, we are left with only our essence…our minds.  The only way to preserve that seemed to be answered in a made for TV sci-fi episode.  I am definitely not telepathic, so that would not be a solution and I would be trapped in a “vessel” until science could figure out how to create an artificial body to drop my brain into.  Whether a sphere, or some other container, the key word would be trapped.  At the end of the day, the real lesson is to take care of ourselves, remember to stop and smell the roses and be kind to the other people we meet along the way.

Feeling Empowered

 

"This is our job as leaders: to offer positive solutions and empower people. Our duty is to tackle our problems before they tackle us." ~ Paul Ryan

What is the value of a title that we bestow on someone?  If we are talking about olden times, if you were dubbed a knight, an earl, a baron, there would be some power, land and wealth that was associated with those titles.  At some point in time, the same could be said in a corporation’s organization chart.  If you were an AVP (Assistant Vice President), that position came with related responsibilities.  Supervisors, Managers, Directors, etc., all were appropriate rungs on a ladder that one climbed throughout their careers.  When I was an employee, I had a title and a pay designation that were not the same.  As a consultant, both earlier in my career and now, the titles have a different meaning in each company. 

To be fair, change in title does have a meaning within an organization, and can be a way to elevate employees with minimal dollar increases.  There are plenty of writings that discuss that most successful people are not motivated by chasing after bigger salaries.  It is the jobs (tasks) and challenges that cause us to “rise to the occasion” or cause us to be the exception and happily put out that extra effort that ends up distinguishing ourselves from others.  So, is the title enough to inspire others to make the leap in their engagement, output and involvement?  Or, do we need to empower the people with the new title, to challenge them, make them feel accountable and give them a sense of pride in ownership.  In other words, do we empower them with the responsibility that comes with that title?

All of us have worked with or alongside people that are happy to promote someone only to find out that we are now working for someone that is a “control freak”.  As managers or leaders, it is important to empower others as well as to delegate, promote their titles and provide positive feedback.  By giving a feeling of empowerment, you have the opportunity to make people feel they are:

• Included in the overall vision – nobody wants to just be a cog in the machinations of business, but instead understand where they fit into the bigger picture
• Part of the decisions – these are the decisions that can impact them directly, otherwise they go back to feeling like they have no say in their outcomes
• Included in various processes – inclusion in related areas broadens one’s sense of purpose and helps to not have a siloed view of the world
• Part of a team – everyone wants to feel that they are part of a group that can make a difference; can help with growth, provide personal motivation and a feeling of belonging
• A voice whose choices count – everyone has a voice and by allowing people to be heard will always help to provide new insights instead of keeping their ideas to themselves
• In control of what you have asked them to handle – a sense of ownership can lead to a pride in ones work and encourage them to take on other tasks.

Delegating

“The best way to ensure that something is done correctly is to do it myself.”  OK, raise your hand if you have heard someone say this.  Great, now keep your hand up if you have used this line before, and be honest.  As someone who has worked with teams, been a team member and a manager, I will admit to raising my hand for both of those questions.  There were many times earlier in my career where grabbing the task and putting together the action items were a choice.  I had yet to learn that by doing this I was minimizing the person I was grabbing from, putting myself in a position where I now was responsible, and most importantly, removed a learning opportunity to help better someone in terms of educating them and improving their skill sets. 

If I am a one-man shop, it is natural to take on all of the responsibilities, action all items and provide all of the feedback.  The “buck” has nowhere else to stop at.  When we are young, we learn that it is our responsibility to achieve, get those good grades and excel in our endeavors.  When we succeeded or failed, we became labeled by our outcome.  Realize that for many people, those labels had an impact on their mindset and followed them as they grew into adulthood.  If we fail, we do not want to fail again, while if we succeed, it has to be only our doing.  Coupled with a mindset of “It is up to me if it was meant to be,” we fall into doing things by ourselves.  For a company to grow, this mindset makes it difficult to move beyond a one-man operation or grow from a “Mom and Pop” shop.

 I have been working with teams for most of my working career.  The good thing about a team is that by working together, each having our own responsibilities, we can achieve more together than we would be able to do on our own.  This is a different mindset than laid out in the previous paragraph.  Have I ever worked with a team where there is someone with the “I can do this by myself” mindset?  Of course, and this can cause the team to not work together, demoralize the group and fall short of the goals.  In this example, the members of the team need to realize that roles have been delegated to the resource that the manager feels can best accomplish each of the tasks.

Related question – have I ever worked for someone who did not understand delegation?  Of course. In this example, the manager hogs all of the tasks and needs to remember that the roles delegated need to be done by the resource assigned.  This also has a huge impact on the development of the team members; By delegating and supporting each person, you empower them to think for themselves, allow for internal creativity to occur and build confidence in your teams.

Like so many of the things that we do, yes, this is a lot of work and something emerging managers need to remember and strive to get better at.  Delegating responsibilities to others is not an easy thing to do and is something that one has to learn to be comfortable doing. 

2020 Recap – Meeting Goals

We can all breathe a sigh of relief – 2020 is now over and in the books. This certainly has been a year that can be named after the Clint Eastwood classic, “The Good, The Bad and the Ugly.” We have seen it all, lived to survive it, seen good people fall to the pandemic, watched a crazy political season (with the related wacky news media) and have still strived to accomplish something. Each year, we start off listing out the goals and objectives for the upcoming 12 months.  However, 2020 saw many people rip out that page in the book, crumple the paper up and toss it in the garbage.  Let’s face it, I could have written out the same thing last year in regards to 2019 with removing the pandemic reference.  Truth is, there were more challenges in 2020 than in prior years…but, as a challenge, they should still be met heads on and met face-to-face. As James Allen stated so well, “Adversity does not build character, it reveals it.”

One benefit from this year due to self-quarantining was the ability to reflect (“The Good, the Bad and the Ugly”).  Most people do not like to sit and focus on themselves, as it can be uncomfortable to find out one might learn about themselves. However, self-reflection is key to understanding where you are in your life, finding opportunities for continued personal development and a measurement of how you are proceeding. As Aristotle put it, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” We have had plenty of time for this type of activity and it looks like we will start off 2021 with the same chances to repeat.

Another benefit, for Debbie and me, was having our daughters still living with us. This year was an opportunity to enjoy our family in a way we would have otherwise not had the chance to do. The past months have given us time to learn more about each other (“The Good, the Bad and the Ugly”) and, honestly, come to find that we are able to survive and live together in peace and harmony. There was the occasion recently where I had a commitment and felt bad that I would miss eating dinner with my family. “After 9 months of eating every dinner together, you can miss one dinner,” was the response I got. As we managed together, it was good to have this time to remember once the girls move out and live their own lives.

As Mahatma Gandhi stated, “I cried because I had no shoes, then I met a man who had no feet.”  We have to continually remind ourselves that no matter how bad we have it, someone else has it worse off. Helping those in need is always a way to focus on what we have, as we give a helping hand to relieve other’s true misfortunes. Being heavily involved in my synagogue, it is a wonderful feeling to see the generosity displayed by the congregation and others in reaching out in many ways, providing food, toys, donations (time and money) and other ways to help out.

While we all hope that 2021 is a better year than 2020, this is a wish we should have each year. Let’s face it, I could have written out the same thing last year in regards to 2020 or next year relating to 2022, with the pandemic removed from our lives. Here’s to the good from 2020 and the good for 2021!

The Blame Game

Even though the elections are over, fingers are still being pointed about the final outcome.  And so, the Blame Game has begun.  We are in the midst of learning who is to blame for the outcome of the election, who we can blame for the process and, most importantly, start preparing for whom we can blame going forward.  As someone that looks for lessons and likes to share that knowledge, good leaders are often the examples to follow – I am not so sure that what I am seeing are examples of good leadership.  For me, a good leader takes ownership of their actions, will “take the blame for failures” while passing on the successes to the appropriate team member, work as part of a team towards a common goal and understands the needs of the people they are leading.  Which brings me to the current election cycle…

To start with, let’s look at the current blame being thrown around (closely aligned with its partner in crime – excuses).  The big glaring blame is losing an election due to mail fraud, which has now turned into the excuse for losing.  Yes, I am certain there is some element of this, but without substantial proof this is passing the blame on, without reflecting on the portrayal of oneself.  Then there is the blame of “We lost because of a group’s position within our party.”  Really?  This makes people wonder what they were doing during the campaign process and how they did not realize they were not connecting with their potential constituents. Goes back to fact that a leader needs to listen, which many candidates did not.  And of course, the classic, “It’s not my fault.” Aside from campaigning, it is safe to say that votes are won by candidates based on how we perceive the person running for office, not necessarily their policies and platforms. For those that are undecided and see a candidate acting unprofessional and being a jerk towards others, will vote against you, regardless of your position on important matters.

The bad thing is that there is already pointing the blame for things that have not happened yet, but instead planning for future failure.  To me this is odd because this is planning for failure, already lining up whom to blame and the excuses you will give.  By already planning these out, they can easily pull the “I told you so.”  Folks, I have to be honest – these are the people we elected to lead…if they are planning for failure, why did we select them?  In any leader, I would prefer seeing them say this is what I stand for (the reason we should be electing people, not by looks or demeanor), doing their best and then we all can evaluate the job.  They fail, because they failed and not because other circumstances made it impossible to stand up for themselves.  I do not want to hear, “We did not have enough people” means they did not try working together (aka, never learned to play together in the sand box).  “I did this for you and now you MUST do this for me” is also pathetic.  Elections are won (or lost) by the majority and everyone should feel they helped, not a mindset of entitlement based on “my group pushed you over the line,” which is extremely difficult to validate.  As Abraham Lincoln so aptly stated, our government is a “Government of the people, by the people, for the people…”  I think many elected officials forget that and are more concerned about partisan politics instead of what is best for the people that put them in those positions.

Playing the Blame Game means that we do not have to take a step back to really take a look at the bigger picture.  If you pass enough blame around, throw in a heavy dosage of excuses, you might reach the point where everyone feels sorry for you, or depending on how you are playing the game, you might come off as the “boy that cried wolf.”  Bob Dylan, in the song “It’s Alright, Ma (I’m Only Bleeding)” stated so well, when he sang “…even the president of the United States Sometimes must have to stand naked.”  At the end of a day when playing the Blame Game, we still have only ourselves left to stand bare to the truths, whether we are the president or not.  Those that still decry, “I won, it was stolen,” or “…at least we have the gavel…” have to be able to live with themselves.  As far as I am concerned, not only those playing the Blame Game lose, unfortunately, we the spectators do not always win.

Caveat emptor, it is now your turn to spin the wheel on The Blame Game.

I Got This!

“I got this!”  How many times have we heard this?  How many times have we said this?  There are two outcomes – you got this, own whatever you got and complete whatever it is.  Or, you do not got it, never took ownership and dropped the ball.  In the first case, you take the required action based on your commitment.  This brings up my favorite definition of commitment – Doing the things that you said you would do long after the moment you said it has passed.  In the second case, all you did was provide lip service, whether to make yourself feel good or to answer the way you think your audience wants to hear it.  Which brings up the question, how many times have you heard these words and knew enough up front that they were just words? 

Raising your hand and agreeing to do something = ownership, accountability and responsibility.  These can be scary words as it puts the pressure on us, causes people to keep an eye on our actions and requires us to take action.  Commitment has a cost, as it locks you into following through, answer to your actions and complete what you set out to do.  Sometimes we are assigned things to do, sometimes we volunteer and sometimes things just land in our laps.  Obviously, we are more apt to gravitate to the tasks or roles that we volunteer for, as it aligns with our passions, provides interest and piques our curiosity.  In all cases, once it falls in our lap, it is ours until someone else picks up the mantle and “runs with it.”

When we do not follow through with our commitments, we let down not only ourselves, but others around us.  We need to realize that working in a group, or team environment, each person relies on each other for a mutual goal.  Like a giant game of Jenga, there are pieces that will not have an impact and others that can topple the entire structure.  The complexity is increased when all of the components seem the same and there appears to be little differentiation.  I understand, as there was a point in my life (a long time ago) where I found it easier to make a loose fist, stick out my index finger, point it and magically plant the blame on someone else.  This made life seem easier.  Why? Because if it is someone else’s fault, then the pressure is off you and you feel that you can walk away unscathed.  In reality, you did not fool anyone, as the mess created by the lack of ownership still has to be addressed and now falls into someone else’s lap.

We are all familiar with the plaque that sat on the desk of President Truman’s famous words, “The buck stops here.”  Good words for anyone in a leadership position, as these words apply whether in our home life, work life or other aspect, the buck always should stop with us.  When you are the person at the top, there is nobody to blame, no excuses, but to own the things that we commit to. 

Observations from Behind the Mask

Dining outside (or eating al fresco), people laughing together and children running up and down the sidewalk – clear signs that summer is here.  I recently got to watch this scene.  While what I was watching would normally be a heart-warming summer scene, it was painfully clear that I was the only one concerned about a mask; the children were running up and down the sidewalk, where unmasked diners (at a safe social distance) were eating.  The parent, mask-less, showed no mind and I saw the father walk up to the next table, say something and pat the guy on the shoulder.

For almost four months, myself, our family and our friends have been listening and following the CDC and government guidelines.  My father is still in Florida and it has been a long time since we have seen each other face-to-face (virtually – of course).  My mother-in-law’s place is keeping the inside and outside world apart in a measure to provide protection.  My family has been working from home since March to minimize the spread of COVID-19.  We wear masks when we go out to protect ourselves and to protect the ones we love and care about.  I was once taught that on an airplane, during the safety talk, there is a reason why when the air mask drops, you use it first, then help others – if you do not, you have jeopardized your health and the person(s) you would have helped.  One needs to be healthy to help those in need. Wearing that mask is a selfless act, a sign that we care and want us all to survive this pandemic.

People have gotten arrested for thinking it was OK to publicly cough on someone – it is not. 

People think that once you wear the mask past the security guard, it is OK to remove it – it is not. 

People want to believe their children are safe and do not need a mask – it is not. 

There was recently a case where a young nurse went to a bar to celebrate something and the whole group caught COVID-19.  Her comment was “I should have known better.”

When states opened up, people forgot about the pandemic and the numbers went up (think of the old commercial, “they told two people, who each told two people…”).

As I stood there, watching the scene at the restaurant, the establishment was following the guidelines; it was the patrons who did not.  Going to the supermarket, the establishment was following the guidelines; it was the shoppers who did not.  It is easy to get lulled into a false sense of comfort, to remove the mask and gain a (false) feeling of freedom.  The risk…it ain’t worth it.  It is not worth for me to catch it, to unknowingly spread it and to hurt others.  I do not like wearing the mask, but happy to do so, and when I do not want to wear it, I will be happy to stay home.

On the Inside Looking Out

I have barely stepped outside this week.  No, I am not infected nor under quarantine.  Nor am I afraid of getting sick myself.  It is easy to follow the guidelines for social distancing, washing our hands and making smart choices.  If we each lived on our own special island, this would be a piece of cake to follow.  For all the times you were driving your car, going at the correct speed limit and maintaining a safe distance to the car in front of you, did some jerk going way over the speed limit cut in front of you to get to the lane to your right, then weave through every car across all of the lanes in front of you?  There is a good chance that the same person is ignoring the healthy guidelines in place to combat COVID-19.  In a car, you can tap the brakes to avoid any accidents; however, when you are innocently in the public, you can be fully exposed.

I had to make another tough choice this week.  This time it was personal in nature.  My father has been in Florida since October and I have been looking forward to visiting him.  I spent the majority of January and February traveling for work, so March became the time I had to go to Florida and spend with my father and my brother (who is in Florida for a few months).  Yes, I have been looking forward to the visit and figured out how to go to Florida, then fly, return trip, from there for work back up here.  Everything was falling into place and after many months of just talking on the phone, I would be able to see my dad face-to-face.  “Mann Tracht, Un Gott Lacht” (Man plans, G-d Laughs) and the best laid plans were tossed out the window, as I have sadly cancelled my trip.  While I am healthy and able, I cannot take the chance that the jerk in my car example above might be next to me, one plane seat over or sneeze as they are walking by.  In that case, I potentially could infect others…especially my father.

When you are on a plane, and they are going through the safety measures, they tell you to take the oxygen first, then help other.  While this seems selfish, to help yourself before someone else, I would need to be in a good condition.  This analogy works in many parts of life, related to health, finances, etc.  As we face this unknown pandemic, where we have no idea where this will lead, the impact on us and the long range effects, for me to remain healthy means that I will do what I can so that I will not contaminate others, will be able to lend a hand if needed and help to watch over my family.  While it might look like my health is selfish – by maintaining my health, I should be able to protect others (in this case).  If there is one thing that I have learned over the past many years, I am not the only one who lives on this planet called Earth.  While I might consider myself as #1, it would be a lonely place to live if #1 meant there was no one else to be with.  Make wise choices to not only protect yourself, but to keep others safe as well.

The Hard Decision

To close or not to close…that was the question plaguing me all week long.  As President of our synagogue, I looked towards President Truman for guidance when he stated that “The buck stops here.”  As with all organizations, there are boards, advisors, officers and others in leadership positions – as was recently put to me, we all report to someone - I never felt such a weight as what to do.  “The choice is easy,” was what I had heard.  True, when it comes down to yes or no, then I have only two options to select from.  Easy, but not so simple.  When there are a large group of people that you are responsible for, when there is a perception about your organization, when you wonder about the long range impact of the decision, and, when you wonder how it fell onto your shoulders, the simple yes or no makes you feel like Atlas with the entire world on your shoulders.

Two weeks ago, there was only a threat of the Novel Coronavirus impacting the United States.  People began avoiding certain beers (with a similar), avoiding ethnic foods, etc., which all made for good jokes…at that time.  However, when the media made the decision to have the Coronavirus the most important story of all time, politicians used this as fodder for their attacks and positioning, we the people had no where to turn.  I merely scan the headlines, and I do not listen nor watch the news.  If there is something that impacts me, or is really important, I will find out about it.  The Covid-19?  There is no way, unless you live in a hole in the middle of nowhere could you miss this.  Separating fact from fiction, the origin, who is responsible, etc. is enough to make me close and lock my front door just to keep it all out. 

Back to having a level head, not falling victim to mass hysteria and taking things in their proper perspective:  The CDC on their website states that “…some people are at higher risk of getting very sick from this illness. This includes:

·         Older adults

·         People who have serious chronic medical conditions like:

o   Heart disease

o   Diabetes

o   Lung disease”

At 57, I am one of the younger people in our congregation.  Which means that we have members falling into the CDC’s classification for higher risk. 

Which brings me to the decision at hand.  The synagogue is supposed to be, as all religious institutes, a safe place to congregate, pray and socialize.  We come together in good times and in bad.  A part of our community’s lives revolve around that place of brick and mortar.  But, if one person, no matter how remote, became the “Typhoid Mary” of our community, we are left with the single question, “Did we do enough to protect our people?”  Leaders lead and at the end of the day, must make decisions for the benefit of all, not him or herself, not for one group, but for everyone.  That is the hard part, whether there is a pandemic or just choices that are needed for the future.  Though the building is dark for today, we are still here for those in need and look forward to when the doors reopen for a brighter tomorrow.

The Famiy Curse

As a young adult, I found out that there was a family curse, one that possibly lead to the death of my paternal grandmother years earlier.  I was shocked!  A family curse?  My mind raced off to the literature I read (minimal at that point), comic books (which I did read) and cartoons (go Bugs Bunny), and had the immediate vision of either a twisted, wart covered old hag or some robed old wizard with a long pointy beard and a pointy hat covered in stars, from the “old country”, casting a hex upon our family.  Based on my facial contusions, my parents continued that my grandmother had diabetes, inherited from prior generations.  The “spell” on me was broken, popped like a pin pricking a balloon.  While diabetes is serious, I was confused as to why this was a secret, cast under a dark cloud, and only mentioned in hushed voices behind closed doors when no one could hear you.

There are many thought leaders that point out the best way to motivate someone is through love or fear.  Love gives us that warm, welcome feeling of belonging and connecting with others.  Fear raises the fight or flee instincts buried within us and makes us do things to protect ourselves, binds us together against a common enemy and then we can step back and think about it afterwards.  As I am sitting here with some statistics, I am amazed at the capacity of fear.  For example, as of May 3, the United States had 32 million confirmed cases of the flu, which resulted in 18,000 deaths.  If I came to you and said that globally, 100,000 caught something, 3400 died from it, and only 100 confirmed case in the United States (at that date) – which would be the bigger concern?  Obviously the one with the larger statistics should be of utmost concern.

Getting back to my family curse.  As my parents explained to me, in the early 1900’s, pushing further back to small town (shtetls) in Europe, Diabetes was a fairly unknown disease, who’s consequences were deadly.  It was this broad unknown that people felt was brought upon by the evil eye.  Yes, that meant that I came from a group of people that were superstitious (red bendl under the crib, stupid piece on the challah, etc. superstitious), and attributed bad things to things done wrong.  While we understand Diabetes today, there was a point in time where my ancestors did not, so they assumed it was a curse.  Yes, when faced with the unknown, we tend to fear what we do not know and our fight or flight instincts kick in.  The key today is to maintain healthy practices (which you should do anyway), like washing your hands, using your cough / sneeze pocket, instead of coughing or sneezing into your hands, and stay home if you do not feel well.  While we face this current health crisis, it is important that we follow valid health sources (not politicians and newspapers) and maintain a level head.  Be assured that this too shall pass as we become more educated and no longer feel that dark cloud hanging over our heads.

Taking the Helm

Entitlement: “The fact of having a right to something,” or, “The belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.” ~ Oxford Dictionary

As part of going through the goal setting process for this year, it is important that we use proper language in writing out our objectives.  One of the key points in setting goals is to define the actions that you will take to achieve them.  The key here is the actions that YOU will take.  If my goal is to sit here and rely on others, then you are banking on someone else’s goals to include you and benefit you.  Let me be the first to warn you…You will have a long wait.  No matter what you might think that you have done for others, that does not mean that you are entitled to something in return.  Humans tend to be a little more self-centered by nature!

I remember hearing political campaigns where the people in the audience would tell reporters “that is my candidate, because he will take care of me.”  Again, sorry to be the first to warn you…Many, but not all, politicians will tell you what you want to hear or present agenda items to you to lead you to a conclusion that may or may not benefit you.  We are a species who are definitely influenced by our emotions, the two strongest being fear and love.  Some of the greatest (and evil) dictators of all time played on emotions to mobilize the masses to engage in activities that they might have done on their own.  If someone can arouse your fears, tell you what to do and then they will make it better – beware.

Many years ago, I decided to get my MBA in Finance.  The company that I was working for at that time had a tuition reimbursement program.  Being employed as an Accountant, there was no issue on getting their agreement.  I spent four years going to school at night to get this new degree, where it was my choice to go back to school, my choice to improve self and my choice to dedicate the time required to get a good grade in the effort.  I had heard plenty of stories that if you go back to school, when you graduate you are entitled to a raise automatically.  When I graduated, my manager congratulated me with a pat on the back and Debbie (my fiancé at the time) sent me balloons at work.  I found out that I was entitled to no raise, promotion or even a happy hour.  I was not upset, because my reasons for going back to school were for my personal benefit, not to make me entitled.  At work, my pay is based on the value that I bring to my company, not what I think that I am entitled to.

One week after talking goals, why was this on my mind?  Because sometimes, we do forget that we need to be in control of our own paths.  Roadblocks, bumps in the road and extenuating circumstances are all things that are beyond our control.  True in our lives, whether personal, at work, at play or anywhere else.  If we focus on the things that can control, we will have a better chance of reaching our goals, as opposed to ceding control and relying on others.  To be up front, I have thought about after my years invested in raising / providing for my family, working long hours and helping other, etc., that will come a day where I can sit back, relax and let someone else take care of me.  It is a mindset thing because, I do not know if I even could sit still, cede control of everything to someone or even just relax.  I do know, that if that were to happen, I better plan now for it instead of waiting to see who will do all that for me. 

New Year, New Me?

The importance of setting goals

As we have been taught from a young age, the new year is a time for setting our goals, with the corollary being a new year a new you.  I have heard some people push back on this and minimize the importance.  Do we really need to set our goals on January 1^st?  The real answer is no – we can set goals during the course of the year, but need to remember to set targets for achievement and a date by which to meet those goals.  Is it easier to start something on January 1 and end on December 31?  Yes, as we have a date defined for us when to begin and when to end.  In either case, it is important to review where you are at along the way; we should never fall into the trap of being 11 months in before we take a first look at how we are doing.  As a project manager, no client would wait that long into a project to gather feedback, hold their breath on the status, or expect no adjustments along the way.  That is a business case that we can apply to our own lives, such as when I shared the journey a few years ago on changing my habits on food and exercise.

Writing out our goals

Making a public declaration of our goals is one thing.  How many of you actually hand write them down?  As a confession, sometimes I have and sometimes I have not.  However, many thought leaders and successful people in various fields swear by the benefits of writing down goals and doing so in detail.  There is the often-repeated story about Jim Carey writing down his earnings goals when he got to Hollywood.  There is the story that circulated about a man finding the picture he drew of his dream house that he found years after he was living in his dream house; he drew a picture of the house he was living in many years before the house was purchased.  Or the cases where a spouse has written out in detail the mate they hoped to meet and eventually did.  There are plenty of articles on the internet that explain the Neuroscience studies on this.  The simple explanation is that by writing down our goals in detail will help to encode the information to our brain.  Our brain unconsciously then works, or focuses, on what we have passed it, sort of like when you are thinking about a new car you are interested in and all of a sudden, you see that car everywhere.  James Allen wrote the classic book, “As a Man Thinketh” in 1903, and his points about thinking and following through were true then and have science to back it up today.

Goals that are attainable and realistic

“I want to be president of an organization.”  “I want millions of dollars.”  “I want a life of complete financial freedom.”  These are all great goals!  But, are they realistic to achieve in 12 months?  For each of these three and many more big goals (yes, we should think big), in reality there are many steps along the way to reach our desires – there are no shortcuts.  I am president of my synagogue (goal 1?) and this goal did not occur overnight.  I worked on committees, co-chaired a committee with my wife, joined the Board, then was a vice-president for 5 years where I had the opportunity to “learn the ropes.”  In the business world, there would need to be years in various positions before being able to move into a top position.  For the monetary goals, unless you are one of the few that invents the next best thing since sliced bread, you have to be willing to follow a path, with a series of goals that need to be met (in terms of areas of expertise), that include knowledge building and financial earnings power.  The big goals may be multi-year, but the current goals need to be realistic so that achieving them will cause you to continue towards the bigger goals, as opposed to failing, getting frustrated and walking away from your dreams.

Next Steps

Now comes the hard part – putting pen to paper.  Write down your goals, plan out your milestones and start a periodic review process.  Not sure you know everything that you need to?  This is where personal development comes into play; begin by creating a reading plan and attend seminars (much easier with the web).  I know that it has become a cliché statement, but now that you have “planned the work, you need to work the plan.”  Here’s to a fruitful and productive year!

Can You Spot the Leader?

Team Leader, Manager, Counselor, Head Usher, Supervisor, Chairman, Director, Vice President, President, Business Owner.  Here is a list of titles, that also represent roles or positions, where the person who carries that label must be able to work with others, lead, inspire, manage and assume certain responsibilities.  Within different groups or organizations, each of those roles who have different authorizations, capabilities and tasks that fall on the shoulders of that person.  “Why would you want that?” is a question I have heard, whether said directly to me or in regards to others. 

So, you want to be a leader?  That is something that is honorable to aspire towards.  “It looks easy” and “I can do what he/she does” are common phrases I have heard.  John C. Maxwell, leadership expert and author, once wrote that when he first took a leadership role (as a pastor), he thought that he could do what he wanted to and everyone would follow along because he was the leader.  When I was studying for my MBA, I took a management course and the professor made it clear that there are leaders who have a title and leaders who do not.  That was the topic that Robin Sharma, author and leadership expert, explored in his book, “Leading Without a Title.”  Leadership is a term, whether or not you have the title, that is defined by the Oxford Dictionary (from the website Lexico) as “The action of leading a group of people or an organization.”

Can you spot a leader?  Forbes identifies 11  traits of a powerful leader (from a March 22, 2017 posting) as: Having the ability to self-manage, Act Strategically, Being an Effective Communicator, Being Accountable and Responsible, Setting and Achieving Clear Goals, Vision for the Future, Manage Complexity, Fostering Creativity/Innovation, Team Building / Teamwork, Create Lasting Relationships, Ability to Learn.  That is certainly a long list, though it is pretty inclusive of a lot of vital traits.  We all know or have worked for people who have embodied many of these traits.  We all know or have worked with people who have embodied these traits but do not have a title.  As well, we also all know or have worked for people who have the title but none (or few) of the traits.

Do you have what it takes to be a leader?  Look at the list provided by the Forbes article.  It is easy to look in the mirror and see which traits the person staring back at you has.  And be honest with yourself!  Most of the items you might fall short on are learnable through personal development (classes, seminars and books).  Some institutions provide furthering education to learn these traits.  Some are a little more esoteric, such as having a vision for the future.  Another method of learning would be through experience – not everything will be successful, but each failure will teach you something that you can apply next time to become successful.  Remember the list at the top?  Those were some of the titles that I have been labeled with during the course of my life so far.  I still subscribe to the saying that leaders are readers and that to be a leader you have to be open to learn, listen and look for opportunities that benefit all.