The Blame Game

Even though the elections are over, fingers are still being pointed about the final outcome.  And so, the Blame Game has begun.  We are in the midst of learning who is to blame for the outcome of the election, who we can blame for the process and, most importantly, start preparing for whom we can blame going forward.  As someone that looks for lessons and likes to share that knowledge, good leaders are often the examples to follow – I am not so sure that what I am seeing are examples of good leadership.  For me, a good leader takes ownership of their actions, will “take the blame for failures” while passing on the successes to the appropriate team member, work as part of a team towards a common goal and understands the needs of the people they are leading.  Which brings me to the current election cycle…

To start with, let’s look at the current blame being thrown around (closely aligned with its partner in crime – excuses).  The big glaring blame is losing an election due to mail fraud, which has now turned into the excuse for losing.  Yes, I am certain there is some element of this, but without substantial proof this is passing the blame on, without reflecting on the portrayal of oneself.  Then there is the blame of “We lost because of a group’s position within our party.”  Really?  This makes people wonder what they were doing during the campaign process and how they did not realize they were not connecting with their potential constituents. Goes back to fact that a leader needs to listen, which many candidates did not.  And of course, the classic, “It’s not my fault.” Aside from campaigning, it is safe to say that votes are won by candidates based on how we perceive the person running for office, not necessarily their policies and platforms. For those that are undecided and see a candidate acting unprofessional and being a jerk towards others, will vote against you, regardless of your position on important matters.

The bad thing is that there is already pointing the blame for things that have not happened yet, but instead planning for future failure.  To me this is odd because this is planning for failure, already lining up whom to blame and the excuses you will give.  By already planning these out, they can easily pull the “I told you so.”  Folks, I have to be honest – these are the people we elected to lead…if they are planning for failure, why did we select them?  In any leader, I would prefer seeing them say this is what I stand for (the reason we should be electing people, not by looks or demeanor), doing their best and then we all can evaluate the job.  They fail, because they failed and not because other circumstances made it impossible to stand up for themselves.  I do not want to hear, “We did not have enough people” means they did not try working together (aka, never learned to play together in the sand box).  “I did this for you and now you MUST do this for me” is also pathetic.  Elections are won (or lost) by the majority and everyone should feel they helped, not a mindset of entitlement based on “my group pushed you over the line,” which is extremely difficult to validate.  As Abraham Lincoln so aptly stated, our government is a “Government of the people, by the people, for the people…”  I think many elected officials forget that and are more concerned about partisan politics instead of what is best for the people that put them in those positions.

Playing the Blame Game means that we do not have to take a step back to really take a look at the bigger picture.  If you pass enough blame around, throw in a heavy dosage of excuses, you might reach the point where everyone feels sorry for you, or depending on how you are playing the game, you might come off as the “boy that cried wolf.”  Bob Dylan, in the song “It’s Alright, Ma (I’m Only Bleeding)” stated so well, when he sang “…even the president of the United States Sometimes must have to stand naked.”  At the end of a day when playing the Blame Game, we still have only ourselves left to stand bare to the truths, whether we are the president or not.  Those that still decry, “I won, it was stolen,” or “…at least we have the gavel…” have to be able to live with themselves.  As far as I am concerned, not only those playing the Blame Game lose, unfortunately, we the spectators do not always win.

Caveat emptor, it is now your turn to spin the wheel on The Blame Game.

Rinse Cycle

I think that most of the time we forget about how awesome our country is.  If you spend time watching or listening to media, all you hear are points of negativity, failure posturing and political condemnation.  It is a rare occasion when the news covers about the beautiful landscapes and type of terrains that exist.  If you were to evaluate our country based on the media, you would potentially have a distorted view. I realize that the prism in which we view the universe in provides us with what we believe to be true, but that does not always mean that is the truth.

This past weekend, Debbie and I had a chance to visit one of the awesome treasures that we have in our country.  We had the opportunity to spend the weekend in Sedona, Arizona – a truly cool place that was grand on many levels.  As we drove through the winding mountain routes (route 89), we saw a gap between the mountains that made us go “Wow!” out loud.  After coming from the Scottsdale / Phoenix area, where these cities were full of people, buildings and noise, the relative quiet, open space and relaxing feeling while standing near the red rock formations was easily impactful on us.  In the short time we had, we explored their tourist area, went off roading on a jeep tour, ate our meals outdoors while looking out at the scenery and found spots for solitude and reflection.  By the time we left, we felt that this was a place to return for a longer period of time.

Under the hustle and bustle of life, where we spend our valuable time striving to make a difference, support our families and champion causes, we sometimes forget to stop and catch our breath.  Yes, I know that I write about this after I actually have had a chance to “press the rinse cycle” on my life, take a brief break and reset my perspective.  This time, we had a chance to view natural wonders and breathe in some fresh, untainted air.  We left our worries behind, stopped thinking about the “daily grind” and enjoyed our precious time together in a really different environment; an environment that was here long before our families arrived on these shores and one that will long outlive our generations to come.  Sometimes, we get caught up in the “BS” that assails our senses and forget that we do truly have a great nation, with awesome places to visit and natural adventures to be experienced.

The Return of McCarthyism?

With a flourish of his hand, the illusionist causes our eyes, and most importantly, our attention, to move in the direction he leads us, and away from where he does not want us to look.  The impact is that something unexpected and magical occurs.  I am not talking magical today in any way shape or form.  However, the flash by the illusionist creates a distraction, which for entertainment purposes, has a wonderful outcome.  In real life, distractions can become just that – distractions.  And, when they become out of hand…

I generally avoid writing anything political, as I find politics extremely divisive, especially in an age of false news (on both sides of the aisle), playing off people's fear and a general lack of broad subject knowledge.  Darren Hardy puts it bluntly about not reading the news (which is highly subjective), as most of it is negative in nature and has zero impact on my personal goals and objectives.  However, after seven months of allegations of Russians tampering with our elections, without any solid proof, without any legal actions and no arrests made, I am tired of hearing about this everywhere I go.  This is a (planned) distraction not only for our leaders, but has foreign leaders distracted as they either defend themselves or weigh in on this topic.  We are living the Salem Witch hunt and the hunt for American Communists all over.  So much so, when I talk to my friends outside the US, this distraction has invaded their news as well.

One of the fundamental Constitutional rights as Americans is that we are innocent until proven guilty.  This ensures our right to due legal process and protects the individual until such time as they are guilty in the eyes of the law, as determined by a jury of peers.  Unfortunately, there have been too many public people (not only politicians) tried in the court of public opinion, and then condemned, prior to any proof of guilt, any investigative evidence and real arrests.  During the 1950s, at the onset of the Cold War, there was a lot of fear of Communism, which led to hysteria, about who was a communist in America and who might be helping our #1 enemy - the Russians.  Let us not fool ourselves, spies exists and have throughout time, as a way of attempting to learn what each side knows about the other, to gain an advantage and to keep enemies in check.  Coupled with one of the drivers of humanity, fear, this was heightened during the 1950s.  Add to this one Joseph McCarthy, who was a U.S. senator, was able to leverage a national fear that led to the hunt for Communists in our government, in the world of entertainment and led to people eying each other suspiciously, also referred to as the “Red Scare”.  Fear spread, people called to testify, names given and careers destroyed.  The nation watched, in a complete distraction, for months, as no indictment occurred, no official arrests made and no one found guilty.   In the end, Senator McCarthy's house of cards collapsed, but not without a negative impact (i.e., the term McCarthyism still has a bad connotation).

Playing on these types of fears is nothing new.  Remember the Salem Witch trials?  A case of some disgruntled children feeding off the fears of a superstitious group that led to a false trial.  For some reason, we are sucked into following these types of events; believe innuendo and hyperbole, condemn actions, whether or not there is truth behind it.  How about the in the 1980’s with the Tawana Brawley incident that ruined an innocent police officer’s career, and this was headlines for weeks on end?  This is one (of many) reasons I do not follow the news, even though it is hard to get away from this nonsense.

As hard as it is to ignore, sensational news, false news, or whatever you want to call it, is a distraction.  Time is better spent on focusing on my family, my work, the places where I volunteer, and things that have a direct impact on me.  Time spent on personal pursuits have more of an impact on my life seems like a better way for me spend my time, and to walk away from the constant distraction that continually attempt to bombard me.  As it is, I have now spent on this topic more than enough time than it deserves.  Off to join my family in the pool, but that is a topic when we next meet…

Integrity – Is It Still a Valid Value?

Cambridge English Dictionary defines integrity as “the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles,” and “wholeness and unity.”

I value integrity highly in my life.  We teach our children to have integrity.  Growing up I was taught the importance of living an honest life and having a set of good values.  Both of my parents were involved in community and charitable organizations.  One of my grandfathers was in sales and firmly believed in honesty and portraying an image that exemplified his belief system.  He used to tell the story of dressing in his suit to call upon meat packers.  This would be driving to what might, in appearance, seem a seedy section of the city, enter a building where bins of entrails (refuse) were being moved around and butchering was in progress.  Some of his associates laughed at him for dressing up.  He believed that he was there to sell, so he should dress the part, not walk in like he was from the meat processing line.  While his associates laughed, he was the one that was successful at his trade.  He was a man of integrity.

What has happened to integrity and honesty?  When have these values no longer become popular?  How do we as parents promote positive behavior in an environment where “fake news” is a thing?  As a project manager, if I were to communicate “fake updates” to management, I am certain that management would have some large, serious looking person escort me, with a box that was packed for me, to the exit door.

We recently went through an election cycle.  Gab and Bec had the opportunity for the first time to be involved, voice their opinion and participate in the Presidential election.  As a parent, I was excited for them, as I remember my first similar experience.  Living in a home with positive values, allowed them to use their freedom of choice to vote for the candidate they thought would best fill the roll.  Truth is, sometimes my candidate wins, and sometimes they lose.  We taught the girls that it is all right to be upset when you lose, but not to be sore losers.  Some of our elected officials have been sore losers (i.e., protesting outside an elected officials home…when they are not there), some of our elected officials are KNOWINGLY BREAKING THE LAW (i.e., sanctuary cities), and some even ignore the items on their campaigns they were elected for.  Yes, we can teach our youth the lack of integrity, the lack of honesty; but how do we reconcile the re-election of these individuals?  How do they remain outside the law?

Let me be clear, my thoughts are not directed specifically to one party or the other; for these issues sometimes occur between different factions within the same political party.  The lack of integrity in politics has been in existence for a long time.  Seems that as of lately, it has become fashionable to explicitly wear the lack of integrity on our sleeves, promote not working together (an attitude of us versus them is not successful thinking) and completely ignore the rule of law.  I will happily be unfashionable this season, but glad to keep my integrity intact.

Where Has Integrity Gone?

“I meant what I said and I said what I meant,” said Horton the Elephant.

Except for Horton, how would you react if someone looked you in the eyes and said that line?  Would you be able to take them at face value?  How often do we expect someone to follow up on his or her words, or year after year tell us one thing and then do the opposite?  Is this someone you know personally, at work, a volunteer or even an elected official?

This is not an article declaring or deriding our political process, though as we go through the Presidential primary season, some of our candidates might easily seem to fall into my weekly thoughts.  Let us be honest, for all the public outcry over the Senate and the House of Representatives passing the Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare), which legally allows certain political persons to be excluded from the law, and most of voters passed the bill without reading the voluminous documents.  That election cycle, I did not agree with the process and refused to vote for the standing Congressmen, whether Democrat or Republican.  As unfavorable as the polls were, most elected officials were voted back in.  For a government, that Abraham Lincoln stated was “…of the people, by the people, for the people…” why do we continually re-elect those that do not do our bidding?  These are our representatives who tell us what they think they want us to hear, get elected, then do what they want.

That is an easy target.  How about the people we come across where we work or volunteer.  How often do we sit in a meeting and someone says they will handle what is being discussed.  Then at the next meeting, the item was not addressed, and the conversation feels, in the immortal words of Yogi Berra, “like déjà vu all over again?”  In other environments, there are times where we look towards leadership for guidance.  Guidance, believe it or not, is most effective when based on action not words, which means that we are more apt to follow in the footsteps of the leader, as opposed to words expressed or written.  Why?  Because as humans, we follow the dictate that believing is seeing. 

Why do people not step up and what is the lesson that I am driving at?

As if in answer to my question, I received the following from Darren Hardy:

Looks like one of the reasons people do not follow through is a fear of leadership, fear of making the decision, fear of followers and fear of failure.  This is again most noticeable in an elected position, where the role becomes more important (prestigious) than taking any action. Promises are made, never kept. Rhetoric is spoken, action never taken.  The Pink Floyd song, Dogs, states it correctly when they sing, “You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to…” If they fear failure, why do they think we will not notice that they do? In the subsequent election cycle, they point their fingers, make excuses and continue the lies, yet we ignore their track record, as if history does not matter, and believe them anew when they say their positions and will be accountable for their promises, only to be disappointed again.

As a person in leadership – be bold.  Napoleon Hill, in his book The Law of Success in Sixteen Lessons, wrote a lesson teaching Self-Confidence.  Leadership is having self-confidence, being bold, be willing to make mistakes, take responsibility and be honest.  Lead with integrity.  Now, those are the traits / people I prefer to follow…