Monday, October 16, 2017

On 26 Years of Marriage

Someone once asked, “What is the secret to a successful marriage?”  I do not remember if I answered immediately or not; but I am sure I realized that it is not one secret action to make it so.  I have known Debbie for 28+ years and at the end of the week, we will be married 26 years.  At this point, it is hard to recall a time in my adult life without her.  Yes, occasionally something will come up in conversation from the gap between college and meeting Debbie, but not often.  I am quite OK with my entire adult life being fully intertwined with Debbie.

As my anniversary approaches, it is a good time to reflect upon our lives together and, in a way, answer the question I was asked.  For me, I find that our successful includes, but is not limited to:

  • Being able to have shared experiences
  • Best travel partner
  • Raising children together
  • Supporting each other in bad times
  • Supporting each other in good times
  • Working together when faced with difficult decisions
  • Realizing that sometimes the sum of the parts is better / stronger than the individual parts
  • We are a team that works together
  • Love helps a lot, but is not the only thing
  • Spending time with my best friend
  • We are always there for each other
  • Having a shoulder to cry on, when needed
  • Realizing that we are different
  • Being able to share with each other, no matter how trivial it might be
  • Getting instant feedback
  • Knowing that sometimes we can do things separately
  • Appreciating each other’s activities
  • Creating memories together
  • Knowing that when we come home, we have each other and we are not alone
  • Looking forward to many more happy years ahead

Is marriage easy?  Like anything else, as the old adage goes, you get out what you put in.  Whenever you have someone else involved, you have to be considerate of them, include them in your activities and help support them.  That does take work and effort…at times.  After 26 fantastic years together, these types of things have become part of what we do; and it is not always fun and games.  When rough patches hit, we face them and we do that together.  As Debbie has said to me, “we are a team,” and I, personally, could not have asked for a better teammate!

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