Shave and a Haircut

My last haircut was towards the beginning of January.  Normally, I would have said that my next cut would be at the end of March / beginning of April.  Well, that plan did not work out.  I made the decision at that time to wait until we could go back out to the places where we used to go.  Like everyone else, I figured that in a few weeks, and just like a big storm, the dark clouds of the pandemic would blow away.  We all know how that went.  During this time, my family said that they would happily cut my hair for me.  I could have used the beard clipper (which on video calls looks like many chose that option).  A month ago, friend of mine suggested I use his barber…a razor.  I made the decision to tough it out and visually show that I am following the guidance provided.  For me, that was as important a point to make as it was to look well groomed. Since the pandemic started, I have been out to shop and a couple of social distance visits, but for the most part, I had started to become comfortable staying close to home and minimizing my trips into the larger world.  My comfort zone did shrink.

And then the guidance changed.   While I do like having long hair (remember the pony tail I use to have?), I was done with the unruly, caveman look.  But truth be told, after so much time at home, like many other people, I have to admit I was nervous to venture forth.  As I said, my comfort zone in the past four months had become more like a small bubble.  A week after the governor gave the OK – I decided to call for an appointment, hoping that it would be a few weeks before they could take me, giving me time to prepare for enlarging my comfort zone.  “How does 6:30 work for you,” the voice kindly asked.  I stammered, “I c-c-cannot m-m-m-make it tonight.”  “I am talking about Friday,” she responded.  I took the appointment and now had to venture out to a place I had not been to before the pandemic even began (the place I used moved locations).

Friday arrived, and with a show of confidence I left my house and my comfort zone.  I grabbed a disposable mask on the way out, having to ditch the bandana that I usually wear.  I was uncomfortable even in my car, when I realized that I had not even turned the car on yet.  I drove to the place and pulled up.  I tentatively walked up to the door, not sure if I was to open it, or needed to be escorted in.  I cannot believe that an action that was normal and natural felt like I was trying something new.  The receptionist saw me, opened the door and took my temperature.  There was one other person there who was finishing up and then they left.  By the time I signed the release form, I was up.  As I sat down, conversation started naturally and we caught up since we last met.  I sat there at ease and then I was finished.  It was a positive experience, though I am still very cautious and continue to remain diligent.  Being smart about how we handle ourselves (metaphor for many things) will lead us to good outcomes.  I had built up some fears about going out and wanting to remain safe.  Believe me, running to the shore to be amongst a crowd is still not an option for myself.  Although we are still in quarantine, every day my comfort zone gets slightly bigger and I feel more comfortable as things start to “get back to normal”.

Observations from Behind the Mask

Dining outside (or eating al fresco), people laughing together and children running up and down the sidewalk – clear signs that summer is here.  I recently got to watch this scene.  While what I was watching would normally be a heart-warming summer scene, it was painfully clear that I was the only one concerned about a mask; the children were running up and down the sidewalk, where unmasked diners (at a safe social distance) were eating.  The parent, mask-less, showed no mind and I saw the father walk up to the next table, say something and pat the guy on the shoulder.

For almost four months, myself, our family and our friends have been listening and following the CDC and government guidelines.  My father is still in Florida and it has been a long time since we have seen each other face-to-face (virtually – of course).  My mother-in-law’s place is keeping the inside and outside world apart in a measure to provide protection.  My family has been working from home since March to minimize the spread of COVID-19.  We wear masks when we go out to protect ourselves and to protect the ones we love and care about.  I was once taught that on an airplane, during the safety talk, there is a reason why when the air mask drops, you use it first, then help others – if you do not, you have jeopardized your health and the person(s) you would have helped.  One needs to be healthy to help those in need. Wearing that mask is a selfless act, a sign that we care and want us all to survive this pandemic.

People have gotten arrested for thinking it was OK to publicly cough on someone – it is not. 

People think that once you wear the mask past the security guard, it is OK to remove it – it is not. 

People want to believe their children are safe and do not need a mask – it is not. 

There was recently a case where a young nurse went to a bar to celebrate something and the whole group caught COVID-19.  Her comment was “I should have known better.”

When states opened up, people forgot about the pandemic and the numbers went up (think of the old commercial, “they told two people, who each told two people…”).

As I stood there, watching the scene at the restaurant, the establishment was following the guidelines; it was the patrons who did not.  Going to the supermarket, the establishment was following the guidelines; it was the shoppers who did not.  It is easy to get lulled into a false sense of comfort, to remove the mask and gain a (false) feeling of freedom.  The risk…it ain’t worth it.  It is not worth for me to catch it, to unknowingly spread it and to hurt others.  I do not like wearing the mask, but happy to do so, and when I do not want to wear it, I will be happy to stay home.

Leading During Covid-19

I have been involved in the change business for a few decades, related to system implementations and process improvements.  The rule of thumb has always been that people do not like change, as they are comfortable in what they do, use to how things work and do not like to step outside the box.  The similar comment is when someone says that they are going to change someone else.  You cannot change someone unless they want to change.  Same holds true in the business world.  You cannot change someone; they have to be open to the potential opportunities and then make their own decision to change.  Otherwise, they will get passed over.  As time marches on, technologies move forward and enhancements will always happen.

And then came the great Disruptor – COVID-19.  The COVID came with no policies, no pamphlets and no prior examples.  There were no guidelines how to react, how to live and how to lead during a pandemic where the best preparedness is everyone living in quarantine.  The impact was felt in daily life, businesses and volunteer organizations.  As president of a synagogue, there was no one to turn to, you could not ask how was this handled beforehand.  14 weeks in and we are still learning, still adjusting and still striving to exist in this “new world.”  Things that used to be important are no longer important and things we did not think about are now in the forefront of what needs to be addressed.

A Disruptor will always lead to a change or, in this case, many changes.  Video conferencing, which ten years ago was only for “fancy” businesses has become the communication tool for households desperate to connect visually with family, friends and associates.  The way we “congregate” is different.  Wrestling over the thoughts of broadcasting religious services, business meetings or casual gatherings have been dashed aside as the use of technology has brought us together…for some as a means of inclusion and others as a means of socialization.  In terms of change…when we plan a project, we expect change to take many months.  In the COVID time, change is rapid, rapid to meet daily needs, conduct business, religious needs and social needs.  It means that people in positions of leadership are stretched to react while the Disruptor is still here, and the need to respond to its every present, constant impact on our lives, how we conduct ourselves and how we treat each other.  We can, and will, take the bucket of lemons dumped onto us and turn them into lemon-aid.  Even though this is a time of challenge, it also means that it is also a time of opportunity, which means there is change afoot.

A Minor Milestone

I know that nobody will ever mistake me for a bodybuilder, an athlete, nor a sports-minded individual.  I am good with that and I am not about to completely change what I do.  However, it is nice to note that in a small accomplishment, I have reached a minor milestone, but one that I continue to keep pushing forward on.  I am talking only about exercising in my own home.

Over the course of my life, there have been many times where I considered exercising or doing any kind of physical activities.  My parents used to tell me that when I was young, I used to like to run.  I am not sure what happened…at some point I found myself in the section of clothes for “chubby” boys.  Because of my weight gain, I became a couch potato.  I did join soccer around that time, but I refused to run.  Needless to say, bad habits began to build.  At some point in high school, I had a growth spurt and my weight readjusted; the same weight was now on a taller body.  I liked playing basketball and a friend said we should try out for the High School team.  When I found out it included running, I did not even try out.  I had no confidence in myself.  Having to go to the gym where my peers would be weight lifting?  My stick arms and me bowed out, afraid to appear weak and wimpy (forget the image of a bespectacled band geek).

As I got older, I played pick up basketball with friends.  I was still afraid of the gym until Debbie started to go.  I went and realized that I was not the only “weak” one there.  I had reached a point in my life where I started to realize the value of exercise – ANY TYPE of exercise.  After many fits and starts, excuses on traveling and all other made up barriers, I finally found an app that had a variety of options.  I realized that I did not have to run, lift weights or take on other challenges.  After one or two false starts, I have now exercised for 96 straight weeks and have just passed the 900^th exercise.  If I miss a week, I go back to zero.  That ended up being a strong motivator.  I now exercise 4 to 5 times a week, including stretching or doing yoga.  I know that I am not going to break any records, look like Mr. America or run a marathon.  However, by being diligent and setting some goals, I am striving to be healthier and adhere to healthier habits.  Yes, it takes time and effort, but at the end of the day, I feel better about myself and what I have been doing.

A Normal Weekend?

11 weeks of remaining in our homes.  11 weeks of guidance requesting we maintain distance from other people.  11 weeks of wearing masks and gloves when venturing forth for simple, routine things like shopping for food.  11 weeks of being shut down.  11 weeks of whether or not you work, every day seems the same as the day before and the passage of time has become hard to follow.

Saturday, when we woke up, the sun was shining behind a few clouds and there was the promise of a warm, beautiful day.  Debbie and I needed to go shopping for food, something I have not done in the past week or two.  We went to the store to buy some essentials (OK, we did stop at the liquor store).  The supermarket was not that crowded.  When we went to check out, I said I would run to grab garbage bags while Debbie got in line.  I went to the aisle and, of course, grabbed toilet paper, paper towels and napkins along the way.  I stopped…the shelves were full (even though there were signs to limit purchase).  When we went back home, the sun was shining and we had outside work around the house to do.  In the evening, we had a social distance barbeque.  Sunday, we had more things to tend to and an event in the afternoon.

Come Sunday evening, we had finished dinner and reviewed items that we were going to buy on-line.  After some planning for the week ahead, the four of us (5 if you include our dog, Lucy Lou), sat down as a family to watch something on TV.  For the first time in 11 weeks of self-confinement, it felt like we had a “normal” weekend.  OK, we did have masks on when we were shopping.  I picked up a pizza and I was masked and only one person at a time was able to come in for pick up.  But still…we had outside activities, had face-to-face time with other people (at a distant) and accomplished things.  For once, the weekend did not feel like every other day of the week.  For once, in many, many weeks, I felt a real break in the week and it felt great!

Breaking the Sameness

Egg and Cheese on homemade challah rolls on the back deck

My days always seem the same – wake up, motivate myself to exercise, shower, eat breakfast, go to the basement to work, eat lunch, go back to the basement, work until dinner, eat, and have a synagogue meeting.  Some days, we really change it up and have a meeting before dinner.  Nights always end with a little family time.  I am even learning to play Mah Jongg.  Weekends are spent catching up on sleep, motivating to exercise, showering, etc.  On the weekends Debbie and I go shopping for the week gloved and masked.  I have to confess; I do get anxious if I am like that for too long.  This might be our new normal for the time being and I am amazed how after this amount of time, I have become a little comfortable with this.  I guess that our ability to adapt has always been key to the survival of our species.

We are doing our part to protect ourselves and all of the people we know.  And now the weather has turned nice – finally the warm weather is here.  This morning (Sunday as I write), Bec said to me, “Dad, you should come outside to eat breakfast.”  I am not one for making excuses, but the “I’d rather eat inside,” “It’s too sunny out,” “Maybe next week” all came to mind.  “Well, I will be outside if you want to join me,” she said.  Then Debbie came in (Gab was out on a social distance walk with a friend) and said, “I’ll grab something to eat and join you.”  I felt about two inches tall.  “OK, I will join you.”  I grabbed my breakfast and my tea and joined them.  Once I got comfortable and began to relax, it really felt good to be outdoors, feel the warmth of the sun and the coolness from the slight breeze.  I forgot how nice it is to change up one’s routine.

Safety and comfort are important, but do we become complacent in the things that we accept, the thoughts we perceive and the habits we form?  We all talk about how we miss going where we want, when we want and with who we want.  For most of us, our homes are not our prisons, just the place where we hang our hats, feel safe and share with loved ones.  Can we be responsible and maintain social distancing so that we can step outside more frequently?  Or, will we fall into what we are seeing on the news related to people crowding newly opened beaches?  While we still have a long road to travel, doing so safely would make sense, if we all adhere to considering the safety of others and following the guidelines.  Next week is a holiday weekend, so that means an extra day to enjoy nice weather, be responsible and break some of the fears from quarantine that we have developed.

A Time of Opportunity

Thomas Edison once said, “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”  We are currently living in a time where most of us are home-bound due to Covid-19.  Thankfully, many of us are employed due to the wonders of modern technology.  There has been an uptick in the usage of Netflix, Hulu has offered free services and I have gotten notifications that some of the online games have added more functionality so that we have additional items to entertain us while we are home.  While I can easily agree that we need distractions (we always need these), the distractions should not become the norm and we need to remember that life around us does not stand still.

It is easy to attract people to things that require minimal effort.  Because of this, it can be easy to get lulled into this type of comfort zone.  Just because we are self-quarantined, anxious about direct human contact, or are really becoming homebodies, does not mean that we have to give up all opportunities.  We are bound within these four walls for today, but one day (or some time in the near future), we will be allowed to roam freely again.  Many people are saying that we will have to wait and see what we are allowed to do and when we will be able to do it.  With that mindset, the day we wake up and are once again allowed to “pass Go” will be the day that we are already behind.

Back to the quote from my fellow New Jerseyian, there is currently work that can be done.  While those of us who work in the world of projects, it is always good to know when the project is expected to go live.  However, if we lay out the expected tasks, we should have some idea how long tasks should take and when a viable date would be, barring any unexpected hiccups along the way (which most projects have).  Besides, after close to nine weeks being inside, it is healthy to have some goals to strive for, some projects to work on and something in the future to look forward to.  While it is easy to catch up on our shows, see the movies we never made it to and try the games that everyone talks about, now is the time to look for the opportunities.  Yes, it is dressed in overalls and looks like work, but it is better to don the garb and try your hand at the work rather than say, “I could have done that” after someone else beats you to it.