Oh, Sleep, Where Art Thou?

Ever have a stretch of poor sleep?  I do not mean just one night of tossing and turning and the mind forever racing over some salient point, or the times in our lives where we go to bed worrying about something.  I am talking (or, in my case, writing) about a string of night or weeks, where you wake up as tired as when you went to sleep?

This past week, I was in Stamford, Connecticut to train new users on the OneStream application.  The class went well and I was able to help adult professionals on their journey working with a product that will be beneficial to their company and their work lives.  I knew the material, I knew the information that I had to cover, and this was by no means the first time that I was in front of a class (or audience for that matter).  After eight hours of being “on,” where you are training, reacting to facial expressions (clues to understanding the material), answering questions and making the information relevant to each person, I am very tired.  Each night, I went to bed exhausted and passed out.  Great!  Except that when I opened my eyes feeling refreshed, it was only 11:30 ☹.  Each night I was up multiple times, sometimes not able to fall right back to sleep.  

Was I anxious?  Was I nervous?  Was I not used to being away from home?  All of these questions rattled around my brain (which probably made me more anxious the next night).  The truth is, I was not sleeping great prior to Stamford, nor once I got home.  Yes, I am sleeping more comfortably at home but still not the sleep I want.  Or some mornings it is a struggle getting out of bed and I would rather sleep in.  If I do, there is no exercise for that day and then I feel bad that I did not do that healthy activity for my body. 

I remember my mother’s father telling us that one hour of sleep before midnight equals two hours after.  So, I did a little web research.  There were a few articles that mention our best restorative sleep comes in the first third of sleeping; This easily leads to 1 hour before (1/3) midnight equals 2 hours after (2/3).  If I fall asleep at 10:00 and wake up at 11:30, does this mean that I only need four and a half hours of sleep?  There are also plenty of articles stating that we need less sleep the older we get.  

Either way, by the time that I have woken up, exercised, showered and eaten breakfast, I am more than ready for the day ahead.  I am full of energy waiting to take on the various adventures and challenges in front of me.  The good news, if I tire, there is always the opportunity to close my eyes for 15 minutes and take a catnap (or longer on weekends) to refresh myself.  At least I know, that at the end of my full day, there will always be my comfortable, inviting bed waiting for me.

Commuters Can Be Rude

I think that with the more that cell phones can do, people have become ruder.  What do I mean?  We have become so attached to our mobile devices. I believe that some people believe that the entire universe is wrapped up in that small device that they can hold in their hand, where they can look up anything and video call anybody anywhere at any time.  Basically, we see the world through a tiny screen.  When the woman’s soccer team won the World Cup in 2015, the parade of champions route went right by the building I was working in.  Here was the moment glory, here was the moment few people get to experience, here was the masses coming out to cheer you on.  As I watched the parade, there were some of the heroes of the day, busy with their selfie sticks instead of enjoying and living in that precious moment.

When commuting to the city, I will sometimes take the Spanish Bus (Official - The Spanish Transportation Service Corporation) from Paramus, down route 4 to the Port Authority over the George Washington Bridge.  This is a slightly cheaper way to travel, and there is always another jitney passing by within 5 minutes.  Recently, when I took the jitney home, I was the second person on the bus, so I had my choice of seat in the 10 row mini-bus.  I sat down, getting ready to enjoy some time to decompress from the day.  People were talking as they entered the bus and sat down.  After taking their seats, everyone was still talking loudly, seemingly at the same time.  “What the…” came immediately to mind.  The guy behind me was talking away in Spanish on his phone.  The guy two rows up was talking so everyone could hear his conversation and the lady next to me was on a video call, with no head phones so that I could hear both sides of her conversation.  Looking around, there were at least four other people engaged in talking on their phones.  Then the lady next to me finished her call, and started to watch YouTube videos with the volume on high (again, still no headphones in sight) so that she could hear over all of the other phone conversations happening.

Did I miss the announcement?  Did our governor issue a decree?  When did people decide that it is OK to have loud public phone calls, in a small space?  Is it alright for me to participate in the rude lady next to me if I know the answer to a question I hear coming from her phone?  In that moment, I realized that the rudeness factor had taken a jump.  While silently texting my daughter about this bizarre behavior, her words of consolation were “things have changed since you last commuted.”  All this in the past month?!?

As we got closer to my destination, the cacophony of yacking phone calls decreased due to people leaving the bus (while still talking on their cell phones).  The guy behind me was still happily talking away, barely giving the person on the other side a chance to talk.  The one person I passed on my way out of the bus was still engaged in their conversation, oblivious to the world around him.  What should have been a chance to unwind before getting home made me more tense than relaxed.  As I stepped off the bus, I reached for my cell phone…maybe I am no different, but at least my conversation was out of everyone else’s earshot.

Out with the Old, In with the New

“Radio is theater of the mind…”  ~ Steve Allen

After World War 1, a new household item was taking hold – the radio.  Here was a cabinet (had to be large enough for vacuum tube technology) that a family could sit around to find out the news and to be entertained.  There were serial stories, music from ballrooms, sketch comedies…the key was you had to listen and use your imagination to fill in the blanks.  By the time World War II broke out, a majority of households had radios and radios were also available in cars.  By the mid-50’s, transistor technology came into play and the portable radio came into existence.  However, time and technology does not stand still and the Television started to become popular.  My parents told the stories how everything seemed to stop when Milton Berle’s weekly television show came on the air.  Radio stars were starting to make the jump to television (like Jack Benny, Ozzy and Harriett) as well as radio shows (like the Lone Ranger, Dragnet).

Technology changed (“Who Moved My Cheese?”) and people went from radio to television.  The full quote by Steve Allen is, “Radio is the theater of the mind; television is the theater of the mindless.”  The creative aspect of radio was now replaced by the visual aspect of the newer medium.  Fortunately, radio became the source of music, news and talk radio and continues to exist.  This is a great example of accepting change, changing the focus and finding a way to still be relevant.  I remember, a number of years ago, my brother-in-law walking around with a portable radio just so that he could listen to sporting events.  That was before the boom of internet and the existence of smartphones.

So why write about the radio?  As I get older, I have had the opportunity to see enough technology changes to where new “things” have overtaken those items we grew up with.  Home-hard wired phones, the typewriter, rabbit-ears, mimeographs (loved the smell), a Polaroid, 45’s, Spirograph, etc.  have all marched off into the sunset.  Or, to be more exact, have been replaced by mobile phones, computers, satellite / cable, copiers, digital cameras, streaming music / YouTube, the iPad, etc.  In the world of on-demand, I can always listen to my favorite radio shows (streaming, podcasts, etc.) and my favorite television shows (computer, Netflix, etc.).  As a group of my friends were sitting around talking recently, we realized that radio still matters to many of us.  It still exists and we will always need to have audio transmissions send us things we can hear.  Like many other advancements, we may not recognize initially where they came from, nor will our progeny know the terms, what we know today might still exist tomorrow.  In the question of “Does radio still matter?” – Radio might not be the way it once was, nor how we remembered it, but it will transform into the way it will become.  We might be in with the new, but if we lift up the cover, we might find the old is still there.

Sacred Time

I recently finished reading Rabbi Abraham Heschel’s book, “The Shabbath.”  One of the concepts that he discussed in the book was Sacred Time.  In this concept, he explained that most religious items are easiest to define in terms of a sacred place where one may go to worship, or a sacred item in which humans project a sacredness to the item during prayer.  In Sacred Time, the holiness is the connection time has to a truly eternal concept.  In Genesis, chapter 2, verse 3, the translation is “And G-d blessed the seventh day and He hallowed it, for thereon He abstained from all His work that G-d created to do.”  From religious perspective, this seventh day is given as a holy day and a day of rest.  Sacred Time is taking that one day a week to stop all work and focus on the time we have.

Borrowing from this thought, and extending it beyond a purely religious precept, the idea of having a Sacred Time makes sense, in that it is important to have some span of time without work, without worrying, without technology blasting in our face, and without the rigors of daily life.  Basically – WE NEED DOWN TIME!  This is time where we can turn off our phones and computers, a time where we can sit down (without a television playing in the background) and a time to reflect. 

• We are taught that at a certain age that we can no longer nap; I like to nap on the weekends. 
• We follow the trend that if we work all week, we should shop and do errands on the weekend
• We somehow learn that going to bed early on the weekdays = staying up as late as we can on the weekends
• We learn to use every hour in our day to do “things.”

If we stop that mad carousel that we live on, we can take the time to enjoy the deep breathe, stop and smell the roses and engage in whatever metaphor you want to use.  While the Old Testament carves out a full day of Sacred Time, how many of us carve out any time during the week as a sacred period?  This could be a time to meditate, a time to reflect on ourselves (an activity some people are afraid of), a time set aside to be grateful for the “things” we are blessed with, and a time just do nothing (or nap).  Having this time set aside can be useful to put certain aspects of life in perspective, provide time to put aside conflicts to possibly give a clear picture, spend time being with someone you care about to spend time in each other’s company.  And most importantly, time away from the trappings of the advancements and technology which we use the rest of our time.  While a full day of Sacred Time would be optimal, we can at least start with some slices of our day.

Venturing Beyond our Comfort Zones

“The biggest rewards in life are found outside your comfort zone. Live with it. Fear and risk are prerequisites if you want to enjoy a life of success and adventure.” ~ Jack Canfield

Last week I spent four full days in class.  This time was neither spent behind a desk, hiding behind the safety of a computer, nor quietly listening and hoping no one called on me.  This was not four days of down time, to have a nice dinner, or to go out for a few beers to bide my quiet evenings alone until the next session began.  This was 8+ hours standing at the front of the class, teaching the class through slides, explanations, demos and exercises.  My night times were spent with a quick dinner, catching up on emails, making phone calls and prepping for the next day’s class.  I was out front, talking, teaching and being “on” the entire four days.  As someone who leans slightly towards the introvert side, this was a tiring week, where I stepped out of my comfort to help others on their journey.

The truth is, I am comfortable giving presentations – they are of a fixed length and the longest one I had given to date was a one-hour seminar.  Did I know I was stepping outside that comfortable circle I had drawn around myself?  Yes.  Was I scared / nervous?  Yes.  Doing something you have not done before always brings about a feeling of displacement and triggers that little voice in our heads where doubt is created and the constant reminder that you have never done this before. 

Having dealt with the world of change over the last 20+ years, I am able to spot some of the language people use to protect those imaginary borders they have erected around themselves.  It can appear as a reminiscence (“I remember…”, “The we use to…”), as an alternate solution (“I would have…”), or even as a warning (“This did not work last time…”).  These are people who are comfortable where they are, are afraid to leave the place where they are comfortable or simply fear what they do not know or understand.  If I am being completely honest, these types of thoughts do appear at the edge of my own personal comfort zone.

In my house, Debbie spent many years as a nursery school teacher.  I watched her prepare for her classes.  Gab is currently a music teacher and I see the amount of time that she spends each weekend in preparation for her week ahead.  As with any new venture, it is important to address your fears / concerns head on and spend the time learning what you need, preparing ahead and remembering why you are doing it.  If you have seen specials on stunt drivers, you see the amount of time and effort spent before doing the most dangerous stunt to ensure that it is pulled of successfully and safely.  By the end of the week, I was tired as it was a lot of effort to prepare and even more to do the teaching.  However, once the course was completed, I reinforced my personal reasons for doing this.  I had connected with the students to help them on their journeys and was grateful to see the bulbs light up over their heads as they had their own “a-ha” moments.  By expanding my comfort zone, I felt good about myself and what I was able to do for others.

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” ~ Les Brown

The Importance of Ongoing Education and Training

For a number of years, I neither went to a work-related training class nor a seminar.  I am one of those people who has no problem asking a few questions, rolling up my sleeves, and going off to figure out what needs to be done, how to accomplish what I set out to do and hacking my way through.  Did I get the results I expected?  Most of the time that would be a yes.  Unfortunately, we have a tendency to think that once we are able to proceed in this manner, this is the best way to go – NOT!

Over the last couple of years, I finally broke down and went to a few conferences, went to a seminar and attended some classes.  There is the old adage – “You know what you know; You know what you do not know; But, you do not know what you do not know.”  After attending a few of these courses, I found out that there was more in the third category than I expected.  By attending a conference, I learned how much technology had advanced with that specific software and what had become available over the past few years.  By attending a training course, regardless of the fact that I already used the software, I learned what the software actually does and why.  We all like to throw around the term “best practices.”  In reality, there is always more than one way to accomplish a goal.  However, there is the most direct, accurate, best way rather than a longer, more eloquent approach to meet the same ends.  In the former case, the resources and results are optimized, while in the latter, resources might be put under more pressure and the results less accurate.  We sometimes forget that continued learning is important.

As my younger daughter heads towards graduating in May, I see her excitement at having “no more school.”  Yes, the formal portion of her education might be over, but I have not quite broken it to her yet that there will always be more to learn, more to be educated on and ALWAYS room for improvement.  As I head to becoming certified as a trainer, I realize that training is an opportunity to introduce others to concepts, provide a starting point for moving forward and a chance to share ideas.  It is providing the tools and insights so that the people in attendance can take those thoughts, have a beginner’s ability to start using what they learned, and almost as important, have the ability to ask better questions.  Sometimes, a little bit of knowledge can lead to a desire to improve what is front of us and only through our questions can we fully learn more (or get to good answers).  I look forward to help those starting their journeys and take this opportunity to learn from their experiences as well.

Do We Get Older, Or Do Just Our Kids?

Every year, we enjoy the Super Bowl with the same group of people.  Yes, sometimes we might stop over other people homes, but for the most part, we have been with the same group for many years.  This year I was joking with the hostess how no one had beers in their hands and there was no one doing shots.  We must be getting old, I said as I laughed.  “I am sure the guys would do a shot with you,” she responded smiling.  I realized that I really did not want a shot and was quite happy the way I was.

Everyone looks the same as I remember them to look over the years.  OK, there were knee, hip, back issues, etc., that needed to be addressed by some in attendance.  Still, they looked and acted the same.  Talk of grandchildren was in the conversation this year, talk of marriages, talk of…Wait a minute, are we really getting older?  Two days before the Super Bowl, I joked with Gab on her birthday that she is one-year shy of the quarter century mark.  “Dad!  Why would you age me, 24 sounds much younger!”  she responded.

Maybe we are getting older, beginning to show some of the telltale signs of the aging process.  Debbie and I are amongst the younger end of our group of friends; But I can see the birthday ending in a zero only a few years away.  We do not look like I remember my grandparents looking at this age.  My eye doctor would surely let me know that my eyesight is not what it was when I was Gab and Bec’s age.  One thing is true, I believe that we try to be more active than previous generations.  We exercise more, we tend to eat healthier, we tend to plan longer into the future.  I did prepare my daughter by letting her know that when she is 100 years old, I plan to be there…”Oh my G-d, Dad,” she bursted out.

Michael Douglas just got the nod for adding a new Yiddish phrase into the English language when he recently yelled out at the Golden Globes, “Alte kakas rule!”  I guess that becoming an “old fart” can be done with a bit of grace and respect.  At the end of the Super Bowl, the hostess commented that they had bought less food and that even more food was left over than last year.  With the “Oys,” the grunts and creaks of everyone standing up, most people lined up to take a doggie bag for lunches the next day.  I passed the hostess and made the comment, “Don’t tell me they are all taking the softer foods,” to which she laughed while wrapping up an easy to chew “nosh” for the next day for one of our friends.