Commuters Can Be Rude

I think that with the more that cell phones can do, people have become ruder.  What do I mean?  We have become so attached to our mobile devices. I believe that some people believe that the entire universe is wrapped up in that small device that they can hold in their hand, where they can look up anything and video call anybody anywhere at any time.  Basically, we see the world through a tiny screen.  When the woman’s soccer team won the World Cup in 2015, the parade of champions route went right by the building I was working in.  Here was the moment glory, here was the moment few people get to experience, here was the masses coming out to cheer you on.  As I watched the parade, there were some of the heroes of the day, busy with their selfie sticks instead of enjoying and living in that precious moment.

When commuting to the city, I will sometimes take the Spanish Bus (Official - The Spanish Transportation Service Corporation) from Paramus, down route 4 to the Port Authority over the George Washington Bridge.  This is a slightly cheaper way to travel, and there is always another jitney passing by within 5 minutes.  Recently, when I took the jitney home, I was the second person on the bus, so I had my choice of seat in the 10 row mini-bus.  I sat down, getting ready to enjoy some time to decompress from the day.  People were talking as they entered the bus and sat down.  After taking their seats, everyone was still talking loudly, seemingly at the same time.  “What the…” came immediately to mind.  The guy behind me was talking away in Spanish on his phone.  The guy two rows up was talking so everyone could hear his conversation and the lady next to me was on a video call, with no head phones so that I could hear both sides of her conversation.  Looking around, there were at least four other people engaged in talking on their phones.  Then the lady next to me finished her call, and started to watch YouTube videos with the volume on high (again, still no headphones in sight) so that she could hear over all of the other phone conversations happening.

Did I miss the announcement?  Did our governor issue a decree?  When did people decide that it is OK to have loud public phone calls, in a small space?  Is it alright for me to participate in the rude lady next to me if I know the answer to a question I hear coming from her phone?  In that moment, I realized that the rudeness factor had taken a jump.  While silently texting my daughter about this bizarre behavior, her words of consolation were “things have changed since you last commuted.”  All this in the past month?!?

As we got closer to my destination, the cacophony of yacking phone calls decreased due to people leaving the bus (while still talking on their cell phones).  The guy behind me was still happily talking away, barely giving the person on the other side a chance to talk.  The one person I passed on my way out of the bus was still engaged in their conversation, oblivious to the world around him.  What should have been a chance to unwind before getting home made me more tense than relaxed.  As I stepped off the bus, I reached for my cell phone…maybe I am no different, but at least my conversation was out of everyone else’s earshot.

Kindness Counts

I recently came across an article posted on Inc. Magazines website.  The title was related to one of the sign of being a leader, but also included the phrase “…but may cause a Gag Reflex for most…”  I admit, it was this part of the title that caught my attention.  I read the well thought out article, and the attribute that writer Marcel Schwantes was referring to is Kindness.  The article provides the points to support the attribute and the related benefits. 

Years ago, I was listening to a speaker at an event I was attending and the speaker started to talk about handling people that are negative or become belligerent towards you.  The approached boiled down to “kill them with kindness.”  Recently, in a Darren Hardy daily video, he spent that day’s message on the importance of kindness and how it factors in on building his own teams.  For years, my wife has been saying, “…if only we could be kind to each other…” 

Keep in mind, I am not talking about kindness where it is a weakness.  That would be a situation where in Yiddish it is referred to being a schmatta (rag), and in English where the term is calling someone a doormat.  These are people that so nice, they let other people walk all over them.  Being kind does not preclude the fact that one needs to be tough at times, or stand their ground, or prove a point.  Kindness is a trait that in conjunction with other positive traits can have a big impact, leverage the Law of Attraction and provide beneficial interactions.  Think of it this way, if you went up to a customer service counter and the curmudgeon behind the counter barked, “Whad dah yah want?” and then proceeds to make everything difficult, there is a good chance that you will no longer do business with this company due to the curt reception at the counter.  However, if when it was your turn, you stepped up to the counter and someone with a big smile greets you with, “Good afternoon, how may I be of service to you?” and then proceeds to make helping you a positive experience, their kindness would ensure you would return in the future.

We all get our feathers ruffled at times, but a measure of kindness can go a long way.  Kindness to fellow employees, kindness to volunteer workers, kindness to family, kindness to strangers.  Sometimes, that little bit of kindness has its way of making it back to you in future.

 

The article that started me thinking: https://www.inc.com/marcel-schwantes/this-rarely-seen-leadership-practice-is-now-linked-to-happier-workplaces-motivated-employees-says-research.html