Staying Healthy

The COVID 19 has become part of our vocabulary same as the Freshman 15.  Early on, when it did not seem that we would be quarantining for months on end, we all indulged in sweets, “nosh” and a couple of extra drinks.  After a few months, reality hit that we might not be “returning to normal” all that quickly.  There were shortages of some foods, gym closings and recreational activities severely restricted; The meant that we lost some of the outlets needed to burn off our indulgences.  Streaming services helped to provide entertainment while we sat at home – whoever thought we would reach the day that “trending” reports would include the most popular streaming shows?  While I am still way below that number 19, it was hard not to be caught up in this in some way, shape or form.

For me, lock down meant no commuting to New York City (which included walking), no flying for work or being in front of other people which included no more band practices.  Seems like some new-fangled math: Almost no reading (mental health) + increased Zoom drinking (hello beer belly) + limiting exercises (physical health) = COVID weight gain.  After about three months, it began to dawn on me that things were not moving in the right directions.  Books with titles like “The Slight Edge” and the “Compound Effect” started coming to mind.  The fact that I had taken on slightly less positive habits, the small increment did not seem noticeable, but in a short time, I began to see and feel the difference. 

OK, so I was never one to be confused with a Charles Atlas inspired body nor one who was a participant in sports activities.  However, back in 2016, I wrote a series of blogs where I challenged myself to improve my body, including taking some exposing pictures of myself to lay bare where I started and where I ended up.  Over the year I lost 14 pounds and trimmed my belly back to a thinner waist.  To achieve that goal, I had to be diligent on what I ate, how I exercised, etc.  I did not follow any gimmicks, just changed the way I was living with positive benefits.  Like the old slapstick routine where the comedian does not see the banana peel in front of him, I slipped.  Once my “tuchus” hit the ground, it was time to stand up, re-evaluate what I did (blame is my own), and readjust my life.  This meant better eating habits (aka, drink less beer), exercise in the form of stretching, simple yoga and other (good for the body), adding in meditation (mental health / mindfulness), and reading (mental health / personal development).

Though I doubt I will get down to the weight I was at the end of 2016, while quarantined at home, I do feel better now that I am focused on being healthier as opposed to waiting the pandemic out.  While it is still fun to indulge, moderation and mindfulness of actions still have to be forefront and centered.  What have you done to maintain a healthy perspective and body these few months?

Old Men Rocking

For Debbie and me, this has been a bonanza year for seeing musicians we always wanted to see and bands we never saw before.  OK – it was more like watching a series of senior citizen acts.  But I have to tell you, for people ranging in age from late 60’s into their 80’s, these people still have it.

This last week, I saw two concerts (one without Debbie) that were from the same era and influential in their own ways.  The first one, which I saw with my old friend Marty (yes, knowing people 40 years makes them old friends), was Herb Alert.  While he no longer tours with the Tijuana Brass, he has a great combo of jazz musicians and tours with his wife (who sang with Sergio Mendez and Brazil 66).  At 84, he still walks confidently onto the stage and still plays well.  He did a medley or two covering the hits from the Tijuana Brass and ventured off onto the songs he wanted to play and improvise on.  As a multi-Grammy winner (including one in 2013 for best instrumental album), he was filling stadiums in the 1960’s, had hit records against the era of The Beatles and had an even bigger impact by being the “A” in highly successful record label, A&M.

The second concert, which I saw with Debbie, was one of her all-time favorite bands – The Rolling Stones.  It is not unusual for musicians, as they age, to slow down their music, be more efficient in their approach and potentially relax more on stage.  Later in his career, B.B. King sat while he played.  I saw Jerry Lee Lewis play years ago when he was in his 50’s and Great Balls of Fire was played as a ballad.  At 76 and having undergone heart surgery earlier this year, Mick Jagger still runs, struts and has “the moves like Jagger.”  The rest of the band still cranks out the Rock and Roll and keeps a pace rivaling back to their younger years.  Their approach to music, performing and being labeled “The World’s Greatest Rock and Roll Band,” has set the standard for what defines a Rock musician.  And as 55+ year veterans, it is now what one can still do and what one can enjoy, no matter how old you get.

Aside from great music played by legendary musicians, what was my take away from the past week?  Herb Alpert commented that in most cases, people do not remember the songs played, but the feeling that they get after going to a concert.  In both cases:

·         They have been popular acts for as long as I have been on this planet. 

·         As senior citizens, they both still pursue their passions

·         They are all living life to the fullest, even into the 80’s, and can still be relevant

·         In the Stones case, adversity and illness has not stopped them from doing what they enjoy

It is easiest to reach a point in one’s life and “retire” from our passions, our dreams and our desires.  The “senior” musicians I saw showed the impact of overcoming roadblocks, working towards a healthy lifestyle and striving to be at your peak at whatever point you are at in your life.  They make no excuses for going out and living each and every day to their fullest.

Snowbird Wayne?

Last weekend I went on a quick visit to my dad and brother in Florida.  Between the cold winter we had this year and the guaranteed warmer weather without snow in Florida, it does make me wonder about becoming a snowbird.  I know that I am in the age group where we begin to think about this, as the winters are seemingly colder than in prior years.  We have friends that are also starting to think along the same lines.  In the little time visiting, I had two completely different experiences.

My father lives in a planned adult community (which at 56, I can buy a unit on my own).  The community is set around an executive golf course, has all types of clubs and a theater on the grounds for movies and live entertainment.  As with many similar developments, there is one club house with a main pool and each sub-development has its own pool.  We have been visiting here for many years – it is a well-kept community in an up and coming town.  A few years ago, they put in a “promenade” where you can wander around outside, shop and eat at good restaurants and a few higher end bars.  It is an idyllic environment.  This visit, I did not have a car, so in the morning after exercising, I was all set to walk to breakfast.  Dunkin Donuts was a 10-minute walk, a pizza place 20, and all else not a short walking distance. 

My brother is staying in a more urban environment.  It is more like apartment living, with each building offering its own amenities, full-service concierges and front door “people”.  The local supermarket is two blocks away, plenty of places to eat and an outdoor concert stage 10 blocks away.  Without having a car, it was easy enough to walk out the back, stroll along the water, pick up a few things and walk back to the apartment.  While I like the grounds where my dad lives, the ease of living without a car on a daily basis does have its appeal.  While physically able, this would be great, and similar to when I travel for work where I like to be where everything I could need is within a short walk.

And then, as quick as the flight down to Florida was, the trip was over and I am flying back home.  Today I could be wearing shorts if I want to and the freezing cold weather is a distant memory.  My girls are sitting in the next room, our friends are in the area and all of our daily living is in New Jersey.  I do not have to choose between the two differing experiences yet, and am still happy where we are.  Truth is, one day we will hopefully have grandchildren and will want to be close by…so the dreams for the future can remain dreams for now and I happily defer that choice for now.

Commuters Can Be Rude

I think that with the more that cell phones can do, people have become ruder.  What do I mean?  We have become so attached to our mobile devices. I believe that some people believe that the entire universe is wrapped up in that small device that they can hold in their hand, where they can look up anything and video call anybody anywhere at any time.  Basically, we see the world through a tiny screen.  When the woman’s soccer team won the World Cup in 2015, the parade of champions route went right by the building I was working in.  Here was the moment glory, here was the moment few people get to experience, here was the masses coming out to cheer you on.  As I watched the parade, there were some of the heroes of the day, busy with their selfie sticks instead of enjoying and living in that precious moment.

When commuting to the city, I will sometimes take the Spanish Bus (Official - The Spanish Transportation Service Corporation) from Paramus, down route 4 to the Port Authority over the George Washington Bridge.  This is a slightly cheaper way to travel, and there is always another jitney passing by within 5 minutes.  Recently, when I took the jitney home, I was the second person on the bus, so I had my choice of seat in the 10 row mini-bus.  I sat down, getting ready to enjoy some time to decompress from the day.  People were talking as they entered the bus and sat down.  After taking their seats, everyone was still talking loudly, seemingly at the same time.  “What the…” came immediately to mind.  The guy behind me was talking away in Spanish on his phone.  The guy two rows up was talking so everyone could hear his conversation and the lady next to me was on a video call, with no head phones so that I could hear both sides of her conversation.  Looking around, there were at least four other people engaged in talking on their phones.  Then the lady next to me finished her call, and started to watch YouTube videos with the volume on high (again, still no headphones in sight) so that she could hear over all of the other phone conversations happening.

Did I miss the announcement?  Did our governor issue a decree?  When did people decide that it is OK to have loud public phone calls, in a small space?  Is it alright for me to participate in the rude lady next to me if I know the answer to a question I hear coming from her phone?  In that moment, I realized that the rudeness factor had taken a jump.  While silently texting my daughter about this bizarre behavior, her words of consolation were “things have changed since you last commuted.”  All this in the past month?!?

As we got closer to my destination, the cacophony of yacking phone calls decreased due to people leaving the bus (while still talking on their cell phones).  The guy behind me was still happily talking away, barely giving the person on the other side a chance to talk.  The one person I passed on my way out of the bus was still engaged in their conversation, oblivious to the world around him.  What should have been a chance to unwind before getting home made me more tense than relaxed.  As I stepped off the bus, I reached for my cell phone…maybe I am no different, but at least my conversation was out of everyone else’s earshot.

Out with the Old, In with the New

“Radio is theater of the mind…”  ~ Steve Allen

After World War 1, a new household item was taking hold – the radio.  Here was a cabinet (had to be large enough for vacuum tube technology) that a family could sit around to find out the news and to be entertained.  There were serial stories, music from ballrooms, sketch comedies…the key was you had to listen and use your imagination to fill in the blanks.  By the time World War II broke out, a majority of households had radios and radios were also available in cars.  By the mid-50’s, transistor technology came into play and the portable radio came into existence.  However, time and technology does not stand still and the Television started to become popular.  My parents told the stories how everything seemed to stop when Milton Berle’s weekly television show came on the air.  Radio stars were starting to make the jump to television (like Jack Benny, Ozzy and Harriett) as well as radio shows (like the Lone Ranger, Dragnet).

Technology changed (“Who Moved My Cheese?”) and people went from radio to television.  The full quote by Steve Allen is, “Radio is the theater of the mind; television is the theater of the mindless.”  The creative aspect of radio was now replaced by the visual aspect of the newer medium.  Fortunately, radio became the source of music, news and talk radio and continues to exist.  This is a great example of accepting change, changing the focus and finding a way to still be relevant.  I remember, a number of years ago, my brother-in-law walking around with a portable radio just so that he could listen to sporting events.  That was before the boom of internet and the existence of smartphones.

So why write about the radio?  As I get older, I have had the opportunity to see enough technology changes to where new “things” have overtaken those items we grew up with.  Home-hard wired phones, the typewriter, rabbit-ears, mimeographs (loved the smell), a Polaroid, 45’s, Spirograph, etc.  have all marched off into the sunset.  Or, to be more exact, have been replaced by mobile phones, computers, satellite / cable, copiers, digital cameras, streaming music / YouTube, the iPad, etc.  In the world of on-demand, I can always listen to my favorite radio shows (streaming, podcasts, etc.) and my favorite television shows (computer, Netflix, etc.).  As a group of my friends were sitting around talking recently, we realized that radio still matters to many of us.  It still exists and we will always need to have audio transmissions send us things we can hear.  Like many other advancements, we may not recognize initially where they came from, nor will our progeny know the terms, what we know today might still exist tomorrow.  In the question of “Does radio still matter?” – Radio might not be the way it once was, nor how we remembered it, but it will transform into the way it will become.  We might be in with the new, but if we lift up the cover, we might find the old is still there.

Sacred Time

I recently finished reading Rabbi Abraham Heschel’s book, “The Shabbath.”  One of the concepts that he discussed in the book was Sacred Time.  In this concept, he explained that most religious items are easiest to define in terms of a sacred place where one may go to worship, or a sacred item in which humans project a sacredness to the item during prayer.  In Sacred Time, the holiness is the connection time has to a truly eternal concept.  In Genesis, chapter 2, verse 3, the translation is “And G-d blessed the seventh day and He hallowed it, for thereon He abstained from all His work that G-d created to do.”  From religious perspective, this seventh day is given as a holy day and a day of rest.  Sacred Time is taking that one day a week to stop all work and focus on the time we have.

Borrowing from this thought, and extending it beyond a purely religious precept, the idea of having a Sacred Time makes sense, in that it is important to have some span of time without work, without worrying, without technology blasting in our face, and without the rigors of daily life.  Basically – WE NEED DOWN TIME!  This is time where we can turn off our phones and computers, a time where we can sit down (without a television playing in the background) and a time to reflect. 

• We are taught that at a certain age that we can no longer nap; I like to nap on the weekends. 
• We follow the trend that if we work all week, we should shop and do errands on the weekend
• We somehow learn that going to bed early on the weekdays = staying up as late as we can on the weekends
• We learn to use every hour in our day to do “things.”

If we stop that mad carousel that we live on, we can take the time to enjoy the deep breathe, stop and smell the roses and engage in whatever metaphor you want to use.  While the Old Testament carves out a full day of Sacred Time, how many of us carve out any time during the week as a sacred period?  This could be a time to meditate, a time to reflect on ourselves (an activity some people are afraid of), a time set aside to be grateful for the “things” we are blessed with, and a time just do nothing (or nap).  Having this time set aside can be useful to put certain aspects of life in perspective, provide time to put aside conflicts to possibly give a clear picture, spend time being with someone you care about to spend time in each other’s company.  And most importantly, time away from the trappings of the advancements and technology which we use the rest of our time.  While a full day of Sacred Time would be optimal, we can at least start with some slices of our day.

Do We Get Older, Or Do Just Our Kids?

Every year, we enjoy the Super Bowl with the same group of people.  Yes, sometimes we might stop over other people homes, but for the most part, we have been with the same group for many years.  This year I was joking with the hostess how no one had beers in their hands and there was no one doing shots.  We must be getting old, I said as I laughed.  “I am sure the guys would do a shot with you,” she responded smiling.  I realized that I really did not want a shot and was quite happy the way I was.

Everyone looks the same as I remember them to look over the years.  OK, there were knee, hip, back issues, etc., that needed to be addressed by some in attendance.  Still, they looked and acted the same.  Talk of grandchildren was in the conversation this year, talk of marriages, talk of…Wait a minute, are we really getting older?  Two days before the Super Bowl, I joked with Gab on her birthday that she is one-year shy of the quarter century mark.  “Dad!  Why would you age me, 24 sounds much younger!”  she responded.

Maybe we are getting older, beginning to show some of the telltale signs of the aging process.  Debbie and I are amongst the younger end of our group of friends; But I can see the birthday ending in a zero only a few years away.  We do not look like I remember my grandparents looking at this age.  My eye doctor would surely let me know that my eyesight is not what it was when I was Gab and Bec’s age.  One thing is true, I believe that we try to be more active than previous generations.  We exercise more, we tend to eat healthier, we tend to plan longer into the future.  I did prepare my daughter by letting her know that when she is 100 years old, I plan to be there…”Oh my G-d, Dad,” she bursted out.

Michael Douglas just got the nod for adding a new Yiddish phrase into the English language when he recently yelled out at the Golden Globes, “Alte kakas rule!”  I guess that becoming an “old fart” can be done with a bit of grace and respect.  At the end of the Super Bowl, the hostess commented that they had bought less food and that even more food was left over than last year.  With the “Oys,” the grunts and creaks of everyone standing up, most people lined up to take a doggie bag for lunches the next day.  I passed the hostess and made the comment, “Don’t tell me they are all taking the softer foods,” to which she laughed while wrapping up an easy to chew “nosh” for the next day for one of our friends.

Just the Facts

When I was growing up, I remember watching reruns of the TV show Dragnet starring Jack Webb as the straight-laced Police Officer Joe Friday.  Each episode the dour faced officer would solve crimes while collecting the facts.  In an era of fake news, I think that sometimes we forget the power of presenting the facts and having the truth presented to sway people, thought and outcomes.  I remember on my first consulting gig, nearly 23 years ago, the project manager turned to me before a presentation to the client management team and said, “You will give the presentation.”  I immediately froze, I had never given a public speech before and certainly never presented to anyone in management (high level decision makers).  The client was a large, global company, where our involvement was related to the US music manufacturing and distribution business.  The advice that he gave was, “Just tell the story by presenting the facts of what we are doing.”

My grandfather was known as Straight-as-an-Arrow on the golf course.  But that would also represent his attitude, as he also was a HUGE believer in always telling the truth.  Anyone that is in a successful marriage understands the value of honesty and how that helps to retain the trust between both parties.  This is a valid item in any relationship.  To be fully honest, I may have told a few lies in my life, which in every case gets found out and the only way to maintain a lie is to continue to lie.  Also, Debbie has learned that if I even think that I might pull a fast one (more like bending the truth), she can see it written all over my face.

Years ago, I was interviewing for a consulting job where I would be handling the project management and be a team member.  During the questioning, I answered one of the questions with, “I do not know that area of the software, but would be willing to spend my own time learning it for you.”  After the interview was over, the director giving the interview told the person placing me that he was choosing me for the job.  Was it my knowledge of the system?  Was it my charming good looks?  No – he was impressed with my honesty.  Even in my accounting days, if I did not know the answer, I would not make up something close, it was always, I do not know, let me check…which is an answer I still use if I am unsure. 

Same was true when presenting at Toastmaster meetings.  Same is true when presenting an issue to my Board of Trustees.  Same is true working in teams.  Same is true when teaching a class.  As a Project Manager, as a Consultant, as a Teacher, as a Presenter, our authority on the subject / topic is only as good as the faith and trust placed on us in by our audience, team, or peers.  Being honest is an important value for anyone in a leadership position, or for anyone striving to get to a leadership position.  So, as a newbie consultant, that day 23 years ago, I gave my first ever presentation to upper management.  I followed the advice and told the truth (good points and a few not so good points).  By sticking to the truth, I knew the material very well and was able to answer the follow up questions.  That one day, that one lesson has continued to serve me well.

Working from a Home Office

I have worked from home before.  I have had a business that was based in my house, though I was mostly on assignment at clients.  With my new company based in Connecticut, I am now back to working from my home office.  One of the obvious benefits is that after 16 years commuting to NY for ITG, I gain back 3 to 4 hours of my day.  That is a significant amount of time: 15 – 20 hours a week, 60 – 80 hours a month, etc.  Of course, the other immediate benefit is if there is an emergency, I am already at home.  Cool!  But it is not all that easy, as I must be more diligent on how I spend my time and minimize the distractions.

Many years ago, my brother went from commuting to the city to having his department directed to work from home as a corporate space saver.  I remember him worrying about how to segregate work time from home time when this first happened.  He told the story of one of his associates leaving in the morning, dressed in business clothes, only to head to the nearest Starbucks.  From there, he would have his coffee and read his morning paper as if he were riding the train.  When he was done, he would drive “to the office” and begin his day.  I am not looking to do that!

I do believe that I need to ensure that I have the proper morning routine in place to help.  The habit that I am putting into place will be an extension of the habits that I have followed for a few years.  The planned schedule is:

·         Wake up (around 5:30),

·         Exercise for 30 – 40 minutes,

·         Shower,

·         Make myself a healthy breakfast (usually eggs),

·         Spend time writing (either for blog or other),

·         Read for 20 – 30 minutes (Personal development, classic book or just for fun),

·         Meditate (chance to reflect on prior day and current…OK, sometimes I doze off),

·         Start work. 

While that looks like a busy morning – it is!  However, this makes the morning time a productive portion of my day before the day starts.  Leadership expert, Robin Sharma, often talks and writes about the benefits of starting one’s day at 5:00 for productivity reasons, which I have followed for years.  The good thing about this schedule is that when I need to be on the road, there is no reason why I cannot maintain this routine.  The routine is important, not because I am anal in following the same thing over and over, but because it provides a productive structure to the start of my day.  Otherwise, time for exercise, etc. will not be available and I will not do these personal productivity activities.

Once work starts (generally 9:00), I go to my office to focus on what I need to accomplish.  Like working in a physical office, I still have the list of items to accomplish.  Lunchtime is set for the same time every day (structure is good).  Yes, there are more distractions.  Yes, I can do an errand if needed instead of trying to squeeze them in on the weekend.  Yes, I can attend to issues at the JCCP where I am president of the organization.  Even so, they have to fit into the schedule of my day.  In the office or out, we do need breaks from work to regroup, reflect and refocus.

Any other suggestions would, of course, be helpful.  Written down, this looks simple, but it will not always be easy.

Life Balance

Home Life / Family, Friends, Works, Religion, Volunteering, Hobbies, Down Time.  How well do we balance / juggle all of these activities?  And when do we have time to explore new interests?  I used to work for a company that during their year-end personnel review process, we were required to include (in our part) the Life / Work Balance, as it was important for that company that their employees valued life outside of their work life.  I have not seen that in the ensuing companies that I have worked for; yet we all talk about our families and our social activities at work and our families and business at social gatherings. 

When I joined the world of consulting, I was asked by a potential employer about my thoughts on travel.  Yes, I know, right off the bat traveling for work as a young man sounded glamorous.  Then he pointed out being away on weekends, time alone, etc. – the things that are less glamorous.  Gab was not even a year old at this point, but I was at a transition point in my career and looked towards the opportunity ahead.  Travel meant the potential of missing events in my children’s development.  As it ended up, while I did travel, I only had one long term assignment outside the area but was home for the weekends.  I missed a few “concerts” and Halloween parades, but tried to be around when I could.  There are events in our children’s lives that once they have done them, it is over and never to occur again.

Of course, on the flip side, is being able to provide for a family / household.  I have heard the stories about my grandfather, who as a salesman, used to drive over his designated region to meet with existing customers and find potential new customers.  This meant that he was on the road for weeks on end.  Prior to that, he owned a business, where he traveled in the early morning hours from his home in Brooklyn to his store on the Lower East Side, returning home late at night after closing.  My grandfather’s story is not unique.  Many people worked hard long hours to put food on the table and a roof over the heads of their families.  The father worked while the mother tended to house and home, sometimes with the help of a grandmother (for those of us old enough to remember the old fear the bubbie jokes).  Today we live a world of the two-family income, where balance of work / life is more important.

At the end of the day, I am and have been a big believer in parents’ responsibility to teach vital lessons to their children, from morals, to family traditions, to personal values.  In the workforce practice of outsourcing, there are some things, in a home, that cannot be outsourced.  Time with our spouses (or significant others) and our family should be something we plan for, and that we value the times together.  While we have due dates (which we do plan around) at work, what does not get finished today will be sitting at our desk tomorrow.  Watching our children grow, many events happen only once and  we might not get the chances tomorrow for what we can do with them today. 

Are we Willing to Sacrifice / Change for What We Want?

“I made the decision, it was my choice, so it falls on me to follow through.”  This single sentence can apply to any endeavor any of us might undertake.  I do not care if this is a newfangled diet, a new enrollment at the gym, a new skill, or even, a new attitude.  Years ago, I read the “Shannara Chronicles”, written by Terry Brooks; and am now enjoying watching the TV rendition.  In the story, the Druid Allanon, makes the point that “magic comes with a cost.”  So too does change, and in some cases, so does the inability to change.  I cannot hope to snap my fingers and transform myself in some way, shape or form.  Granted, it would be fantastic to wiggle my nose and have that buff, beach ready body (no graphics on this will be provided).  There is a cost obtaining that.

For a period in my life, I was engaged in Network Marketing.  With the right company, this is a great way to engage in becoming an entrepreneur.  The process is simple (but not easy) – you have to (1) be all in on the company and product line, (2) be 100% committed, (3) be will to be fully accountable for your actions and (4) follow without question your mentor.  One of the people I worked with did these things and put his business ahead of personal social events (i.e., he missed family weddings).  The “proof is in the pudding,” within the past year, he attained a higher level in the company, saw the benefits of his hard work and is financially successful.  I did points (1) and (3), but found out that I could not be 100% committed and did not want to listen to my mentors.  I tried, but this was something that I was not willing to make the sacrifice for.

We can take those same four points, with slight modifications, and apply them to any area in our lives.  I make no bones about me picking up the banjo.  I am all in on the product (I bought a banjo), committed to learning (while in Australia, my friend noted that my downtime was watching banjo lessons), fully accountable and listening to my video mentors (set aside time to practice).  Being able to introduce the banjo to the band was a sign of commitment, furthering my experiences and of course, the band members not laughing at me, but coming up with potential songs to utilize the banjo sound.  My sacrifice was using my spare time to practice.  Anything that we deem worthwhile, that we feel we can have an impact on, or believe in strong enough, we can make those personal adjustments to attain.

As we get older, many people downsize and with a move towards a fixed income.  Consequently, this leads toward living a simpler lifestyle.  I have seen this with family and the parents of friends.  Truth is, as I get older, these thoughts are starting to make themselves known in the back of my mind.  There are two realistic options, either sacrifice / plan now for our tomorrows, or, be willing to sacrifice the comforts of our household and lifestyle to survive while we continue to roam the earth.  

Does Success Mean Different Things to Different People?

When I was young, the image of success was a portrait of JP Morgan.  Not sure why, but the fact that he had a vest, a tie pin and a pocket watch with the chain across the front of the vest, seemed to me what looked like success.  I know growing up, some people thought success was being able to own a specific car.  As a young adult, success for me was being able to provide a home, feed my family and the ability to ensure my children’s education. 

I can list a series of people that have had, and continue to have, extremely well in running / owning business and in turn made some serious amounts of money.  The same can be said for certain athletes.  I can probably list a bunch of professions and the same initial comment would hold true.  The only potential difference would be the absolute value of the money.  While we would all like to be an Andrew Carnegie, a Richard Branson or a Michael Jordan, the truth is that they are the exceptions, not the rule.  I believe that the definition of success is unique to each of us, what our personal goals are, how we deal with the situations before each of us and where we ultimately want to end up.  While it would be great to spend a day in the shoes of the aforementioned people, I personally would not know what to do with unlimited money (but would have fun figuring it out), how to live on a palatial estate (seems lonely, but would have same awesome band parties and places for people to crash), or managing a different social life (but would be able to afford personal assistants). 

Looking at my grandfather, his father came to America to provide a better life for his family than they had back in their little village of Skalat, where persecution was not unusual.  Even though my great grandfather only had his family here with him a short time before he died, he was successful at accomplishing his goals and changing the path for his family.  While in Hong Kong, I learned over the years, that many families have maids from the Philippines:  they tend to the household, babysit the children and in most cases, cook for the families they live with.  They are paid an amount, that by US standards we would think as low wages.  However, most of the maids are successful, in that based on the standard of living differences between Hong Kong and the Philippines, they can provide support to their families (which remain in the Philippines) in terms of housing and schooling, then retire to a comfortable lifestyle. 

We are taught to use money as a barometer for success.  That is an absolute measurement about one potential facet of our lives, one that is constantly being hammered home to us through media, like the Housewives of _______ (fill in the blank), any Kardashian show, realtor shows on selling mansions, etc.; having massive amounts of money equals success.  I remember as a kid, the only show that stood out showing wealth was the “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.”  The truth of the matter is that it would be great to have to never worry about money, but to realize that, it takes hard work (i.e., adding value to others), commitment and living a lifestyle that matches what we can afford.  I remember my grandfather telling me that it was important to work hard early in life and reap the benefits as you get older, because if you do it the other way around, you become too old have the strength and fortitude to work hard later in life.  Coming from a small village, being a part of the massive immigration in the early 1900’s, living in a tenement house, and working hard to provide for his family and live the American dream, his words still ring true today.