What Day is Today?

I hate to admit this, but I do not always know what day of the week it is.  I find that there are things about the way I think and perceive things that have changed, most likely from being “confined” at home all of the time.  I am sure, in light of this pandemic, we have the makings for a great case study for years to come.  Between time, social interactions and the “new” dress code, life has become different!

When it comes to time, it seems like I am not the only one who feels that time has been distorted, as the people I deal with all seem to have come to refer to the days of the week as today, yesterday and tomorrow.  Occasionally, I have used the term “the other day” only to be corrected that “the other day” was really a week ago from yesterday.  I used to laugh at my retired father when he referred to everyday is a weekend for him.  Now, I am no longer laughing, as day and date confusion seems to have become a reality when you are home almost all of the time, except for a walk to get some fresh air or going to the store.

When my brothers and I were young (yes, many decades ago), like all children of that time period, we played cops and robbers games.  Our getaway vehicle, or squad car, was always our bicycles.  We would zip around the neighborhood playing our games.  40+ years later, I find myself going out to the store dressed similar to how I only imaged I wished I dressed when playing those games.  Now, that bandana has become a fixture on my face when shopping.  I admit, I do not like shopping…FOR ANYTHING.  However, in the age of the pandemic, I look forward to our weekend food shopping.

What ever the day of the week it is, what ever the “new” style is, we will go with the flow for now.  I guess the key is to have good habits, get dressed for the day ahead and set your goals and accomplishments for that specific day.  That way, when the restrictions are removed, life will already be in a good rhythm and no major re-adjustment period will be needed.  In the meantime, make the best of wearing that mask, do not fret over forgetting what day of the week it is and enjoy the time you have to be at home.  One day soon, we will back able to say, “Remember that crazy period in the `20’s?”

The Year of the Plague

דם (Blood), צפרדע (Frogs)…as we were reciting the 10 plagues that Hashem brought upon the land of ancient Egypt during the Passover Seder, it was hard not to relate the words in the Haggadah to the pandemic that has hit 180+ countries.  As we read the words together, I looked up at the Dining Room table where I was seated with Debbie, Gab and Bec.  Last year, as in prior years, we filled the Living Room with the large gathering we have become used to for our first Seder night.  In a matter of a month, the way we handle our day to day activities, gather and communicate has significantly changed.  I never thought we would see the day where reaching out to greet a friend (hand shake, hug) would be shunned because of the potential hazardous impact.  What was once a friendly welcoming gesture is now considered inconsiderate and spurned.

About 24 years ago, my mother was dying of a different potentially deadly affliction – cancer.  I remember going to visit her in the hospital after one of her chemo treatments, where the nurses greeted us at the door and made sure that we put on hospital gowns over our clothes, covered our heads and wore gloves and a mask.  In this case, it was not to protect us, but to protect my mother, as her immune system had taken a temporary hit due to her treatment.  It was not comfortable, nor pleasant, but to visit and spend time together, we all knew what we had to do.  That year, Mom did make it to the Seder, propped up on a couch where she could hear us but was too weak to participate.  That was her last Passover.

We are once again required to wear a mask and gloves, but this time when going out to shop.  We are all practicing social distancing and found new ways to sit around the table to “visit” with out friends and families.  This means that the four of us sat at the festively decorated Dining Room table, with a place for Elijah and my laptop where family and friends joined so that we could all have a Seder together.  With a couple of tweaks, some deletions and a few additions, we were still able to have a fun, fulfilling Seder.  Our Zoom Seder still had group singing, parts for everyone to participate and some goofiness.  This included attempting to pass things between windows (it was magical) and the usual props appearing, just in a newer format.  I guess the lesson here is that we can still persevere, no matter the conditions, to get together and celebrate together. 

Like our ancestors, we will live through this plague to see another day.  We say at the end of each Seder, “Next year in Jerusalem,” this year I added, “Next year we will all be together to celebrate.”  

Independence 2019

As the second half of the year begins, as Americans, we take one day, July 4^th, to step back and celebrate the birth of our great nation.  In many nations across the globe, there are many countries where the population is nationalistic, proud of their place of birth / origin and celebrate similarly every year.  For me, this is a day to celebrate the birth of our nation, parades take place and we spend time together as a family.  OK, in truth, this is really more than just a one-day celebration – there are celebrations on the weekends and fireworks presented by the neighboring towns over a bunch of nights.

For this year, as for the past many years, one of the ways that I look forward to celebrating our Independence Day is as clown in a local parade.  For about an hour and a half, I had one simple goal, spread happiness!  The group that I work with, Miles of Smiles, takes an interactive approach to parades – we do not march in the parade down the middle of the street, but walk along the sides, interacting with the people and high-fiving children of all ages.  It is about making them feel good, giving them a memory and adding to a positive experience.  For me, it is really a chance to live in the moment - I was able to not have to worry about making decisions, no thoughts regarding the issues of the day and no crises to avert.  That time in the parade was a series of small slices of time and watching a smile appear on someone else’s face.  Needless to say, by the end of the parade, I was tired.  Onto the next two events, in costume, of course. 

As we celebrated the 4^th, it really was a celebration about a nation that broke away from being a colony.  A country striking forward with new thoughts and new ideas for that time period.  We were to be a country without a king, but representative leadership selected by the population.  In a relatively small amount of time, aside from becoming a world power, we were able to lead in multiple areas of development, technology and thought.  We have many good, positive reasons to celebrate.  I hope that you all had a great 4^th of July.

When in Rome, Eat Pizza?

The travelers return home!

Bec has been home for almost a week now.  It has been great hearing her tell stories of her adventures of the past month – Israel, Greece, Italy, Belgium, The Netherlands, Germany, Poland and The Czech Republic.  While traveling, Bec and her friend, Jenn, figured out what apps to use on their phones to help navigate their way through each country and how to maximize their time.  One of the big takeaways that I learned was no matter where they went, no matter which country they were in, they spent time and palate on enjoying the local cuisines.  They did not look for the American fast food places that seem to have gone global but truly understood that each country has its own food offerings and tastes.

Some of their local culinary experiences included:

• In Israel, they enjoyed hummus, falafel, baklava, shawarma and local wines
• In Greece, they enjoyed tzatziki, souvlaki and moussaka
• In Italy, they enjoyed pasta, pizzas in different regions, gelato and local wines
• In Brussels, they found out it was the originator of the Fry, enjoyed liege waffles (what we call Belgium waffles), chocolate and beer
• In Amsterdam, they enjoyed a burger, Stroopwafel, bitterballen and croquettes
• In Germany, they tried the local bier, flammkuchen (one of Bec’s favorites), pretzels, schnitzels and chocolate
• In Poland, they enjoyed perogies and local beers.  Interesting thing, Bec does not like liver.  However, she had a perogy sampler plate and her favorite was chicken liver perogies and kasha – it just goes to show that you never know whether you like something or not until you taste it, as preparations are different wherever you go.
• In The Czech Republic, they enjoyed goulash and Trdelník, a pastry filled with fruit and cremes of your choice.

Yes, we can find many of these foods here in the US, but it is never the same nor as fresh tasting as from where they originate.  I often use the story of being in a deli in Dublin and seeing a “New York City Sandwich.”  First off, there is no sandwich called that (especially in New York City) and I am not even sure what was in the sandwich that was representative of NY.  That is similar to eating food here at a Chinese restaurant versus a local restaurant when I was in Hong Kong.  Not the same.  I am proud that the girls spent the time to eat locally.  It was an opportunity to try new foods, to understand the culture from a different point of view and to realize that people in different parts of the world, while the same as us in many ways, have different ways of culinary expression.  It is an important learning experience that follows the old phrase that starts, “When in Rome…”

To Travel the World

In the early 70’s, my parents went to Israel on their anniversary.  I remember that it was such a big deal to make such a venture that all of their friends came over for a bon voyage party.  Similarly, my grandparents went on the QE2 around the same time period and the entire family was able to go onboard for a small party and then watch as the boat pulled out (yes, just like those OLD movies).  Times have changed significantly in the past 40 years!  Today, going on a cruise is a regular vacation option, instead of a special event with a super high price tag.  Same with plane travel.  While people my age did backpack, it was not common to know many people who traveled abroad.

That brings me to Bec, who has her degree in Travel-Tourism and Hospitality and an MBA with a concentration in Hospitality Management.  It would be natural for her to want to travel.  Which is exactly what she is doing!  This is professional research and development at its finest example. 

I am not exactly sure when Bec caught the travel bug.  Yes, she does have a global map which shows where she has traveled.  To put this in terms that are easy to wrap our hands around…she has been to more counties than the number of states that I had been to when I reached her age!  This current adventure started taking shape more than a year ago, always based on starting with a Birthright trip.  Birthright, a non-for-profit organization, which began 20 years ago to provide young adults an opportunity for a free 10-day trip educational trip to discover Israel.  Gab had taken her trip a few years.  Since that time, Bec began planning when she would go.  The cool thing is that after the trip inside Israel, you can travel anywhere, but need to return to Tel Aviv for the free flight home. 

The planning began.  After four years being educated in her field, and having previously planned her and Gab’s trip to Europe two summers ago, the research began.  The key was to do the trip on a very tight budget.  There are free tours available – check.  There are inexpensive places to stay – check.  There are inexpensive means of transportation – check.  Into travel agent mode Bec went, planning the trip for herself and her friend Jenn.  When the planning was completed, a four-week itinerary appeared.  As a parent, it was great to see that the cost of education was being put to personal use.  As a traveler, Bec is also open-minded enough to know that each potential adventure can lead to new experiences, new places and just as importantly, new cuisines.  There is the old saying, “measure twice, cut once.”  Because she took her time and did the proper research, the first half of the trip is going well so far!

When Debbie and I got married, we went to Israel.  I let my father know that we arrived safely by sending a one-page fax for $10.  Times have changed drastically in the past 27.5 years.  Using her cell phone (we could not afford them in 1991), she sent us a message (for free) letting us know that she had arrived safely.  We hear from her regularly and she keeps a travel journal on Instagram (rebeccasroadtrip).  The world has truly become smaller and the ability to keep in touch simpler.  As the R&D continues and based on Bec’s feedback, we now have some ideas of where we would like to go travel in the future.  I hope that whatever path Bec takes, she is able to pursue this passion.  It’s a big world with many exciting places to visit and her journey has just begun!

My Girls are Home!

For the first time in six years, our house is officially home to both of our children.  Our status as empty nesters is temporarily on hold.  Graduation a few weeks ago was a major milestone for Bec and for us as both girls have now finished their formal education.  I use the word formal because education should never truly end, as we all still have many things to learn as we travel through life.  Like a book, we have reached the end of one chapter, and have turned the page to begin a new one.

Gab moved back a year ago as she took a job in this area.  Debbie and I are happy to have her live with us to help provide the opportunity to save money before moving out on her own.  Same now goes for Bec.  And while that is the practical rationale, the truth is, even if this is for a short period, it is a good feeling to have the family back together.  Again, I know that this is temporary, because as much as we would like them to stay, the old adage, “our house, our rules” still applies.  Not sure if that is a negative reflection on us as being unchanging, but we still see our little girls as just that.  I remember, before getting married, when I was at my parent’s home, it felt like at many times they treated me as that little boy who grew up there and only saw the adult Wayne when I was outside their house.  Alright, I will admit, in hindsight it was kind of nice to be pampered, have food prepared for me and have my laundry washed, folded and put away.

Still, in the realm of milestones, the next chapter where we become empty nesters for good cannot be too many years off.  My mom always said to my brothers and me that “…no matter how old you are, you will always be my babies.”  My brothers and I laughed at that.  It has taken decades for that comment to finally catch up with me, as the girls are still our little kids – albeit in grown up form, grown up mannerisms, grown up attitudes, and grown up objectives.  Okay, I just described young adults, not children.  I guess the lesson learned, and the most important thing, is to enjoy them while they are still under our roof.   This should always be a place of comfort, a place of warmth and a place for family to congregate, for as long as Debbie and are able to make it so.

Passover Thoughts

“Mah Nishtana halilah ha-zeh? (מה נשתנה הלילה הזה)” is the opening to one of the first things we recite at Passover.  This is the phrase that asks the question, “Why is this night different” and sets out the tone and reason for celebrating the Passover Seder.  This is generally recited by the youngest person in the room, as it is the children that should ask the questions and the adults that recount the story towards becoming the Jewish People.  I remember those many long years ago when it was my turn to recite the questions and my father working with me to help me memorize the words and melody.  This is a tradition that has been passed down from generation to generation.  Even this year, as the “Mah Nishtana” came up, my nephew declared himself the youngest and went right into it.  As we age, these words seem to take on different meanings and each year, new family memories are made.

Even now, as an adult, I have great memories of Passover Seders long gone.  This year, my first cousin spent Passover with my father in Florida.  I remember being at my Grandfathers house with her and her brothers and the entire Zeiler clan (classic family patriarch running the Seder), and sitting at the end of the table being goofy, imitating our favorite cartoon characters and laughing.  Sometimes, my brothers and I would pull together some schtick.  I remember singing “Do You Love Me?” from Fiddler on the Roof, where I was singing the Goldie part and my brother did Tevye.  Then there was the time at my other grandparent’s house, in front of the entire family we did the Cheech and Chong routine “Cheborneck.”  This classic bit, if you have not heard before, is worth a listen.  By the time we finished, the elderly folk at the table had to pick their jaws up from the table.  We always finished the Haggadah (the book used during the Seder), but always managed to have lots of fun.

This year, when I looked up at our Seder (which I lead), as always, it is great to have new people experience our version of this tradition.  Done correctly, it is an event to remember and any first timers to a Seder, will never experience it again.  This year, most importantly, after a hectic year, with everyone in our family seemingly running all over the place, my traveling to Michigan and prepping for the holiday, it was great to have our family all in one room.  We prepared for the holiday as a family, we each add our own goofiness to the Seder and, best thing of all, we do it together as a family.  I know I have reflected on this in the past, but it is true that family time all together like this starts to be less frequent as the girls grow up.  I know, it is inevitable that they will “grow up”, move out and one day have their own families.  NO RUSH!  As long, as we continue to get together as a family for events like this, all is good.  This is where the memories that we carry with us come from and we hope to continue to make new ones for generations to come.