2020 Recap – Meeting Goals

We can all breathe a sigh of relief – 2020 is now over and in the books. This certainly has been a year that can be named after the Clint Eastwood classic, “The Good, The Bad and the Ugly.” We have seen it all, lived to survive it, seen good people fall to the pandemic, watched a crazy political season (with the related wacky news media) and have still strived to accomplish something. Each year, we start off listing out the goals and objectives for the upcoming 12 months.  However, 2020 saw many people rip out that page in the book, crumple the paper up and toss it in the garbage.  Let’s face it, I could have written out the same thing last year in regards to 2019 with removing the pandemic reference.  Truth is, there were more challenges in 2020 than in prior years…but, as a challenge, they should still be met heads on and met face-to-face. As James Allen stated so well, “Adversity does not build character, it reveals it.”

One benefit from this year due to self-quarantining was the ability to reflect (“The Good, the Bad and the Ugly”).  Most people do not like to sit and focus on themselves, as it can be uncomfortable to find out one might learn about themselves. However, self-reflection is key to understanding where you are in your life, finding opportunities for continued personal development and a measurement of how you are proceeding. As Aristotle put it, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” We have had plenty of time for this type of activity and it looks like we will start off 2021 with the same chances to repeat.

Another benefit, for Debbie and me, was having our daughters still living with us. This year was an opportunity to enjoy our family in a way we would have otherwise not had the chance to do. The past months have given us time to learn more about each other (“The Good, the Bad and the Ugly”) and, honestly, come to find that we are able to survive and live together in peace and harmony. There was the occasion recently where I had a commitment and felt bad that I would miss eating dinner with my family. “After 9 months of eating every dinner together, you can miss one dinner,” was the response I got. As we managed together, it was good to have this time to remember once the girls move out and live their own lives.

As Mahatma Gandhi stated, “I cried because I had no shoes, then I met a man who had no feet.”  We have to continually remind ourselves that no matter how bad we have it, someone else has it worse off. Helping those in need is always a way to focus on what we have, as we give a helping hand to relieve other’s true misfortunes. Being heavily involved in my synagogue, it is a wonderful feeling to see the generosity displayed by the congregation and others in reaching out in many ways, providing food, toys, donations (time and money) and other ways to help out.

While we all hope that 2021 is a better year than 2020, this is a wish we should have each year. Let’s face it, I could have written out the same thing last year in regards to 2020 or next year relating to 2022, with the pandemic removed from our lives. Here’s to the good from 2020 and the good for 2021!

Staying Healthy

The COVID 19 has become part of our vocabulary same as the Freshman 15.  Early on, when it did not seem that we would be quarantining for months on end, we all indulged in sweets, “nosh” and a couple of extra drinks.  After a few months, reality hit that we might not be “returning to normal” all that quickly.  There were shortages of some foods, gym closings and recreational activities severely restricted; The meant that we lost some of the outlets needed to burn off our indulgences.  Streaming services helped to provide entertainment while we sat at home – whoever thought we would reach the day that “trending” reports would include the most popular streaming shows?  While I am still way below that number 19, it was hard not to be caught up in this in some way, shape or form.

For me, lock down meant no commuting to New York City (which included walking), no flying for work or being in front of other people which included no more band practices.  Seems like some new-fangled math: Almost no reading (mental health) + increased Zoom drinking (hello beer belly) + limiting exercises (physical health) = COVID weight gain.  After about three months, it began to dawn on me that things were not moving in the right directions.  Books with titles like “The Slight Edge” and the “Compound Effect” started coming to mind.  The fact that I had taken on slightly less positive habits, the small increment did not seem noticeable, but in a short time, I began to see and feel the difference. 

OK, so I was never one to be confused with a Charles Atlas inspired body nor one who was a participant in sports activities.  However, back in 2016, I wrote a series of blogs where I challenged myself to improve my body, including taking some exposing pictures of myself to lay bare where I started and where I ended up.  Over the year I lost 14 pounds and trimmed my belly back to a thinner waist.  To achieve that goal, I had to be diligent on what I ate, how I exercised, etc.  I did not follow any gimmicks, just changed the way I was living with positive benefits.  Like the old slapstick routine where the comedian does not see the banana peel in front of him, I slipped.  Once my “tuchus” hit the ground, it was time to stand up, re-evaluate what I did (blame is my own), and readjust my life.  This meant better eating habits (aka, drink less beer), exercise in the form of stretching, simple yoga and other (good for the body), adding in meditation (mental health / mindfulness), and reading (mental health / personal development).

Though I doubt I will get down to the weight I was at the end of 2016, while quarantined at home, I do feel better now that I am focused on being healthier as opposed to waiting the pandemic out.  While it is still fun to indulge, moderation and mindfulness of actions still have to be forefront and centered.  What have you done to maintain a healthy perspective and body these few months?

I Got This!

“I got this!”  How many times have we heard this?  How many times have we said this?  There are two outcomes – you got this, own whatever you got and complete whatever it is.  Or, you do not got it, never took ownership and dropped the ball.  In the first case, you take the required action based on your commitment.  This brings up my favorite definition of commitment – Doing the things that you said you would do long after the moment you said it has passed.  In the second case, all you did was provide lip service, whether to make yourself feel good or to answer the way you think your audience wants to hear it.  Which brings up the question, how many times have you heard these words and knew enough up front that they were just words? 

Raising your hand and agreeing to do something = ownership, accountability and responsibility.  These can be scary words as it puts the pressure on us, causes people to keep an eye on our actions and requires us to take action.  Commitment has a cost, as it locks you into following through, answer to your actions and complete what you set out to do.  Sometimes we are assigned things to do, sometimes we volunteer and sometimes things just land in our laps.  Obviously, we are more apt to gravitate to the tasks or roles that we volunteer for, as it aligns with our passions, provides interest and piques our curiosity.  In all cases, once it falls in our lap, it is ours until someone else picks up the mantle and “runs with it.”

When we do not follow through with our commitments, we let down not only ourselves, but others around us.  We need to realize that working in a group, or team environment, each person relies on each other for a mutual goal.  Like a giant game of Jenga, there are pieces that will not have an impact and others that can topple the entire structure.  The complexity is increased when all of the components seem the same and there appears to be little differentiation.  I understand, as there was a point in my life (a long time ago) where I found it easier to make a loose fist, stick out my index finger, point it and magically plant the blame on someone else.  This made life seem easier.  Why? Because if it is someone else’s fault, then the pressure is off you and you feel that you can walk away unscathed.  In reality, you did not fool anyone, as the mess created by the lack of ownership still has to be addressed and now falls into someone else’s lap.

We are all familiar with the plaque that sat on the desk of President Truman’s famous words, “The buck stops here.”  Good words for anyone in a leadership position, as these words apply whether in our home life, work life or other aspect, the buck always should stop with us.  When you are the person at the top, there is nobody to blame, no excuses, but to own the things that we commit to.