I Hear You

 

“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” ~ Epictetus

Imagine that somebody makes you the leader. In other situations, you might be elected to the position.  In the world of Machiavelli, you might even reach out and grab that position for yourself.  Whichever way it occurs, you have found your way into a position of leadership – you are sitting atop the body of individuals who look to you for guidance, want you to paint a vision for the future and are in the position of following you.  People will now look to you (and judge you) for what you say, how you act and the method you use to handle situations. 

Many years ago, I was excited by the first opportunity that I had as a leader.  OK, it was a small role, but I was responsible for supervising other people.  Immediately, I told my manager what I was going to do, how I was going to tell everyone what I wanted, etc.  Needless to say, he put the kibosh on that!  It took me years to learn that with the title and the responsibility, do not come with carte blanche for me to dictate my will on other people.  As Teddy Roosevelt so eloquently put it, “No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.”  The only way for others to know that you care is to listen to what they have to say and pay attention to their words.

We all have opinions and some ideas of how things should be handled.  Not all of us freely share these thoughts, but we all have them.  Sometimes, we forget that the people we are talking to also have their thoughts and ideas.  As a leader, we should have some vision as to the direction and achievements we would like to accomplish.  However, if we do not talk to the people around us, there is no way to tell if we are in alignment with each other.  As John C. Maxwell points out, “If you think you’re leading, but no one is following, then you are only taking a walk.”  By taking the time to listen, people feel that you care about their thoughts (even if they differ), and it provides an opportunity to have other choices become available to you and realign so that more people understand the efforts.

Having the title of “Leader” does not mean everyone has to adopt what you say.  Having recently spent time in an organizational leadership role, I spent a lot of time listening, asking leading questions, and finding out people’s perceptions and needs.  When it comes to leading, we must keep in mind that “the needs of the many outweigh the needs of a few” (Mr. Spock, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan)  and the only way to come to the right conclusion is to listen.

Painting Vision

A question that I used to get when I first graduated college on job interviews was where do you see yourself in 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?  The answers were always based on some career path that was taught in school or somehow made it into my head.  Some of the responses that I got back from the interviewer were “Oh, yeah” or “You really think that?” After a few years, those fleeting answer that passed for a vision of my work future was exactly that…fleeting.  I was young, did not know better and had no idea where I was going at that point in my life.

During my first two jobs, I remember working on various projects / work related initiatives.  The actual projects that we were working on did not matter.  What mattered was the question that I used to ask -why am I doing this?  Most of the time, I received no answer from my manager, which always bothered me.  You see, I needed to understand the purpose of what I was doing and how it fit into the bigger picture.  Without a broad picture, or someone painting a vision, I had no idea where things were headed, no opportunities to provide feedback and usually never saw the impact.

Fast forward many years.  I now have what can pass for real life experience – 36 years in the work force, been employed by various companies, tried some entrepreneurial ventures and had changes in my career paths.  Then came the opportunity to become the president of my synagogue, which is a non-profit organization run by volunteers and employees a small group of people.  When I first mentioned taking the position, someone commented, “Ah, it’s just a couple of meetings here and there.”  In truth, this was more like a full-time part-time job.  This was still a legitimate business, with real needs and concerns, that needed to bring in revenue and disburse expenses.

As we know, change is vital to the survival of any organization.  For an organization, or the people in an organization, to change, they have to be able to see where the potential future might take them.  Like my earlier self, an overarching explanation needs to be given to help realize the potential.  Prior to becoming president, I spent 5 years as a Vice President, “learning the ropes”, listening to people and talking about a bright future.  I was already painting the vision prior to accepting the role, in attitude, in speeches and in conversations.  Doing this provided excitement, hope and a view towards the future which is hard to do after decades of doing the same things over and over.  To survive in the future, it needs to be communicated that there is a future, we can get there together and the changes will help us.  Once the vision is painted, the hard work then starts in following through to make sure the picture painted becomes reality.

On to a New Role

After three years as the President of my synagogue, I have transitioned into a new role – Past President.  Yes, I have already heard all of the alternate titles – Has-been, Used-to-be, Wayne who?  It has been a great three years, had the opportunity to work with some good, dedicated people and, as a team, made some much needed changes.  Being in a leadership role, I used many of the tools that I learned over the past decade, discovered many new things about leading an organization and gained a better understanding of where I fit in that picture.

In late 2009, I was introduced to the world of personal development.  I do not mean learning to feel good about myself and live in a dream world where actions automatically manifest themselves.  This  was more about taking a journey to learn, through reading and following people successful in their fields, to develop my own abilities.  It is way too easy to finish our formal education process, head out into the world and get caught up in the whirlwind that surrounds us.  Recognizing that “I am too busy,” or “I do not have the time,” are just excuses for not doing the things we need to help us improve ourselves, the direction we head in and take control of our destiny.  What I have come to understand about success, management and leadership all fell into line from others said and wrote about.

As I now have the chance to reflect upon this part of my life, there are clearly some points of advice I can happily provide to others heading into a similar position:

• Success is not a given and does not always come on the first try.  Success will come, but can be made up of small failures or missteps which provide opportunities to learn from.  It may take a few tries to reach success but when you do, people will not necessarily remember the fails.
• Have patience, not every action has to be done immediately.  Yes, urgency is important and it helps in prioritizing, but one should not sacrifice a success because one acted too fast instead of doing it right.
• Listen to the people around you, as you do not need (nor want) everyone to agree with what you say.  None of us knows everything (even though some people act like they do).  Differing thoughts can lead to new ideas or realignment of objectives.  Keep an open mind.
• Be persistent and do not stop just because others throw up an objection or place a road block in front of you.  Remember, not everyone will see things the same as you; be sure to communicate clearly, paint an inclusive vision and keep you eye on the target.
• Facilitate change, as the acceptance of change has to be a majority mindset, not just one person.
• Most importantly, be prepared!  I knew someone that said, when I get to position X, I will look around, see what needs to be done, then make some decisions / plans.  The rule of first impression goes for leadership, as you only have one chance to put your first best step forward.

As I go through the next few weeks, I will delve more into these points and why these stood out for me.

On Losing My Father

Last known photo of Arnold Zeiler

“This is the longest we have ever been apart…17 months.”  These were the words my father said to me when I first walked into his apartment on January 29^th.  I had planned to visit him last March when the pandemic broke out.  “Wayne, as much I want to see you, please do not come down, it is not safe.”  These words were repeated throughout the year.  While I did not want to catch COVID-19, I certainly did not want to be the one to potentially bring the disease upon my Dad. With the use of Zoom, we still managed to “visit” and share some semblance of in-house celebrations together.  I knew the words were not meant to make me feel guilty but a statement of fact and a sense of sadness we both felt.

Prior to this point, we had gotten calls from Alice, my Dad’s companion for these past 20 years, saying that she needed some help.  A number of years ago, our father had a series of back surgeries followed by a series of strokes.  This led to years watching as he “progressed” from walking on two feet, to using a cane, to relying on a walker, to barely leaving his house.  Regardless of the underlying conditions, we were all watching as his body began to slowly deteriorate.  I know that my family is not alone in watching a loved one lose their independence.   I have also been well aware that I had reached the age where I could have expected to have to help out with an aging parent.  Realizing and facing the reality of all this, however, are two different things. 

It became clear to my brothers and I that the time had come to determine the options to present to my father.  With decreased abilities and an increased potential for falling, we had all reached a junction where additional help would be needed.  We became the first line of defense, taking turns staying overnight.  I can honestly say that any sound heard throughout the night did cause me to think the worst.  24 / 7 care was needed within a short time as standing and moving with a walker progressed towards needing help to stand progressing towards using a wheel chair.

It is not easy to see someone who you remember standing tall, helping out when needed, provide guidance and giving support become the one who is now dependent on the help of others for the activities we normally take for granted.  Over the following 13 weeks, we watched the decline with the ability to stop the trajectory that his body was taking.  As sad as the situation was, we did receive an unusual gift.  We had all that time to reminisce together, share stories, laugh and cry together.  The 17 months my Dad mentioned when I walked into his place in Florida will pale compared to the amount of time from when he “left” until we get to be together again.  I will miss my father but I am thankful for the time we had together.

Period of Transition

Do we know when it is time to say goodbye?  On the other hand, do we know when it is time to say hello?  Our lives are filled with points of transition, whether or not we are ready for them or aware that they are happening.  Worse off, there are many times that we turn a blind eye to transitions, hoping to delay the inevitable and keeping things the same.  This is true in our work lives, our volunteer activities and most importantly, our home lives.  Sometimes, we have control of when a transition will take place and other times, we do not.

Many years ago, I was in Barbados for work.  Each morning, I was picked up by the same driver who drove me to the office that I was working out of.  Every morning, he greeted me with the daily weather report which always ended the same way.  What if every day was always like the day before?  I do not mean like the COVID-lockdown-every-day-seems-like-Groundhog-Day, but if we did the same exact routine each and every day.  We used to joke when we were younger that it was funny how cartoon characters never aged.  Think of the decades that Charlie Brown tried to kick the football Lucy held, knowing each time that she would pull it away.

Work, especially over the past year, has seen many people transition in and out, unfortunately aided by the pandemic.  Before that, how many of us had held on to jobs because we were comfortable? Many years ago, I worked for a consulting company when the entire marketplace (and their business) was contracting.  I sat there watching as people were being let go because there were no new assignments on the horizon.  I should have seen it coming, but I was not prepared when it was my turn to be laid off.  The transition occurred even though I was not ready for it.  Lesson learned – be prepared for anything and keep your head in the game, your eyes wide open and pay attention to what you are hearing.  Job/Role transitions do not always have to be a surprise. 

My life recently went through a transition, one that was impacted by another’s transition – the passing of my father.  Having been sick for some time, recognizing that he was physically failing, my Dad was prepared and ready for the upcoming transition from life.  When the moment came, he was not surprised.  Though saddened by the event, our family was also ready and prepared.  One transition can lead to another.  With eyes wide open and aware, transitions were made.  Some transitions leave us with an empty feeling, of a loss.  Other transitions lead us towards a sense of hope and opportunity.  How we face these are uniquely our own.  The key is to be aware of them and remember, this too is part of life.

My Grandfather’s Clock

 My Grandfather had a clock that used to sit on a set of draws in his dining room.  Having grown up in a house with electric clocks, I was amazed that this clock, old in style, had no plug to make it work.  Then one day, I remember Grandpa opening the top drawer, pulling out a key and asking him what that was for.  As he placed the key into a hole in the face of the clock, he explained that the old clock was run on a spring.  He continued to explain that the key needed to be inserted, as he was doing, so that he could wind up the clock (tighten the spring) so that the clock could continue to run.  The key was turned a number of times until the mainspring was tightened and the key removed from the clock.  “If I do not do this, the clock will run down, getting slower until it finally stops,” he said as he put the key safely back into the drawer.

The clock comes to mind when I speak of how my father is doing.  I am at the point in life that when I look at my father, I readily notice that he is getting older, dealing with health issues and needing more care every day.  While it is true that no child wants to see their parents aging, struggling with daily routines, nor, fighting to get through each day, it is a part of the circle of life.  I know that I am at an age where I am not alone, as friends have been going through these life cycle changes in similar manners currently or over the past years.  It is not easy to watch the ones that took care of you, made the decisions that shaped your life and help you when needed, to become the ones that now look to you to help take care of them, make the decisions that impact that their lives and help them when needed.  This can be at times awkward and unnerving as it does not seem “natural” to become the parent figure.

The truth is that a time comes where we need to protect our parents and make them feel safe.  Fortunately, our children are old enough to tend to themselves.  That also means they are old enough to see and understand the situation which makes it hard for them as well (in a different way).  As children, they still have the ability to learn; as adults, they have the ability to see how we treat our parents and will hopefully apply the lessons gathered when we look towards them for assistance (hopefully) many years into the future.  For us, this is a clear sign of our mortality, a part of life that greets us whether we are ready or not, prepared for it or oblivious of the waiting cloaked figure with the sickle standing off in the shadows.

I sadly watch as the clock starts to slow down, wending its way towards its inevitable path.  While we know how this story will end, that does not provide comfort today.  I feel like the young child I once was, standing next to my Grandfather, unable to take the key and wind the clock…all I can do is watch.  There is no way to tell how long it will take, but I will take comfort in hearing that clock tick while it still can.

Body Bound

 

In the Star Trek episode, “Return to Tomorrow,” the cast find themselves in the presence of three spheres that contain the essence of telepathic beings that have been in this state since their planet was devastated.  They wish, for a temporary basis, to swap with three people to once again feel what it is like to have a body, to experience life and to see if they can create artificial bodies for themselves.  I remember seeing this episode as a child and it always stuck with me the idea that if we were to lose our capacities, we would ultimately end up like the three beings – a sentient mind without the functionality of the body, forever bound in a sphere.

Science-fiction is funny in a way that when you are introduced to the thoughts, concepts and imaginations of the writer, the stories always seem fantastical, providing us with new ideas to think about.  In the time since that episode first appeared on television (1968), our world has changed considerably.  While we may not (yet) be able to move our minds into newer bodies, technology and science has provided the ability to extend lives beyond the lifespans of the 1960’s.  When my parents were children, no one would have believe that one of the greatest people in astrophysics and cosmology, Steven Hawking, would see the universe bound to his wheel chair, communicate through a speech generating device and produce theoretical breakthroughs.  Man’s ability to persevere, succeed and overcome obstacles is amazing!

But what happens when you have had a lifetime of multiple physical skills and then, at a mature age, things stop working as you have been used to?  How quick can one make the required adjustments to overcome the new challenges before them.  Blessed with sight, sound, mobility, etc., it is hard to fathom how to handle diminished or lost abilities.  As a 58 year old, I can safely say that there are times where I can “feel” like my body cannot do some of the things that it used to, has aches and pains that come and go, and, does not react quite as quick as it did 25 years ago.  Growing up, we had a German Shepherd, Tippi, who at a later point in life began to show signs typical of the breed – hip dysplasia.  As the condition worsened, the vet finally told us that she is mentally sound and knows that she will have to begin dragging her back legs.  Sadly, we made the “humane” decision to put her to sleep.  What we can do for our pets, we cannot do for ourselves.  From a religious point of view, our life is precious.  While science helped Mr. Hawkins and for many people, it has helped to allow new chances on a productive life.  For others, not so much.

When I was younger, I was fascinated by the beings in that Star Trek episode.  It made me think that once the body goes, we are left with only our essence…our minds.  The only way to preserve that seemed to be answered in a made for TV sci-fi episode.  I am definitely not telepathic, so that would not be a solution and I would be trapped in a “vessel” until science could figure out how to create an artificial body to drop my brain into.  Whether a sphere, or some other container, the key word would be trapped.  At the end of the day, the real lesson is to take care of ourselves, remember to stop and smell the roses and be kind to the other people we meet along the way.

The Story of Our Lives

My Dad recently asked me the question, “How much do you know about your grandparents?”  I thought for a few minutes and answered honestly, “Some.”  My Dad sighed and responded, “There are some stories that I am the only one that knows them.”  This exchange made me think – how much do my children know about their grandparents?  How about my grandparents?  Oddly enough…about their own parents’ stories from before they were born?

I had the unique opportunity to know my four grandparents.  That ended at the age of fifteen, when I lost both of my grandmothers within a year.  I do have memories of them and remember some of the stories from their lives.  I remember a few more stories as told by my maternal grandmother, as it seemed she was also still finding family members.  My maternal grandfather had a bad stroke shortly after she died and remained homebound and needed help the remainder of his life.  He was a good storyteller and came from a large colorful family.  But once he was sick, his speech also suffered.  My paternal grandfather, the only grandparent Debbie met, died just after Rebecca was born, which meant that I had the opportunity to have an adult relationship with him.  Naturally, as of today, I know most about his growing up poor in Europe, moving to America in 1920, his many jobs and his life in general (he lived the American dream). 

Most of what my children know of my grandparents comes from me.  As with most oral histories, the actual stories begin to get diluted, some of the holes in the stories get replaced (sometime consciously, sometimes not) and stories transform into legendary tales or family folklore.  All of us grow up hearing them and we all try to pass our favorite stories on.  In my house, some of the legendary tales my brothers and I always laughed at are greeted with blank stares from my girls followed by the question, “Why would you know that?”  And generally speaking, the stories about myself, while told in all seriousness, cause them to laugh at me, and keep getting recycled (always at my expense).  For example, I shared that my parents taught us how to dance for my Bar Mitzvah, specifically the Waltz.  That has given them hours of endless laughter, wondering who else in the world Waltzes in the basement and why is it that the only goofball that did so was their father (my brothers conveniently do not remember this).

I realized that the stories, however they remember them, are the stories that they will carry with them and become the tales that they will tell.  I remember my grandfather relating a scary story from the mid-1920’s.  He and a few friends were out driving in a car when the car got slammed into on the side by another car.  At that point in time, the cars were not made heavy duty like today and split in half, the front going in one direction and the back going in another.  As they got out of the car, the drivers of the other car were gangsters of some sort and the threat they gave buried any further action.  To this day, I only have the image of the car breaking in half and going in two different directions like a cartoon and I am laughing while typing.  I asked my dad to fill in the blanks.  He remembered the friend’s name (Sam Katz), he laughed and was fuzzy on the rest of the story.

These are the stories of my life; I am sure my girls will pass on the stories that made them laugh, taught them a lesson or inspired them. 

Every Day is Groundhog’s Day

As we head into February, the thought of living life where every day is Ground Hog’s Day has become a reality.  Ten and a half months ago, I remember wondering how we would be able to live in a lock down world, where we minimize our time leaving our homes, work from home and limit in-person social interaction (outdoors and 6+ feet).  After all of this time, the “new” normal has taken hold and we have all found new ways to live our lives, interact with friends, methods of entertainment and the way we work.  I talk about looking forward to the day we can go back to “business as usual” and recently was talking to someone who cannot wait to get out of his house and be face-to-face with potential clients.

Oddly enough, I have recently been feeling a new type of anxiety – one of leaving the house.  I am OK with going to the local Shop-Rite and some of the other places nearby so that we can function.  But the moment something new comes up.  For example, I just got my haircut which was something that I usually would do when my hair reached a certain length and started getting unruly.  With the number back up at new high levels, I have held off on going.  Yes, some friends started to refer to me as “Shaggy.”  The last time I went was in mid-September.  Living within a realm of Groundhog’s Day, that would have happened somewhere on the fringes of my memory.  I started to have some anxiety around going and leaving my house to someplace different.  In the back of my mind, I began to wonder, are my fears real or perceived?

Fear, according to Merriam-Webster, is ”to be afraid.”  One of the base emotions that drives us is fear (the other would be love), the sense of danger that is one of the triggers that helps us to protect ourselves.  For some, fear can be stifling.  For example, if there is a severe lightning storm, the anxiety caused by the fear of getting electrocuted could save our lives.  That is an example where the anxiety has a real underlying fear.  Logically, I knew that there was nothing to fear in getting my haircut.  The place that I go minimizes the people in the place, everyone is masked and safe protocols are followed.  Still, I was leaving my bubble of safety.  By the time I pulled up to the place, donned my mask and walked up to the door, I was my usual chipper self, without a hint of anxiety.  My fear was perceived. 

We have become so home-bound, we forget that the things that we treated as normal still go on.  People  shop safely, fly safely and for the most part, do the right thing.  If you are uncomfortable by the one or two people who are acting selfish (as in inconsiderate of the people around them), avoid those places.  Tomorrow I will wake up, like every other day, and engage in the same routines as the days before, as if it was Ground Hog’s Day.  Oh yeah, I forgot…it will really be Groundhog’s Day!

Feeling Empowered

 

"This is our job as leaders: to offer positive solutions and empower people. Our duty is to tackle our problems before they tackle us." ~ Paul Ryan

What is the value of a title that we bestow on someone?  If we are talking about olden times, if you were dubbed a knight, an earl, a baron, there would be some power, land and wealth that was associated with those titles.  At some point in time, the same could be said in a corporation’s organization chart.  If you were an AVP (Assistant Vice President), that position came with related responsibilities.  Supervisors, Managers, Directors, etc., all were appropriate rungs on a ladder that one climbed throughout their careers.  When I was an employee, I had a title and a pay designation that were not the same.  As a consultant, both earlier in my career and now, the titles have a different meaning in each company. 

To be fair, change in title does have a meaning within an organization, and can be a way to elevate employees with minimal dollar increases.  There are plenty of writings that discuss that most successful people are not motivated by chasing after bigger salaries.  It is the jobs (tasks) and challenges that cause us to “rise to the occasion” or cause us to be the exception and happily put out that extra effort that ends up distinguishing ourselves from others.  So, is the title enough to inspire others to make the leap in their engagement, output and involvement?  Or, do we need to empower the people with the new title, to challenge them, make them feel accountable and give them a sense of pride in ownership.  In other words, do we empower them with the responsibility that comes with that title?

All of us have worked with or alongside people that are happy to promote someone only to find out that we are now working for someone that is a “control freak”.  As managers or leaders, it is important to empower others as well as to delegate, promote their titles and provide positive feedback.  By giving a feeling of empowerment, you have the opportunity to make people feel they are:

• Included in the overall vision – nobody wants to just be a cog in the machinations of business, but instead understand where they fit into the bigger picture
• Part of the decisions – these are the decisions that can impact them directly, otherwise they go back to feeling like they have no say in their outcomes
• Included in various processes – inclusion in related areas broadens one’s sense of purpose and helps to not have a siloed view of the world
• Part of a team – everyone wants to feel that they are part of a group that can make a difference; can help with growth, provide personal motivation and a feeling of belonging
• A voice whose choices count – everyone has a voice and by allowing people to be heard will always help to provide new insights instead of keeping their ideas to themselves
• In control of what you have asked them to handle – a sense of ownership can lead to a pride in ones work and encourage them to take on other tasks.

Talk Too Much

I am sure that every ethnicity has a variation on the same joke…if you put # of [fill in the group] together in a room, you get # plus 2 opinions. 

In a recent meeting, there was a single, simple question asked and yet everyone felt the need to give an opinion.  There were only 2 or 3 possible responses to the question, but everyone felt obligated to provide an opinion, even though an overwhelming majority provided the same thoughts using almost the same words.  This caused what should have been a 10-minute conversation to last an hour.  Since some of the people in the group felt that they did give their opinion clearly the first (and second) time(s) that they spoke, and to clarify their positions, they repeated themselves again.  I have been in more meetings like this then I care to consider at this point. 

This goes back to a question I have pondered before – do we actually listen to what other people say?  I was taught years ago (I have forgotten the source) that most people, even in a one-on-one conversation, will be spending their time thinking about the next point, topic, or opinion they want to say without listening to the response, thought or opinion of the person talking to them.  I have been guilty of falling into this bad habit as well, usually in the heat of heavy, loud discussion, where I only want my point to be heard and to have my point of view to take precedent.    I have to literally take a step back, take a deep breath and remind myself that someone else is talking.  While I might want my opinion to be the take away, without listening to the people or persons that I am talking to, it is hard to communicate without hearing where their minds are at; Especially if they are making good points, or if they are the ones who are correct.

The ancient question is “Why do we have two ears and one mouth?”  Epictetus, a Greek philosopher who lived around 100 A.D., answered the question, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”  Conversations, discussions, meetings, etc., all involve more than the self.  If so, Epictetus observation still holds true.  Sometimes, we have to fight our urges to be heard and listen, pay attention and respond accordingly…no matter what levels we live in, strata of society we move through or political leanings. 

Delegating

“The best way to ensure that something is done correctly is to do it myself.”  OK, raise your hand if you have heard someone say this.  Great, now keep your hand up if you have used this line before, and be honest.  As someone who has worked with teams, been a team member and a manager, I will admit to raising my hand for both of those questions.  There were many times earlier in my career where grabbing the task and putting together the action items were a choice.  I had yet to learn that by doing this I was minimizing the person I was grabbing from, putting myself in a position where I now was responsible, and most importantly, removed a learning opportunity to help better someone in terms of educating them and improving their skill sets. 

If I am a one-man shop, it is natural to take on all of the responsibilities, action all items and provide all of the feedback.  The “buck” has nowhere else to stop at.  When we are young, we learn that it is our responsibility to achieve, get those good grades and excel in our endeavors.  When we succeeded or failed, we became labeled by our outcome.  Realize that for many people, those labels had an impact on their mindset and followed them as they grew into adulthood.  If we fail, we do not want to fail again, while if we succeed, it has to be only our doing.  Coupled with a mindset of “It is up to me if it was meant to be,” we fall into doing things by ourselves.  For a company to grow, this mindset makes it difficult to move beyond a one-man operation or grow from a “Mom and Pop” shop.

 I have been working with teams for most of my working career.  The good thing about a team is that by working together, each having our own responsibilities, we can achieve more together than we would be able to do on our own.  This is a different mindset than laid out in the previous paragraph.  Have I ever worked with a team where there is someone with the “I can do this by myself” mindset?  Of course, and this can cause the team to not work together, demoralize the group and fall short of the goals.  In this example, the members of the team need to realize that roles have been delegated to the resource that the manager feels can best accomplish each of the tasks.

Related question – have I ever worked for someone who did not understand delegation?  Of course. In this example, the manager hogs all of the tasks and needs to remember that the roles delegated need to be done by the resource assigned.  This also has a huge impact on the development of the team members; By delegating and supporting each person, you empower them to think for themselves, allow for internal creativity to occur and build confidence in your teams.

Like so many of the things that we do, yes, this is a lot of work and something emerging managers need to remember and strive to get better at.  Delegating responsibilities to others is not an easy thing to do and is something that one has to learn to be comfortable doing. 

2020 Recap – Meeting Goals

We can all breathe a sigh of relief – 2020 is now over and in the books. This certainly has been a year that can be named after the Clint Eastwood classic, “The Good, The Bad and the Ugly.” We have seen it all, lived to survive it, seen good people fall to the pandemic, watched a crazy political season (with the related wacky news media) and have still strived to accomplish something. Each year, we start off listing out the goals and objectives for the upcoming 12 months.  However, 2020 saw many people rip out that page in the book, crumple the paper up and toss it in the garbage.  Let’s face it, I could have written out the same thing last year in regards to 2019 with removing the pandemic reference.  Truth is, there were more challenges in 2020 than in prior years…but, as a challenge, they should still be met heads on and met face-to-face. As James Allen stated so well, “Adversity does not build character, it reveals it.”

One benefit from this year due to self-quarantining was the ability to reflect (“The Good, the Bad and the Ugly”).  Most people do not like to sit and focus on themselves, as it can be uncomfortable to find out one might learn about themselves. However, self-reflection is key to understanding where you are in your life, finding opportunities for continued personal development and a measurement of how you are proceeding. As Aristotle put it, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” We have had plenty of time for this type of activity and it looks like we will start off 2021 with the same chances to repeat.

Another benefit, for Debbie and me, was having our daughters still living with us. This year was an opportunity to enjoy our family in a way we would have otherwise not had the chance to do. The past months have given us time to learn more about each other (“The Good, the Bad and the Ugly”) and, honestly, come to find that we are able to survive and live together in peace and harmony. There was the occasion recently where I had a commitment and felt bad that I would miss eating dinner with my family. “After 9 months of eating every dinner together, you can miss one dinner,” was the response I got. As we managed together, it was good to have this time to remember once the girls move out and live their own lives.

As Mahatma Gandhi stated, “I cried because I had no shoes, then I met a man who had no feet.”  We have to continually remind ourselves that no matter how bad we have it, someone else has it worse off. Helping those in need is always a way to focus on what we have, as we give a helping hand to relieve other’s true misfortunes. Being heavily involved in my synagogue, it is a wonderful feeling to see the generosity displayed by the congregation and others in reaching out in many ways, providing food, toys, donations (time and money) and other ways to help out.

While we all hope that 2021 is a better year than 2020, this is a wish we should have each year. Let’s face it, I could have written out the same thing last year in regards to 2020 or next year relating to 2022, with the pandemic removed from our lives. Here’s to the good from 2020 and the good for 2021!