In Times of Transition

It is time for a transition.  To modify the phase from the movie “Risky Business,” “Transition happens.”  The Oxford dictionary defines transition as “…the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another.”  I feel like I just went through a transition, now I am preparing for yet another transition and a short way down the road, there will be yet another transition.  With a transition in life, in work, in roles and in attitudes, there seems to be no end to this in sight.

As a child, I remember going to school, playing outside, playing with friends and family mystery car rides.  Yes, we had mystery car rides where our parents would pick out something to do, not tell us and off in the car we would go.  Sometimes it was an amusement park (most of those from that time are gone, like Bertram’s Island), sometimes it was to some ice cream place with an arcade, sometimes it was…I do not even remember.  One time, I swear it is true, we were driving up route 17 and they announced on the radio that the Zeiler Family was out driving on a mystery car ride.  I never figured out how my dad pulled that one off…but I digress.  Our transitions, when we were young, were the BIG EVENTS: changing schools, reaching a religious milestone (in my case, my Bar Mitzvah), or getting a first real job.

In this past year, I feel that I have been involved in many transitions – I started the year transitioning to a new company, to new roles in the company and to different clients (normal in consulting).  We watched and were part of our children’s transition from graduating college, moving back home, to job changes, to a first real job and to other interests.  As president of an organization, I have been part of some small transitions which included changing mindsets, addressing real issues (which, like change, people tend to avoid), opening new doors and within the next six months, transitioning out of this role.  They say life is like a roller coaster, pull the bar down and hang on.  Yup, I can see that.

Transitions happen like a river, forever moving forward and never giving the chance to stand still.  It is important to take advantage of this while you are still able to do so.  As we begin the last few days of 2019 and move forward into the next decade, it is time to plan out the goals and objectives for 2020.  It is a time for transition…for all of us.

Happy New Year!

Annual Give Back Night

How often can you say that you helped others, provided awareness for a good a cause and raised money all at the same time?  While we know that ’tis the season for giving, it is important to remember those who are less fortunate, especially those in a situation not of their own doing. 

Saturday night was the Annual Zeiler Family Give Back Night.  This was our opportunity to help provide awareness for the Center for Hope and Safety, which “…is dedicated to assisting victims, and their children, of domestic violence by turning fear into safety, helplessness into strength, and isolation into hope.”

We met at one of the local malls (there is no shortage of them in Paramus) for our two-hour session.  Our job for the session was to help wrap gifts.  All of the supplies were donated for us to use.  It is right before the holidays and even in the age of cyber buying, the mall still had a good flow of people buying gifts for their loved ones.  For the shoppers, we were there to help them with the holiday task of gift wrapping.  There were siblings shopping for their parents, parents shopping for their children and friends shopping for friends.  Gab helped a little boy who was so excited that he picked out his own gifts to wrap. 

Once we replaced the previous group and were ready to go, there is always that initial moment of whether or not people will come by to have their gifts wrapped.  And come they did.  With their toys, clothes and other gifts. Our services to them were free.  I was excited by the generosity of the season which led most people to make a donation to the Center for Hope and Safety.  That generosity will go directly to help support this important organization to help others in need.

There are many ways to help those in need and many great organizations to support.  Most people are caught up in their lives, working towards making ends meet, and providing a roof over their family’s head.  While it is always great to celebrate (whatever the reason), it is important to remember that there are those who wish to have cause to celebrate, but cannot.  Whatever you do this season, keep in mind those less fortunate, and remember to keep them in your thoughts and prayers, so that they too can hope for a better future.

Holiday Prep

“Deck the halls…”

It is once again that time of the year.  I am not sure why, but this is the time of year we are supposed to be jolly, put on a happy face, and celebrate.  For 11 months, we work hard for this time of year.  Everyone goes on vacation, runs to various parties and wear those crazy sweaters.  Black Friday, Cyber Monday and other selling catch phrases invented for this time of year have the mothballs dusted off of them and are paraded in front of the masses hungry with excitement for this time of year.

I look at my calendar and my time is pretty full for the rest of this year.  Work still has to be done, the synagogue where I am president still has activities and meetings, food still has to be put on the table…you get the picture.  Believe me, I get the enjoyment of holidays, days off and extra family time – those days are listed on the calendar as well as everything else.  From my point of view, I would rather maintain that happy spirit throughout the year instead of saving for a single month.

“…gonna find out if your naughty or nice…”

Pretend it is January 1^st and the entire year lies before you.  You close your eyes, take a deep breath and let your mind drift off into the year ahead.  The images begin to come to you in a flash – you see the things that you want to accomplish, you have a vague understanding of how you are going to get there, and then you open your eyes.  I am pretty sure that at this point, you know if you will be naughty or nice.  15 or 20 days before a jolly being descends with a bag of gifts, the ledgers of life have already recorded you a naughty or nice quotient for the year.

“I’m dreaming of a White Christmas…”                                                          

I am 57 and believe it or not, I do not look forward to having inches of snow dumped on me in December or any other time of the month.  Many years ago, we had the fortunate of taking a family trip to Australia.  We landed in Brisbane on Boxer Day – it was 110 degrees, the thought of dressing up in a beard and a heavy red winter outfit was far from the minds where we landed.  The person that wrote the classic song, White Christmas (Irving Berlin), definitely lived in the northern hemisphere.  I realize that the image of Santa Claus as a large, jolly person coming to every house from the North Pole wearing heavy winter red has become global.   While flying over the equator I hope he has a good A/C onboard his sled.

OK, so there are plenty of contradictions when it comes to the Holiday season.  And, yes, it is fun to have various celebrations for various reasons.  Of course, everyone is nice (it would be even better if this was year-round).  I plan to enjoy the holidays as much as the next person.  Be safe, be smart in your decision, remember that the world does not stop at this time of year (as some might think) and enjoy.  “Christmas comes but once a year,” sang the great B.B. King.  As he continues later in the song, “Let the good times roll.”  Enjoy your Holidays, however you celebrate!

Facing Your Naked Self

Do you ever stand naked in front of a mirror?  I know this sounds like a line from the movie “Airplane”.  I mean this more in a philosophical sense rather than a literal sense.  Have you ever stood naked in front of a mirror to evaluate the person who you see staring back at you?  Have you taken that time to honestly evaluate what you are looking at, to think of how that person fits into the universe and to decide who that person really is?  Yes, you can do this fully dressed, but you better be willing to see the person who resides in the clothing that can be visually used as the definition of you.

We recently watched a movie where one of the characters was referred to as a trier, which is defined in Urban Dictionary as “a person who tries way too freakin’ hard.”  In other words, someone who tries to be someone who they are not.  A conversation I overheard was along the same lines, how the individual they were discussing acts like a different person at work than in a more social setting.  There are many circumstances in life where we are in a position where we want to be accepted, where we want to impress others and where we feel that we have to act like everyone around us.  If we think, feel and act like the majority of people, what have we done to differentiate ourselves, stand up for what we really believe in and present ourselves as we are? 

My parents used to tell the story about how when I was a child, I was a bit oblivious to what was going on around me and preferred to do things my own way.  I spent many summers at a wonderful place called Camp Echo Lark, where in the early days, we used to have a dress code.  The camp colors were green and gold, so our clothes were green and white.  Each morning, they would announce the “dress” for the day, meaning the shirt color and the pants color.  On visiting day, when all of the parents arrived, they saw a sea of children wearing the “dress” for that day.  My parents spotted me immediately, as I was the only camper not wearing white socks like every other camper.

Back to the mirror…as you stand before yourself, you might want to ask – are you wearing the white socks to fit in with everyone else, or are you wearing some other color?  Are you being who you are, or are you trying to be someone else?  Look, we all have people we admire, successful people who we wish to mirror and heroes whose footsteps we want to walk in.  We are not, however, the net sum that made those people what they are in experience, in livelihood and in ambition.  We are merely who we are.  As you stand there in the breeze, be honest about who you are, your strengths and your desires.  Strive to be the best you that you can be, and become the person who you were meant to be.  Only then can you be comfortable with the bare reflection that stares back at you.

Gratitude Edition

Thanksgiving.  A time to be thankful.  A time to show gratitude.  A time of festive indulgence.  This is the one time of the year when we are supposed to get together, enjoy a hearty meal, watch football and get that head start on holiday shopping.  This is a national day where we are supposed to be thankful and show off our attitude of gratitude; even to the point where you might go around the dining room table broadcasting to the world what you are thankful for.

As a kid, I remember learning about the Pilgrims during this time of year. They strode forth for religious reasons, braved their way across the immensely large body of water known as the Atlantic Ocean, and lived in an unknown world inhabited by unknown people.  This hazardous journey was made by a people with conviction, commitment and cooperation who forged together for a common goal.  The celebratory meal, which is represented as our Thanksgiving meal, gives celebration to man’s endeavors to survive at all costs and ultimately to populating and becoming the great nation we live in.  I remember making buckles for our shoes, little hats for our heads and drawing hand-outlined turkeys.  It was a rich opportunity to relive a critical time in our history.

Thanksgiving is the midpoint and the evening where frantic shoppers hit the stores in search of good deals so that they can get a huge jump on their holiday gift gathering.  We all know in advance who will be having the sales and the hours stores will be open for.  In an age where online shopping is becoming the preferred way to shop, Thanksgiving is a day to be thankful that the stores and malls still exist, because that is where the deals are!  Hate to eat and run…oh, and make sure the alarm is set extra early to continue the frantic search for that special item Friday morning!

Sorry, I am not shopping.  I look forward to waking up Friday morning without setting the alarm.  Spend a little time thinking about how special the day is, what it represents and how a small band of people came to this country, a country that represents the ideals of freedom, to make a new life for themselves.  Then I will be thankful for being blessed to have my family, to spend time together, to relax and to enjoy their company.  While we should not need one day set aside to be grateful (we should be grateful every day), we should not squander that opportunity.  And then off to my brothers for the annual, the traditional Thanksgiving meal, some seasonal beverages and being thankful for the day.