Drawing Circles Around Ourselves

 For four months, my life has been existing primarily from within my house.  I can probably count the number of times that I have been to the store, social visited with friends, etc.  Most of the time when I leave my house, it is the same as sticking your big toe into the pool to see if it is cold.  Trying to stay balanced, you gingerly poke at the top layer of water to determine what you will do next.  I do realize that I work from my house, conduct synagogue business from my house and Zoom socialize from my house.  My children live at home, so we stay together safely as a family.  I have unknowingly gone and drawn a safety or comfort zone around my house.  There are a few other circles that I have drawn where I feel safe, but not many.

Why am I talking about circles?  A number of years ago, I gave a speech regarding our individual comfort zones and how once they are designated, we find it difficult to step outside them.  I likened the comfort zones to circles – circles we draw around ourselves to feel comfortable, circles our parents drew to provide us with a sense of safety and the circles drawn by others to influence us.  The longer the circles are there, the stronger they seem and the wider the drawn lines symbolizing the boundaries become.  But, Wayne, you are thinking, if we draw them, can’t we just erase them?  One would think that.  I remember learning that one of the ways to train a baby elephant is to tether them to a post with a chain.  Once they realize that they cannot escape, as they grow up, it becomes a conditioned reflex, so much so that replacing the chain with a rope will keep the elephant still.  While a full-grown elephant can go pretty much wherever they want whenever they want, due to this learned habit, their comfort zone has become ingrained in them.  Humans are no different once the circles have been drawn.

For me, the key was to realize what I have done by drawing the circle of Covid safety around myself.  I feel safe (that is good), but get anxious about venturing out (that is not good).  I do not want to confuse this with going forth into the world with a mindset towards safety and a diligence to protect ourselves and those around us with the unusual amount of people vying for Darwin Award.  (Yes, I am referring to those who think they are immune to disease, disregard the events of the past five months and think they know better)   Now that I can see the circles that I have drawn around me, I can work towards erasing them by deliberately making planned ventures outside of the house.  Social visits in person, going shopping (when needed), etc., help to overcome these “fears” that have developed.  I am happy to wear my bandana and go out.  Because of this, I am starting to have less anxiety and working towards expanding the circles that I have recently drawn around myself.