When in Rome, Eat Pizza?

The travelers return home!

Bec has been home for almost a week now.  It has been great hearing her tell stories of her adventures of the past month – Israel, Greece, Italy, Belgium, The Netherlands, Germany, Poland and The Czech Republic.  While traveling, Bec and her friend, Jenn, figured out what apps to use on their phones to help navigate their way through each country and how to maximize their time.  One of the big takeaways that I learned was no matter where they went, no matter which country they were in, they spent time and palate on enjoying the local cuisines.  They did not look for the American fast food places that seem to have gone global but truly understood that each country has its own food offerings and tastes.

Some of their local culinary experiences included:

• In Israel, they enjoyed hummus, falafel, baklava, shawarma and local wines
• In Greece, they enjoyed tzatziki, souvlaki and moussaka
• In Italy, they enjoyed pasta, pizzas in different regions, gelato and local wines
• In Brussels, they found out it was the originator of the Fry, enjoyed liege waffles (what we call Belgium waffles), chocolate and beer
• In Amsterdam, they enjoyed a burger, Stroopwafel, bitterballen and croquettes
• In Germany, they tried the local bier, flammkuchen (one of Bec’s favorites), pretzels, schnitzels and chocolate
• In Poland, they enjoyed perogies and local beers.  Interesting thing, Bec does not like liver.  However, she had a perogy sampler plate and her favorite was chicken liver perogies and kasha – it just goes to show that you never know whether you like something or not until you taste it, as preparations are different wherever you go.
• In The Czech Republic, they enjoyed goulash and Trdelník, a pastry filled with fruit and cremes of your choice.

Yes, we can find many of these foods here in the US, but it is never the same nor as fresh tasting as from where they originate.  I often use the story of being in a deli in Dublin and seeing a “New York City Sandwich.”  First off, there is no sandwich called that (especially in New York City) and I am not even sure what was in the sandwich that was representative of NY.  That is similar to eating food here at a Chinese restaurant versus a local restaurant when I was in Hong Kong.  Not the same.  I am proud that the girls spent the time to eat locally.  It was an opportunity to try new foods, to understand the culture from a different point of view and to realize that people in different parts of the world, while the same as us in many ways, have different ways of culinary expression.  It is an important learning experience that follows the old phrase that starts, “When in Rome…”

Where Did Our Babies Go?

I was recently talking with someone and we were saying how it is odd that we do not feel like we have changed or grown older.  However, if we look at our children and where they are, it is a completely different story.  Yes, we bare the signs of age - like how my joints make creaking and popping sounds while exercising, or the addition of grey hairs.  In the song “Sunrise, Sunset”, they sing, “I don’t remember getting older, When did they?” rings true.

I recently held a new baby for the first time in many years.  It brought back memories of holding our babies, even though it now seems like ancient history to me.  I cannot believe that I have one daughter who works and one daughter, who travelled for a month and is now going to look for a fulltime job.  Gab is involved as a bride’s maid for her friend who has adopted Debbie and me.  I remember when the hardest thing we had to decide was where should we go and play on the weekend, or who would be taking them to their friends’ parties.  Now, it is picking them up from the airport, helping them with car decisions, and hoping that they remember to let us know what they are doing.  That is a long way away from when they were babies.  Oh, if that is not enough to make me begin to feel old…the baby I was holding was Gab and Bec’s babysitter’s first baby.

It is odd how all of these thoughts rattle around in my head around the Father’s Day Weekend.  I still have my father, for which I am thankful for.  As a father, I am blessed that I have the children that I have.  While I know that it is nice to have a special day to focus on each of our parents, Father’s Day has become a day where my brothers and our families get together, grill some good eats and quaff a few frosty beverages with our dad.  For me, however, I still maintain that Father’s Day for me is every day – I have my children as my gift.  As with a new born, each new thing they do, each new adventure they try and each new accomplishment is as fascinating to watch today as were those small “first steps.”

To Travel the World

In the early 70’s, my parents went to Israel on their anniversary.  I remember that it was such a big deal to make such a venture that all of their friends came over for a bon voyage party.  Similarly, my grandparents went on the QE2 around the same time period and the entire family was able to go onboard for a small party and then watch as the boat pulled out (yes, just like those OLD movies).  Times have changed significantly in the past 40 years!  Today, going on a cruise is a regular vacation option, instead of a special event with a super high price tag.  Same with plane travel.  While people my age did backpack, it was not common to know many people who traveled abroad.

That brings me to Bec, who has her degree in Travel-Tourism and Hospitality and an MBA with a concentration in Hospitality Management.  It would be natural for her to want to travel.  Which is exactly what she is doing!  This is professional research and development at its finest example. 

I am not exactly sure when Bec caught the travel bug.  Yes, she does have a global map which shows where she has traveled.  To put this in terms that are easy to wrap our hands around…she has been to more counties than the number of states that I had been to when I reached her age!  This current adventure started taking shape more than a year ago, always based on starting with a Birthright trip.  Birthright, a non-for-profit organization, which began 20 years ago to provide young adults an opportunity for a free 10-day trip educational trip to discover Israel.  Gab had taken her trip a few years.  Since that time, Bec began planning when she would go.  The cool thing is that after the trip inside Israel, you can travel anywhere, but need to return to Tel Aviv for the free flight home. 

The planning began.  After four years being educated in her field, and having previously planned her and Gab’s trip to Europe two summers ago, the research began.  The key was to do the trip on a very tight budget.  There are free tours available – check.  There are inexpensive places to stay – check.  There are inexpensive means of transportation – check.  Into travel agent mode Bec went, planning the trip for herself and her friend Jenn.  When the planning was completed, a four-week itinerary appeared.  As a parent, it was great to see that the cost of education was being put to personal use.  As a traveler, Bec is also open-minded enough to know that each potential adventure can lead to new experiences, new places and just as importantly, new cuisines.  There is the old saying, “measure twice, cut once.”  Because she took her time and did the proper research, the first half of the trip is going well so far!

When Debbie and I got married, we went to Israel.  I let my father know that we arrived safely by sending a one-page fax for $10.  Times have changed drastically in the past 27.5 years.  Using her cell phone (we could not afford them in 1991), she sent us a message (for free) letting us know that she had arrived safely.  We hear from her regularly and she keeps a travel journal on Instagram (rebeccasroadtrip).  The world has truly become smaller and the ability to keep in touch simpler.  As the R&D continues and based on Bec’s feedback, we now have some ideas of where we would like to go travel in the future.  I hope that whatever path Bec takes, she is able to pursue this passion.  It’s a big world with many exciting places to visit and her journey has just begun!

Seeing Beyond One’s Nose

I have been wearing glasses for about 45 years.  Without them, while I can “see,” the world is blurry and reading is extremely difficult.  Since my glasses sit upon my nose, you might say that without them, I truly have trouble “seeing” beyond my nose.  Thankfully, corrective glasses help my vision.  The ability to improve our sight has been in existence for almost 1000 years, with Arabian mathematician Alhazen being dubbed the “Father of Modern Optics” around the year 1000.  I am appreciative of all the advancements, including Ben Franklin’s creation of the bifocal, of which, due to the age of my eyes, I now take advantage of.  We clearly use technology to help improve our physical vision.

But what about our “mental” vision?  While there are methods of improving how far we can see with our eyes, what about how far we can see with our minds?  I was once told by an astute consultant, “If you can imagine it, we can create it.”  The limits of what we can do, what we can envision and how we perceive our surroundings are limited by the extent of our imagination and our willingness to see beyond what is directly in front of us.  By way of example, how often when a new “hot” product hits the market, or some new advancement becomes public, do we hear people say (if not ourselves), “that was so obvious, I could have [fill in the blank].”  Of course, once it comes into our sphere of vision, it seems as if it should have always been there and obviously, we should have thought it up.  In reality, however, is we did not because we were unable to see beyond our nose, limited by the scope in which we perceive the world around us.

This concept can be applied anywhere we look in life.  I remember early in my work career asking questions and being told “you only need to know about what you are working on.”  As my career advanced and I had the opportunity to “see” the big picture, the previous task I was assigned made MORE sense within the whole than as a stand-alone activity.  While most people are content with what is standing in front of them, it is the ability to “see” beyond our self-defined barriers that helps us to push forward, to think bigger thoughts and to achieve grander results.  Meeting up with like minded individuals helps to expand one’s vision.  The flip side is those with limited foresight tend to stand out more.  There have been many authors who point out that our view of our tomorrow is based solely on our experiences of yesterday, making it difficult to see “outside the box,” to expand our horizons and to be open to potentially new ideas that will broaden our views.

While I do not have any answers and there is no technology to assist, we have to be diligent and aware when we mentally walk down a path and come to the fork in the road.  One way leads to comfort, the same-ole-same-old and what we are most used to.  The other way is the unknown, fraught with whatever things our imagination can dream up.  Scary?  Maybe.  Exciting?  Most definitely.  And we might actually find out that once we cross over that threshold, the unknown might become the obvious.

Facing the Music

How often in our lives do we have a chance to stand tall and face the music?  This is not like going to hear our favorite musical group or listening to our children’s musical endeavors (or husband’s as in Debbie’s case).  I am talking about points in our lives, in our business, in our activities where there is a tough issue to face, a difficult junction for the future or a change that is required.  We face minor versions of this on a daily basis.  We have all watched other people and how they handle the situation – some people stand tall to make a decision showing great confidence, while some people wait to see how other people will react and other people find something else to hold their attention so as not to address what they should.

When facing the music, it can come in more than one flavor.  Often, we see the item at hand ahead of time with plenty of notice (if we are diligent about paying attention).  With a lot of lead time, instead of addressing the issue, we procrastinate and wait until the last minute missing potential opportunities occur.  A second would be when we round a corner that brings an issue to the forefront.  We see, we know it is there, we saw the cause and effect that caused it and have the time to react and adjust accordingly.  This is business as usual.  The third would be a crisis.  Eyes wide open, diligence of watching for pitfalls can not prepare one for facing something that needs a resolution NOW.  In this case we are most reactive and will have to possibly adjust afterwards once the dust settles.

In all three cases, you can decide not to face the music and be passive all the time.  In the second scenario, the way one reacts becomes more about their daily attitude.  For the people we known, we have a pretty good idea on how they will react to different situations.  We have all know managers, decision makers, etc. who we might go to when things arise because we have seen how they react and ask for their advice.  Yes, asking for advice helps when you know someone has been in the same situation.  It is the first scenario, where we have the most amount of time to correct a course, enact new ideas and strategize for the future that can become the most painful to face the music on.  Because there is no immediate sense of urgency, the tendency is that things will correct themselves and we hope for the best; however, hope is not an actionable item.  We also can fall into the trap defined by the quote attributed to Albert Einstein, “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome.”  If addressed up front, it is easier to make required changes, but by procrastinating facing the music there comes a difficulty where options have been narrowed due to waiting.

Facing the music has not gotten any easier since we have been children.  Leadership requires donning the big boy or girl pants.  Being an adult means taking responsibility when things are difficult.  In the television show “Once Upon a Time,” Rumpelstiltskin said many time “Magic comes with a cost.”  The same is true for the decisions and the timing on when they are made (i.e., action / reaction).   I agree – it is much easier to be streaming a favorite playlist, spinning our favorite platter or popping a disc into a player (notice, no 8-track reference).  Sometimes, we just have to put on the headphones to create the sound track when we go to face the music. 

My Girls are Home!

For the first time in six years, our house is officially home to both of our children.  Our status as empty nesters is temporarily on hold.  Graduation a few weeks ago was a major milestone for Bec and for us as both girls have now finished their formal education.  I use the word formal because education should never truly end, as we all still have many things to learn as we travel through life.  Like a book, we have reached the end of one chapter, and have turned the page to begin a new one.

Gab moved back a year ago as she took a job in this area.  Debbie and I are happy to have her live with us to help provide the opportunity to save money before moving out on her own.  Same now goes for Bec.  And while that is the practical rationale, the truth is, even if this is for a short period, it is a good feeling to have the family back together.  Again, I know that this is temporary, because as much as we would like them to stay, the old adage, “our house, our rules” still applies.  Not sure if that is a negative reflection on us as being unchanging, but we still see our little girls as just that.  I remember, before getting married, when I was at my parent’s home, it felt like at many times they treated me as that little boy who grew up there and only saw the adult Wayne when I was outside their house.  Alright, I will admit, in hindsight it was kind of nice to be pampered, have food prepared for me and have my laundry washed, folded and put away.

Still, in the realm of milestones, the next chapter where we become empty nesters for good cannot be too many years off.  My mom always said to my brothers and me that “…no matter how old you are, you will always be my babies.”  My brothers and I laughed at that.  It has taken decades for that comment to finally catch up with me, as the girls are still our little kids – albeit in grown up form, grown up mannerisms, grown up attitudes, and grown up objectives.  Okay, I just described young adults, not children.  I guess the lesson learned, and the most important thing, is to enjoy them while they are still under our roof.   This should always be a place of comfort, a place of warmth and a place for family to congregate, for as long as Debbie and are able to make it so.

Carrying the Burden

How often do you wake up feeling like you have the weight of the world upon your shoulders?  I do not mean that the entire universe is resting on your shoulder like Atlas, where moving your pinky toe has a ripple effect on the everything in existence; however, some days it might feel like it.  The feeling might come from something you are planning, an event you are looking forward to or a presentation to upper management where the impact can affect future decisions.  We all know people who walk around feeling that the planet revolves around them but seemingly do not feel the burden that I am talking about.

Calling all parents – here is a group who definitely feel these burdens.  As parents, we are concerned about our children and their future and whether or not we have done enough to prepare them for their own lives.  Many of us still have our parents, where once they were our guardians, our teachers and our caregivers.  Today, the roles have begun, if not already, to change.  When I travel, I always have my phone on next to me, just in case my family needs to reach me in an emergency.  Yes, as our children move into the young adult phase, they become more independent, have jobs and can provide for themselves; however, it does ease that stress level up.

There are always the points in our lives where we have to address the choices before us, evaluate the options that stare us in the face and guide the path towards personal and collective futures.  This is where the stress and pressure can really come to a head.  It can be hard for most people to want to take on the responsibilities of ownership when it comes to this topic.  I have had the pleasure of sitting in meetings where we all look around the room waiting for someone to take ownership, knowing whom the correct person for the task should be… being “the person” to make decisions can cause the fear of not making the right choice, being afraid no one will like the decision and discomfort of having all eyes on them.   The people who rise to those occasions, most likely have the same concerns and fears – it is human nature, we all have that little voice (called doubt) chatting away in our heads.

When you feel that sense of burden, remember you are not alone.  Responsibility is not something to take lightly!  We have to remember our goals and objectives.  The causes, the values and the future outcomes we desire are what really make up who we are and the person who we strive to be.  Diligence, consistency and persistence help to negate the feelings of burden.  I still follow the old adage – plan the work, then work the plan in many parts of my life.  Many mornings, when I feel like Atlas with the world pressing down on my shoulders, I take a few minutes before getting out of bed, mentally revisit the activities for the day.  Doing this helps the weight of the world to lift off of my shoulders, because I understand what I need to do to get through the day.  And once the day ends, it is easy enough to review what happened, feel good about facing fears, address issues and accomplish goals and objectives.