Does Success Mean Different Things to Different People?

When I was young, the image of success was a portrait of JP Morgan.  Not sure why, but the fact that he had a vest, a tie pin and a pocket watch with the chain across the front of the vest, seemed to me what looked like success.  I know growing up, some people thought success was being able to own a specific car.  As a young adult, success for me was being able to provide a home, feed my family and the ability to ensure my children’s education. 

I can list a series of people that have had, and continue to have, extremely well in running / owning business and in turn made some serious amounts of money.  The same can be said for certain athletes.  I can probably list a bunch of professions and the same initial comment would hold true.  The only potential difference would be the absolute value of the money.  While we would all like to be an Andrew Carnegie, a Richard Branson or a Michael Jordan, the truth is that they are the exceptions, not the rule.  I believe that the definition of success is unique to each of us, what our personal goals are, how we deal with the situations before each of us and where we ultimately want to end up.  While it would be great to spend a day in the shoes of the aforementioned people, I personally would not know what to do with unlimited money (but would have fun figuring it out), how to live on a palatial estate (seems lonely, but would have same awesome band parties and places for people to crash), or managing a different social life (but would be able to afford personal assistants). 

Looking at my grandfather, his father came to America to provide a better life for his family than they had back in their little village of Skalat, where persecution was not unusual.  Even though my great grandfather only had his family here with him a short time before he died, he was successful at accomplishing his goals and changing the path for his family.  While in Hong Kong, I learned over the years, that many families have maids from the Philippines:  they tend to the household, babysit the children and in most cases, cook for the families they live with.  They are paid an amount, that by US standards we would think as low wages.  However, most of the maids are successful, in that based on the standard of living differences between Hong Kong and the Philippines, they can provide support to their families (which remain in the Philippines) in terms of housing and schooling, then retire to a comfortable lifestyle. 

We are taught to use money as a barometer for success.  That is an absolute measurement about one potential facet of our lives, one that is constantly being hammered home to us through media, like the Housewives of _______ (fill in the blank), any Kardashian show, realtor shows on selling mansions, etc.; having massive amounts of money equals success.  I remember as a kid, the only show that stood out showing wealth was the “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.”  The truth of the matter is that it would be great to have to never worry about money, but to realize that, it takes hard work (i.e., adding value to others), commitment and living a lifestyle that matches what we can afford.  I remember my grandfather telling me that it was important to work hard early in life and reap the benefits as you get older, because if you do it the other way around, you become too old have the strength and fortitude to work hard later in life.  Coming from a small village, being a part of the massive immigration in the early 1900’s, living in a tenement house, and working hard to provide for his family and live the American dream, his words still ring true today.

Observations on Leadership

“Everything rises and falls on Leadership.” ~ John C. Maxwell

In less than six months, I will be assuming a new leadership role, that will consist of 2 one-year terms, at our synagogue.  When I talked about goals, laser like focus, etc., this upcoming point in my life sits on my mind.  To be honest, I am excited about the journey and looking forward to the opportunity to do good things, however, I am nervous about being (for lack of a better term) “the guy.”  While I have led projects over the past 20 years and have been involved in this organization for several years, this will truly be the first time that, as the quote famously attributed to Harry S Truman goes, “The buck stops here” will apply to me.  I have, of course, been reading on the topic of leadership and taken the time to observe others. 

Below are some of the things I have come to realize:

• Leadership is not about me; leadership is about us.  This should not be about a personal dictatorship, but needs to strive to meet the goals of the organization and the people involved (membership, etc.).
• I might sit at the head seat; I might lead, but, leading an organization is a group thing.  There should never be a point where I do everything, especially on my own.  There is the old adage that begins, “it takes a village to…”  We all succeed / fail as a group. 
• Failure lies with me; successes lie with the team.
• It is important to lead with a team:
• Provides mentorship / transition
• Peter Drucker was a proponent of a Management Committee – if one person is down for the count, there is someone else there to step in.  Continuity is also assured.

• Decisions are not about what I decide and what I want, more of, this is what we decide and what we want.
• I go and you follow is a misconception of leadership.  As John C. Maxwell has pointed out, if you take the hill and no one goes with you, all you have done is go for a hike.

At the end of the day, I know that this role will help me to grow / develop as a person, and a worthwhile opportunity.  This is a chance to learn how to get better at building bridges, making connections, remembering to include others, and, fostering a sense of community.  These are the real tasks involved in leading.  Managing budgets and costs are things that are familiar to me (for that matter, to any Project Manager, or, corporate budget holder).  I look forward to the journey ahead and for all it will offer (positive and negative), and, of course, look forward to sharing insights along the way and glad for receiving any feedback.

The Morning Routine

Ring, Ring…there goes the alarm…again.  I know that I have hit the snooze button already, but another snooze would be great.  Another nine minutes…

How many of us do this?  The truth, for me, is that half the time, I should just get up, as my mind is already off to the races, thinking about the day ahead or attempting to remember that vivid dream that I had during the night.  There are some mornings, however, where I am just tired.  It does not help that it is dark out when I need to wake up.  Truth is, in these cases for me, without the alarm, I would keep on sleeping.

One of the thought leaders that I have followed during the past couple of years once talked about joining the 5:00 Club.  This was 5:00 in the morning.  He proposed that while the rest of the world (at least in one’s time zone) is still asleep, the idea is to use the morning time as an opportunity to be productive.  That time of the morning is a quiet time of the day when there is nothing vying for your time.  Also, you tend to have a fresh, relaxed brain.  Prior to this, I always believed that I do not need to have a lot of sleep and can survive on 5 to 6 hours; this idea of a 5:00 Club made all the sense in the world to me (my alarm is set for 5:00).

Once I am up, however, I do love my routine.  I spend some of the morning time doing 10-15 minutes of exercise.  I also cook myself breakfast – yes, I know that this takes time, but it ensures that I have a healthy meal to start the day.  While I eat, I use the time to watch something online to inspire my day.  And, I have time to sit and write.  This is my creative outlet and I usually have more fertile thoughts early in the day.  I do keep an eye on the clock, so that I have time to finish getting ready and am out the door on my daily commute to work.  Sitting in the bus is also valuable time, to socialize with friends, spend time to read, or meditate (OK, sometimes I do doze off).  I sit at least 20 minutes on the bus and have 15 minutes on the subway, so I make good use of this time.

“But, Wayne, think of all that sleep time that you are missing.”

Let us recap to see the benefits of my morning routine:

(1)    I eat a healthy breakfast each morning, something that we learned as children is important. 

(2)    On some mornings, I have some form of exercise, something that is physically good for the body. 

(3)    I write daily, something that earlier in my life I wanted to do and now a productive part of my day. 

(4)    Watch something inspiring, as something to learn or to use during the day.

(5)    I am wide awake, ready to face the day when I leave for work and already have a sense of accomplishment.

What do you do as part of your morning routine that helps start your day?