Words

I am not following the Impeachment Trial, but I am bothered by the choice of words being used by both sides and easily gleaned from the headlines of all publications.  Words can hurt, words can heal, words can change the course of progress and words can face us towards a better future.  Last week, we celebrated Martin Luther King Jr Day, a holiday to celebrate a man who had an enormous impact and is memorialized by his “I Have a Dream” speech.  Juxtaposing a speech to inspire against speeches meant to incite fear and misdirection, it caused me to pause and reflect on how we speak and the words we use.

I have been fascinated by some of the influential speeches given by our forefathers, speeches that had the ability to convey heavy messages, provided context and imagery, presented in a highly complex language structure consisting of compound sentences and using, at time archaic words, to present their purposes to a young Republic.  Either this is the way they thought, or most likely, they took some serious time to compose the messages that they wished to deliver.  We live in an age of elevator pitches and conveying internet messages in 140 characters soundbites, now expanded to 280.  Yes, we live in a fast food world, where certain internet tools have helped to bring “fast food thinking” to the way we communicate.  While there are cases of this helping to provide a forum on world events, we now have terms like cyber-bullying where we can verbally attack someone or something and have an instant audience.

Truth be damned!  The quicker we get information out; the quicker people will react and respond.  Fact checking?  If you get your point out there quick enough, by the time the facts come to light, people have already accepted the “fake news” as the truth.  It seems like this mentality has bled into many other areas of life.  In 2005, a prominent news anchor left his job in disgrace over presenting a story as true, that ended up not being fact checked and was ultimately “fake news.”  Today, there are those who use these words, in most cases planned and well thought out, to appeal to the court of public opinion, where facts seemingly do not matter.  People are found guilty in the court of public opinion way before they stand trial, where we are supposed to be innocent until proven guilty. 

We the people have seemingly enabled these actions to perpetuate, as we purchase the printed news, listen / watch the stations that embrace this and worse yet, continue to elect officials who perpetuate this.  “My representative” should be exactly that – I will gladly vote against those who do not meet my ideals (party does not always matter).  As we head into the next political cycle, it will be interesting to see if anything does change, or will we maintain as usual.  Words are important – what we say, what we write and the meaning / motivation behind them.  How powerful are words?  On November 19, 1863, a 2-minute speech was given, that was less than 275 words, amongst a full program, including other famous speakers.  That short oration?  The Gettysburg Address given by our great President, Abraham Lincoln.  Sandwiched amidst the presentation of the day, it has more than stood the test of time, driven a nation to becomes its best and still stands as an inspiration.  Remember what good, positive words can lead us towards as you communicate with others.

Taking the Helm

Entitlement: “The fact of having a right to something,” or, “The belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.” ~ Oxford Dictionary

As part of going through the goal setting process for this year, it is important that we use proper language in writing out our objectives.  One of the key points in setting goals is to define the actions that you will take to achieve them.  The key here is the actions that YOU will take.  If my goal is to sit here and rely on others, then you are banking on someone else’s goals to include you and benefit you.  Let me be the first to warn you…You will have a long wait.  No matter what you might think that you have done for others, that does not mean that you are entitled to something in return.  Humans tend to be a little more self-centered by nature!

I remember hearing political campaigns where the people in the audience would tell reporters “that is my candidate, because he will take care of me.”  Again, sorry to be the first to warn you…Many, but not all, politicians will tell you what you want to hear or present agenda items to you to lead you to a conclusion that may or may not benefit you.  We are a species who are definitely influenced by our emotions, the two strongest being fear and love.  Some of the greatest (and evil) dictators of all time played on emotions to mobilize the masses to engage in activities that they might have done on their own.  If someone can arouse your fears, tell you what to do and then they will make it better – beware.

Many years ago, I decided to get my MBA in Finance.  The company that I was working for at that time had a tuition reimbursement program.  Being employed as an Accountant, there was no issue on getting their agreement.  I spent four years going to school at night to get this new degree, where it was my choice to go back to school, my choice to improve self and my choice to dedicate the time required to get a good grade in the effort.  I had heard plenty of stories that if you go back to school, when you graduate you are entitled to a raise automatically.  When I graduated, my manager congratulated me with a pat on the back and Debbie (my fiancé at the time) sent me balloons at work.  I found out that I was entitled to no raise, promotion or even a happy hour.  I was not upset, because my reasons for going back to school were for my personal benefit, not to make me entitled.  At work, my pay is based on the value that I bring to my company, not what I think that I am entitled to.

One week after talking goals, why was this on my mind?  Because sometimes, we do forget that we need to be in control of our own paths.  Roadblocks, bumps in the road and extenuating circumstances are all things that are beyond our control.  True in our lives, whether personal, at work, at play or anywhere else.  If we focus on the things that can control, we will have a better chance of reaching our goals, as opposed to ceding control and relying on others.  To be up front, I have thought about after my years invested in raising / providing for my family, working long hours and helping other, etc., that will come a day where I can sit back, relax and let someone else take care of me.  It is a mindset thing because, I do not know if I even could sit still, cede control of everything to someone or even just relax.  I do know, that if that were to happen, I better plan now for it instead of waiting to see who will do all that for me. 

New Year, New Me?

The importance of setting goals

As we have been taught from a young age, the new year is a time for setting our goals, with the corollary being a new year a new you.  I have heard some people push back on this and minimize the importance.  Do we really need to set our goals on January 1^st?  The real answer is no – we can set goals during the course of the year, but need to remember to set targets for achievement and a date by which to meet those goals.  Is it easier to start something on January 1 and end on December 31?  Yes, as we have a date defined for us when to begin and when to end.  In either case, it is important to review where you are at along the way; we should never fall into the trap of being 11 months in before we take a first look at how we are doing.  As a project manager, no client would wait that long into a project to gather feedback, hold their breath on the status, or expect no adjustments along the way.  That is a business case that we can apply to our own lives, such as when I shared the journey a few years ago on changing my habits on food and exercise.

Writing out our goals

Making a public declaration of our goals is one thing.  How many of you actually hand write them down?  As a confession, sometimes I have and sometimes I have not.  However, many thought leaders and successful people in various fields swear by the benefits of writing down goals and doing so in detail.  There is the often-repeated story about Jim Carey writing down his earnings goals when he got to Hollywood.  There is the story that circulated about a man finding the picture he drew of his dream house that he found years after he was living in his dream house; he drew a picture of the house he was living in many years before the house was purchased.  Or the cases where a spouse has written out in detail the mate they hoped to meet and eventually did.  There are plenty of articles on the internet that explain the Neuroscience studies on this.  The simple explanation is that by writing down our goals in detail will help to encode the information to our brain.  Our brain unconsciously then works, or focuses, on what we have passed it, sort of like when you are thinking about a new car you are interested in and all of a sudden, you see that car everywhere.  James Allen wrote the classic book, “As a Man Thinketh” in 1903, and his points about thinking and following through were true then and have science to back it up today.

Goals that are attainable and realistic

“I want to be president of an organization.”  “I want millions of dollars.”  “I want a life of complete financial freedom.”  These are all great goals!  But, are they realistic to achieve in 12 months?  For each of these three and many more big goals (yes, we should think big), in reality there are many steps along the way to reach our desires – there are no shortcuts.  I am president of my synagogue (goal 1?) and this goal did not occur overnight.  I worked on committees, co-chaired a committee with my wife, joined the Board, then was a vice-president for 5 years where I had the opportunity to “learn the ropes.”  In the business world, there would need to be years in various positions before being able to move into a top position.  For the monetary goals, unless you are one of the few that invents the next best thing since sliced bread, you have to be willing to follow a path, with a series of goals that need to be met (in terms of areas of expertise), that include knowledge building and financial earnings power.  The big goals may be multi-year, but the current goals need to be realistic so that achieving them will cause you to continue towards the bigger goals, as opposed to failing, getting frustrated and walking away from your dreams.

Next Steps

Now comes the hard part – putting pen to paper.  Write down your goals, plan out your milestones and start a periodic review process.  Not sure you know everything that you need to?  This is where personal development comes into play; begin by creating a reading plan and attend seminars (much easier with the web).  I know that it has become a cliché statement, but now that you have “planned the work, you need to work the plan.”  Here’s to a fruitful and productive year!