Do You Get It?

Have you ever explained something and the person you were talking with had the blank deer in the head lights look?  How about the deafening silence on the other side of the phone?  A roomful of people sitting like mannequins?  The slack jaw gawk of disbelief staring you in the face?  You know what I mean…the one(s) you are talking to either does not understand a word you are saying, or just simply does not get it.  This is usually when the audience is receiving new information, facing change or having something new clarified to them.  The most difficult time is when there is change afoot.

I truly believe that at times we can be so change averse, regardless of how dire our situation, we cannot fathom the world is changing, the past is over or leaving behind our comfortable world.  Unfortunately, that type of mindset leads to waiting so long to take action that when we rise out of our comfortable chair to do something relevant, the moment has long ago passed us by…the old saying “too little too late” applies.  Sadly, at this juncture, we have nothing to do but sit back down in our old worn comfortable chair and wonder what happened.  This can happen to organizations, political positions and to people who do not evaluate their situation until there is no choice left.  This is the category where advice, statistics and views into the wider world do not register.

The flip side are those that keep their heads up and look out towards the horizon watching for shifts in the tide (trends).  They want to be aware of where the future can bring us.  Thomas Alva Edison is attributed to have said “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”  This category will recognize that there are challenges ahead, opportunities to be addressed and work to be done to point towards the future.  This group will take this to heart and most importantly, put forth the effort required to reach those goals.  Change is not a foreign concept, but indigenous to the path that they stride upon. 

There is another group – those that see the changes / challenges ahead, but like where they are and are comfortable falling behind those that move ahead.  We have all met those people that are happy to remain in that bubble that they long ago surrounded themselves in, not cutting off the world, but enjoying the peace, tranquility and circle of comfort that they prefer to live in.  This can apply to individuals or larger groups of people that live in a modern world, but choose to exist in their own way.

During the course of time, if we are involved in many different components of our lives, we might face each of the above.  As always, life is full of options and choices.  Sometimes the answers are straight forward.  Sometimes the answers are clouded by too many paths before us or unclear options.  Sometimes, we wait to see what will happen, due to being unsure.    I was once taught that confused people do nothing.  It is hard when you are part of a group that needs change, but cannot see it, nor the value it would bring.  Which category do you belong to? 

Plan the Weekend?

It is funny to think that our weekends can be as busy, or busier, than our weekdays!  Recently, I was reminded that the weekends are the perfect time to rest and prepare for the week ahead – a time to sleep, plan and line up our Mondays through Fridays.  At my first job, the husband of the company owner’s secretary owned the bar across the street where we all met after work on Friday.  This led me to feel that the weekends began the moment I stopped working on Friday, popped a few beverages, rested / relaxed and kind of went with the flow.  Do you remember those carefree days?  Those years do not last long, as you marry, start a family, build a household and grow within your community. 

As my life became full of commitments and responsibilities, I found the following questions come to mind:

·         Do I really have the needed downtime, or do I need to plan the time for it?

·         Do I have time to prepare for the week, or do I need to plan the time for it?

·         Do I have time to handle chores / responsibilities, or do I need to plan the time for it?

·         Do I have time to socialize on the weekend, or do I need to plan the time for it?

Based on a fully scheduled week, I began to realize that the second half of the above questions were a common thread – I needed to plan for my non-work time to ensure that my “down time” was used wisely.

While I agree on the importance of having time off from the hustle and bustle of the week, I have found that I have to schedule precious downtime on the weekends to ensure that I have the time to sit, relax and think about other things in my life.  Last weekend was one of the few times that I had actual time to take a nap (which I still like to do when possible), watch something funny on TV (Impractical Jokers, so I was guaranteed to laugh), catch up on chores and spend some needed family time.  While it was nice and it provided the time to do nothing, I have to admit, I do like knowing what is next and, for me, doing nothing gets boring pretty quickly (which could lead to additional naps and no productivity).  Yes, I was the kid who did not like sitting still and liked to have an activity in front of me.  I guess some things never change…

Can You Spot the Leader?

Team Leader, Manager, Counselor, Head Usher, Supervisor, Chairman, Director, Vice President, President, Business Owner.  Here is a list of titles, that also represent roles or positions, where the person who carries that label must be able to work with others, lead, inspire, manage and assume certain responsibilities.  Within different groups or organizations, each of those roles who have different authorizations, capabilities and tasks that fall on the shoulders of that person.  “Why would you want that?” is a question I have heard, whether said directly to me or in regards to others. 

So, you want to be a leader?  That is something that is honorable to aspire towards.  “It looks easy” and “I can do what he/she does” are common phrases I have heard.  John C. Maxwell, leadership expert and author, once wrote that when he first took a leadership role (as a pastor), he thought that he could do what he wanted to and everyone would follow along because he was the leader.  When I was studying for my MBA, I took a management course and the professor made it clear that there are leaders who have a title and leaders who do not.  That was the topic that Robin Sharma, author and leadership expert, explored in his book, “Leading Without a Title.”  Leadership is a term, whether or not you have the title, that is defined by the Oxford Dictionary (from the website Lexico) as “The action of leading a group of people or an organization.”

Can you spot a leader?  Forbes identifies 11  traits of a powerful leader (from a March 22, 2017 posting) as: Having the ability to self-manage, Act Strategically, Being an Effective Communicator, Being Accountable and Responsible, Setting and Achieving Clear Goals, Vision for the Future, Manage Complexity, Fostering Creativity/Innovation, Team Building / Teamwork, Create Lasting Relationships, Ability to Learn.  That is certainly a long list, though it is pretty inclusive of a lot of vital traits.  We all know or have worked for people who have embodied many of these traits.  We all know or have worked with people who have embodied these traits but do not have a title.  As well, we also all know or have worked for people who have the title but none (or few) of the traits.

Do you have what it takes to be a leader?  Look at the list provided by the Forbes article.  It is easy to look in the mirror and see which traits the person staring back at you has.  And be honest with yourself!  Most of the items you might fall short on are learnable through personal development (classes, seminars and books).  Some institutions provide furthering education to learn these traits.  Some are a little more esoteric, such as having a vision for the future.  Another method of learning would be through experience – not everything will be successful, but each failure will teach you something that you can apply next time to become successful.  Remember the list at the top?  Those were some of the titles that I have been labeled with during the course of my life so far.  I still subscribe to the saying that leaders are readers and that to be a leader you have to be open to learn, listen and look for opportunities that benefit all.

Rinse Cycle

I think that most of the time we forget about how awesome our country is.  If you spend time watching or listening to media, all you hear are points of negativity, failure posturing and political condemnation.  It is a rare occasion when the news covers about the beautiful landscapes and type of terrains that exist.  If you were to evaluate our country based on the media, you would potentially have a distorted view. I realize that the prism in which we view the universe in provides us with what we believe to be true, but that does not always mean that is the truth.

This past weekend, Debbie and I had a chance to visit one of the awesome treasures that we have in our country.  We had the opportunity to spend the weekend in Sedona, Arizona – a truly cool place that was grand on many levels.  As we drove through the winding mountain routes (route 89), we saw a gap between the mountains that made us go “Wow!” out loud.  After coming from the Scottsdale / Phoenix area, where these cities were full of people, buildings and noise, the relative quiet, open space and relaxing feeling while standing near the red rock formations was easily impactful on us.  In the short time we had, we explored their tourist area, went off roading on a jeep tour, ate our meals outdoors while looking out at the scenery and found spots for solitude and reflection.  By the time we left, we felt that this was a place to return for a longer period of time.

Under the hustle and bustle of life, where we spend our valuable time striving to make a difference, support our families and champion causes, we sometimes forget to stop and catch our breath.  Yes, I know that I write about this after I actually have had a chance to “press the rinse cycle” on my life, take a brief break and reset my perspective.  This time, we had a chance to view natural wonders and breathe in some fresh, untainted air.  We left our worries behind, stopped thinking about the “daily grind” and enjoyed our precious time together in a really different environment; an environment that was here long before our families arrived on these shores and one that will long outlive our generations to come.  Sometimes, we get caught up in the “BS” that assails our senses and forget that we do truly have a great nation, with awesome places to visit and natural adventures to be experienced.