“Remember when we were young?”
Sounds like the beginning of a Pink Floyd song (bonus points if you know the
song). Part of being a young adult was
going out on dates. Now, I am 53 years
old, married with children in college and my last “official” date that I asked
a girl to go with me became my wife. BC,
as in before children, we used to go out frequently, with friends, for dinners,
for parties or just to the movies. AC,
after children, we went out less frequently in general. Yes, we did have babysitters, but there was
now an additional cost to going out. Going
out could be an expensive night out; in fact, there was a time all we could
afford was the babysitter, so we would hang out at my brother’s house. And as our children got older, to be 100%
honest, we enjoyed doing things more as a family; for we knew that the day
would come when we would reach the EN, empty nest, part of our lives. We have friends, we have gone out, but rarely
refer to this as a “date night.”
We went out with a group of
friends a few weeks ago to a local show and dessert after. The week before, we went out to dinner with a
different group of friends. At this
point in my life, I need to redefine what a date is, as I am no longer a young
adult trying to woo some fair young damsel (I will leave it at that and up to
your individual imaginations). At that
point in my life, there was a level of excitement, maybe even a giddiness to
asking out someone you barely knew, or being asked to go on a date. There was something fresh about meeting
someone new and getting to know them. I
have known Debbie coming up on 27 years, or put differently, we have reached
the point where we have been together longer than the time before we knew each
other. I still owe some excitement to my
wife, even though we know almost everything about each other.
BC was learning about each other
and enjoying the time with just the two of us.
AC was time spent raising children and being a family. EN is still new and an adjustment to our
lives. So then how do I approach
redefining “date night”? Maybe it is
just a chance to take a break from the week, check our brains at the front door
and enjoy time together in a more social environment. We definitely have our weekday routines, our weekend
routines and our holiday routines.
Maybe, “date night” is a chance to mix things up, an opportunity to try
out new things together (I do not know what that is), revisit something we had
done years ago when we were younger (going to a utensil-less dinner) or an old
fashioned dinner and a movie.
Since I started this article, I
have gone and asked my date, Debbie, if she wanted to go out for dinner and a
movie. The following night, we went out
for dinner and a few drinks. After all
of this time together, it still felt like asking someone on a first date. I went through the old thinking – “Will I
sound stupid?”, “What if she says no?”, “What if she says yes.” Of course, she said yes. It was exciting, and we went to a new
restaurant and had a great evening. I realized
that “date night”, for now, is just a label for spending time together with
someone I love, doing something we can enjoy together and sharing experiences. For the first time in many years, I have to
be honest, probably since BC, I am looking forward to Valentine’s Day, and have
made some fun plans. Bottom line – Spend
time together with the one you love, it does not necessarily mean spending
money on them, but something of real value…your time.
No comments:
Post a Comment