You know, there are points in one’s life where we know that the day is going to come. It is inevitable; it is the way of things. Still…we close our eyes and remember the time before, the time when this day was in the future. Sometimes we push off the future. As humans, we are good at reveling in the moment. We are also good at worrying, about the future – apprehensive about what it holds, nervous about what can come to pass and yet, remain expectant of the good that can happen. Yet, this morning I sit on the side of my bed and still cannot believe that today has come and the void that I feel.
I remember when Debbie and I were going out. I was not that outwardly emotional, as I consciously did not want to be ruled by emotions. It seems that it is a bit of a Zeiler trait, to not seem too emotional. Like a certain Vulcan character, outward appearances can be misleading, because inside, especially as I get older, I feel that I am becoming more emotional. Let us not get crazy, this does not mean that I have become some weeping, weak person that cries at the drop of a hat. OK, Debbie, Bec and our niece Ruby did go to the movies earlier in the summer, and there was not a dry eye between the four us. Then there was that time on the plane…but I am digressing.
Today is different…
Today, we have to get used to the change.
Today, this becomes the first of many days without our baby. When Gab went to school, we still had Bec. We had two years having a chance to get to know just Bec.
Today, she is a freshman, with a grand adventure ahead. We are happy and proud of Bec (as we are of Gab).
Today, I am sad. We love our girls and been blessed to spend great times together.
Today, it is the start of just Debbie and I being together, to renew what we found in each other, oh, those many years ago.
Today, I am happy, to have my best friend with me…it will make this transition that much easier…