Steppin' Out

 

I do not get out much.  Since March, I have written about the minimal times that I have been out, the circles that I have drawn around myself and the diligence to remain safe.  The truth is, while my comfort zone is primarily my house, that does not mean I do not yearn to go out and do the things that we used to do.  I have commented that I would love to get in the car and drive somewhere for vacation, but I have no desire to eat in a hotel, when half the fun of vacation is going and doing what you want in the moment that you want to do it. 

Last week, cabin fever was reaching a peak.  Debbie suggested that I come up with something that I would like to do.  What we really needed was a change of scenery, something outside our usual travelling (i.e., the supermarket), and something to feel good and safe about.  We wanted to go someplace outside and to get some exercise.  After a little research, we found the perfect location.  We found a historical pedestrian walkway over the Hudson River where the walkway is a converted railroad bridge.  The two of us gathered our supplies (snacks, drinks, toiletries, etc.), hopped into the car and off we went.  After the past five months of barely leaving my house, I was travelling outside the county and crossing the state border.  Nothing too hair raising, but this felt like a big step.  And who better to have an adventure with than my wife!

It was a great day to take a drive.  The sun was out and driving up the NY turnpike was enough to make the trip worthwhile.  We followed the Hudson River north until we crossed over the Mid-Hudson Bridge.  Looking off to the left, we could see the “Walkway over the Hudson”, our destination.  We arrived at the half full parking lot, donned our masks, grabbed our drinks and went off.  I was nervous at first, until I noticed that everyone maintained a social distance from the other walkers.  Everyone had masks with them, though took them off while walking.  We reached the far side of the bridge, then walked through the streets of Poughkeepsie to have a chance to walk across the Mid-Hudson Bridge.  This bridge was empty.  Then we found something really cool and unexpected; The composer, Joseph Bertolozzi, recorded the sound of the bridge to create music.  Along the walk are stations that explain his process and present this unique musical experience. 

When we returned to our car, we realized that this was exactly what the doctor ordered.  We had a safe mini-adventure.  Even though we thought about finding a place to get a drink, we played it safe and realized that we could pick up a drink from a drive through and then drive home.  It was a great day!  OK, all we really did was go to a different location for a walk, but a change of location, exercise, a sunny day and walking hand-in-hand with my wife…it was worth “Steppin’ out, with my baby.” *

 

* Music from Irving Berlin played in my head…

Awesome Evening Activity - Baking Cookies

“I am participating in a cookie exchange.  Do you want to help bake with me?”

I like to cook, as there is a certain creative aspect to coming up with a rub, or a flavoring, or even a sauce.  However, I am not very adept at baking.  Generally, I would say that I have something else to occupy my time.  As I was thinking about possible answers, Debbie added, “I am going to bake Black and White Cookies.”

I did a double take…who does not like Black and White Cookies?!  She had my attention!

“I’m in!” I responded, probably a bit too quickly.

Together, we read over two different potential recipes.  Debbie had purchased the ingredients to make either one a success.  Baking, especially for me, is all about following the directions.  I kind of understand that certain ingredients combined together can have, as a whole, a different impact than separately.  We put the batter together, then we worked on creating the homemade icing (yup, both vanilla and chocolate).  Once the cookies were out of the oven, we ooo’d and ah’d over the way they had the shape of the cookie.  Next, we each took an icing and did our halves, making sure that the icing met neatly in the middle.

“Boy, it got quiet in here,” Debbie noticed.

“I have to concentrate while putting the icing on,” I responded.

I also got to thinking; part of the fun of this cookie is that it has the two parts.  Many times, I have eaten one side, then the other.  And, sometimes, I go right down the middle.  I realized, that like the cookie, Debbie and I were no different – we were working together to make something as one.  Yes, technically, I mean the cookie…but, symbolically, we work well together as a team.  After all this time together, while we are each individuals, we work well as a whole; in some cases, we are able to accomplish more together than as two separate beings.  The importance of the two halves took on new meaning…

Finally, the icing was applied to the last cookie.  The long moment we had been waiting for had arrived – did this awesome looking treat taste as good as they looked?  We both manned our own cookie and, true to past eating, tried one side, then the other.  Mmmm – that was great!  The time and effort together in the kitchen had yielded a most tasty treat.  Together, we baked; together, we had a fun night; together, we created magic…

The Importance of Date Night

“Remember when we were young?” Sounds like the beginning of a Pink Floyd song (bonus points if you know the song).  Part of being a young adult was going out on dates.  Now, I am 53 years old, married with children in college and my last “official” date that I asked a girl to go with me became my wife.  BC, as in before children, we used to go out frequently, with friends, for dinners, for parties or just to the movies.  AC, after children, we went out less frequently in general.  Yes, we did have babysitters, but there was now an additional cost to going out.  Going out could be an expensive night out; in fact, there was a time all we could afford was the babysitter, so we would hang out at my brother’s house.  And as our children got older, to be 100% honest, we enjoyed doing things more as a family; for we knew that the day would come when we would reach the EN, empty nest, part of our lives.  We have friends, we have gone out, but rarely refer to this as a “date night.”

We went out with a group of friends a few weeks ago to a local show and dessert after.  The week before, we went out to dinner with a different group of friends.  At this point in my life, I need to redefine what a date is, as I am no longer a young adult trying to woo some fair young damsel (I will leave it at that and up to your individual imaginations).  At that point in my life, there was a level of excitement, maybe even a giddiness to asking out someone you barely knew, or being asked to go on a date.  There was something fresh about meeting someone new and getting to know them.  I have known Debbie coming up on 27 years, or put differently, we have reached the point where we have been together longer than the time before we knew each other.  I still owe some excitement to my wife, even though we know almost everything about each other.

BC was learning about each other and enjoying the time with just the two of us.  AC was time spent raising children and being a family.  EN is still new and an adjustment to our lives.  So then how do I approach redefining “date night”?  Maybe it is just a chance to take a break from the week, check our brains at the front door and enjoy time together in a more social environment.  We definitely have our weekday routines, our weekend routines and our holiday routines.  Maybe, “date night” is a chance to mix things up, an opportunity to try out new things together (I do not know what that is), revisit something we had done years ago when we were younger (going to a utensil-less dinner) or an old fashioned dinner and a movie. 

Since I started this article, I have gone and asked my date, Debbie, if she wanted to go out for dinner and a movie.  The following night, we went out for dinner and a few drinks.  After all of this time together, it still felt like asking someone on a first date.  I went through the old thinking – “Will I sound stupid?”, “What if she says no?”, “What if she says yes.”  Of course, she said yes.  It was exciting, and we went to a new restaurant and had a great evening.  I realized that “date night”, for now, is just a label for spending time together with someone I love, doing something we can enjoy together and sharing experiences.  For the first time in many years, I have to be honest, probably since BC, I am looking forward to Valentine’s Day, and have made some fun plans.  Bottom line – Spend time together with the one you love, it does not necessarily mean spending money on them, but something of real value…your time.