Lending a Helping Hand

I stood there quietly as the line began to form.  At first there was a trickle, then the people entered the queue at a quicker rate.  There was no pushing or shoving, though some did wave to others and some did walk up to talk to friends.  For the most part, these people were neatly dressed, well groomed and polite.  Some of the people in line looked as if they just had got off from work, carrying a notepad portfolio.  These could have been yours or my neighbors as there was nothing to distinguish them as being any different.  As they stepped up to the counter, the volunteers who I was with happily talked to whomever was in front of them and there were plenty of smiles and laughs all around.

The volunteers who I was with were here to help those in need of a meal as part of the “Family Promise of Bergen County” in conjunction with the “Bergen County Housing, Health and Human Services Center” in Hackensack.  After talking to one of the people who works at the kitchen, I found out that there is an influx of people towards the end of the month because they have run out of money for the month.  We were helping to provide a vital service of providing a meal (this is donated from the volunteer’s organization or congregation) to those who have found themselves in a less fortunate situation.  I was at the kitchen, as a runner to restock the supplies, with the Social Action group from our synagogue.  This group has been run by one of our members, assisted by her family, for a number of years.  As president of the congregation, it warms my heart and makes me proud to know that we are involved with this, helping out at the Center for Food Action, collection of food throughout the year and adopting a family program at Thanksgiving.  As a more fortunate person, these programs that we participate in help to remind us to be thankful for what we have.

As I looked out at the group of people eating, some of the people clearly came from where they work.  I did overhear one person make phone calls to line up some work for himself.  When we think of needy people, we sometimes have a preconceived notion that they wear raggedy clothes, have no sense of personal cleanliness and might flash the toothless smile at you.  I have seen these people roaming the streets of the city.  If you walked into the group we were feeding on the sidewalk, you would not know what their particular situation was.  When the meal was over, many of the people there walked back up to the counter, not looking for handouts, but merely to share their thanks and appreciation for the meal provided.  Then the room cleared, we cleaned up the work area and then we were finished.

The big take away of our day – To remember when eating the next meal or enjoying the bounty our labors, there are some less fortunate trying to make ends meet.  A little bit of kindness, a small donation or a helping hand can make all the difference.

Do Unto Others…

“Do you want to help at the food pantry this year?” Debbie asked me.  The easy answer, of course, is no – but that comes from a place of laziness and selfishness. 

“You know you should, it would be good for you to help,” she followed up and was 100% percent correct (…again).

As I stood in my kitchen, I looked around.  Next to me was a refrigerator full of food, beside a stocked pantry.  I live in a nice town and I am thankful and blessed to be able live the life that I have.  Living in my own little bubble, my world is doing well (for me).  In a conversation recently with someone that I know, they talked about a recent trip to Cuba, highlighting how there is nothing new brought in and that they have to maintain whatever they have from the 1960s; they have veritable no income and no money, so they have to maintain what they had prior to “the Revolution.”  She said it made one appreciate what they have back in the US.

The place we would help at, The Center for Food Action, in 2016 provided the following locally (from their website cfanj.org):

• Distributed 63,615 Emergency & Holiday Food Packages.   An emergency food package consists of seven days worth of food; the amount of food a household receives is based on family size.  On average, an emergency food package consists of 6 bags of groceries.
• Provided Thanksgiving food packages to 3,162 households–9,453 people
• Helped 1,174 households with other basic needs: rent-224 households, security deposits-283 households, utility & heating bills-665 households, miscellaneous assistance – 2.
• Distributed more than 20,000-weekend snack packs to children in eight area elementary schools.

 “What do we have to do?” I asked.

“Help sort the food for distribution,” Debbie said.  “And you will be helping those less fortunate.”

“Yes, please sign me up…I want to participate.”

During this holiday season, while we can afford to give gifts to our families, remember to lend a hand to help other that are less fortunate than yourself.  Hope that you and your families have a joyful and meaningful holiday season!

First Annual Memorial Golf Outing

With the passing of Magda, the thought came up as to what is the best way to remember someone that was special, caring and giving during their life.  What actions can one take to reflect and remember the best of someone, so that a legacy can be created?  It is not easy to memorialize someone, to take some real stand in helping to pass on a legacy that reflects some part, if not all, of his or her life.  At her core, Magda was a caring, giving individual.  Someone had to make a decision, and offered up by our friend, Scott - the decision was given a small test, and the results were special.  Recently, we held the first Annual Magda Memorial Golf Outing, with a donation made to the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund Alliance in her memory.  This is about Magda, a chance to raise funds then use those funds to give and help others afflicted with the same disease that took her away from us.  Raising the money was the objective; golf was merely the vehicle for that cause.

During the warmer weather, one can drive around and see banners hanging over the street, read in the local papers and sometimes, hear on the radio, events named for people.  These can be nation walks (Relay for Life was started by one person), a local run, or other event.   I always wondered not only who the people were, but also, how the events got started.  Like all successes, it has to start with an idea.  While we all have moments where we are inspired by a mere thought, that moment of clarity is only there for the moment.  In each of the events, in each time greatness was achieved, a germ of a thought had to be at the root.  It was following the idea, putting a course of action together, having a sense of purpose and engaging that has caused the events to become bigger than the original idea.

Most importantly, this is about preserving the memory of someone, where each year, we can share her virtue of giving and helping others.  It is interesting to note that in ancient times, leaders would recast history to meet their needs, project (or remove) a legacy by altering the truth for their own benefits.  Fortunately, and especially in our case, Magda lived a life that was value oriented, and was always true to her beliefs, so we can draw upon the facts of her life.  While there were only a few of us involved this first year, we hope to increase the participation next year; such that in years to come, we can have a positive impact on the field of cancer research to help others so afflicted in Magda’s name.  Though saddened by our loss, it will be exciting to help others...

Zahal Shalom – Welcoming Israeli Vets

At the airport this morning, we said goodbye to our new friend that we met two weeks ago.  It is a bit sad, as we do not know when we shall see each other again, but through the wonders of technology, Debbie, Gab, Bec and I will be able to keep in touch.  In these brief two weeks, we have enjoyed time, meals, conversations and various activities helping to create a bond and shared memories.  For us, it was a chance to do something different, something a little outside our comfort zone, and an opportunity to help someone else.  But, I am getting a bit ahead of myself.

In 1993, I remember my parents telling Debbie and I that one of their close friends was starting a group to bring injured Israeli Vets to America and that they were going to join in a dinner for them.  “That’s nice,” I said and then promptly filed that away, along with the many other tidbits my parents told me about that did not directly concern me.  I know that my parents each year mentioned this annual hosting “thing.”  I do remember thinking that it was a nice thing to do.  However, starting and focusing on having a family, this item along with many others things that were not a priority proceeded to move out of my mind’s forefront and into some deeply locked area of my brain.  They say that our brain is one of the greatest computers ever developed and can retain immeasurable amounts of information to be stored for either current or future usage. 

Fast forward to 2017…About two months ago, Debbie called me to say that friends of ours asked if we would be a buddy-family for some group called Zahal Shalom.  “What is that and what do I have to do,” was my first response.  OK, a little cold on my part, but unfortunately, if I took on something new, it meant making room within my busy schedule for something else that would need to have my attention.  As Debbie was explaining this to me, it dawned on us that this might be the same group founded by my parent’s friend 25 years ago.  Now this mitzvah (good deed) had some sentimental value. 

Finally, after weeks of waiting, the group from Israel arrived and we met our former soldier, Yan.  All we knew was that he was in his 30s, recently married, an engineer and liked to swim.  The first time I met Yan was over a family dinner with the host family, their parents and us (buddy family).  We all felt a connection while engaging in the ancient ritual of breaking bread together and happily welcomed Yan into our little group.  This was a great beginning and over the next few days, our friendships grew.

While Yan and the other nine vets were in the US, they had a series of planned trips to New York that include museums, sites, meals and a Broadway show.  They also went on a 3-day trip to Washington D.C., where our local Congressman met with them.  Of course, there was some time for shopping and a little free time to do some activities with the host and buddy family.  These were two busy weeks for our visitors, and unbeknownst to us when we signed on, for us as well.

Debbie went with Yan on trips to NYC and a High School presentation.  Gab took Yan shopping and all you can eat sushi.  I went to a blues club in Greenwich Village with the group.  Together, with our friends and family, we drove to Queens so Yan could visit with family, went to various dinners (including one at our house), desserts, and a fun Zahal Shalom pool party.  At the organization’s 25^th Gala Celebration, it was great to see the happy faces and watch these vets, no matter what they went through, leave their issues off the dance floor, and dance with abandonment at the celebration of life. 

As humans, one of our greatest gifts is to give of ourselves and of our time, to helping others.  In the end, this was our personal “investment” in this wonderful program.  Best of all, we have made a new friend, to visit when either we go to Israel, or, next time he comes back here.

For more information, or to help support this wonderful organization, please visit http://www.zahalshalom.com/.

In the Service of Others

“Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.” ~ Albert Einstein

Playing in a band, for me, is something that I enjoy.  I am doing something with friends, creating something we have a passion for and having the opportunity to focus on that one activity.  Most of the time, when we jam, we check our ego, life issues and concerns at the front door so that we can enjoy the moments of making music.  Do we play out, not often.  However, we play one gig a year that we look forward to and, in my mind, it elevates what we do, as we are doing it not necessarily for ourselves, but for others.

A friend of ours, Dr. Bruce, has been involved with J-ADD, the Jewish Association for Developmental Disabilities, and helps with their annual walk-a-thon.  A number of years ago, Dr. Bruce, who occasionally sits in on the saxophone with me and the boys, asked if we could provide music for the event.  Each year, we pull something together, whether it is a duo, a trio or a larger ensemble, to provide the music.  Every time we play, it is a great feeling-seeing people come up, people smiling, and people dancing in front of the band.  I walk away each year feeling good about being able, in a small way, to help with this event.  To have the opportunity to give back, especially in a way I enjoy, makes the event, makes the music and makes the day wonderful.

We have friends that are involved in different charitable events.  Some people do 39.3-mile walks for the charity they support.  Some people walk through the night for their charity.  Some people actively ask for money for their charities.  Some people are involved in food drives to feed the needy.  I have one friend that believes that giving charitably will change the world.  We work hard to better ourselves, provide for our families and plan for our future time of leisure.  It is important that we always help those less fortunate and the organizations that provide help or research to conquer disease.  We happily support our friends and the charitable organizations they support.  To paraphrase one of Maimonides’ eight levels of charity, it is important to give “…without knowing to whom one gives, and without the recipient knowing from who he received.”  What charities do you support?