Steppin' Out

 

I do not get out much.  Since March, I have written about the minimal times that I have been out, the circles that I have drawn around myself and the diligence to remain safe.  The truth is, while my comfort zone is primarily my house, that does not mean I do not yearn to go out and do the things that we used to do.  I have commented that I would love to get in the car and drive somewhere for vacation, but I have no desire to eat in a hotel, when half the fun of vacation is going and doing what you want in the moment that you want to do it. 

Last week, cabin fever was reaching a peak.  Debbie suggested that I come up with something that I would like to do.  What we really needed was a change of scenery, something outside our usual travelling (i.e., the supermarket), and something to feel good and safe about.  We wanted to go someplace outside and to get some exercise.  After a little research, we found the perfect location.  We found a historical pedestrian walkway over the Hudson River where the walkway is a converted railroad bridge.  The two of us gathered our supplies (snacks, drinks, toiletries, etc.), hopped into the car and off we went.  After the past five months of barely leaving my house, I was travelling outside the county and crossing the state border.  Nothing too hair raising, but this felt like a big step.  And who better to have an adventure with than my wife!

It was a great day to take a drive.  The sun was out and driving up the NY turnpike was enough to make the trip worthwhile.  We followed the Hudson River north until we crossed over the Mid-Hudson Bridge.  Looking off to the left, we could see the “Walkway over the Hudson”, our destination.  We arrived at the half full parking lot, donned our masks, grabbed our drinks and went off.  I was nervous at first, until I noticed that everyone maintained a social distance from the other walkers.  Everyone had masks with them, though took them off while walking.  We reached the far side of the bridge, then walked through the streets of Poughkeepsie to have a chance to walk across the Mid-Hudson Bridge.  This bridge was empty.  Then we found something really cool and unexpected; The composer, Joseph Bertolozzi, recorded the sound of the bridge to create music.  Along the walk are stations that explain his process and present this unique musical experience. 

When we returned to our car, we realized that this was exactly what the doctor ordered.  We had a safe mini-adventure.  Even though we thought about finding a place to get a drink, we played it safe and realized that we could pick up a drink from a drive through and then drive home.  It was a great day!  OK, all we really did was go to a different location for a walk, but a change of location, exercise, a sunny day and walking hand-in-hand with my wife…it was worth “Steppin’ out, with my baby.” *

 

* Music from Irving Berlin played in my head…

Drawing Circles Around Ourselves

 For four months, my life has been existing primarily from within my house.  I can probably count the number of times that I have been to the store, social visited with friends, etc.  Most of the time when I leave my house, it is the same as sticking your big toe into the pool to see if it is cold.  Trying to stay balanced, you gingerly poke at the top layer of water to determine what you will do next.  I do realize that I work from my house, conduct synagogue business from my house and Zoom socialize from my house.  My children live at home, so we stay together safely as a family.  I have unknowingly gone and drawn a safety or comfort zone around my house.  There are a few other circles that I have drawn where I feel safe, but not many.

Why am I talking about circles?  A number of years ago, I gave a speech regarding our individual comfort zones and how once they are designated, we find it difficult to step outside them.  I likened the comfort zones to circles – circles we draw around ourselves to feel comfortable, circles our parents drew to provide us with a sense of safety and the circles drawn by others to influence us.  The longer the circles are there, the stronger they seem and the wider the drawn lines symbolizing the boundaries become.  But, Wayne, you are thinking, if we draw them, can’t we just erase them?  One would think that.  I remember learning that one of the ways to train a baby elephant is to tether them to a post with a chain.  Once they realize that they cannot escape, as they grow up, it becomes a conditioned reflex, so much so that replacing the chain with a rope will keep the elephant still.  While a full-grown elephant can go pretty much wherever they want whenever they want, due to this learned habit, their comfort zone has become ingrained in them.  Humans are no different once the circles have been drawn.

For me, the key was to realize what I have done by drawing the circle of Covid safety around myself.  I feel safe (that is good), but get anxious about venturing out (that is not good).  I do not want to confuse this with going forth into the world with a mindset towards safety and a diligence to protect ourselves and those around us with the unusual amount of people vying for Darwin Award.  (Yes, I am referring to those who think they are immune to disease, disregard the events of the past five months and think they know better)   Now that I can see the circles that I have drawn around me, I can work towards erasing them by deliberately making planned ventures outside of the house.  Social visits in person, going shopping (when needed), etc., help to overcome these “fears” that have developed.  I am happy to wear my bandana and go out.  Because of this, I am starting to have less anxiety and working towards expanding the circles that I have recently drawn around myself.