Opportunity of a Lifetime

Back in September, while we were on vacation driving from Nashville to Memphis, Bec excitedly texted:

Bec had just sat down for her first class of the new trimester and had just received her class assignment.  These were three countries to not only learn something about, but to visit!  I think Debbie and I screamed in the car when Debbie read this to me – this was the “class field trip” of a lifetime.

Let me take a step back – Bec is in college studying Travel – Tourism and Hospitality Management.  She has reach the point in her curriculum where she is taking a course on Tour Management Operations.  You know that you need to walk the walk, before you can talk the talk.  So, the cornerstone of the class is a Familiarization (FAM) Tour — where you learn the first day of class what country, or countries, you are going visit, to experience the components of traveling and spend a day leading the class in discussions related to their experience.

OMG – Bec is going to Africa!!!  We screamed again in the car! 

The beginning of November, it was a few days before the trip and Bec, who is usually reserved, was extremely excited.  She wrote out her exciting itinerary, which included visiting Nelson Mandela’s house, going on a Safari, visiting Victoria Falls and white water rafting down the Zambezi River.  I screamed again and posted the trip on my wall at work.  Our little girl was going off on a unique trip.  While they were focused on the trip, they were not heading off to the calmest part of the world.  While in Zimbabwe, a lady from New Jersey was incarcerated for tweeting something negative about the president Robert Mugabe.  After the group returned, a quiet coup happened in Harare, the capital of Zimbabwe, where they had traveled through, ending Mugabe’s 30+ year reign where poverty became the norm as he held the majority of the country’s money.  “Toto, we are not in Kansas anymore…”  We screamed again…and a valuable lesson was learned about how we take for granted the freedoms we get to enjoy here. The students were made aware of the situation and understood how to act when visiting another nation.

OK, I would be remiss if I did not share the highlights, which Bec held close to the vest until she showed us a video presentation of her trip, through her pictures, on Thanksgiving.  We were thankful for her to have this opportunity and thankful she is back safely with having had a wonderful experience!

Safari in Botswana

Soweto and Nelson Mandela's House

White Water Rafting - That's Bec's foot as they flipped!

Victoria Falls

I Come from NJ with a Banjo on my Knee

A few weeks ago, I commented that I was going to learn the banjo, which included a picture of the banjo that I was gifted.  We all know someone that says they are going to undertake a goal, spend money towards that end and then, how can I put this delicately…they get distracted.  A simple example is how gym membership increases in January, the gym is crowded in January and maybe mid-February; yesterday afternoon when we went – it was empty.  I have the banjo, purchased two books and found some YouTube videos to help me – yes, I have opened and used the books; yes, I have used the video training.  Most importantly, to learn an instrument, one needs to practice.  While I have not practiced every day, I am able to practice at least 4–5 times a week for at least 15 minutes.  The result?  I am starting to develop calluses on my fingertips!

You might ask – does already being able to read music and the ability to play various instruments help?  The answer is yes and no.  Knowing how to strum guitar helps…only a little, since I am learning the 3-finger picking method.  While a string instrument like the guitar, the tuning of the 5-string banjo is different and the method of playing is completely new to me.  As with anything that is new in our lives, we tend to find the similarities to the things that we know to make what lies before us easier.  There are many times where I hear, “That is going to be a problem,” or, “That cannot be done because we could not do that the last time.”  As Henry Ford was famously quoted, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.”  If one changes their mindset in a small way, to look at things differently, the “problem” becomes merely a “challenge.”  Hurdles placed before us = opportunity to learn something new. 

My opportunities, in this case, are multiple.  I am enjoying listening to the great Earl Scruggs, who redefined the banjo with his three-finger picking style.  I am listening to some Béla Fleck, who pushes the boundaries of banjo usage into other genres outside Bluegrass.  I am learning to play a fun instrument, and trying to figure out what songs to play with the band where I can introduce the banjo.  For now, I am learning some basic chords (G is the easiest), and some rolls (right hand picking patterns).  I have to admit, having played guitar beforehand, it is a bit confusing, but like all challenges/ opportunities, it takes some time, practice and a desire to learn. 

Here is a clip of me playing Cripple Creek, a simple beginner banjo standard:

Wayne Playing Cripple Creek

Take a Step Back

On one of the live Grateful Dead tapes that I used to have, the band comments that people are crowding too close to the stage.  To have the audience move back and make some general space, the band starts chanting, “1, 2, 3, take a step back.”  This seems to have worked, as there are other live records where they repeated this method.  If you have ever been to a concert with general admissions, as the band is playing and people are really into the music, they seem to gravitate closer to the stage.  They may not be intentionally rushing the stage, but more are drawn to it. They literally have to take a step back.

Basically, I am not an in your face type of person.  I am somewhat reserved, and slow to getting angry…but it does happen (as with most people).  When I get angry, or upset, it is usually after a series of events, a bad day, or someone has already gotten under my skin.  I do not look for confrontation, but sometimes, like my example above, it seems like I am drawn towards it.  That is not to make an excuse, but reality.

What I find is that usually, I get frustrated (instead of angry).  I have learned that people do not always listen, or, maybe better put, hear what they want based on the filters they have in place.  I can say something multiple times, but if my audience does not care, it is not important to them, or, they are completely distracted, they will not hear, no matter how hard I try, what I have to say.  Down the road, when what I have been saying, or in some cases, they have agreed with me, they realize it may affect them directly, they engage by either agreeing or, in many cases, pushing back.  The frustration happens, on my part, when I have put out the effort to communicate, taken steps to move something forward, and engaged other people, when my original audience decides to make a decision based on a single point and without “taking a step back” to look at the bigger picture, or deny they had prior knowledge.

As Frank Sinatra sang, “That’s life…ridin’ high in April, shot down in May…back on top in June…”  We have choices in life, either we let people (that we have no control over) dictate our outcomes, or we (re)direct our paths (things we have control over) to improve the chances of success.  Yes, sometimes we all need to take a step back.  People have short-term memories and forget the conversations they have had – I cannot control that.  People are self-interested and in general are concerned about themselves – I cannot forget that.  Align the path with others interests – I control.  Making sure to include everyone – I control. 

While we can take a step back, reassess the situation, readjust things and redirect our efforts towards our objective, it is important not to lose sight of our objects / goals.  Like any road we travel, there are times where a tree can fall in the way, a speed bump appears out of nowhere or we simply need to refuel.  Taking detours are part of being a driver.  When we fall, we can get up, brush ourselves off and move forward.  I can take a step back, catch my breath and move on.  Occasionally, like the Dead, it is OK to tell others to take a step back. 

Seasons

Breaking news: Summer is really over in New Jersey!

I cannot believe this as I sit here typing in the beginning of November and this is my thought.  This simple thought was triggered by the fact that this past Sunday was our group’s final official round of golf.  The golf season where we play starts in April and ends in October.  In my mind, this is a warm weather sport, which means that golf season = summer.  Last round of golf = end of summer.  Weird, huh?  When I was young, I remember equating summer with no school and going to camp.  In retrospect, summers are now much longer than the July and August school break (or June to September for college age). 

As I had these thoughts, I began to realize how our perceptions change as we get older.  When I first learned to play golf, it was at Camp Echo Lark, where we had a golf-pro teach us how to play.  Golf was a game that both my grandfathers played, and at the time, the golf pro was about their age (or so it seemed from my point of view).  Since my father did not play, in my mind, golf was for older folks.  Fast-forward about forty years and some of my friends decided to learn the game.  After the first year that they played, I joined the group.  Our tee time has been early on Sunday mornings, so that when we are done, we still have the full afternoon. 

I am not a grandparent, and years younger than the age of my grandparents were when I first learned to play golf.  Truth is, we are up early, doing an outdoor activity, having some laughs and hanging with friends.  It is funny, my brother has played golf, we have friends that have children that play, but my perception did not change until I had the clubs in my hand.  I am not a good player, but I still go out (yes, I had to get over the fear of being a bad player).  I play with an old hand me down set, but I play.  And now, the clubs get put back into the garage for next year, for you see, summer is officially over…this year.