Give Back

For years, I have given money to charitable causes, but not my time.  I am a bit of an introvert, so the one time we went to help at a rehab center for Christmas, I was awkward and uncomfortable, which my wife recognized right away.  I did not feel good and felt like I did not help out…I was done.  My daughter, Rebecca, goes a few times a year with my mother-in-law, Barbara, to a food kitchen.  When she comes home, she always feels good about herself and has wonderful stories about her day and the great impact she feels she is making.  I am very proud of her and secretly wish I could be like her in this case.

How many of you give to charitable organizations?  With almost a predictable certainty, at specific times of the year, we get calls (usually around dinnertime) from a donation drive, which may or may not be legitimate.  I love when you ask for more information to be sent in the mail, they “drop the phone”, and the line becomes instantly disconnected.  Sometimes, friends of ours are involved in a walk or a run, which we happily donate in support the events and our friends.  These are causes that they are personally touched by and passionate about.  Two of our friends do Meals-on-Wheels and enjoy the time they spend with the people receiving their deliveries.  It takes a special kind of person to interact with those in need.

And then, one day, a few years ago, a friend and fellow musician (he is a great saxophone player) asked if me if the band would want to play at a walk-a-thon for J-ADD (Jewish Association for Developmental Disabilities).  I pulled together a small group that included one of my brothers, the singer from our band, a friend (that has recorded albums with various groups) and my friend the sax player.  We practiced a few times, then played for a half hour before the walk and a half hour after the walk.  For the second set, we had most of the walk participants up on the stage with us dancing along.  At that one moment, it hit me…my heart swelled and a tear came to my eye (as is happening as I write this)…I found a way that I could have a personal, positive impact.  I looked over at the other band members and saw the same emotion etched on their smiling faces.  That was seven years ago and every year since we look forward to this most special gig.  Sometimes the member of the band changes, based on availability, but we all enjoy the opportunity to give back.

To donate to this wonderful organization, go to their website, http://www.j-add.org/ and click on the donation button in the top right corner.

Wayne, This is Josh Talking

Do we really pay attention, or has technology taken over?  I began to think about this after a recent business trip to Boston.  For a change, I decided to drive and had a reservation at a Marriott Courtyard in South Boston.  As I left the house in the morning, I entered the address into my GPS and settled into the approximately four-hour trip north.  This was a great opportunity to catch up on some podcasts, both educational and music.   As I got closer to my destination, I actually turned off the radio and sat up a little straighter in my seat to pay closer attention to the directions.  I was so busy watching and listening to Josh and was excited when he said, “You have reached your destination.” I looked around and found myself in a residential area with no hotels, just a Dunkin Donuts and a T station.  I was absolutely confused and decided that it would be best to call the hotel for help.  Very politely, they told me the “GPS Address” to enter.  I cannot believe that places now have an official street address and a GPS address…

OK – a slight digression.  In our household, my family decided to give names to the GPS voices.  In my car, there is a male voice, so he is Josh.  In my wife’s car, she has a female voice that they named Gertie.  My wife and daughters no longer call the device a GPS, but refer to them by name.  I always know which car someone used by them letting me know that Josh, or Gertie, gave good directions.  It seems as if Josh provides the more direct path, while Gertie enjoys the scenic routes.

To get to the office, I needed to walk to the T station.  The front desk was very helpful and they gave me the directions which were simple - walk out the only driveway to road, go a few steps, then make a left at the traffic light and eventually you will see the T station. As I walked down the driveway, the street looked familiar - I drove down this street.  I drove by this driveway!  Wait a minute, what is this little sign by the driveway sticking out of the ground?  It is the Marriott sign – I drove by this sign!  I turned around and behind me, there were two building that were obviously the only hotels in the area – I drove by this hotel!  I cannot believe it, if I were watching where I was going instead of blindly following Josh, I would have seen the extremely small sign sitting at ground level announcing the hotel.  Have I become so dependent on technology that I forget to look up and “smell the roses?”

Touchdown – I Have Reached the Goal!

“Today’s word is persistence,” said the Word Master / Grammarian. “Persistence is a noun that means to continue doing something or trying to do something even though it is difficult or opposed by other people.”  In the world of Toastmasters, this is the new word that we need to attempt to include any time we speak during the night and a great way to help expand our vocabulary.  Sometimes, the words are easier to use, like travail (painful or laborious effort), or other times much harder to use, like the word I once presented, omphaloskepsis (contemplation of one’s navel).  I am generally good at including the word while I am speaking, as it becomes an extra challenge and a worthwhile exercise of “thinking on your feet.”

How often in our lives, during the course of a week, a month or a year, do we say to ourselves, or to other people that we have an objective or a goal we would like to strive for?  The key words are “would like to strive”, as these words lack a certain sense of commitment, as opposed to “are striving”.  I cannot talk for other people, but in my case, I have often used those words because in my mind, the excuses and conditions for success have formed a line for use when needed.  Once we, or in this case, I make the decision for a strong enough commitment to something, we become persistent in our pursuit of our goal.  How do we know we are serious?  We set an end date for completion, then follow that path come hell or high water.  We become focused and reprioritize things in our lives to accomplish the goals we really want to achieve.

On Friday, I was thankful for the word of the day.  I joined Toastmasters in September 2013 with great excitement and enthusiasm.  Toastmasters, which just celebrated its 90^th anniversary, has two tracks that you work on, one for speaking and the other for leadership.  My focus was speaking.  After joining, I was informed that there are no timetables for when to speak and it is self-directed; some people take 2 years to complete the required 10 speeches to achieve a Competent Communicator status, while others take months before they even make their first speech.  10 speeches? I had it set in my mind that I will reach this goal in one year – very aggressive.  The group meets twice a month, with the summer off, that means there were about 20 meetings to reach my goal.  My first presentation was at the second meeting in November 2013 and I was on my way.  This past Friday, on October 24, 2014, with great PERSISTENCE, I gave my tenth speech to achieve the goal that I set out for myself!  Like the old adage, if you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.   

With This Ring I Thee Wed

During a recent business trip to Hong Kong, I had a dream that I was on a bus with my wife, Debbie, having some type of conversation.  While we were talking, I noticed that I did not have my watch on, and began to wonder what happened to it.  Just as I was thinking this, Debbie looked over and asked me, “What happened to your ring, you don’t have it on?”  I never take off my wedding ring.  I looked down beyond where my watch sits on my wrist dreading what I was to find missing from my finger.  Sure enough, missing from my ring finger, or digitus medicinalis, was my wedding band!  I was in a complete panic, “I don’t know,” I answered Debbie, “It was there earlier.”  I jabbed both of my hands into my pockets, initially thinking that I took the ring off for some reason.  I immediately found my watch (a gift from Debbie that I cherish as well), put it on, and continued digging in my pockets, frantic that I could not find the ring.

Strictly speaking, a ring is an ornamental piece of jewelry that can be worn on a finger, on a toe, and in some cases through one’s nose.  Many of us have school rings, from either high school or college.  I used to wear my college ring proudly after graduating college, as I was proud of my accomplishment and happy to wear it as a badge of honor.  As a child, I remember my mom choosing a ring to wear based on what occasion she was dressing for and my father wore a Masonic ring for many years.  So why was I so frantic over a piece of jewelry, which I could have replaced if needed?

When we decided to get married, we both decided on a double ring ceremony.  To both of us, the rings were a symbol of the commitment we were going to declare publicly at our wedding.  I took, and still to this day, take the commitment we made to each other very seriously, so much so, that I put away my college ring, which I have not worn on my finger since that time (I am not even sure where it is).  I found a woman that I love and like the college ring before, wear my wedding band proudly.  The only times that I remove the ring is when I play basketball, otherwise I have it as a constant symbol affixed upon my finger.  So, when I could not find the ring in my dream, my panic was a clear reflection of how I would react in the waking world if I found my ring had disappeared.  It might be a circle of gold to most people, but to me, it is a constant reminder of my commitment to our marriage and the symbolic link between my wife and me, no matter where I go.