Changing Sleeping Habits

Monday, I called in sick.  This is a rarity for me.  Ends up my body said, “Wayne, you need sleep.”  You see, I have this habit of going and going, waking up early, staying up late and not taking much down time.  Every so often, my body will hit the proverbial wall and cause me to become “sick” so that I take the time to let my body catch up.  Sometimes, I can see the signs of this coming, other times, like this past week, I did not.

When I was a teen – I remember sleeping a lot.  My dad used to come into my room and wake me up saying it was 2:00 in the afternoon on the weekends and that I was wasting my day.  I had nothing happening, so I was not sure what time I was wasting.  As an adult, I was not excited to see my kids sleep that late, but understood and never woke them up, unless they actually needed to be up.  This continued through college.  And, even with the sleeping, I was a big fan of the nap.  On a hot summers day, I would curl up into a ball under the A/C wall unit in my parents dining room and sleep.  Napping was good and no one knew where I was, also good!

When I was a young adult – I started to believe that time gets wasted by sleeping too much.  I also began to realize that I really did not need 8 – 12 hours of sleep.  If done correctly, I found that 5 – 6 hours of good, high quality sleep occurred, I was all set.  However, the all-important nap was still great!  At this point in my life, nap time, when it is possible, is out in the open and with no hiding necessary.

When I am an adult – I have little time to accomplish so many things.  When we first got married, I remember us having plenty of free time.  Then the girls popped into our lives.  I worked long hours and began to travel for work.  We became involved in different activities, some for the kids, some for us.   We do have some social life.  Sleep can sometimes be less than 5 – 6 hours.  The nature of napping has completely changed.  I can sleep anywhere in any position (except standing, though I have tried).  Catching 10 minutes sitting in a chair is sometimes all I can sneak in.  A full nap that is a planned event.  For example, as I am writing this, if our afternoon outside activities get rained out, I might be able to get in a nap. 

I know, the body needs to sleep, regenerate and recover from the daily activity of life.  It has become a balancing act.  My maternal grandfather used to say 1 hour of sleep before midnight was worth 2 after.  I am not sure what that means, but have gotten to the point where getting to bed an hour before midnight is a good thing, because no matter what time I go to sleep, I know that come 5:00 (during the week), my clock radio (yes, I still have one) will be waking me up.

Change Comes to Everyone

Yes, I am the guy who writes about change, speaks publicly about change and whose livelihood relies on change.  But what happens when change comes to Wayne?  And I am not talking about the fuzzy stuff that is adorning my chin.  I am talking about looking out into the future, setting some goals and making the choices in order (some more difficult than others) to attain what I need in my life. 

Next month I turn 56.  “The Balance” recently printed an article that, based on US Census information, the average retirement age is around 63, with life in retirement lasting 18 years.  According to that statistic, I have only 7 years left in the workforce and 25 years before I start pushing up daisies.  While I have no thoughts of retiring, as I still enjoy what I do, maybe I should take the stats into account.  I am planning to make it to 100 years old, which is 44 years away.  While I do not like to always follow the pack,  at some point, this ride called life will come to the end of the line, whether I am ready or not.

There is some measure of truth in the saying (attributed to Tony Robbins), "Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”  As we move through life, we reach different points where we have become comfortable where we are, we take pleasure in “know all” about our supposed areas of expertise, and as a result, start the slide towards Mediocrity.  Roy Vaden made the observation that “Success is never owned; it is only rented, and the rent is due every day!”  As we become comfortable, we tend to slack off, find the easier ways to achieve the same goals (sometimes, however, this can lead to new discoveries), and tend to ride on our laurels.  I am no different.  By becoming the president of a volunteer organization, that I faced many new challenges.  Yes, I was prepared.  Yes, I knew what I was getting into and the potential risks.

Still…we draw the circles around us, put up the fences and rely on that comfy chair.  Stepping out, putting ourselves in a less than familiar environment makes us uncomfortable and vulnerable and triggers those ancient instincts to protect what we have.  Without breaking out the mold of our own creation, without experimenting and without searching out new experiences, we fulfill the image of sitting in the rocking chair on the front porch, sipping lemonade and enjoy watching the grass grow. 

Not for me…new changes, here I come!  More to follow on this in the near future…

I Feel Like a Child

At what point in our life do we lose our childhood wonderment and curiosity about the things that happen around us?

I do not know why, but as I stood there, with the Lulav (made up of palm, myrtle and willow leaves) in my right hand and the Etrog in my left, I looked over at the leader (cantor) and was in complete fascination with what was going on.  I felt like a little boy, mimicking the moves of the older gentleman saying the ancient words and shaking the symbolic objects in his hands.  It felt so…mystical.  I felt like I had been transported back through time and had the special pleasure of holding some relic that contained special powers, my mind filled with wonder (could have been the strong Etrog smell).  I felt like…a child, in that there was a sense of wonder, a sense of curiosity and a sense of imagination that were simultaneously running through my mind.  

I cannot remember the last time where I had the feeling where time (my age), a sense of control, and an attachment to reality seemed to fade away.  When we were younger, the ability to create an imaginary moment or moments were part of how we played and, in some case, discovered the world around us.  When Gab and Bec were little, we used to watch them play with their dolls, stuffed animals and toys, creating a universe where, to them, everything they touched seemed alive.  I remember sitting on the floor trying to join in the worlds they were creating, but by that time, I was an adult, had an adult job and had family responsibilities.  I remember a feeling of sadness that I had trouble letting my imagination go to fully involve myself in their play.

When we were kids, my brothers and I always played pretend.  Things we saw, people we observed, all became weaved together as we would “act out” our own fantasy world.  As we got a little older, and had mobility with our bikes, the imaginary play world grew as our world expanded.  There is no one point in time where I can place my finger when the world of imagination receded into the world of hard facts.  I miss the opportunity to let my mind go and meld into the world of make believe.  The closest I get today is through vivid dreams, where sometimes, the laws of reality seem to be suspended (different topic for a different day).

So, as I stood there, during the Sukkot service, waving the Lulav and Etrog along with the cantor, I did let myself go and soak in the images and feelings of the moment.  And maybe, that is the key to living in the moment.  There were no thoughts about what came next, what happened yesterday or how the rest of my day would unfold.  I was in that one moment, holding objects tied to our distant past, waving them about with some magical thoughts in my head, feeling like a little child.  Once I realized all of that, the moment was over.  Maybe it is time to search for our inner child, embrace our more imaginative side and let the stress and strain of daily life melt away.  For those moments of calm and bewilderment help us to put things in perspective, realize that we can let go for a little while and enjoy the wonders of life.