Sacrificial Wayne?

With new responsibilities comes new sacrifices.  This is true in so many areas of our lives.  I remember back to a time when Debbie and I were living in an apartment in Montclair.  We were a young couple starting a life together, still learning the ways of the world.  We had recently talked about how nice it would be to stay home, sleep late, lounge around and just watch TV / movies with no responsibilities and not a care in the world.  26+ years later, owning a house, having two daughters (and two dogs), raising a family, being involved in our community, having hobbies / interested, etc., we have accumulated a life filled with activities.  Do not get me wrong, these are good things, but interesting that we “romanticize” a simpler time in our lives.

Life is always about the choices we make.  With each choice comes the responsibility of following through (taking action) and striving to do or be the best at the choices we make.  To achieve that objective, one is either all in or not.  Being all in means doing whatever it takes to reach our goal(s), including prioritizing activities and making some personal short term sacrifices.  These are thoughts that should go into the thought process prior to making a choice.  I had one opportunity where I never went all in.  I did it for years, hoping that things would click and I would obtain the successes I was looking for.  Truth is that I just dabbled – I treated the opportunity as a hobby, sacrificed the wrong things and had little to show for the effort.  I was clearly not all in.

As I take on the new role of President of an organization, the amount of time required is not trivial.  There will be times where I will have to make sacrifices to achieve successes.  However, balance is important – Family still comes first, though the timing of things will be different.  For me, it is important to remind my family of the changes (setting expectations).  Based on past experiences, anything worth doing should be done the right way.  Knowing way in advance what the sacrifices and time commitments will be, can help, even if it is a jolt when it actually occurs.  As with all things we are involved in, there will be an adjustment period until this becomes part of the fabric of life…then the term will be over!  Here’s to change, sacrifice and the successes ahead.

I Still Have My Family

Photo by Sandy Alpern

I pulled up to see the driveway full of cars.  As of a few weeks ago, Debbie and I were clearly empty-nesters.  Maybe my mind was wandering, but I found this to be unusual.  I double counted, and yes, I was going to be the fourth car in the driveway.  Then I remembered – Gab and Bec are home!  The four of us once again under one roof – the thought of that was very exciting.  It was like in the movie, “The Blues Brothers”, when they announce “Let’s get the band back together!”

When the girls were growing up, it was important to sit together each night and have dinner as a family.  The routine was similar each night in that we would ask the girls about their day and what they learned at school.  When the cell phones came along, we had no cell phone dinners.  Looking back, these were great times being together.  Once they went off to school, most nights of the week, Debbie and I ate dinner together. 

After the flurry of activity of the past few weeks, this weekend will be the last one that I have both days to take a step back, take a deep breath and collect my thoughts.  And what better way to do this then have everyone around.  Friday night, everyone had plans, but Saturday, we spent most of the day together.  Friends of ours were running a booth at an Irish Festival, then it was off to swim.  Sunday afternoon, to beat the extreme high temperatures, it was an afternoon in the pool again.

When I started on the path to becoming the President of the synagogue, I told the committee that my family and work would come first.  Time with family is paramount and the means to providing comes second.  I know that balance is important.  So, for the time being, I have all of my girls around to make sure of that.  When I pulled up to the house and saw the cars, there was a certain warmth that filled me knowing that we were all going to be home.

Countdown to a New Journey

Photo by Sandy Alpern

I am about to embark on a new journey.  I do not mean that I am uprooting from my home and venturing forth into the big world that we live in.  This is a journey into a new role, one that I have never had the experience before.  I have already been nominated and am about to become the President of my synagogue.  Yes, I have been involved in clubs and groups before.  Yes, I have had management and leadership roles before.  But never as the person for which Harry S Truman famously had the sign on his desk, being the one where “The Buck Stops Here.”

How did I find myself in this position, you ask?  I was standing around minding my own business when I was first approached about becoming a Vice President, to which I quickly responded no.  Some time later, the then President came up to me and we were talking very nicely.  Yes, I was minding my own business, when he casually mentioned that there were some exciting things about to happen.  Somewhere deep inside my body, I heard the click of some switch, a light flickered in my brain.  He had piqued my interest.  Next thing I know, I was having a conversation with my family, then said yes.  Truth is, I was already serving on the Board of Trustees and involved to some extent.

My original decision to become involved was to have an opportunity to give back to my community.  Yes, it is easier to sit out in the congregation, be content to let others do the work and reap the benefits of membership.  However, I felt that maybe I can add insight, a different perspective and potentially a unique opinion to help others and our organization move forward.  As I have come to realize, the people that I have already worked with believe in what they are doing, are passionate about their beliefs and look towards a rosy tomorrow.  As with any group, each individual has their own good ideas.  I will listen to everyone, pay attention to their thoughts and include them in the process.

With a blink of an eye, the five years as a vice president passed.  At that time, it appeared as a daunting task.  They say that if you focus on the big goals, it is like standing at the bottom of the steps seeing only the step all the way at the top.  We all know that when walking up a staircase, we take one step at a time.  I have focused on each step and now find myself on the top step.  It does not seem daunting any more.  As I am about to step over the threshold, I look forward to the adventure ahead, with its challenges, excitement and opportunities.